There's a Fine, Fine Line

by Goldstar94

There's a fine, fine line between love and a waste of your time.

Title: There's a Fine, Fine Line

Author: Goldstar94 (Kaileigh)
Pairing/Character(s): Rachel/Finn
Rating: PG
Word Count: 3,397
Spoilers: None! :]
Summary:There's a fine, fine line between love and a waste of your time.
Author's Note: Originally written for Livejournal/Gleefic's Musical Fanfiction Challenge

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

At age eleven, Rachel Berry made a time line charting out all the major milestones to come in her life.

Age 12- Respectfully hang up toe shoes.

She wasn't going to be a ballerina or a Rockette and she had a musical theater career to focus on. When she thought about all the precious hours she spent sweating in a dance studio when she could have been using that time to practice her vocal scales, she realized it would be the best choice for her to stop dancing and focus solely on singing.

Age 13- Have first kiss.

It seemed like the perfect age, really. And as her fourteenth birthday approached, she realized she had not accomplished this yet. So, Rachel invited a boy that she had a crush on from her science class over to study. Their feelings towards each other were mutual and while they were studying photosynthesis and cellular respiration, she closed her book and looked him dead in the eyes, "Do you want to kiss me?"

"Sure," He shrugged, his voice cracking faintly.

It was a soft, sweet kiss, though nothing like she had planned. From a very young age, Rachel had planned what her first kiss would be like. After watching many Disney movies, she decided the perfect setting would be on a magic carpet ride flying through Neverland. She wouldn't wear glass slippers since they were clearly impractical for anyone to walk in, but rather a yellow ruffled dress resembling Belle's from "Beauty and the Beast". But her prince would be no beast, but rather Prince Eric from "The Little Mermaid", since he was clearly the most attractive of all the animated hunks.

As she matured, she realized how ridiculous this plan was. And even though she knew she wouldn't be wearing that yellow ball gown she wished for or be flying on a magic carpet singing "A Whole New World", she still hoped her first kiss would still be as magical as a Disney movie.

But now, she was on a deadline. She didn't have time to worry about the setting or what she was wearing, for she was on a very strict schedule that she had meticulously planned out. At age fourteen she was supposed to be beating out Dakota Fanning in the new teen-romance flick that would end in a euphoric kiss. How awkward would it have been for her to have her first kiss be caught on camera and distributed around movie theaters across the country? She was behind schedule and she couldn't afford to waste anymore time.

So the kiss she shared with the boy from science class would suffice.

And though she never starred in that movie (Damn you, Dakota Fanning!), her life was still going according to plan.

Rachel knew that high school would be one milestone after the other and simply listed all the things she hoped to accomplish during her high school career.

-Star in high school musical production. (Complete; beat out all the other theater students for the role of Wendy in "Peter Pan" when she was only a freshman)

-Receive permit. (Complete.)

-Maintain a 4.0 or higher throughout high school. (Complete.)

-Go on a date/Find boyfriend.

The last task on her list would be the most difficult for her to accomplish. It didn't matter how strong of a performer she was or how much she studied for that test, winning a man's heart was a time-consuming task, that took careful consideration and preparation. It took finding the perfect pitch and volume of your laugh; not too shrill so it was surprising and loud like a pile of dishes crashing to the floor in a shattering mess, but not too modest so it appeared as if you had no personality. It included maintaining glossy locks that were never greasy or parched, that you could casually toss over your shoulder when something entertained you.

It was all about details that Rachel was not concerned with. She simply did not have the time to waste on such irrelevant things. Its not that she didn't care about how she looked or how she was perceived by guys, but there was so many things more important than her laugh or her hair. As a matter of fact, there were plenty of things more important than having a boyfriend or going on a date. Like her future talk show. It would be called "The Rachel Berry Show" and it would air after "The View" but before "Judge Judy". The show would feature her interviewing celebrities and offering advice to young girls and women around the world who looked up to her. She figured that it would air when she was about forty, when the spotlight would begin to dim on her as a performer. And it was the best way to shift the attention back on her without having to release a sex tape or have a wardrobe malfunction on the red carpet. It was far more important for Rachel to worry about this, then it was for her to waste her time dealing with the typical boyfriend drama that came with the teen dating scene.

But then again, the idea wasn't completely horrific to Rachel; the prospect actually excited her a bit. The idea of kissing someone she cared deeply for just because she could or holding hands with someone she couldn't stop thinking about during a scary movie actually made her smile.

She figured she would have plenty of time to plan her talk show or write her memoir or whatever else was on her agenda for later on in life. She looked at dating from a professional stand-point and found that it would only help her in the future to have these typical high school experiences under her belt.

So, Rachel made a list of all the possible candidates of boys that she could date.

1. Kurt Hummel
2. Artie Abrams
3. Finn Hudson

Her list was pathetic, really. Kurt was gay, Artie had an obvious crush on Tina, and Finn had Quinn. It would be a waste of time for Rachel to pursue any of these men. And Rachel was not one to waste time. Her life was a ticking clock and she wasn't about to lose a moment pursuing something that wasn't going to further her.

