AN: Aha! Inspiration for a Spam story strikes me once again! Right, so. Quick facts. First of all, I don't own iCarly. If I did, Sam and Spencer would spend eighty percent of every episode making out. Second, this oneshot is from the same verse as another I did, namely iSaw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, in which Sam and Spencer are married with two children. Read it, review it, recite it while putting on a posh English accent… whatever floats your boat.
He's 100% sure that Sam will go for this. Alright, 99% - 95%, if he's being really honest – but his chances are still quite good. He's only 70% sure that she won't be annoyed with him for splurging on a toy when he's a grown man, but, from a technical point of view, he wouldn't be lying if he said that Morgan wanted them. Sam didn't need to know that he'd pointed them out to her in the first place. He leans against the kitchen island and looks down at the colorful package in his hand, his expression one of cautious excitement. The words 'Body Crayons' are scrawled in colorful script across the top of the package, and beneath them in simpler print, 'Turn your body into a work of art!' He'd sprung for the deluxe package – for Morgan's amusement, of course, not his own – and so twelve thick, brightly colored crayons are visible through a layer of plastic. His favorite is the sparkly silver crayon on the end – it has a lot of potential, he thinks.
The front door opens and Sam walks in, a hint of a smile on her face as she drops her purse on the couch and strolls into the kitchen. As usual, her first stop is the fridge and when she turns around to face Spencer after a moment of searching she is balancing a can of soda and a little tub of cherry yogurt. The tiny blonde woman eyes the Toys-R-Us bags on the counter, casts a quick glance at her husband and then, shaking her head, she says, "Have you moved at all since Morgan and I left?" Spencer just grins, because he actually hasn't. He'd taken their six year old daughter, Morgan, to the toy store earlier, where they'd done quite a bit of damage to his bank account, and then, almost immediately after they got home, Sam had taken Morgan to a friend's house for the night. With their son Adam taking advantage of his recently raised curfew, the two of them have the apartment all to themselves.
And that's why he's so excited by the crayons.
It's then, as Sam is opening her soda, that she notices the package in his hands. All it takes is a raise of her eyebrow and he is launching into an excited explanation. "They're body crayons!" He says cheerfully. "They write on skin!" Here he slows down a bit, pausing to lick his lips. "And, well, I was thinking…"
But from the way she's smiling, he knows that she knows just what he's thinking. He waits for her to say something, but she just keeps giving him that look – the one that means she's trying to decide if she ought to scold him or reward him – so instead of waiting, he steps around the kitchen island and moves closer to her. "Please?" He says, holding the package up between them, "Can I turn your body into a work of art?" She arches one eyebrow. "Uh, I mean, your body is a work of art! I just, er, want to make it colorful…" Her eyebrow goes back down. Still, she says nothing. He shifts awkwardly where he stands, waiting.
A moment passes, and then another. Sam stares at him, a smile on her face, and he stares back, waiting for some kind of answer. Finally, when he's about to give up hope, she speaks. "Spencer…" She says, "What are you waiting for?" So he grabs her around the waist, and she drops her can of soda, sending fizzing liquid all over the floor. And though she mutters something about how she should clean that up, she is quickly silenced as he covers her lips with his and pulls her towards the bedroom, still clutching the crayons in one hand.
Sometime later, Sam is sprawled lazily on the bed. Her shirt and pants are gone, discarded soon after they entered the bedroom, and she is clad in plain white bra and underwear. Her hair is loose and spread around her head on the pillow and both arms are stretched above her head. Her eyes are shut and she is smiling to herself. Her legs are open and one is bent at the knee, the other stretched out flat on the bed. One might assume she was sleeping if not for the fact that every now and then she begins to giggle. Spencer is kneeling between her legs in nothing but his boxers, his expression quite serious as he leans forward over her abdomen. He is clutching an orange body crayon in his right hand and his left hand is pressed flat against the bare skin just below her breasts in an attempt to keep her still. He is attempting to put the finishing touches on the sun he is drawing, raising out of her underwear, but her stomach is ticklish and each time the crayon touches certain spots she begins to laugh and wiggle beneath him, effectively ruining his sun. Like her, he is nearly naked - only his boxers remain on, as Sam did away with the rest of his clothing soon after he did away with hers.
