Author's Notes: Another look at Yui and Nakago, this time very pointedly a could-have-been-romantic look. Though, don't worry, nothing actually romantic occurs. More a possiblity of what-if. Could be out of character, depending on your intepretation.

Warnings: Semi-adult themes.

Spoilers: Egh...random episodes, couldn't really label them all. Oh, and some mild ones for Seiran Den.

Obligatory Disclaimer: I own no part of Fushigi Yuugi or any of its characters.

There Are Echoes


"Do you love her?"
Nakago turned the corner, running the phrase through his mind over and over again. Of all the people to question his affections for Soi, his priestess was the last of whom he had considered. The girl usually spent her time sulking in her room or with him. Whatever the situation, he had never thought she would have noticed the numerous times Soi could be seen leaving his chamber in the morning.
But he had underestimated the priestess' abilities of observation, a note which he carefully placed in the back of his mind for future use and reference. If she were clever enough to pick up on the activities of the other warriors, she could very easily decipher his true objective in dealing with her.
But it was the question, not the fear of dawning, that haunted him that afternoon.
"Do you love her?"
She had asked them as he met her in the hallways, while Soi had been departing from his presence. Yui had raised no voice in inquiry at first, but her eyes had followed Soi's retreating figure with an eyebrow raised, and later, when they had stood at the precipe of revelation, that she had, metaphorically speaking, fired the poison arrow.
Damn women and their questions. Even he, a mastermind of human emotions and motivation, could hardly understand them sometimes. Soi would occasionally surprise him by intuitively avoiding him when he was unsettled or angry over a mishap in calculations, and the priestess...right now, he really didn't know what to make of her.
But he would be damned before admitting that to anyone.
"Do you love her?"
Nakago breathed deeply and leaned against the wall, pressing his hands against the cool stone. Of course he didn't love her; Nakago didn't love anyone. But why would his priestess ask such a question in the first place?
Why would she...care?
A momentary flash of frustration passed through him, and he kicked the wall angrily, grunting as he did. Damn Lady Yui and her questions. When would she finally tire of the game and get to what she really wanted?
Could you love me?
That's what you were really asking, wasn't it priestess? That's what you truly desire, he thought now with a mild sneer. So foolish and young the girl was, grasping for something she would never be able to hold. Like water and sand falling through open fingers.
Nakago sighed, pressing a hand against his temples. Consumed by thought, he had unknowingly wondered back to a place of his past, one which he had never hoped to face again.
"Why," he asked now to a deserted hallway, "Why is it that every dilemma leads me back to this point?"
The hallway before him was dark and dank from misuse, much because of his own doing. Once he had established his place as shogun of Kutou, he had "persuaded" the emperor into closing off this wing of the palace and shifting its purpose to another quarter of the building. He had done so in an attempt to severe all ties to his past, so he could he move on without hindrance.
Then again, any effort to dispel memories of pain were futile--he had already established himself as the murderer of both of his parents in his struggle to power.
He viciously repressed the memory of the dying man's eyes from his mind as he slowly rounded the corner into the main part of the building. It was ridiculously dark there, illuminated only by the far light of the torch at the other end of the hall.
Stupid, he scolded himself, This is foolish. Why are you here?
He couldn't answer that any easier than he could understand Yui's intent.
His footfalls could be heard echoing throughout the hallway as he reluctantly continued his journey through the darkened eves of the old palace, the shadows playing over his features. Though there was only one man, one set of feet, his ears heard two sets of footsteps, one of a child's and that of an older man.
A terrible man.
"I saved your life, aren't you going to repay me?"
A shudder ran through his body, and Nakago suddenly halted, pressing up against the wall as a cold sweat broke out over his body. Oh, he remembered the hallway well enough, too well.
The echoes were always too loud for the memories to fade.
Do you love her? Could you love me?
"Damn you all," he hissed between breaths, "Damn you for resurrecting the past."
Reclining, he closed his eyes and slowed his breathing. No need for a show of open hysteria--of weakness--in front of anyone who could happen by. Tension was running high among the other warriors due to Amiboshi's death, as was the others' distrust of Nakago's credibility; the last thing he needed to do was give them a reason to lose respect for him.
Weak, he told himself angrily, You're so pathetic sometimes. His hands clenched into tighter fists. So goddamned pathetic.
Several moments of heavy silence passed before he was able to unclench his fists and relax, shoulders dropping to his sides as the tension was released from the taunt muscles, eyes fluttering open.
And it was only when he relaxed that he heard the echo of footsteps coming his way.
Eyes pricking at the sound of an intruder, Nakago turned and strained his hearing. The footfalls were too light to be of a man's, and there weren't any courtesans or maids who were allowed to wonder the palace floors...
His breath caught in his throat as the mysterious figure rounded the corner and into his view. Squashing his surprise, he quickly replaced his expression with the usual apathetic one before speaking. "Lady Yui."
The girl regarded him with a surprising coolness. "Nakago."
"I thought I asked you to remain in the western wing of the palace unless I was with you. Priestess or not, there are many dangers here." He took a step closer. "Not all the men here care that you are the one to summon Seiryuu."