But then she thought about Finn and his friendly eyes and how he bites his pencil when he's thinking and how when he messes up during dance rehearsals he's willing to keep doing the routine until its perfect. She thinks about how he can always make her smile and how her stomach fills with butterflies when she sees him and how no matter how many times she's heard him sing, she's always impressed by his voice. She thinks about how they would probably be matched up on eHarmony and imagines them doing a commercial together for the website talking about their first kiss and how they feel like each others soul mate and how they always finish each other sentences. She thinks about how even if it took years for him to realize his true feelings for her, it wouldn't feel like she had wasted any time.

So, she flips her hair and laughs her perfected laugh in hopes of winning Finn's already possessed heart. Rachel's not sure what her plan is. Is she trying to break up Finn and Quinn? She couldn't be that wicked. She wouldn't hurt Finn by destroying the relationship he has with a girl he's completely infatuated with, in hopes that he would he realize his true feelings for her. She's beginning to feel like she has no chance and all her efforts to get a boy to notice her are all wasted, but she's never been one to give up so she keeps flipping her hair and laughing, in hopes of Finn noticing her.

And after a month or so of hair twirling and giggling, Finn and Quinn end their relationship, and Rachel is proud to say that it happened without any interference on her part. Rachel was much too busy tossing her hair and flirtatiously laughing to sabotage a relationship.

She finds out at the end of glee practice one day. His performance was inadequate that day in rehearsal. He misses notes he could have easily hit and stumbles over his feet during the dance routines. She suspects that he isn't practicing along with the CD she made for him comprised of vocal exercises designed to strengthen his voice and widen his range. Rachel thinks how it was probably a waste of her time to make that CD for him and carefully select exercises that he could accomplish with practice, but not so difficult he would get discouraged if he couldn't do them properly. But then she thinks about how he smiled at her after she handed him the CD and suddenly it doesn't seem like such a waste. After glee is dismissed and the other club members have leave, Rachel
approaches Finn with the original agenda of lecturing him about how he really needs to practice more frequently if the team wants to have any shot at Regionals. But then Rachel notices his face and sees how genuinely troubled Finn looks, so she softens her fierce facade and asks him what has him so upset.

"Uh...Quinn and I broke up," he says looking down at ground and fidgeting with the zipper on his jacket.

"Oh," she manages. Rachel feels sorry for the boy, truly, but she can't deny that she isn't the slightest bit happy that the two are over. "Over what?"

"Well, I went over to her house one night and she wanted to watch "The 700 Club", so we did. And it was really boring and about half-way through the program I started thinking about Jesus and how he rose from the dead. And I thought to myself, wouldn't that make Jesus a zombie? And during a commercial break I asked her that and she got really offended. Then, she started lecturing me about how I don't respect her religion and then all of the sudden she said that all this stems from the fact that I don't really love her. So, she dumped me,"

"Oh," she says again, since she really isn't sure what an appropriate response would be to that. And after a moment of thinking about what she should say, she hesitantly responds, "Well, technically you aren't wrong. I mean if someone rises from the dead, they usually are a zombie. At least that's what happens in all those corny Halloween movies."

He smiles at her and chuckles. "I'm glad you see my point,"

And then Finn grabs his belongings and makes to leave, but not before offering Rachel a ride home. She accepts his offer with a smile.

Rachel wasn't brought up with a heavy religious background and never necessarily believed in a higher power. But after that day she discovers a new appreciation for Jesus.

A month passes since Finn and Quinn broke up and though Rachel's relationship with Finn has become stronger and the two have become closer, she can't deny the fact that she isn't a little heartbroken that he didn't instantly ask her to be his girlfriend.
But they do go on dates or at least, things similar to dates. Finn would take Rachel to the movies and to dinner at little restaurants and always opened the door for her or pulled out her chair for her to sit. And whenever her dads asked her where she was going, she would nonchalantly say, "Oh, just out with the boyfriend." Because technically he was her boyfriend; he was a boy and he was her friend. And if that wasn't a boyfriend, Rachel didn't know what was.

One day after glee club had finished early with rehearsal and Finn approached Rachel and invited her to a football game. It was one the biggest games of the season, Finn explained and he wanted someone who meant so much to him in the stands rooting for him. Though she was flattered by what he said, Rachel cringed at the thought of going to the game. She thought about the bleachers and how uncomfortable the cold metal was to sit on and how climbing up them was an arduous, and possibly fatal, task. What if she fell and broke her ankle trying to maneuver her way up to the top? Not only would she die of embarrassment, but glee would be without their choreographer for weeks, possibly months. And what if the night she was gone a Broadway producer or a movie director happened to be looking at her Myspace page? She would have no recent material uploaded that night for them to look at. But then she thought about how important this game was to Finn and how her being there was important to him, as well. She figured if it mattered to him, then it mattered to her and she would simply have to risk falling down the treacherous bleachers and toughing out the uncomfortable seats.

