Wow. Okay. It's been a minute. So I'm using my old fanfic account to write this story and place it here. For the time being. Anyways I hate long descriptions so here is my story!
Trigger warning! Literally someone here was suicidal! If something like that bothers you, I recommend turning away.
XxXxXx
Ai has been feeling off recently. He has been more scatterbrained and people have been noticing his sudden shift in mood.
He slips up a lot in practice and has been more stressed out about perfection.
And it's all that stupid Reijis fault.
Ever since they finished touring, the two of them managed to be a little closer than before. It started with Reiji blabbing aimlessly about the tour to him while they were sitting in the plane. Ai managed to ignore him, but then Reiji started to ask him about his interests.
"Why do you need to know?" The android blinked.
"You seem so... mysterious! I would like to know more about you so we can become closer!"
"I see no need why we need to be closer together. There is nothing more you need to know about me." He responded coldly.
"There is always a need, Ai-Ai! To increase your bond with a member close to you builds up a sense of trust. It makes you happy to know that there is another person to rely on!" His eyes sparkled. "It reflects in your music as well! Singing with someone close makes the song seem more... passionate."
"Your explanation confuses me. It's not logical to have a better song just because you happen to have friends in your group."
"That's why STARISH songs have such a powerful impact! I want us to have the same feeling!" He grabbed Ai's hands and stared intensely at him.
"Ai-Ai! I want to be your friend!" Ai was taken aback. What if this idiot is right? What if he can see if everything Reiji has said is correct.
"Very well. I guess I can entertain you for a bit."
He talked about his time before he was scouted for QUARTET NIGHT. He then rambled about random things like what he thinks of certain movies or idols. Reiji quickly added into the conversation and in no time, they talked for hours. Ai seemed to have lost track since the plane has already landed.
"Oh I see that we are already here." Ai said, looking out of the window and seeing the night sky. "I guess that ends our chat."
"You're talking as if we cannot have another conversation like this again, Ai-Ai! If you have anything on your mind, you can always talk to me about it!" Reiji winked at the robot.
"Anything... on my mind?" Ai tilted his head.
"Mhm! Anything you want to talk about!"
"Then if I may... for the ride home, can we... talk some more?" Ai asked calmly. "Everything you talked about was... interesting. Even if they provide no benefit to my knowledge."
"You wound me! Everything I say is valuable!" Reiji whined. As they headed for the exit. Ai secretly let out a small smile.
"You might be correct there."
The way back was quick, since Ai kept slipping in and out of consciousness due to his battery running low. He still wanted to talk, thinking he can at least stay awake a little longer.
"Mikaze, you should rest." Camus said, noticing Ai's power going down. "You've been active the whole flight. The ride home is an hour long, you should rest until then."
Ai knew that he was running out of battery and should be in "sleep mode" to prevent shutting down.
"Y-Yes I do feel a little sleepy." He agreed. He then felt something warm around him. He looked up at Reiji and saw him wrapping him up in a blanket.
"I don't need a blanket."
"You're going to catch a cold!"
"I don't catch colds." Ai responded. "I am a robot, but you don't need to know that about me."
"You never know! I insist! Also you can lean on my shoulder if you want!"
"...very well then." He placed his head on the older man's shoulder before going into sleep mode.
"Good night, Ai-Ai."
XxXx
"I wonder why he never asked for it back..." Ai wondered, getting up to lay down on his bed. Wrapping himself in the blanket, he thought back to the car ride home where Reiji offered him his blanket he used for the flight. As old as the memory was, he can still remember the warmth of Reiji when Ai rested on his shoulder.
"So warm... ha..." Ai dozed off before he heard a knock on the door, snapping him back to reality. Opening the door, he saw the one and only Reiji did that standing outside his door.
"R-Reiji? What are you doing here?" The android stammered.
"Hey Ai-Ai! I was just wondering if you're busy, but I'm also wondering why are you all red?"
"R-Red?" He flushes. "That's absurd! I don't blush!"
"You are now~!" The older man winked. "What are you thinking about?"
Ai coughed, cheeks fading to a slight pink. "If there isn't anything to talk about, I suggest you leave."
"Awe! You're being mean to me again! And here I was gonna ask you out on a date!"
"H-Huh? I refuse!"
"Okay okay! That was a joke! I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out!" Reiji clapped his hands together. "Please!"
Ai crossed his arms and sighed. "You can come in."
Reiji's eyes lit up. He quickly ran in and sat down on the bed with Ai following after shortly.
They spent an hour talking while they were watching a cringey Japanese drama about a girl in love with a guy. Ai was invested while Reiji was laughing the entire time.
