Three Simple Words

Author: Irish Kaoru

Disclaimer: I obviously do not own FAKE as I am not from Japan or Japanese, I have absolutely no talent for drawing, and well I own nothing but my clothing, computer, and extensive anime and manga collections.

Dedication and author notes: This is a story that I have written for one of my reviewers, PurgatoryHeart. She wanted me to let you all know what was going through Ryo's head when they had broken up. So because this weekend I have decided that I am going to do something for me (aka do nothing at all for once) I would take her challenge and write you all a prequel to Cup of Coffee. So thus a story was born. I hope you enjoy!

//Open up my eyes,
Flooded with daylight.
Another sleepless night turns color black and white.//

It's been three days since the last time I have seen you Dee. I have no clue what is going on or why you have stopped coming to the apartment but it hurts. I would think that after two years you would have been ecstatic that I asked you to move in with me. After all that time that we talked about making a life with one another. Why did you have to take time to think about it. Why will you not answer my calls or see me at all.

I turned over in bed and looked out the window. The sky was clear and I knew that the air would be crisp. Fall was on it's way and is it got colder outside I couldn't help but think that it matched the way that Dee was beginning to act towards me.

For the past two nights I have not been able to sleep well at all. I have grown so accustom to having him next to me, something warm to cuddle up to. Now the bed just feels big and barren, like an unfamiliar territory that I somehow stumbled upon.

Dee where are you?

//With all the things I've said,
there is just regret.
Repeating in my head.//

I know that we had a fight, that I may have pushed you to hard to move in with me. I didn't think that it was going to be that big of a problem though, it wasn't like you didn't live here most of the time anyway. I can recall the fight and i regret that it ever happened.

"What do you mean you need time to think about it! Dee we have been together as a couple for at least two years now and you have been practically living here since before that. Why the hell is it so hard for you to decide now?"

"God damn it Ryo, you wouldn't understand so just lay the fuck off would you!"

"OH so now you want me to lay the fuck off, like I wanted you to do for the two years that you fucking pushed me and pushed me to be with you. So I have to 'lay off' when it comes to something that you may not what to do but when it's you pushing me it's ok?"

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean? So you mean to tell me that you really had no feelings what so ever for me? That you didn't or perhaps you don't love me and you are really doing all of this because you wanted me to lay off?"

"Wha- No Dee how could you say something like that you know that I love you. If I didn't love you do you think that I would ask you to fucking move in with me? Do you think that I would keep stuff that I know you like stocked in the cabinets? Do you think that I would let you fuck me? God damn you Dee why do you have to be so fucking insensitive?"

"Sorry I guess I am just made that way."

And with that Dee walked out the front door and slammed it in his wake. He walked out of the house like he was walking out of my life and for the past three days that's literally what he did.

It was my phone ringing that snapped me back to reality. I lazily rolled over to check the caller ID and felt my heart leap through my chest when I saw who was calling. Dee had finally made contact and I froze up like a child caught with my hand in the cookie jar. The answering machine had to pick it up.

"Ryo… it's Dee… sorry I haven't talked to you in the last three days it was…well… wrong of me I guess. But if you could meet me down at the coffee shop in an hour I would appreciate it. I have something important to talk to you about.: -click-

I hurriedly jumper out of bed and showered and changed. My mind was racing a mile a minute. I could feel it… this would be the day that Dee said he would move in with me and that we could really start living together as a family. It had to be that, what else could be so important?

//Hands into a fist,
Static in my head.
Now I'm sitting face to face with loneliness.//

I walked into 'The Corner Cup' at half past twelve and saw him sitting in the back corner where we normally sat. I smiled at him and waved a little as our eyes met. He waved back and gave me a half hearted smile. Maybe he was sick? He did look a little pale.

"Hey" I said casually as I sat down across from him."

"Yo." Came the reply and then silence, the silence was maddening, insane, and stressful. I had never known a silence that went on for as long as ours had. The only words spoken were when Maggie, out waitress, came over to refill Dee's cup and ask me if I wanted one.

"So…" I said after a while, "what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" I studied his face which looked a little odd to me. Whenever he talked to me he had this presence, an aura of happiness and genuine joy that couldn't really be hidden. This time he looked sad and I felt in my gut that there was something wrong.

"Ryo, I- I cannot move in with you." He stuttered a little and seemed unsure of himself. Why though? 'Dee just tell me!' I remember thinking that in my head over and over knowing that there was more to the story that he was letting me have, more that he had to say.

