A/N: So this is actually the first M7 fic I started to write, like a year ago now. It was supposed to be a giant outline, so as to encourage me to actually finish something, but as I described the scenes I would find myself writing them, sometimes without even realizing it (which led to some really weird transition points to smooth out, let me tell you). It had become a giant mess, notes and timelines and character descriptions, some scenes in the wrong spot, or no longer working as the plot changed, to the point that it pained me to look at it. So I started pulling out the scenes I deemed finished, and realized that except for a few scenes that needed to be rewritten, a few scenes I'd intended that were never written, I had a good fifty pages of unbroken story, and another eighty that were ripe to be developed.

So I decided to share it with you. I'll be updating it once a week, the first five chapters are already done, but I don't want to catch up to it. Don't worry, I will not be abandoning Official Transfer, at this point I want to know what happens next as bad as you.

Of course the person who developed the Brothers AU is Rebecca. Her Reading of the Will series is fantastic, while you can no longer get them online the files are still being passed around cyberspace. (If anyone wants copies I will gladly send them to you, but my copies have the ends, generally just the last word or so, of quite a few sentences cut off, so if anyone has copies where that doesn't happen, I would also be super stoked. )Phyllis on Blackraptor also has a really enjoyable version, and Sue M has a lot of stories that are set in the same universe.

This was also where I got the idea for a younger Ezra in the first place, so expect that. Actually all the guys are younger, but he is the only one in different birth order.

My Mag 7 brothers AU

Starts at beginning of September 2016

Josiah-39, 40 in March

Chris-33 in November

Buck- 31

Hannah 29

Nathan-27

Vin-23

Ezra-19, 20 in March

JD-17

*.*.*.*.*.*

Josiah chatted casually with the woman in front of him in line, the two having discovered they would be seated next to each other for their flight as they waited for it to be their turn to board the plane, grateful for the distraction from his nerves. "So, what's in Nevada for you? You don't seem like the Reno type."

Josiah laughed wryly, "No, I suppose not," his hand moving to stroke the heavy cross hanging at his neck, "But I have to admit, it's been some time since I was a man of the cloth. That's just a layover for me, I'm heading for a tiny ranching town in Arizona, called Four Corners."

"Can't say I've heard of it."

"I'd be a lot more surprised if you had. I've got family there, my father and brothers." His face grew solemn, and his new friend eyed him with a mixture of sympathy and curiosity. There was a story here, that was plain to see.

"Sounds like you're looking forward to seeing them, been a while?"

"You could say that." Josiah took a deep breath, "Seventeen years." She blinked at him, not sure what to say, but knowing she had to say something.

"Oh, wow. That…is a long time."

"And a long story. Where are you headed Rene; seeing family yourself?" Josiah wasn't sure why he'd told her even that much, and sure wasn't about to explain the details.

Seeing that he wasn't going to share more, she shook her head, "No, I'm headed to a medical conference, I'm a nurse."

"My stepmother was a pediatric nurse. Where do you work out of?" The two continued to chat for a few minutes when Josiah's phone rang, and after asking Rene to hold his place in line he stepped away to answer it.

"Hello Daddy, I'm-Chris? I, yes, yes, I'm listening." He felt like his hearing must be leaving him as he tried to understand the words, sure it couldn't be right, but it was. Josiah moved until he found a column to lean against, silent except for shaky breathing until his brother was done, "Of course I'm still coming, my flight will be there in the morning. If I'm still wel-" He was cut off there, wincing and then nodding at what was said, "No, don't worry about getting me, I can make my own way to the ranch." A deep breath, "Chris…I just…I'm so sorry Chris…tell the others?" Josiah could hear his voice breaking on the last word, Chris saying he would and hanging up quickly, voice thick with grief. He knew he should go back to his place in line, but instead Josiah felt himself sinking to the ground, leaning heavily against the pillar behind him. "What joke is this Lord? To get us both so close to the chance for forgiveness and to snatch it away?" It couldn't be real, but it was. His father was gone. Almost instantly, Chris had said. Nathan had been there, able to provide medical care, but the heart attack had been so severe he'd been all but dead by the time he hit the ground. Nothing to be done. It couldn't be real.