With his thumb, he smears a bit of orange into the yellow of his sun and Sam suppresses another fit of giggles when his thumb passes over her navel. Discarding the orange crayon, he picks up a blue one, and begins to color the skin around the sun with it. Several times he hits ticklish spots and barely manages to avoid adding an unappealing streak of blue to the sun. When he's finished with that, he chooses a new crayon – red this time – and draws three birds just above the sun. Not fancy birds, but rather the little 'M's that children often draw. Satisfied with this bit of his drawing, he straightens up and scoots forward just a bit. He chooses his sparkly silver crayon and begins coloring the part of her chest that is visible with her bra still on. He presses very gently and colors very slowly, covering every inch of skin, right up to the edge of her bra. This time she doesn't giggle, or wiggle beneath him. In fact, the smile on her face fades and she bites her lip as she looks up at him, as if she'd like to tell him to be done with this, to stop coloring and lose the boxers already, but instead she just coughs slightly and mutters, "Not trying to turn me into a sparkling vampire with that crayon, are you?" He smirks and continues coloring.
When he's finished with that, he drags the silver crayon along her shoulders and down a few inches of each arm. Then he selects his purple crayon and begins to color her neck with it, coloring right up to the edge of the underside of her chin. He uses the tip of his finger to blend the silver from her chest with the purple on her neck, and then he moves up yet again, this time to her face. He smiles down at her and cups her face gently with one hand. "Close your eyes." He whispers and she obeys. He's hovering over her now, his own chest just inches above hers so that he can feel the heat from her body – but he just keeps drawing. His smile fades and he assumes his serious expression once again as he selects his green crayon and drags the tip of it over her lips over and over until they are sufficiently covered. He repeats this process gently on her eyelids and then selects the purple crayon again to cover the rest of her face, right up to her hairline. He leaves small circles around her eyes, smearing the purple slightly so that it seems to just fade out when it gets close. He picks up the pink crayon now and draws small circles on the apples of her cheeks – circles that he kisses once before moving on.
He colors her arms black and smears the black into the few inches of silver at the top; he colors both of her hands black, too, carefully going around her fingernails so that they stand out. Then he turns her hand over and colors her palm and the pads of her fingers with a dark red.
And now the entire front of her torso is covered, so he moves down again. He selects his green crayon and begins coloring her right leg, which is bent up beside him. After coloring the entire leg green, from her thigh to her ankle, he snatches the brown crayon up and begins coloring her left leg.
He means to color this whole leg, too, just like the other, but he makes the mistake of starting with her upper leg, and she can't take it anymore. Not with his hand moving methodically back and forth across the skin so close to where she wants him to be. So she reaches down with red and black hands and tugs gently on his shaggy hair so that he comes up to face her once more. She opened her eyes again long ago and her blue eyes stand out surrounded by purple and green. Smiling, his finger tips ghost over her face and chest before reaching for a crayon as he attempts to move back down and finish coloring her leg. She lets out a vaguely animalistic noise and wraps her colored arms around him. "Enough of this." She says and she pulls him down and crushes her lips against his.
Somewhere in the midst of frantic impatient kisses, he whispers "I love you" and she answers with, "Please take your boxers off already!" And sometime after that, he's tugging gently on her ear lobe with his teeth and she breathes out, "I love you, too" And then, a short time after that she rolls him over and moves her hips just so and he says something along the lines of, "Holy blubber nuggets." And several minutes after that, he nips gently at the skin of her neck and mutters that crayon tastes like chicken and he thinks he sees her looking hungrily at her own thumb. And neither of them know how long it is after that that they're panting and he's kissing her swollen lips gently over and over and rolling over to lay beside her, but by then sweat as smeared the crayon from her body onto his and they're both a mess of silver and red and orange and blue and green and yellow and purple, and he has large black and red smears on his back and chest from her hands. His own hands are covered in purple from cupping her face and his lips have been stained green from being pressed against hers.
Still breathing heavily, he looks around them at the mess of crayons on the bed – most of the tips are worn down to nubs and several of them were smashed between their bodies.
And now he frowns. "I'm going to have to buy Morgan new crayons…" He says darkly, sending Sam into a fit of intense laughter.