Piping Hot Gazpacho

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Main Theme- Where Everybody Knows Your Name by Gary Portnoy

Hux comes out of his small 'fresher and sees Vader's ghostly helm looking down on Kylo Ren. Aw, he's worried about his fanboy! Actually, I'm worried too because Force-users don't normally get sick. Unless purposely infected. Or poisoned. I hope this is just a fever and not some botched assassination attempt.

"Okay, the water's not as cold as I want it, but it'll do!" He announces to Vader and Kylo. His sink tends to be finicky when it comes to the temperature of water; most of the time, the water is lukewarm.

"I'm sure it will." Vader actually moves aside to let Hux have access to Kylo. The feverish knight has the covers pulled to his neck and his legs are slightly curled to his chest. Aw, he's kind of like a ginormous baby! And he has the temper of one. Well, he used to; I mean he's trying. And he's sick, so I shouldn't judge him harshly when he's at his weakest! And at least he put all of his clothes in one pile instead haphazardly strewing them about. Hux walks over the pile of armor and clothing to finally reach Kylo's bedside.

"Kylo, are you feeling nauseous or dizzy? No, I'll bring you the trashcan just in case." And Hux does after he lays a lukewarm washcloth on Kylo's sweaty forehead and on the sides of his red face. He places the trashcan a little ways from Kylo's clothes pile; he hopes that when Kylo vomits, he'll aim for the trashcan.

"You just called me Kylo." Kylo remarks softly, and Hux smiles before correcting him.

"This is like the seventh time I've called you by your forename. In the past two days, I believe. Hmm, my how quick things change." Kylo opens his mouth and then closes it. He then bites the bottom half of his lips with his perfectly straight, white teeth. I guess Knights of Ren get dental; I don't get dental.

"You don't need dental. Your teeth are perfectly fine." Hux snorts at that. He knows his teeth are slightly crooked; he gets his teeth from the Commandant. Father was the one with the perfectly fine teeth; even when he drank wine, his teeth were perfectly pure. I wondered if he used the Force to do that.

"Wait, your father was a—" Kylo decides to sneeze at that moment. Hux feels his cheeks turn pink for a moment. Aww, it's like a Tuk'ata sneezing! And I really need to stop staring at his nose because he's going to notice and feel offended. Or creeped out. Force, I'm such a weirdo!

"Aren't you going to finish your breakfast?" Kylo asks softly. Again. Either his throat is sore or he doesn't have the energy to be his usual loud self.

"Oh, I think I need to watch over you and—"

"Oh…I really wanted to have breakfast with you; I was so worried that wouldn't like the waffles. Most people don't like vanilla yeast. And the butter was quite a challenge since cinnamon can be quite overpowering, but I actually got it balanced well. And the caf came from Corellia and it was such a chore to import….but it's okay if you don't want to eat anymore. You're probably afraid that I contaminated the food." Kylo looks over the side of his bed and down into the trashcan. Hux knows that he can see the shattered remains of the teacup because Kylo screws his eyes tight like he's in great pain.

"…We can have breakfast together another time. But it would be an awful waste of your hard work." Hux decides to leave Kylo's side and returns to his desk where the tray of gourmet waffles and caf is waiting for him. He picks up his golden fork and goes to finish his breakfast. And then half of Kylo's.

Whatever lingering guilt that Kylo felt about faking his sickness vanishes when Hux resumes eating the breakfast he made for skinny little ginger. And then his own. Hux would look at him every now and then, while Kylo would bat his eyelashes and give him a weak smile. To be honest, he feels like he's laying it on thick, but Hux didn't seem to notice and shovels more food in his mouth.