"That's interesting. Why would someone have feelings for someone that cold?" Ai asked, pulling his (actually Reiji's) blanket off of him.
"Well, because she knows that he may be hard to deal with, but deep down he means well. She knows that he's a really caring person." Reiji responded.
"I don't understand."
"Its like me enjoying your company." He looked at Ai. "You may come off as cold, but I know that youre actually a sweet person!"
Ai's cheeks turned pink as a small smile formed on his face. "I-I see."
"Ai, are you smiling?"
"Hm? Oh, I guess I am."
"You should! You look better that way!"
"I... look better?" Ai played with his hair. Reiji nodded and patted his head.
"I mean, you always look good, but with a smile, it increases it by a lot."
Reiji thinks I look good. Why does that make me feel warm? Ai thought to himself as he scooted closer to Reiji. Reiji looked over to him with a look of confusion.
"You're pretty close. Are you cold or something? You shouldn't have removed the blanket."
"I-It seems like I have crossed your boundaries. My apologies." Ai fried to move away, but Reiji tosses the blanket over his head and pulled him closer to him.
"If you need something, don't be afraid to ask. You can always lean on me." The older man grinned. Ai was thankful he wasn't looking at him, because he is pretty sure he's heating up.
"I don't understand why you would do that for me..."
"Because you're special to me, Ai-Ai." Reiji ruffled his hair before turning back to the drama. "Oh look! He's finally softening up. Not cold anymore eh?"
Once it got late. Ai waved goodbye to Reiji before closing the door and collapsing to the floor.
What was that? Why couldn't I pay attention to the movie? The entire time I felt hot and I felt my system crashing... is there something wrong with my system? Ai places a hand over his chest.
"I should make time to go to the lab tomorrow." He said to himself before cleaning up and heading to bed.
That night, he dreamed he was standing over a mirror. His hair was a mess, his eyes were soaking wet, and he saw a syringe in his hand. He analyzed his surroundings and concluded that he was in the lab, but he couldn't understand why he looks like a mess. His reflection then started smiling through his tears and said, "You look better when you smile..."
Ai shot up out of bed only to have it be 3 am.
"What was that? A dream? I shouldn't be capable of such a strange human feature." The android stared at his hands.
After running a quick scan, he concluded that he is fine. He wraps the green blanket around him and stood up to go to the bathroom. After staring in it, he concluded that whatever he saw wasn't real and should be forgotten. His hair was messy yes, but he has not been crying.
"I'm incapable of such an emotion, but then... why was I experiencing joy earlier this evening?" He thought to himself.
You look better when you smile... he remembered the dream version of him saying. He also remembered Reiji mentioning that he looked better smiling. He then smiled in front of the mirror while trying out different poses.
"Does he think... this looks nice?" He placed a hand on his cheek and forced a grin before realizing that he looks silly. It's 3 am, his hair is a mess, and he's practicing his smiling in front of a mirror because some idiot said he would look good. Sighing, he turned off the lights and headed back to bed.
The next day he headed to the lab to ask the professor about his recent emotions. After knocking on the door a few times, the professor opened the door with a surprised look.
"Oh, Ai. I didn't expect to see you here, but I'm glad I did. Do come in." He stepped back to let the android in.
"I think I need a diagnosis check. Something is wrong with me." Ai said quickly.
"Is that so? Please, go into detail."
Ai paused for a moment. "I-I don't know why but... lately I've been feeling off. There is this guy in my group who I've recently started talking to more than often. Every time I'm around him, these weird emotions start to happen and I just feel a rush of emotions all at once to the point I can't identify any of them. They feel nice, but they also create problems for me." He finished talking and sat down in a chair. "So I think I broke something and I need to get it fixed."
The professor went silent for a moment before laughing. "Wow, you guys really do share a connection huh? Seems like something he would say."
Ai tilted his head. "I don't understand who you're talking about."
"Come with me." Ai was led to a different room in the house where he was always forbidden to go into.
"Ai, it's about time you've met Aine. He's a human who you're modeled after." The door was opened and in a white bed sat a boy who looked the same as Ai except scrawny. His hair was down past his shoulders and he looked exhausted. He turned his head and looked back at Ai before smiling.
"I've heard about you, Ai Mikaze."
Ai was shocked. Everything was happening way too fast for his liking. He couldn't form words, couldn't move, and couldn't think.
Aine looked up at the professor. "Uncle, do you think you can leave us alone right now? I want to get to know him more."
"Aine, I'm not sure that's a good idea. You just woke up last night and the amount of shock could damage Ai..."