"Why? Is there something wrong?" I began to get worried. Something had to be wrong Dee never took this long to give a straight answer unless he was hiding something.

"Ryo, I am not all fancy with words, hell you know that, so I am going to just say it. You are a great man, a good catch for anyone but I cannot be with you an-anymore."

My hands fell into my lap and just sat there. I couldn't hear anything anymore. This person, this man was supposed to be the one. My soul mate, the person that I was going to spend the rest of my god given days with and here he is breaking up with me. I could feel the tears coming to my eyes.

//What did I expect?
Did I see forever
in you?//

I could only stare at him in disbelief. Stuff like this wasn't supposed to happen. Not when we were so happy. I wanted to ask him why but I knew that I wouldn't be able to do that. I knew that my voice would betray me. I looked down at my hands and felt the warm tears, that I didn't know began to fall, land on my hand.

"Oh" was all that I could manage. He said he was sorry to me again and put some money on the table and stood up. His final words to me were 'you will find someone better than me.'

He was up and gone, gone from the table, gone from the café, gone from my life. I couldn't move at all. If I did I knew that I would break, emotionally I had begun to fall apart and it hurt physically as well. I could feel my hear beating harder and faster than it was before I had seen Dee. I was taking deeper breaths, trying to calm down. Nothing helped. I threw the money for my coffee down on the table and ran out of the café and into the streets.

I ran all the way to the park and sat there under the tree where we had shared our first kiss and cried like I had never cried before. I was so stupid what was I expecting. Dee was notorious as a playboy, he had just tired of me and I had tried to get to close to him so he had to throw me away.

How could I have been so blind, so dense? How did I fool myself into believing that I would be with him until the day that I died? Why had I even tried. I was sobbing even harder now. I really did see a life with Dee, the rest of our lives together. That dream, that vision that I saw was now shattered into thousands of pieces like my heart, emotions, and soul.

//Time to close my eyes
Forget about this mess.
Tried to fix this tragic loss of innocence//.

I knew that I had to do something to help me forget what had just happened. Sitting here under this tree was not going to help. This tree held so much importance to both of us that I couldn't stay here if I wanted to. I had to forget. I had to find a way.

I walked out of the park entrance that was closest to my apartment. Once I got into the foyer I didn't even wait for the elevator I just ran up the seven flights of stairs and to my front door. I was like a madman.

The whole scenario just kept playing in my head. I could see the look on his face, I could hear the sound of his voice, hell I was sure that I could smell his cologne. It didn't matter how fast I ran I could not runaway from the fact that I had just been left all alone. That the love of my life had walked out on me and that it was my fault for asking him to move in with me.

//But how can I forget,
The things I haven't done.
When everything is dead?//

There was no way that I was going to ever be able to forget him, forget the time that we had together, or the time that I was to dense to let him in. It was it that I should have never let him in in the first place?

When I was with him things were different. I felt alive and so happy, carefree almost. He brought out the best in me. What was I suppose to do now that he wasn't here? Now I was just miserable. How is it that something that can bring you more joy than you ever thought possible could also cause you more pain then you had ever felt before.

Inside I just feel dead. I was just lying in bed with my pillow clutched to my chest when Bikky came back from school that day. He knew that something had happened, and I knew that there was no way that I could hide it. I was to hurt to even try to put on my façade. Dee had broke me down completely when he said those words to me. And I am sure that I will never be completely whole again.

//Can't you see that you left me
here on my own.
Give me one good reason why I should let go//

Dee Laytner, I love you and I don't want to lose you. Therefore I will hope that one day in the near future you will be able to once again turn to me and say: 'Ryo, I love you." And I can hold you in my arms again. I am alone now but I refuse to admit it… it's the only way that I will get by.

A/N: ok so this sucked monkey balls…. I am sorry the writing is so crappy I have a lot on my mind, some ties in with this story (about 75) some does not but either way it's taking a huge toll on me right now. And it is 4:11 am. There will be another story out called Letters to You (that's a working title) and it will finish up the series for cup of coffee. And take place after Ryo's well I am not going to say anything if you haven't read' Cup of Coffee' please do! Defiantly before you read my next story post.

And I would very much like to hear what you have to say about my writing no matter what story it is so please review! If you would like go ahead and challenge me with s challenge and I will pump them out for you as soon as I have time.

Irish Kaoru

RED DAWWWWWWWWWWWNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!