"Josiah?" It was Rene, hunched down next to him, concerned, "The line's moving, it's time to board."

He looked at her, meaning to say thank you and stand up, but what came out was, "My father is dead." He could read the surprise in her eyes, and then the sympathy.

"Are you still getting on the plane?"

"I need to. My brothers are expecting me." He said it, but didn't move and after a minute she reached out and took his wrist, tugging gently.

"C'mon. We'll get you on, just have to get back in line." Josiah followed her like a child, both going to the end of the line. She stayed with him, but didn't talk, and even though part of him knew he was being treated like a shocky patient he was grateful. His brain was bouncing between whirling and blank, flashing back and forth from bits of memories to devastating knowledge to…nothing. Just nothing. The nothing was at least for now preferable to the pain. Josiah knew that he had handed the boarding pass over to the ticket agent, had heard himself respond to the questions, a part of him was even vaguely grateful that they had already passed through the TSA checkpoint, but mostly he was just blindly following where he was being led. He didn't fully realize they were sitting down and awaiting take off until he saw the blinking seatbelt sign.

Later, when they'd been flying for nearly an hour, her soft hand was on his arm again, "You can tell me to shut-up and leave you the hell alone if you want, but I know when Momma died it helped to talk to people who didn't know her. Less baggage." Josiah blinked at her, and then to her surprise his eyes crinkled up just a bit and he chuckled. Hard.

Seeing her looking at him like she was worried he was going to dissolve entirely, he waved her off, "I'm sorry, I just got a picture my Daddy's face if he heard me say that to any woman, let alone someone who's been kind to me. I think he might rise up, at least long enough to drag me down with him. Doubt it would take him three days, either." Rene laughed herself now.

"I had a Granddaddy like that. Didn't matter how old you were, if you were his." Suddenly the humor was gone, and Josiah swallowed hard, nodding. He'd always known. Always known, even amid the years of anger, of what he'd wanted to be hatred, the blame he'd placed on his father for Hannah, that if he'd truly needed him it would only have taken a phone call. Because he was his. The man had been so far from perfect at times it wasn't even funny, but that didn't make it any less true. Rene didn't say anything for a few moments, letting him get his composure back, and then repeated her earlier offer. "If you want to talk about him, or anything really, I'm here to listen."

Josiah opened his mouth to say thanks, but no thanks, then reconsidered. How often would he have the opportunity to talk to someone who didn't know any of the family, had no vested interest one way or the other? No preconceived notions or ideas, no illusions at risk of shattering? Where he could spill family secrets without the risk of it coming back to haunt him? How often had he heard others confessions with no chance to share his own? It was tempting, and Josiah would be the first to admit he was not always the best at resisting temptation. He looked at Rene again, trying to gauge with his eyes whether or not it was worth it, finally deciding yes. Not knowing how else to start he began quickly, before he could talk himself out of it, "You have to understand, my Daddy was a good father to me and my brothers. I didn't stay away for seventeen years because he abused or belittled me. But he asked me to keep a secret, both my parents did, a secret that grew too big for me, and even when I told him it was, and asked for help…well, I can't say he didn't offer help, but it wasn't the help I wanted, and wasn't the help she needed..." seeing that Rene was completely at sea, as much as she was pretending not to be, Josiah cut himself off, "A storyteller should start at the beginning not the end, I'm sorry. Let's see…" Josiah closed his eyes for a long moment, gathering his thoughts.

"Mama was the daughter of a traveling missionary from Mexico, and Daddy was the son of a rancher in Four Corners. She was twenty-four when she met Daddy, and he was sixteen, though he told her he was twenty-one. Mama told me once, that she knew Daddy wasn't as old as he said, but never did she dream that a man who looked like that could be so young. Not exactly what a teenager wants to hear about his Daddy, but that was Mama. It was just a summer romance, nothing was supposed to come of it, and they both knew it."

