A/N: I...have no idea. I wanted to write a serious, deep Matt/Mello fic, and ended up with this. Which I would consider a fail, if I didn't love the first half so dang much.

In other news, RELATIONSHIP DRAMA! Oy. Seriously, I feel like my life has turned into a telenovela. Except without quite so much Spanish. And definitely less cleavage. :P

Hush

Matt leaned casually against the corner of a big slate colored building, which was no small feat.

I mean, have you ever successfully reclined against a corner and made it look easy? Yeah, thought not.

But Mail Jeevas was the king of tailing suspects, and he had this whole corner thing down to a science. It was almost as easy as beating Devil May Cry on expert.

If you looked closely, everything about Matt was engineered to make him blend in. Sure, maybe if you had to choose, you'd pick a spy who was plainer than a bowl of porridge. Someone who could hardly be seen because they were so bland.

But you'd have to be even stupider than the blond Matt was following.

See, Matt was perfect for this job for several reasons.

Firstly, of course, was his intelligence. No way, no how would he ever make some dumb little slip up and get caught. Nor would he lose his target. It just wasn't going to happen.

Second was his appearance. I know what you're thinking. HA! Yeah right. There's no way I wouldn't notice that hunka-hunka burning love standing on a street corner.

But that's where you'd be wrong.

The striped shirt stands out like a sore thumb, you say? Obviously you haven't watched enough of the Discovery Channel.

The answer is simple: zebras.

You'd have to be a complete imbecile not to pick up on that one.

Oh, but no one wears goggles, right? Well, these babies aren't just goggles. You want night vision? Heat sensors? Video and audio recording capabilities? What's that? You said you want to play Pac-man using your eyelashes?

Check, check, check, and double check.

Okay, so maybe Matt stood out just a tad. But if you're someone watching for a spy, you're going to be suspicious of every single dude in a tan trench coat that comes your way.

The weird guy in stripes and goggles standing smoking on the corner? Yeah, not so much.

Because nothing about that screams spy!

It might scream convict!? In a slightly strangled and confused voice, but no undercover agent would ever stand out so brazenly. Which is exactly what Matt wanted people to think.

So, if he got a few strange looks from passersby, he just shrugged it off good naturedly. He wasn't out there to be seen; quite the opposite.

Speaking of, there the chick was now. It was about time, too. She'd only spent…here Matt checked his high-tech calculator watch…3 hours in that shopping mall.

Matt couldn't comprehend it. How could anyone spend that much time any where? Even he got bored of Game Stop after an hour or so.

Oh well. Mello was paying him good money for this.

That's right, following Misa Amane around was most certainly not a favor. Sure, he'd share his apartment with Mello, buy the addict the best dark chocolate Seven-Eleven could supply…but tracking some bimbo blonde…? No way. That kind of service didn't come free, even to friends.

Matt contemplated that as he pushed off his corner and followed Amane down the street at a discreet distance.

He and Mello were friends…but lately it'd been a little strange. Matt had never been upset by the fact that Mello would flirt with someone's pet rock if he thought it'd flirt back. It had simply become common place that Mello chatted up everyone in his general vicinity.

Of course, until recently, that 'everyone' had not included Matt.

Matt shook his head. He didn't really mind, as long as Mello didn't expect him to flirt back.

Glancing up, Matt realized with a jolt that he'd lost Misa Amane's blond crown of hair in the crowd. Shit. Mello would have his head on a silver platter, flirtation or no.

Feeling the panic rise in his throat, Matt scanned the throng of people around him.

There.

Relief flooded him as he sighted the now familiar gleam of the actress' golden hair. Phew! For a minute there he thought he was going to be kicked out of his own apartment on his ass, which Mello most likely would have complimented as he applied his foot to it.

Matt forced himself to focus; contemplating Mello's newly attentive nature was what had gotten him distracted in the first place.

Training his gaze on the glimpses of Amane he could catch between the crowd, Matt had to admit Mello could have given him worse assignments.

The girl, despite being dizty as all hell, was smokin' hot.

This fact was particularly apparent today, Matt thought as he snatched a view of the girl's posterior. Da-mn, but she had a fine sway to her hips! And whatever that material was, it was clinging in all the right places like Saran wrap.

Matt allowed himself some very small indulgent fantasies as he watched one smooth, porcelain arm extend from the crowd and hail a cab, blonde hair glinting in the sun as Amane slid into the taxi.

Getting a hold of his own cab, Matt got to use one of his favorite lines ever (Follow that cab!), and was in short time delivered to a rather sketchy section of town.

Hmm, maybe all this tailing was finally going to pay off. Someone like Misa Amane shouldn't have any reason to be in some dark back-alley, unless she was involved in some shady business.

Peering around the corner of a crumbling old brownstone, Matt could see the girl flipping through a key ring, presumably trying to find the match for the huge steel door she stood in front of.

He sniggered under his breath as she tried several keys in succession, none of them getting the desired effect.

Then the petite girl did something that made Matt second guess himself.

She delivered a swift roundhouse kick to the door and started swearing like a sailor.

But not in Misa Amane's voice.

Oh, no.

This voice had edge. It was gritty.

It was distinctly masculine.

And it belonged to one Mihael Keehl.

Matt nearly choked on his Altoid. Did this mean…he'd been checking out Mello's ass? Been fantasizing about the sexy way Mello swayed his hips???!

Well, they did kind of look alike. In a weird, gender-bending kind of way.

Matt only noticed that he'd stepped out into plain sight and was staring unabashedly at Mello standing in the alley when said blonde turned around and glared at him.

"Matt, what the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be following the Kira girl".

Sadly, the be-goggled boy was only able to move his mouth silently. Words refused to come out. Primarily because in the last two seconds every ounce of Mello's hotness had hit him like a ton of bricks.

Fortunately, within the next 5 seconds, Matt had come to terms with the fact that he found his best friend ridiculously sexy.

"I thought you were her. I got you confused".

Before Mello's enraged look could expand into a full-blown verbal freak-out, Matt elaborated.

"Because you've both got crazy sexy asses. And hair. And…mmmff!"

Matt was abruptly cut off by Mello crushing soft lips against his own, wrapping his slim figure around Matt like a pretzel.

There was barely time for Matt to register what was going on before Mello pulled back and inquired breathlessly, "Would you rather be with…her?"

"Hell no! You're like a ten-times sexier version of her, even better cause you're male, not to mention my best friend…"

Matt never got the chance to finish his sentence, but he couldn't be brought to care as his careful spy-ensemble relocated itself to the floor of the alley.

Turns out his disguise blended in just about anywhere; for weeks on end, the striped shirt, goggles, and jeans remained on the ground just outside the secret entrance to the mafia's main hideout, until Matt returned to claim them.

No way was he losing the clothes that he'd been wearing the night he and Mello…ahhh…commenced their relationship. This was their 2 months anniversary, and Matt intended to bring back the spy look just for the occasion.

He only hoped Mello would be able to see him, chameleon that he was in that particular outfit.

He needn't have worried; even when everyone else in the world looked past him, Mello had always been able to look him straight in the eye, reaffirming his existence.

Of course, then the blonde would proceed to give a sexy wink and divest him of all his careful attire, but more often than not that was just what Matt needed.

A/N: Kind of struggled with the end, but I really, really wanted to finish and post this, since I'm moving up to school in two days and probably won't have much time for writing fanfics.

So lemme know what you think! :D