Look at that thick, brown syrup dribbling down his jaw, mingling with the small puddles of creamy butter on the porcelain plate. He's too focused on eating to bother using the napkin to clean up after himself! Aww, he's like a ginger gualama! Kylo coos inwardly as he remembers when he was a toddling Ben Solo on Naboo. Ben accompanied his mother on a senatorial visit to the Theed Royal Palace. His mother left him outside the throneroom with a wizened handmaiden; she took him to the stables because your grandmother loved visiting the stables when she was Queen. He watched a pack of gualamas eat grass; they would unhinge their small jaws and gnash the green grass with their mouths open. Bubble-clear drool with confetti-sized bits of grass would fall out of their mouths occasionally; once finished, they would lick their mouths for any excess grass and smear the emerald-green chlorophyll onto their white-furred muzzles.

Okay, Hux has enough manners to eat with his mouth closed, but he's such a sloppy eater like the gualamas! And he's cute—NO, NO! I can't start thinking like that because I used to think Tenel was cute, okay it was more like smoking hot, and then BOOM! I got sex dreams about her! I DO NOT WANT SEX DREAMS ABOUT HUX! Kylo screws his eyes shut and clutches at his hand, repeating that last thought over and over like a charm.

"Kylo, your head must be killing you from not eating! Well, I don't think I should give you solid food because I don't think your stomach can handle it….I can get some soup from the mess if you want. The pea soup is the best!" Kylo pulls the Baby Luke face. The Baby Luke face is where the lips turn into deep crags of utter disgust, while the eyes become almost as huge as a Hutt's. Sometimes, the nose wrinkles more than the nose of a Toydarian and it becomes almost lupine. Han coined that expression after Luke Skywalker had hoi-broth for the first and last time. Fortunately, the expression also doubles as a violently ill face.

"I take it you're not up for soup?" I would rather drink a gallon of Yoda's piss than partake in the watery swill that you call pea soup! But I am hungry…I think have some soup from last night in the fridge. Kylo replaces his Baby Luke face with a more blank expression like he's trying to contain a great amount of pain.

"Pea soup seems far too….caustic for me. I have some gazpacho in my fridge. Would you get it for me?" Kylo uses the Force to make himself rasp and sound weaker than before. I got Hux to eat my waffles with just the batting of my eyes and some weak smiles; there's no way he can refuse my scratchy voice!

"Sure, I'll get you your…gazpacho! Oh, before I go, did you change your access codes?" Kylo shakes his head; he hasn't bothered to fiddle with his door's security system since he didn't feel like anyone would dare break into his quarters. Hux offers him a small, maternal smile.

"Now, you just rest and not speak, okay? I'll be back soon!" Hux leaves his one-and-a-half-eaten breakfast behind for the exit; he doesn't even bother wiping the glistering, sticky syrup from his mouth. Kylo's cheeks turn rose-red and brings the blanket over his head.

Oh, Force, he is cute!

Vader watches as his grandson hides his embarrassment by resulting to an old family tradition: pulling the blanket over one's head and going into denial. Although, this time his grandson has somewhat slipped out of his denial. Good. We're getting closer!

"Grandfather….I'm so sorry. I know you're there."

"Yes, I am. I have been there for you since your….Fall, for lack of a better word. Even during your asinine meetings with Discount Darth Plagueis!"

"I'm so sorry about….my pathetic crush on Hux. I know I should be attracted to a woman like grandmother, but I keep failing to do so."

"Well, my grandson, not everyone has the same attractions. At least with this one you didn't tell him you were going to marry him. Although, I hope you do. Someday. Get to know each other first before getting married; it would solve the communication problems that my Angel and I were plagued with!"

"Like I did at being a Jedi…..but I don't know if it's for the best because the last time I had a crush on a ginger…it ended with me losing my right nipple."

"To be honest, I was more for you becoming a politician like your grandmother, like you expressly wanted to be when you were a child. Or a tailor because you replicated your grandmother's wardrobe so perfectly! And the last crush I had on a ginger resulted in me being his slave for a quarter of a century, so at least you aren't his slave. Unless you're into that, which is fine. For you."

"I don't….I don't know what Hux is capable of!"