The cruel comment struck its heart, and expectedly, a shudder ran through Yui's frame, and she cringed slightly. To his surprise, she answered with a strong but wavering voice, "I can take care of myself. Besides, as the priestess, I think it's my right to walk around every so often, wouldn't you say?"
She was playing him. He could hear it. Nakago bit back anger, answering tersely, "Yes, Lady Yui, but the danger remains."
"There are plenty of people who would have helped me otherwise," she answered evenly, "Besides, I wanted to speak with you."
"Yes?"
Yui took a deep breath, aware that what she about to ask would bring her relationship with Nakago on a new level. Despite such knowledge, she knew she had to ask. No longer could she wallow in ignorance. The war with Miaka and her warriors had heated with the death of Amiboshi and the now-planned trips to gather the shinzahous. Now it was imperative that she understand what Nakago was doing and why.
"Why did you send Amiboshi to Konan?"
"To interrupt the ceremony," he answered shortly, "I had expected him to do so and return. I did not concern myself with the possibility that he would be killed."
"I don't believe you."
Nakago blinked, stepped back, blinked again, then went back to his normal expression. "What?"
Yui hid a smile. So her question had surprised him; perhaps Nakago had underestimated her this time around. Or maybe you caught him at a bad time, a little voice said, He did seem upset after you asked him about Soi this morning. Shaking her head of idle thoughts and clearing her throat, Yui replied, "I mean I don't believe you. Suboshi told me that the Suzaku killed Amiboshi in cold blood, but why would they do that? I know Tamahome would never hurt someone unless they harmed someone he cared about first!" She paused, then her voice grew softer. "Nakago, why did you really send Amiboshi to Konan. It wasn't just to interrupt the ceremony, was it?"
Nakago sighed, then clenched a fist, before giving in and answering. "Amiboshi's powers lie in the realm of energy manipulation, much like my own. He can use them to heal or give energy, but through the use of his flute, he can also create energy vibrations that can disrupt bodily operations and...kill."
She gasped and stepped away from him. "You sent him there to kill the Suzaku warriors?"
"Yes, isn't that you wanted?"
"Even Miaka?" she whispered.
"That girl betrayed you," he answered mechanically, "You said she deserved to suffer."
"Yes, but-"
"But what, Lady Yui? What else could I do to possibly keep her from summoning Suzaku and bringing joy into her life? What would have you have had she been able to summon Suzaku? Most likely one of her wishes would have been to seal Seiryuu or to wish you back to being her friend against your will. What would you have done, Lady Yui, if she made a wish that simply made you as ignorant and unknowing of her true nature in the first place?"
"I-I...I don't know," Yui finally admitted in a hoarse whisper.
"So you see, I was forced to take desperate measures. Suzaku's warriors were about to find their last comrade while one of our own was still missing. I had no other choice."
"I understand, Nakago, but are such violent measures necessary?"
Another cold look was sent her way. "This is war, Priestess of Seiryuu, and we serve the god of war. It is the only way."
Yui nodded wordlessly, but pressed herself reassuringly up against the cold of the stone wall, suddenly feeling weak. Exactly what type of deadly situation had she gotten herself into? Hate, war, betrayal...She had never known any of it until now. How she cursed the day she had turned the page of that damned book.
Several moment of pregnant silence rested heavily on both their souls as both returned to their own thoughts. Yui and her fears. Nakago with his memories.
Presently, the shogun lifted his eyes and turned a hard gaze at the wall opposite of him. "Why did you inquire about my feelings for Soi?"
Yui blinked at the sudden, abrupt question, turning to face Nakago, who did not return her stare. "I...I was just curious. You always have her by your side when your planning mission, and she always seems to support you, not to mention that she's always with you at night..." Yui trailed off, a bright blush covering her features at the last statement. She paused, recovering, before asking softly, "Do you? Do you love her?"
Nakago clenched a fist. "Is that really any of your concern, Lady Yui?"
Hiding a disapointed look, Yui turned away. "No, I don't suppose it is."
Something in her voice captured his senses, and he turned at her, studying her features. The blush was still there, though fading, her eyes downcast, eyes carrying a heavy look...Damn her. What do you want from me priestess? Why are trying to turn the tables to your advantage?
Turning away, he went back to his silent sentry of the wall. "No," he finally answered.
Yui's head snapped up, surprised. "What?"
"You asked me if I loved her. The answer is no. She loves me, and she gives her body to me in order to raise my powers, but I do not reciprocate her affections. I cannot love her," he paused before adding as an afterthought, "I will not love her."
"Why?" Yui probed.
Nakago threw her yet another cold, somewhat angry gaze before sighing. "Now that, my priestess, truly is none of your concern."
Knowing that she had reached the breadth of questioning, Yui nodded. "I understand."
Again they lapsed into silence, the darkness of the hallway. Presently, Yui realized just how far they were from the inhabited parts of the palace. There were barely any lights here, and the carpet was worn, faded beyond repair. There were no paintings on the walls, no scattered pieces of gold or silver or sapphire decorating that walls that she had grown used to as charactertic of the emperor's palace. With this mind, she wondered why they were there.
"Nakago," she said casually, "Why are you here?"
"What do you mean?" he asked, rousing himself.