So, the night of the game she puts away her camera and goes to her closet to find something to wear. She's never been to a football game before, but from what she's seen on TV, most people dress casually and often wear their school's colors. Rachel decides on a red cardigan with a white tee shirt underneath. She pairs it with a pair of comfy jeans that hug in all the right places and a pair of flats, along with her gold star necklace. She curls hair and pulls it out of her face with a matching headband and watchfully applies her make up. From what she's also seen on TV, when a girl goes to a football game to watch the boy she likes play, the boy always ends up scoring the winning touchdown and when the game is over, he comes running to find the girl. And when he sees her, he says he wouldn't have been able to score that touchdown if he hadn't seen her beautiful face up in the crowd.

And then he kisses her.

And Rachel's sure tonight is going to end the same for her, minus the cliché lines and over-the-top acting.

She makes sure to lint roll her sweater several times and hairsprays numerous times her hair to make sure not one ringlet comes loose. Tonight's going to be special. And she wants to look good while it happens.

Rachel feels out of place when she arrives at the stadium. She doesn't recognize anyone in the stands, but someone calls to her and she's relieved to hear a familiar voice. "Rachel! Over here!"

It's Finn's mother shouting to her. Rachel and Finn's mother have a much stronger relationship than Finn knows. Finn introduced them the first time Rachel came over to her house. Rachel found her very amiable and easy to converse with, and she began to feel a bit like her daughter, though she would never disclose this to Finn or his mother. Having two dads was great, especially ones that spoiled her, but she had always wished she had a woman in her life to look up to and come to for advice. Finn's mother did just that for Rachel. Rachel recalled one time she brought over a cake she baked and decorated herself for Finn's mother on her birthday. Finn was still at football practice, but Rachel didn't feel awkward spending time with his mother while he was absent. After all, if she played her cards right, this could have been her future mother-in-law. The two women spent hours chatting over slices of chocolate cake and glasses of skim milk. From that day, Rachel and Finn's mother have been extremely close. "Hi, Ms. Hudson!" Rachel greeted, as Rachel cautiously made her way towards the friendly face.

"How have you been, dear?"

"I'm doing well. Are you excited for the game?"

"Oh, of course. My baby's going to make me very proud," Rachel giggled.

The women continued conversing casually, when Ms. Hudson asked, "Are you and Finn dating?"

"Oh-oh, no, no. We're just friends. Very good friends," Rachel stammered, her cheeks becoming red and warm.

"Oh, that's such a shame. You two would make the perfect couple," Ms. Hudson replied earnestly, before adverting her attention back to the game that was about to begin.

Rachel could not have agreed more.

The game closed with Puck throwing the football to Finn, who carried the ball to the end-zone where he scored the winning touchdown. Finn's teammates congratulated him with enthusiastic high-fives and clumsy hugs. Rachel and Ms. Hudson rushed down the bleachers to praise him, as well. "Baby, you were magnificent!" Ms. Hudson greeted, as she planted big, wet kisses on his cheeks.

"Mom, mom-," Finn said, trying to get his mother to calm down and quit embarrassing him.

"But, honey, you were wonderful out there! I'm so proud of you! Is that Susanna over there?" She said, before running over to go brag to all the other moms how wonderful her son was.

"Congratulations!" Rachel exclaimed, once they were alone. "Granted, I had no idea what was going on the majority of the time."

"It was so amazing, Rachel. I was so amazing," Finn replied, breathlessly.

"You were amazing, that's for sure," Rachel responded, trying to sound mysterious and enticing. At any moment now, he was going to kiss her and ask her to be his girlfriend. Even though, in her head he was already her boyfriend.

"I'm so glad you made it, Rach!" He says, before giving her a bone-crushing hug. Finn is a little smelly, but Rachel doesn't mind. "I'm going to go find Quinn."

"Quinn?"

"Yeah, we got back together before the game started. Actually, I think that's the reason why I played so well. Just knowing that we're together and how much I love her, just really started something in me, you know?"

"Well, I-I-I'm really happy for you," Rachel said trying to sound enthusiastic. But she was never that great of an actress.

"Finn!" Quinn shouts, as she gestures for him to come over to her.

"I gotta go, Rachel. But thanks for coming! You're a great friend!"

Boy did that word sting.

Finn goes over to Quinn and greets her with an overjoyed kiss; the kiss that should have been for Rachel.

Rachel decides to walk the short distance between her house and the school, rather than have her dads pick her up. On the way home, she does her best to keep the tears building in her eyes from falling and potentially destroying her make-up that she spent so much time applying. She tries not to think about how many times she lint-rolled her sweater or ironed her jeans, just so she could look nice for Finn. She tries not to think about how even though he had something as unsightly as helmet hair after the game, Finn still was the most handsome boy Rachel had ever seen. She tries not to think about how he never was her boyfriend; no ifs, ands, or buts about it. She tries not to think about her laugh was never pitch-perfect and her hair didn't flip in all the right ways or how anything that she did for him was never good enough for him, or at least, never as good as Quinn.

But she can't help but think about how all her efforts just seem like a big waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

Fin.
Reviews would be spectacular. :]