"To be honest, I don't know what Armitage is capable of either. He's a bit similar to Palpatine in that regard. Actually, they share some physical similarities too. And it's not just their ginger locks. Armitage's eyes, when they are blue, are the exact shade of watery blue as Palpatine's. But they can turn Force-lightning blue in the throes of anger. They have pale skin like they would freckle if ever exposed to the sun for too long. They have long, spidery fingers like born musicians. They have thin lips with slightly crooked teeth, but I will admit that Palpatine's teeth were far sharper than Armitage's in places with little light."

"A-And he's cute! But he has no ass! Like I don't know if Hux uses implants to fit in his jodhpurs or what! I shouldn't be attracted to him on that basis alone! So why am I!?"

"Ah, another physical disparity between the two 'Evil' Gingers. I must concede that Armitage lacks any of the cheek that Palpatine had. I want to say it's because Armitage's piss-poor diet, but I hardly saw Palpatine ate and he still had a perfect backside. I wonder if being strong in the Force had something to do with that…"

"…It's not wholly a physical thing because no-ass is usually a deal-breaker for me. Is it because out of all the First Order drones he's actually not a drone? Not an unfeeling android? That he's actually…..nice!? I mean he's doing all of this stuff for me! And I've been…less than nice to him, his ship, and his crew." His grandson frowns deeply and his Padmé-brown eyes become brighter with his guilt.

"He's a reverse of Palpatine. On the outside, Palpatine was kind until it wasn't of use to him. Inside, he was colder than the heart of Hoth. Unless he was angry. Armitage wears a mask of coldness, but he has a very tender heart. And he can cry, something Palpatine never did."

"And I just lied to him to cover up my own...embarrassment! I want to swear that I will never lie to him again, but I know I won't keep that. It's just not possible on the path I've chosen."

"Believe me, even if you chose the path lit with Light, you will still lie. Except your lies will be presented as sagely bromides. It's better for you to walk down a path through the day and night. It shall be the best when you not walk down that path alone."

"….I just realize that Hux is going to my quarters, he's going to be inside my room. OH KRIFF! I FORGOT TO LOCK UP THE COSTUME ROOM!" His grandson howls and pulls at his thick, black locks.

"…I would be more concerned about the ash altar that you haven't cleaned in a month."

Hux expects Kylo's quarters to be bigger than his. He knows that Supreme Leader Snoke had specially reserved these quarters for Kylo; he'd most likely designed the rooms himself for his favorite Apprentince. These rooms would've been mine on this very floor by my rank; Mitaka would've had my room below this unrepaired floor. Hux feels his mouth turn sour like he's been sucking on a lemon wedge. He always get sour when he thinks about Snoke's blatant favoritism for Kylo over him.

It reminds him of the times in the Academy where he was passed up for the Commandant's Own. By the Commandant himself.

Nepotism was what prevented many, more experienced Officers from getting higher posts in the Empire. Nepotism cannot be allowed on any level within the First Order. Even if you can beat the rest of the Own blindfolded and concussed. That was the Commandant's answer every time Hux pressed him about joining the Commandant's Own. And it was a very sound answer that also admitted one of the glaring faults of the "perfect" Empire. But it still fucking hurt.

Hux shakes his head at his childish hurt and finally punches in the access codes to unlock Kylo's door. The door slides open and reveals pitch-black darkness. Huh, I thought he'd leave the lights at 10% or something; I guess he likes to help the ship save some power. Or, more likely, he wants to remind himself of the power of the Dark Side! Hux's twists his mouth into a crooked grin that a hammy villain would give. He steps inside the darkness and the door slides close.

"Lights 75%!" Hux slightly winces as his eyes adjust to the light. What he first notices is the color of the room. The walls are black with deformed, rectangular panels. There are consoles that provide eerie red light in their dark areas. Red and black are apparently the only colors that matter to the Dark Side. And Smaug-gold! But I don't see any yellow around here…Hux's eyes then finally focus on the very center of what he dubs as the main room.