"He will be fine. I will call if anything does go wrong."
"If you say so... and also... welcome back." His uncle smiled softly before walking away and shutting the door.
Am I being replaced? Is my function worthless now? Ai thought, staring back at the man who can obviously not get up on his own.
"Ai... come here..." he held out his hand to beckon him over. Ai slowly making his way over to him. Aine took his hand and pulled him closer into a hug.
"I can hear your heart beating... you were so loud that it woke me up." Aine said softly.
The robot was puzzled. "I don't have a 'heart beat.' I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes you do. There were times where I was struck with an overwhelming sense of emotions from you. Fear, joy, embarrassment, and curiosity. They all felt so strong."
"Are those what I'm feeling?"
"Perhaps. Or they could be mine, considering that you are me."
Ai placed a hand on his chest. "I get struck by emotions every time I encounter a man named Reiji Kotobuki... are these your emotions?"
Aine blushed. "A-Are you saying you're in love with him?"
It was Ai's turn to blush. "M-Me in love with a buffoon? I thought these were your emotions!"
"We were always close. I though of him as amazing but I never thought I would have feeling for him. I don't remember much because of my coma, but I do remember always trying to catch his attention." Aine smiled to himself. "And the way he smiles always made me want to look away in embarrassment. Gosh, I'm such a loser."
Something ached inside Ai. "The two of us spent a lot of time together. We watched dramas yesterday." The robot said, questioning his own emotions.
"Oh really? We did that all the time." Aine laughed. "He really hasn't changed."
I thought that was something only we did together... Ai thought to himself before getting up.
"If you loved him so badly why doesn't he know that you were in a coma?"
Aine's face darkened. "I was in a dark place. I just happened to be in the wrong place to make an impulsive decision. I felt like no one was there for me, so I thought if I threw myself away, no one would even care. I tried to drown myself is what I'm getting at."
"You were depressed?"
"Yes. I remember that night that I tried calling Reiji, but he never responded, so I talked myself into thinking that not even he cares." Aine suddenly perked up. "I know! Maybe I can see if I can send him messages! You can give me his number and I can surprise him later today. I wish he could visit, but Uncle says that I can't see anyone yet until I'm a little better."
"I can't do that!" Ai nearly shouted, meeting with a surprised Aine. Ai quickly covered his mouth and stammered, "U-Uhm we need to get ready for our next album, so it would be too shocking for him to take in all this." He wasn't lying. He just needed to sound reasonable to make up for that small emotional outburst.
"Oh! But aren't you guys on break right now? That's a perfect time to catch up with him."
"...you are right." Ai admitted. "Very well."
"Oh thank you, Ai! You're the coolest robot ever!" Aine hugged him. Ai stood motionless, but he accepted the hug nonetheless.
Robot... is that all I am to everyone?
Ai finished his conversation before getting a quick checkup and leaving. Once he arrived back to the mansion, he was greeted by Reiji.
"Ai-Ai! Glad to see ya home!" He grinned. Usually, Ai would ignore him and walk past, but instead he smiled back.
"Glad to be home." Ai then remembered that Aine was supposed to call Reiji later today and catch up, but for some reason that didn't sit too well with Ai.
"Is something troubling you?" Reiji placed his hands on Ai's shoulders.
"C-Can we talk? In your room?" Ai fidgeted with his hands, avoiding eye contact with Reiji.
"Sure thing! Anything for Ai-Ai!" Reiji started walking to his room with Ai following after him. Once they got inside, Ai sat down on the bed and finally looked at Reiji.
"Reiji, what do you think about me?"
"Huh? This is sudden! Are you confessing your love to me or something?"
"Answer my question. What are your thoughts on my presence?" Ai said a little louder.
"I think you're a great guy! I really enjoyed our time together. I really, really like you! I thought you would know that of all people."
"That... makes me happy." Ai smiled a little and placed his hand over his heart. "Very happy."
"Was there a chance you knew this, but doubted yourself?"
Because I don't want you to leave me. My purpose here is coming to an end.
"Yes. It was just doubt. Sorry for my outburst." Ai turned around to leave.
"Wait!" Reiji grabbed his shoulder. "Just remember, I'm always here for you. You, Ran-Ran, and Myu. I love you guys!"
Why do I feel uncomfortable in my chest? It could be because this treatment isn't exclusive to me. It might have been better if I was the only person.
"In that case, can I... stay here longer?" Ai turned around. "We still haven't finished that drama after all..."
"Hm? You're still interested even though the show is not even good?"
"It has its own charm!" Ai argued. "That girl is actually starting to realize that she needs to fight back in order to be with her boyfriend without getting harassed at school!"
