My Dearest Shane:
It has been a week since you left, though, to be honest it has seemed so much longer, and I had not anticipated how very different life would be when you were not here.
The DLO is not the same without you. I had not realized just how much we have come to depend upon your talents to connect dead letters and misdirected packages with their intended recipients. In just a week, the packages are piling up, the letter bins are full, and helping a letter find its home has been an elusive goal for the many pieces of mail that enter our world, waiting to be delivered.
Every day, I find myself staring at your empty desk, and it leaves me with an almost indescribable feeling. I feel hollow, like there is a weight in the depths of my stomach, and nothing seems to relieve that feeling. At times, as I work at my desk, in nearly futile attempts to connect person and package, I think of something I want to tell you, and I look up. I almost expect to see you staring at your screen, awaiting the results of a search you ran, forgetting for the briefest moment that you are not here. And then I remember, and my heart sinks. You are far away, somewhere that is not here, and there is once again a hole in my department that I never knew needed filling until there was you.
I stare at the blender, too, a melancholy feeling overtaking me, both because Eleanor is gone and because you didn't have the chance to use the blender before you were whisked away to parts unknown. Today I used that blender because I know that Eleanor's bee pollen, ginger, and kumbatcha smoothie recipe meant so much to you. I imagine that finding that recipe only to have it taken away so quickly was incredibly bittersweet, so I thought I would surprise you by trying to perfect that recipe before you return home.
I connected with some experts in the past few days, all of whom seem to have conflicting opinions on what constitutes the perfect bee pollen, ginger and kumbatcha smoothie. I have purchased a variety of ingredients and decided to diligently experiment, record my attempts, and hope for the success.
My first attempt, I'm afraid fell flat. I struggled with creating the recipe as well as with using the blender. It was awkward, clearly an activity that is beyond the bounds of my typical experiences, but with practice, the right ingredients, and the right recipe, I aspire to create a smoothie that is perfect for you, one that you will provide as much enjoyment as Eleanor's. After my first experience, it is clear that it may take a while, but if you return before I find the perfect smoothie recipe, I would welcome the opportunities to make smoothies with you.
You once told me that I eschew technology, Shane. At this moment, I would welcome technology if it offered me a way to connect with you, to hear your voice, to see your face just so I know that you are doing well, that you are safe. One of the most difficult parts of your being away and incommunicado is that I do not know whether you are safe. I pray every day that you will return to me safely
Come back Shane. Come back to me soon.
Yours truly,
Oliver