"Somewhere in there I was conceived, but by the time Mama knew about me, she also knew Daddy was just a sixteen year old kid. She left at the end of that summer, not having said a word to him and I don't think she ever would have either. Only, six years later, when I was about five, Abuelo was doing the rounds in Arizona again, and one night this great big man walked into the tent in the middle of the service and stood in the back, watching. Mama picked me up to carry me out to bed, and I could feel his eyes on us, staring, and at first it scared me a little. Only when I turned to look at him, his face…he was looking at me like Abuelo looked at his Bible, like I was precious." His voice, quiet to begin with for this story, got even lower here, the next sentence clearly just for him, "He really did…he really, really, did."

"He moved out of the tent before we did, and was waiting outside. Mama was expecting him to be angry I think, but he wasn't, or at least not that he let me see…"

*.*.*.*.*.*

Josiah clutched at his Mama's skirts as she set him down, not scared exactly, but shy, glad for the light of the tent and Abuelo's booming voice behind him. "'Siah boy, Mama has someone she needs you to meet." The two grown-ups hadn't actually spoken yet, and he watched as the big man's Adam's apple bobbed, swallowing as though what Mama had said was much more important than it sounded. He just stared at Josiah, and for a moment he was scared, but then the man smiled, real gentle and knelt in front of him.

"Hello Josiah, it's nice to meet you." He held out his hand for Josiah to shake, and Josiah automatically took it, stepping away from Mama just a little as he did so.

"You look like me." It was true, the man's face was long, his jaw square like Josiah's was already showing itself to be. His tummy squirmed with nerves, and he realized he was still holding the man's hand, but for some reason he didn't want to let go.

The man glanced up at Mama for a second, then back at Josiah, "That's 'cause I'm your Daddy."

Josiah stared at him. He didn't have a Daddy, a Papi, he never had. Sometimes when Mama wasn't around, and Abuelo was in one of his strange, scary, moods, he'd yell at Josiah about not having a Papi, say that he'd ruined his Mama's life.

He always said sorry later, though, so Josiah didn't tell Mama. It would just make her sad.

But this man said he was Josiah's Daddy, so maybe Abuelo was wrong? Josiah didn't think he would lie to him, not on purpose. "Really? You promise?"

"I promise." The man was smiling wider now, but there were tears on his face, and Josiah wondered why he wasn't wiping them away. Didn't he know boys weren't supposed to cry? Josiah would have to tell him.

"Where've you been? Why weren't you my Daddy before?" He didn't plan to say it, but he does, loud and demanding, and he pulled his hand away, suddenly angry, and then realizing what he had done, froze, waiting for the man's face to turn cold and disapproving, but it didn't. Instead he just looked very sad, and kind of guilty, like Josiah looked when Mama caught him in the cookie jar before dinner and he didn't get to have any. Mama's hand was on his head then, smoothing his hair away from his forehead and talking gently in Spanish, so only Josiah could understand her.

"That's not his fault, baby. He didn't know about you. Mama will explain more later, but for now, just know that." Josiah nodded, not certain he understood, but he trusted his Mama when she said she would explain.

"Josiah?" Overwhelmed and tired, Josiah nodded again, but leaned back into his Mama's legs. "I'm gonna be here to be your Daddy from now on, okay? Can I, can I give you a hug?"

The little boy looked at him, part of him wanting to shake his head, to run away and hide, but...he looked nice. He'd said he was going to be his Daddy now, and Daddies had to be be nice to their kids, didn't they? The man-his Daddy-opened his arms and before he'd decided to do it Josiah launched himself into them, squeezing tight, his Daddy squeezing him back for just a second before Josiah pulled himself away just as fast, turning to Mama with his arms outstretched, needing her to pick him up. She did and he hid his face in her shoulder, feeling tears in his eyes and knowing he should hide them if he couldn't make them stop.

Later that night, as he lay in his bed in their camper, Abuelo having stormed off in a rage when Mama had refused to make his Daddy leave, he heard them talking.

"You didn't seem very surprised to see me."

"I've been half expecting it since Orin came to the meeting in Eagle Bend last week."

"Anna, why didn't you tell me? I just...I don't understand."

"Linc, you were a sixteen year old boy, little more than a child."