Reiji chuckled. "Does that mean Ai-Ai likes teen romances?"
"N-No! I just wanted to analyze how a typical romance drama plays out!" He defended himself.
"You just said it had it own charm did you not?" Reiji teased, leaning in closer.
"I have nothing more to say to you! Just put on the show already!" The robot was blushing with a small pout on his face.
"Alright, no need to get feisty." Reiji poked his nose before going to turn on their drama, leaving Ai a blushing mess as he follows him to the couch. Once the show is on, Ai sat close to him to the point their shoulders were touching which made Reiji uncomfortable to the point he stretched his arm and
wrapped it around Ai.
"Sorry, if you're so cold, it's best if it's like this. It got uncomfortable earlier." He sighed. "Is this awkward for you?"
"N-No it's perfectly fine! I feel comfortable like this!" A lie. A really bad lie, but for some reason, the idiot bought it.
"Alright then! Let's see if our heroine can finally fight back against her rivals!"
"Mhm." Ai nodded.
There is one problem, I feel like I'm overheating! I can hardly concentrate on what's happening.
Hours passed and it is now nightfall. Ai could hardly comprehend that happened the entire time. Something about the guy coming to her rescue because she got milk poured on her head. At the end, the finally kissed for a long time with the girl was crying. He said she smelt like milk which made Reiji chuckle.
"Are kisses usually like that? I feel like it's nothing but a sign of affection." Ai said.
"Hey! Don't say that! They don't look like that in a normal person's eyes but to the lovers, it feels so magical.
"Have you ever kissed someone?" Ai looked at the older man.
"Yea, a while back. It was this girl I went to Shining Academy with. It was on a dare though, but she said I was a good kisser."
"I don't buy it." Ai argued. "You seem like a bad kisser."
"Why you wanna find out?" He smirked as he leaned in towards Ai. Ai felt like he just shrunk. He had no words to say and no idea what to do.
"I-I..."
"Here. Watch this." Reiji poked his forehead before getting up and going to his fridge to grab a cherry.
Finding one, he picked off the stem and placed it in his mouth. He ran back to the couch and sat in front of Ai. He opened his mouth and showed off a tight stem.
I thought you were going to kiss me! I'm about to malfunction again! Ai was blushing a little as he stuttered. "T-That is really impressive..."
"Here, you try it!"
"N-No! I refuse to be involved in such idiotic- mmph!" The stem was in his mouth. He shot Reiji a glare before attempting to tie the stem. A few moments passed and Ai stuck out his tongue a loose knot. It held for a few seconds before coming undone and flying off his tongue and onto the floor.
"Ahahaha! You should have seen the look on your face! Priceless!" Reiji laughed, gripping his stomach.
"I want a redo. I almost had it."
"You're probably a better kisser than you think. You just never kissed anyone." Reiji winked.
"I want the knot to be perfect. Get me another stem."
"Okay fine! I'll give you a second try." He got up to get another one.
As Reiji went back into the kitchen. Ai heard his phone go off. Snooping, he picked up his phone and saw the number: Aine Kisaragi.
"Hey, Ai-Ai! Who's calling?" Reiji shouted from the kitchen. Ai froze up. If he tells the truth, Reiji would run back in, answer the phone, and will get all emotional to the point Ai would have to leave his room to give him a moment. They would spend more time after that without Ai having at least one more night with him.
I'm sorry, but you can try again later. Ai pressed decline.
"I think it's just a spam call!" Ai shouted back. "Don't worry I declined it!"
Reiji came back in the room, a bowl of cherries in his hand. "Oh really? Well, if they really want to get a hold of me, they can call back later!"
"Yes, but for now, let's just enjoy each other's company." Ai popped a cherry in his mouth and spat the seed out, swallowing the fruit and later tying the stem in his mouth. He stuck his tongue out to show a perfectly tied stem.
"Oh! You actually did it! The first time you messed up could be because you're inexperienced, but with a little practice, you will be amazing!"
"Do you just think about this in your free time?" Ai threw the stem at him, causing Reiji to laugh and throw it off of him.
"Ew! I don't want Ai-Ai's germs!"
"And I don't want to listen to your crazy kissing theories." Ai replied, hitting the older male with a pillow.
Reiji fixed his hair from the impact. "Are you trying to start something?"
"No. I just figures that hitting you with a pillow would be the best method to shut-" The younger idol got hit in the face with a pillow.
"That's what you get for testing me." Reiji grinned. Ai narrowed his eyes before picking up another pillow.
"Oh, so Ai-Ai wants to fight me?"