The heart of the main room has a ring of mist-gray lights framed by sleek, black rods. He is reminded of the eye-like ceiling from the torture room. Actually, if you removed that black chair and that…fireplace? No, it looks more like a utilitarian, miniature version of the Altar of Horror on Dromund Kass. I guess Kylo likes burning offerings here? I mean there is a lot of ash like if there ever was a gust of wind, then the whole room would be caked in ash! Hux then walks past the ash altar and goes up to the wall behind the black chair.

You know whoever designed this ship really needs to consider color-coding or at least making the doors more noticeable! There's got be a switch somewhere to make one of these walls reveal a hidden room because I know Snoke would give his beloved Apprentince private rooms—And Hux finds the switch hidden in an obscured nook of the wall, he feels the switch and is reminded of a pyramid. He presses down the switch and is amazed that he didn't cut his fingers on the sharp tip of the pyramid. The wall raises up like curtains at dramatic theaters.

Seriously, another dark room? And it feels really cold…I really hope this isn't a room where he stores body parts. Oh, Force, the ash altar is really ashes of his slain enemies, isn't it? Hux makes a mental note to ask Kylo about this later.

"Lights 75%!" He is greeted by familiar black walls with deformed rectangles and this somehow disappoints him. I was expecting shelves with embalmed heads of enemies or jars of Sith-alchemy-made creatures. Instead, it's really Spartan. There's a First Order-issued desk and chair. I can see a bookshelf by the desk with leather-bound, paper books. Oooh, I can smell the musky, dusty pages from here! And what else—

"Oh. Love." Hux's mind finally processes the size of Kylo's bedroom. My entire quarters, including my 'fresher and my closet, could fit in this one room! KRIFF, HE REALLY DOES HAVE THE WHOLE FLOOR TO HIMSELF! And Hux cannot help but marvel at such an extravagant waste of space. Even the king-sized bed at the center of the bedroom, predictably decorated with black sheets and pillows, takes up only a fifth of the room.

"But at least, this room has clearly marked doorways!" Hux notes. There are four, thickly framed doorways. Two north of Hux and on the other side of the room; one of the north doorways is open and Hux can see glints of reflective sequin. Sequin? Is that Kylo's closet? Okay, I never pegged him for a guy who likes sequin, but maybe it's for missions needing stealth? Hux frowns, doubting that thought and goes to the closet. The lights in the closet come immediately on as he walks in.

He gapes like he's found the Darksaber. He sees racks and racks of dresses, pants, shirts, shoes, and even some phenomenal headpieces that would make Queen Amidala say that it was too much. He goes over to one of the racks with dresses and pulls a dress out. He chooses the dress because it is his favorite color: white.

The dress billows to the ground and literally fans out like a fan; in fact, hanging off the belted waist of the dress is a fan. The sleeves' ends also fan out like the bottom of the dress; the rest of the sleeves are two, bursting rolls of shimmersilk white fabric, held together with ivory ribbons. The dress's chest is see-through lace with silver framing shaped into a barely-there heart. There's a clear bag tied to the neck of the hanger, and Hux sees an ivory tiara with meters of white ivory wound around itself like an icy basilisk; hanging off the center of the tiara is a dark crystal.

"Where did he—" Hux stops when he looks around more carefully and spots a sewing machine with a sewing tool box and cushioned stool in the farthest corner of the closet.

So Kylo made this? But for whom? Wait, the chest area is quite wide and flat, so did he make it for himself? Force, this must've taken months because that's how long wedding—wait, a wedding dress? Why would he need a wedding dress? Did Kylo get married? Hux imagines Kylo getting married on some beautiful planet, like Naboo, in the dead of winter. There's a gust of wind intertwining Kylo's lacey veil with ice crystals; Kylo's pale face and neck are whipped by the winter winds, but he walks in defiance of Winter's wishes. He shall get married to his chosen on this cold, cold day. And his chosen is—

Or Kylo made this because he wanted to make a wedding dress. Not all pieces of clothing has to have a function. Although, I hope he puts this dress to use one day; it'd be a shame if no one else got to watch him walk down the snowy aisle in this! Hux puts the dress back and walks out the closet. He figures the door next to the closet is most likely the 'fresher, so he goes to the west end of the room. This door is locked, but it does have a pyramid-shaped panel by it. He presses it and the door slides open to reveal the kitchen.