"Didn't stay that way for long."

A gentle laugh, some shuffling around, and a quiet, "No, no, I know you didn't. I just couldn't. Papa would probably have had a shot gun at your back by the end of the day."

"Good thing I'm already married, he can't try that now." An awkward pause, while Josiah had been trying to figure out what Abuelo's shut gun-which Mama and Abuelo had made him promise to never, ever touch, even the box in the top of the closet in his camper where Abuelo left it, because getting shot could kill you, and they both thought he was much too young to go to heaven, and did that mean Abuelo would try and kill his Daddy? He hoped not. Josiah was pretty sure he liked him.-had to do with getting married.

"Congratulations. Let me guess-Colleen Marks?"

A startled laugh, and a gravely voice saying, "Now how the heck did you know that?"

"She was a flat chested 16 year old and I was a buxom older women and I still kept catching you staring at her." His Mama was laughing with his Daddy now, and Josiah didn't understand what was funny, but it made him smile to hear Mama so happy. She cried a lot, when she thought Josiah couldn't hear.

"Okay, yeah, guess I didn't realize I was being so obvious." More laughter, and then silence for a second, "I'll be good to him. I will, I won't be like-"

"I'm going to hold you to that Linc."

"Good. He isn't the devil I thought he was at sixteen, but...well, anyway I have to get going, I'm expected at home." Josiah was suddenly awake-was he coming back? He'd said he was going to be around, but did he mean it? "Would it be alright if I took you and Josiah out to breakfast tomorrow?" He relaxed back into his pillow, feeling both relieved and excited, and kind of sleepy again.

"We'd love to." There was more moving around, like people were standing and then his Mama's voice again, hard in a way he hadn't heard before, "I'd just like to make one thing clear before you go, Lincoln. Josiah is your son, and I won't try and keep him from you, I never should have. I've regretted not telling you for awhile now, wondered if it was a mistake and it looks like it was. But if you ever, ever, try and take my mijo from me, I will ruin you. You will regret the day you ever laid eyes on me." A shudder ran through Josiah at that-what was Mama talking about? He didn't want to go anywhere away from her! If having a Daddy meant he left Mama he didn't want him at all!

"Anna, I wouldn't do that. You're his Momma and it's plain to see the boy adores you. He's a happy, beautiful kid." A pause, and then a lower, angrier tone, the kind that Josiah knew meant someone was trying to keep their temper, "You're right, you never should have kept my son from me." The trailer door closed, harder than it needed to be, and Josiah could hear the sound of Mama locking it and walking back to the alcove where she and Josiah slept, Josiah on the top bunk, and he quickly pretended to be asleep, like he was meant to be.

"Mama promises Nene, no one will ever take you from me. Ever."

*.*.*.*.*.*

A now almost seven year old Josiah all but bounced excitedly in his seat as he waited for Mama to finish driving their pick-up up the winding road to his Daddy's ranch. They'd been in Central America, the farthest south Abuelo took his mission, when his brand new baby brother had been born, a month early (he was okay though, both Daddy and Colleen had promised him that), and now he was four months old. It had been a week after that that Daddy had been able to get the news to them, and Mama hadn't wanted to travel all the way back to the U.S by herself so they had to wait for Abuelo to be done, and he hadn't wanted to leave for forever.

Mama had yelled at him after he made them wait an extra month, that the only one he was punishing was Josiah, and he hadn't done anything, it was her and Linc he was mad at. His Abuelo's eyes had cut over to him, and Josiah had known for certain that she was wrong, it was him Abuelo was mad at. He just didn't know why.

Then they were at the end of the road, pulling into where it curved into a turn around driveway, Mama reminding Josiah again that babies were fragile, and he was a big boy and needed to be careful, Josiah nodding solemnly even though he thought she'd told him about fifty times. It was obviously very important. He saw Daddy on the porch, waving at him, and he all but ripped his seatbelt off the second the truck was stopped, opening the door and leaping out, running for him, not really hearing Mama's voice calling for him to be careful as he jumped and Daddy caught him, swinging Josiah up and into a bear hug. "There's my boy! Look at you, you must have grown a foot!"

