Just a short (I swear, it looked so much longer while I was typing it!) oneshot I wrote for Misa's death day. MAJOR angst warning! I don't own Death Note.
She's wearing her favorite dress, the one that she had picked out to wear on their first date. Of course, that date had never happened; she had L to blame for that. It's black with white lace trim, classic Lolita with an elegant, form-fitting corset and a ruffled skirt that floated gently every time it was touched by the breeze. She remembers seeing it in the shop window for the first time, when she was taking a walk by her apartment with Rem. She had squealed in excitement and immediately rushed in to buy it. It was 249,570 yen, but oh so worth it. It was the day after she had seen him, Light, her knight in shining armor, and she wanted to wear it on their first date. Not when she introduced herself, their first real date. She can't believe it still fits from way back then. Well, that's what she pretends to think; she works very hard to maintain her slim figure—again, for him. It was all for him.
Today, she wears her most elegant makeup and jewelry. Her favorite shoes, the ones she was wearing when she introduced herself to him. Her lacey white hat with the red ribbon. She walks down the crowded street on her way to her train and ignores the stares she receives. She observes them with the detached interest of an off-work scientist, listening to snatches of conversation. She catches them saying the name she first fell in love with, the name they all knew him by: "Kira."
She stops and listens. They speak of how their prayers to their god of justice still go unanswered. One of their number muses whether an offering of money to Sakura TV may help. Misa walks on, and smiles humorlessly. She doesn't understand how naïve people are. Their god and hers, though called by the same name, are anything but. Their Kira was an untouchable god, to be worshipped blindly through the power of their faith. There was no proof of the peoples' Kira's existence; aside from the killings, of course. Her Kira was real, to be admired not only for his deeds to humanity, but for his beauty and his genius. And, of course, his kindness- if not to her, then to everyone else. He had never said a single unkind word to any of them, even Matsuda.
Of course, it had all been an act, she reflects as she boards the train; she knew that from the very beginning. She was no fool; she knew she was only a stupid pawn, but even to be used as such by her love was enough. She had been happy to play the part of the ignorant girlfriend, to listen much and say little. But it was all over. Kira's rule was over, done, gone. And so was the only thing that held her to this earth, the only reason not to break down and weep at the hopelessness of the pathetic human race. Her Light was gone, and thus was the light from her life.
She reaches the hotel building, and rides the elevator up to the seventeenth floor, pausing for a moment by the hallway mirror to fix her makeup. She must look perfect for this. A cleaning woman steps out of one of the rooms and sees Misa, stopped dead in the hallway. "Pardon me, can I help you?"
"Yes, can you please direct me to the rooftop?"
The woman stares. "Ah, if you don't mind me asking..."
"Oh, I'm supposed to meet my boyfriend there." The lie comes easily to her lips. Lies have always been easier than truth for her.
"Ooh! How romantic! Right up that staircase, dear. And be careful, it's awfully windy up there."
She says her thanks and climbs the stairs gracefully, step by step by step, until she reaches the door to the outside. It takes all her strength to push it open.
The woman was right about the wind. It whips her hair around her face, and she brushes it impatiently out of her eyes. There, the railing. Misa climbs carefully under and stands on the edge of the building, gazing at the sunset reflecting off the water. It's beautiful from here, and she's glad she chose this building.
She straightens her dress one last time and closes her eyes. She sees his face in her mind's eye. He's smiling at her with the warmth that she always had hoped to see, and now never will. "Happy Valentine's day, Light," she whispers. In her mind's eye she sees herself taking Light's hand and letting him lead her into the night. And then she's flying, soaring like a bird, her hair fluttering behind her. The sun dips behind a building, and the night falls gently, softly, across what was once Kira's land.
So...review!