The kitchen is not a waste of space like the bedroom, but it's still bigger than his 'fresher and closet combined. The kitchen has black marble countertops and cherry-wood cabinets with a black stovetop, a silver sink, and a dishwasher. He sees the sleek, black fridge and makes a beeline for it, and then opens it. He sees two gallons of wild milk, some cheese, and a clear tub of red liquid. Hux grabs the tub and opens it; he's hit with the strong scent of vinegar and garlic.

So this is the gazpacho! Force, for a moment, I thought this was a vat of blood! Hux then rummages through the cabinets until he finds where the pots are kept. He grabs a small pot and pours the gazpacho into it; he then turns the stove on.

Kylo pulls the quilt with him as he gets out of the bed, further straining the paper-thin bed liner. Causing one corner of the slate-colored bed liner to come undone. Kylo goes to cover the corner back again with the liner, but creases form on the liner like he hasn't actually succeeded in covering the corner. His hands shake at his failure and he retreats back into the bed, not wanting to make the creases worse.

Vader has seen his grandson do this at least ten times over the course of twenty-five minutes. His grandson is trying to resist the urge to storm back to his quarters and yank Hux away from his well-kept secret. But his grandson reasons with himself. Again.

No, no, it's too late! If I gone twenty minutes ago, I may have been able to prevent Hux's discovery, but then Hux would know I was faking being sick and then he'll get mad at me. Which I do deserve from him because I am lying to him. And possibly myself. Kylo groans into his thin pillow. His groan sends vibrations across the bed and make Vader's box shake.

"Well, yes, you are correct. Armitage has already discovered your secret. I felt his slight surprise and then rippling wonderment at that wedding dress you made for yourself! That you'll hopefully wear on your wedding day to Armitage. On Naboo. At Varykino. During winter."

"Grandfather…do you think Hux is laughing at me? I mean if—when he entered the closet, he probably saw all of my headpieces! I'm not so great at designing headpieces, so he'd probably laugh at their amateur construction! And then there are the dresses…most of them are based on grandmother's wardrobe, but some of them are my own creation and they are…quite strange. Oh Force, I hope he didn't find the wedding dress! I-I….he's probably laughing at me!" Vader can see his grandson's face go red in humiliation and he further buries himself deep into the quilt.

"No, no, he's most certainly not laughing at you! At least, you didn't creep him out by saying you were going to marry him when you were nine—" Vader turns as Hux's door slides open. He sees Hux with a plain, checkered tray bearing Kylo's gazpacho. There's white steam rising from the red bowl of the red gazpacho.

"Okay, it took me a while to find where you keep your utensils because most people wouldn't put them under the sink, but it's your place—Lord Vader, is Kylo sleeping?" Hux starts off Wookie-loud before settling in Wistie-whispers. His green eyes can only see Kylo's black hair peeking out of the quilt.

"No, he's been awake while you were gone. He couldn't manage to sleep." Armitage's thick, ginger brows furrow in worry. Perhaps, I should've gotten him some extra-strength sleeping pills from Medbay. Vader lets out a guttural noise; he is pleased with Armitage's concern.

"I believe hot soup is what he needs. A full belly is the trick to sleeping!" Hux smiles at Vader's reassurance. He goes to his desk, clears off the breakfast plates, and places the tray there. He then goes over to the bed and quietly touches Kylo's shoulder through the quilt. He sees the dark hair on the back of Kylo's neck stand up.