"I believe that if I hit you enough times, you will finally be quiet." Ai said simply, holding his pillow over his head.
"You're on."
They ended up spending five minutes fighting each other with pillow until Reiji fell over. Ai stood above him and hit him repeatedly with a green pillow. Reiji smirked and tripped Ai from under him, causing the robot to fall on his bottom. Reiji then tackled him and pinned Ai's arms down next to his head.
"Hey! I thought we were't going to wrestle!" Ai protested.
"We never established rules now, did we?" Reiji smirked.
"I...heh... you're right. We never did." Ai smiled a little before chuckling a little. "I can't believe I didn't see that coming..."
"Why are you laughing? I won fair and square." Reiji noticed Ai starting to laugh. "A-Are you laughing?"
"Ahahaha! You're such an idiot! I-I can't believe you sometimes!" Tears were forming in his eyes. "Kotobuki Reiji, pinning me to the ground during a pillow fight- ahaha! I didn't even think of such a childish tactic!"
"It wasn't that funny."
"Heheheh- ahahaha!"
Reiji got off of Ai. "Wow... I didn't know you were capable of laughing."
Ai calmed down a little. "I don't think I've ever laughed so hard before, or ever."
"I can tell. You're crying."
"Crying...?" Ai wiped his eye and detected water. He never knew he was capable of tears. Then again, he never felt like crying before. It could be because of Reiji making him feel all sorts of emotions in his chest. "Could it be because... I find you amusing?"
"You're speaking as if I'm never funny." Reiji pouted.
"Probably not in the past, but for some reason now, I think that you are hilarious."
"Maybe you have a sense of humor now."
"Maybe you actually don't tell lame jokes." Ai smiled.
"Maybe so, but at least I'm making you smile more. I love it when you smile and laugh. It brings out a great side of you."
Ai blushed a little before playing with his hair. "Does it make me look... more attractive?"
"Hm? What kind of question is that?"
"I-I was just curious. Don't get the wrong idea!"
"Well, if you want my honest opinion, you were already a looker before you stared smiling, but now... it makes you seem approachable and it brings out the kindness in your voice."
"I see. If I remain like this, w-would..."
The phone rang again. Ai looked over and saw Reiji's phone on the table. He picked it up and saw the number: Aine again.
"Is it that caller again?"
"Don't worry about them." I'll block them for you.
"H-Hey! Shouldn't we give it a listen first?"
"B-But aren't we hanging out?" Don't do it.
"Ai, hand me the phone." Reiji's voice lost all the playfulness in it. It was casual and slightly impatient.
"I-It's about time I get going anyways. It's late after all." Ai shoved his phone into his hands before running out, leaving a confused Reiji on the floor.
Ai returned to his room, slamming the door behind him and leaning up against the wall. That was stupid. Why did he get all controlling and demanding of Reiji for moment? It doesn't matter to him anymore. Right now, Reiji should be all emotional and chatty. It shouldn't bother Ai. They were always close. It's only natural for them to hit it off again. Besides... he was nothing but a replacement anyways. A robot made only to replace the real thing. His face, look, and tone isn't original. It was copied. Knowing this fact, Ai made his way to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror.
"I am modeled after him. sculpted right down to the nose." He reached for his ponytail and undid it, letting it fall to his shoulders. His eyes widened at the shock.
He was Aine. Everything is perfect. He looks exactly like him. Ai stumbled back and hit the wall, grabbing fistfuls of his hair.
"Hah... This is his face. This is all his." He then remembered Reiji saying, "You look better when you smile."
"Was he really just referring to Kisaragi and not me?"
"You seem approachable and it brings out the kindness in your voice."
That's because Aine was approachable for you.
"I love it when you smile and laugh. It brings out a great side of you."
And who's side was it exactly?
"You look better when you smile."
That wasn't for me!
Ai reached for a pair of scissors and pointed the sharp end at his reflection, stopping right before it touched the glass.
"No... I must control my temper. It's just a bunch of complex emotions I shouldn't have to experience. I am a robot. My function is to be an idol. I may have been modeled after someone, but that doesn't make my purpose any more significant." He placed the scissors down and picked up a brush and began tying his hair up again to his original style. It looks a little sloppy, but Ai doesn't care at this point. He placed the brush down and went back into his bedroom while muttering to himself,
"If I'm hurting, it's not my pain. If I get replaced, it's because I'm broken, and if Aine wants someone I hold dear... I step aside. I am Ai. I am a robot, not a human. I..." He started losing consciousness.
"...I am incapable of emotions."
XxXxXx
To be continued...
Stay tuned for Part 2!