"In this hallway. Why would you need to come here?"
Quite the observant one, aren't you priestess? The sounds of rustling cloth and armor clanging echoed throughout the hallway as Nakago assembled himself, bringing to bear his full height and authority. "Is that any of your concern--"
"Yes, it is," Yui broke in harshly, "I want to know why you left my side." She stopped, then said with a sorrowful and quiet smile, "You're the only one I can trust anymore. What am I if my only protector isn't there with me?"
Eyeing her, he turned to the hallway suddenly. Her words struck a cord within him, reminding him of things long past. He was no different than her, having grown up in a cruel world with only one protector. And then, when he had needed the support of that protector that most, he had...killed her. Nakago shut his eyes, leaning against the wall. Could he blame Yui for her fears?
"Nakago?"
Her voice returned him to reality. Reaching out on arm, he made a grand gesture. "This," he said, "this place called to me today. I was asked to record the memory of what happened." He glanced at her, then took a few steps closer to her. "There are echoes here, Lady Yui, echoes of things come and gone, never to return again."
"What kind of echoes?" Yui breathed.
"Sorrowful ones. Loud ones." He winced at his own words. "They sound throughout the walkway and through my mind each time I come past here. I hear them with my ears and in places human hands can't reach anymore. They are lost, these ecohes, searching for a pathway home."
Yui tilted her head slightly, gazing in interest. "Who made them? Who made these echoes that are so loud?"
Nakago clenched his fists tightly, preparing himself. Why are you doing this? She doesn't need to know this!
But she did.
"Fourteen years ago, a little boy was brought to the palace of Konan. He was brought here because he was special, because the emperor had use for him. The little boy, not knowing what the man was truly like, trusted them at first because he believed that everything terrible that could possibly happen to him already had occured." The fist clenched tighter. "But he was wrong. The man took the little boy and twisted and tortured him until he knew nothing of love anymore, until he could no longer love and knew only of hate. Of revenge."
Yui looked at him in horror. "Oh my...oh my god...how could you? What happened to him?"
"They killed him," he answered curtly, "But then, he had already been dead. They had murdered his entire family before taking him to the palace." Nakago closed his eyes, and clenched his fists until they hurt, until they bled true, red crimson. How the memories hurt could consume him as they did, he would never understand.
The shogun twitched in surprise as a small hand covered his own. Whirling around, he faced Yui, who looked up at him with horrified, tearful eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
He looked down at her in shock. "What?"
"I'm sorry," she said again, "I'm sorry about what happened."
Do you know priestess? Do you know that I was that little boy whom the emperor killed? Damn you...
Holding his hand, she stepped closer. "I'm sorry that you were called to hear such horrible things."
No, no you don't.
Yui shuddered. "That poor little boy. At least...at least he's escaped his misery now, hasn't he?
Nakago forced a small, empty smile. "Yes, I suppose he is."
Yui suddenly looked down at the hand she was holding. "You're bleeding!"
"It's nothing," he replied simply, but he didn't let go of her hand.
The shadows of the halls played over their features, covering them in the darkness of memories and times past. The roar of the torchlight could be heard faintly in the distance, and their own soft breathing could be heard as well. But above it all, the echoes grew louder and louder, smothering and consuming them.
Amidst the ruins of his life, above the tumbling sea of emotions and terrible roar of the echoes, Nakago's eyes met Yui's, and for a moment, the briefest of moments, his hand tightened around hers tenderly as he drowned in her ocean of emerald green.
Could you love me?
No.
He pulled away suddenly, turning away from her. "We should get going priestess. It's getting late, and the dinner bell should ring soon."
Yui nodded faintly, following his lead as they slowly walked down the hall. His touch lingered on her skin, and his voice echoed in her ears.
He knew nothing of love anymore...
She shuddered, clenching the hand he had held for that moment in time. Who was it, Nakago? Who was that little boy whose echoes you hear so clearly even now?
Hurriedly, she left the hallway, running to catch up with Nakago's long strides, hurrying to leave this place of echoes and past regrets.
Were you that little boy?
They're footsteps made new echoes in the already too loud halls. The roar of voices and footsteps reverberated throughout the chamber, permeating the hearts and minds of all men.
But one echo came above them all, sad and twisted in its forlorn melody, sorrowful and cruel in its tune.
Could you love me?



Final Notes From the Author:

I'm sure your all wondering what the hell was going through my mind when I wrote this story. Well, it came to my realization a few days ago that Nakago and Yui aren't all the different. In fact, had they met under different circumstances (and if alot of stuff hadn't happened to Nakkie) I could very well see them attracted to one another intellectually.
I do not support Nakago/Yui pairings. I can't really see it happening in the universe as we know it. However, I can't deny certain similarities and parallels either.
For the few references that you may not understand here: The reference to Nakago killing both parents is true. Nakago's father turned out to be the shogun of Kutou, but Nakago had already struck the killing blow before this was revealed. Nakago also, if you don't know by now, killed his mother when his powers appeared out of rage. A sad, but true reality. And of course, the reference to the emperor are the rapings.
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you!