"Nope, just a couple inches." Josiah tried not to sound too proud as he talked, but it had actually been nearly three inches. Mama had a spot she marked on the camper wall, and he had grown a ton.

"Pretty soon you'll be as tall as your old man, maybe taller." Daddy tickled him for just a second, and he giggled, shifting away, and then Daddy was squeezing him tight again and Josiah squeezed back as hard as he could, before leaning back in his arms, looking the man straight in the eye and getting to the point.

"Where's my brother?"

Daddy grinned at him, "Inside, he woke up a little while ago, his Momma's feeding him."

"Can I go see him?"

"Of course! We'll lay him down on his blankie and you can play with his toys with him." Daddy's face stayed soft but got a little serious, and Josiah straightened up as best he could in his arms, because when Daddy's face got like that it meant you needed to listen. "Chris is still very, very little though, alright? I need you to remember to be gentle with him, and not try and pick him up on your own, okay? Can you promise Daddy that?"

Josiah listened gravely, nodding along, "I promise. Mama says babies are very fragile."

"You're a good boy." He looked over Josiah's shoulder at Mama, who was standing at the bottom of the porch, "Do you want to come in for coffee?"

"Oh, I don't know-"

"Anna. Trust me, Colleen wants to show off the baby, and you're about the only lady she knows who hasn't seen him yet. Come on. It'll be fine."

Josiah turned around as best he could in Daddy's arms, giving his Mama his best pleading face, "Pleassseeee, Mama? I don't want you to leave yet!"

"Well, I can't say no to that, can I?"

*.*.*.*.*.*

"Five months later, while crossing the street Colleen was run down by a drunk driver. My brother wasn't even a year old. It seems that the story just continues that way. Don't get me wrong there was a lot of happiness in-between, good years, amazing memories, but somehow every story ends like that. I have four half-brothers and after today the only one of us to have a living parent, is the one who was first abandoned and later abducted by her," Josiah closed his eyes, feeling about a hundred years old, "I am a man of faith, it seems whether I want to be or not. I believe in a way that can't be denied, though sometimes I have less faith in the goodness of God than I do in his existence. None of that changes the fact that sometimes life is just unfair, cruel and senseless."

"It really can be. I'm not sure what I believe in, except maybe the power of human kindness, but sometimes it seems there is precious little of that in this world."

Josiah nodded, having to clear his throat before he could continue, "Thank you for listening to me, for sharing some of your own kindness, but I think I'm going to try and sleep now."

Rene smiled at him, "Your welcome. I was happy too."

*.*.*.*.*.*

Chris scowled at the phone as he hung up, shaking his head.

"What now?" Buck mumbled, voice slightly hoarse.

"Idiot asked me whether he was still welcome."

"It's been a long time, Chris, you can't blame-"

"The hell I can't! He left! Nobody asked him to go, or sent him away, he's always been welcome!" Chris stormed out of the room then, slamming the door behind him, and Buck sighed, letting his head fall into his hands. They'd been eating dinner. Just eating dinner. Daddy had been making them all promise they wouldn't give Josiah a hard time, and all of a sudden he'd grabbed at his arm and then he'd just-he'd just collapsed, like a puppet with his strings cut.

Buck had been out working in the hay fields with him yesterday, they'd planted late this year, getting in an extra rotation crop of corn before they'd put in the alfalfa, the farmer's almanac Daddy swore by(for all Chris had gotten his 'we ain't farmers, we're ranchers, and you're damned right there is a difference' stickt honestly from the old man) telling him it was a good year for it, and the last crop telling them both the soil needed it. He'd been fine. He'd been sweating and laughing and alive and fine.

Now he was gone.

Nathan was dealing with the hospital and the funeral home, the paperwork and he shouldn't have to do that, not by himself, but Buck couldn't make himself get up and move. It would make it real. He wasn't ready for it to be real yet. Instead he closed his eyes and pictured his Daddy walking through the field. Alive. Fine.

Anything so long as he could get rid of the image of those vacant eyes staring up out of his Daddy's face.

*.*.*.*.*.*