"Kylo, I brought the soup. You can eat it on the bed if you like." Hux softly whispers. Kylo wiggles his head out of the quilt; his brown eyes are downcast. I guess he thinks I wouldn't normally approve of eating in the bed, which is mostly true but only for crumbly foods, and I'm only allowing it because he's sick. Hux realizes.

"It's just soup, so as long as you don't douse my quilt with it, it's fine to eat on my bed!" Kylo sees Hux adding an almost inane smile at the end. He feels his heart speed up at the caring smile.

Oh no…I have a crush on him now, don't I? No, no, I've only known him, well got to know the man under his General veneer, for about three days. Isn't that too quick for a crush—no, wait, I fell for Tenel in less than a day. But I was like sixteen and she was the hottest woman on Hapes. With a perfectly sizable ass. Looking back on that now, I fell for her for very shallow reasons…so is this crush more substantial than that one? Than my so-called first love? Force, my head hurts from not eating breakfast! Kylo sits up and uses the Force to bring the tray towards him.

"Thanks for the…Hux, what is this?" Hux watches as Kylo's face goes from relaxed gratitude to puckering judgement. Oh pfassk, that's not the gazpacho, was it? I mean I didn't see any other containers that held something that look like soup! Then again, I wasn't looking too hard. Yet, Hux couldn't resist that pinprick of annoyance at Kylo's displeasure.

"Gazpacho. The red stuff that smelled like vinegar and garlic. I heated it up for you!" Kylo looks down at his hot gazpacho and then back into Hux's blue eyes. They were green a minute ago…oh, he's annoyed with me. He thinks I'm being picky or something. Kylo gulps and hopes that Hux won't be too stung by his correction.

"Hux, I hope you don't think I'm a jerk for telling you this, but gazpacho is actually supposed to be served cold." Hux's eyes shift back to green. Oh, I did not know that…so, he can't eat that now?

"Oh, he can, it's mostly hot tomato soup at this point. And garlic. He loves garlic." And I'm going to file that away for later! Vader hears Armitage think and do.

"I can get you soup from the mess—" Hux slyly starts and is then interrupted by Kylo quickly spooning the hot soup into his mouth. Hux grins as Kylo downs his soup like a parched man finding an oasis in the desert.

Author's Comments- Here are the links:

This is the image I worked-off to describe Kylo's quarters. The one in the image is what I would call the main room. Apparently, Kylo uses the main room in the image to house an ash altar for his grandfather where he also would leave his helmet, and he might also use it as an office and an access point to the other attached rooms. And about the ash alter where he would leave his helmet, I guess he believes that he could absorb what little Force was left in those ashes? I don't know; Kylo can be confusing. Also, I don't know if that main room in the image, in the New Canon, is all of Kylo's quarters. So I decided to add some additional rooms that are accessible through the concealed door-wall of the main room. So Kylo has a kitchen, a fairly large refresher, a storage room that he repurposed into his costume room, his bedroom, and a spare bedroom. So Kylo's quarters are made up of five rooms and a bath. Yeah, Snoke definitely plays favorites: a href=" . "Link/a

Here's the dress that Hux pulls out. It's actually concept art for Padmé Amidala's wedding dress in Episode II. They literally turned a fan into a wedding dress and it's gorgeous! And it would look even more gorgeous on Kylo as Hux imagines: a href=" . "Link/a

I finally got to write something sweet, something kind of funny, and something meaningful for all the characters involve. And oh Seven Sith Hells yeah I took that "He did it for the love of the Emperor" quote from Bloodlines by Claudia Gray out of context! Maybe. I've been told the novelization of Return of the Jedi had some subtext-y scenes. And, man, I'm really into shipping Skywalker males with gingers, especially gingers that can possibly kill them or tried to. Thank the Force for the Expanded Universe and my cracktastic nuttiness!

Oh, and hopefully the next story in this series will be about Kylo and Hux watching a movie together. You know with Vader ever presently there and trying to make his ship become canon. And Hux is still utterly clueless to what really happened to Mitaka.