Somebody's Got a Secret

Footsteps echoed off the floor as he made his way down the short corridor of the ship. It was late and he figured no one else would be up. He felt bad about being so distant but he couldn't tell her. He couldn't hurt her like that. He slowly rounded a corner into the control room. He heaved a sigh of relief to find himself alone.

"D.E.C.A. is anyone else awake?" Andros addressed the computer

Before the computer could give a response Andros heard footsteps approaching. Ashley awoke to the sounds of someone trying to walk stealthy past her door. At this time of night who would be up? Ashley moaned softly, looking at the clock and groaned. She got up and pulled on a pair of slippers, and pulled on her thin bathrobe, prepared to yell at whoever would be walking around this late...no early in the morning. As she rounded the corner she heard Andros start to ask if anyone else was up, she walked in, startling Andros.

"Andros? What are you doing up so late?" Ashley asked stifling a yawn.

Andros turned around to see Ashley standing there in a bathrobe and slippers. He'd been trying to avoid her the past few days. It was eating away at him but he couldn't let her know.

"A-Ashley," he stammered.

"I...I was just um...making sure we were on course," Andros lied, running a hand through his hair.

Ashley raised her eyebrow up, "Can't Alpha do that?" she crossed her arms around her chest. He looked really nervous. She wondered why he is always like this around her; it is like he is hiding something. She had a crush on him since he first rescued them from Astronema, but he never picked up on any of the signals that Ashley had sent.

"Ok I am too tired to contemplate, what you are trying to say through that obvious lie. So what are you doing?" Ashley said yawning.

Andros turned his back on her. Why was she putting all this pressure on him? It was late and he just wanted to be alone. But this was Ashley and he didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"Just...thinking, that's all," he replied. It was a truth. He was thinking.

"What are you doing up so late?" he questioned, trying to change the subject.

She thought for a moment, seeming satisfied with his answer. Ashley rubbed her eyes, and looked at him, "Well, I was sleeping until I got woken up by someone clattering around the ship," she snapped, but instantly looked guilty.

"Sorry for the crabby attitude, but I like my sleep." She yawned again. She looked at him once again, looking like he was holding back on something.

"Want any company since I probably won't be able to get back to sleep?" and she wouldn't either, hard for her to get back to sleep, once woken.

"Sure," he answered half-heartedly. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. After all he had been thinking about her. Clearly not that way but did it really matter? He sat down and waited for her to join him. He could hear Zhane's voice in his head. It kept talking about all the questions she had asked about Andros.

"The stars are pretty tonight," he said off-handedly, looking out the window to his left. The stars? What was wrong with him? He was pretty sure that what he had just said had come off completely wrong.

"Yeah they are," Ashley said, sitting next to him, chair opposite, not seeming to notice what he said as a bad thing. She wondered what he was thinking about. Ashley didn't want to ask, fearing he would just push her away again.

He could feel her next to him. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. He couldn't lose it in front of her. Andros finally decided he needed to stop being a wuss and tell her. It was the fairest thing to do. So, slowly he turned to face her.

"There is something I should tell you," he began. He hoped she wouldn't be too upset. Ashley turned to him, surprised that he was opening up about something.

"Yeah?" She wondered what he was going to say, hoping it wasn't something bad. She saw a panicked, but serious look on his face. "What's wrong?" she asked him, as she saw a bead of sweat roll down his face. He cleared his throat.

"Well...I...I think you are a great person and I value you as a friend," he managed to get out. Oh great. It sounded like he was breaking up with her! Idiot!

"That didn't come out right," he interrupted himself.

"What I mean to say was..."he trailed off.

Without finishing his sentence he leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. This was the only way he could explain it to her. Andros pulled back and looked her in the eyes.

"What did you feel?" he asked.

Ashley looked at him confused. He meant that little kiss? She wasn't sure herself what was in it. At first she was just happy that it happened. But now that she thought about it, she wasn't really sure. She really didn't feel anything, and she wasn't even sure it was supposed to mean anything. She felt like she had walked into a theater while half of the movie had already been playing.

"Andros, I don't understand what you mean," she said in a shocked voice.

Andros sighed. This was getting complicated very quickly. He couldn't form the words to admit what he wanted to. He hoped this time she would understand. He cupped her cheek in his hand and kissed her again, this time with more feeling. He let his arm slip around her neck. He took longer to pull away, leaving her breathless.

"What about now?" he queried.

Now Ashley was even more confused. He was kissing her, and was expecting to know what he meant by a kiss. Other girls may be able to tell what a guy meant, but she was having trouble. She stayed silent for a moment more.

"Well, I feel breathless, and surprised you are doing that." She paused. "I am sorry Andros, I know you are trying to tell me something, but I still am not getting what you mean,"

He got up and started to pace. It wasn't that hard. Or maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe she hadn't been attracted to him in the first place. If that was the case then he had screwed up, horrendously.

"So...you didn't feel any...attraction then?" he finally let it out. He stopped pacing and looked at her.

Oh, she finally understood what he was meaning. She had a definite attraction to him, but he didn't leave any butterflies or some feeling, of anything. The kiss may have been good, but there was nothing behind it. She didn't know what to say without sounding weird.

"No..." she said slowly, exhaling through her nose. She had wanted to say that she was attracted to him, but it seemed like he didn't feel the same way.

"I guess you don't feel the way about me, like I do you," she sighed. She should have known not to get her hopes up.

"It's...not what you think," he explained quickly.

"I just...can't feel that way about you," Andros murmured, distancing himself from her slightly. He had only ever spoken those words to one person and that person had sworn to keep the secret.

Ashley connected the dots inside of her own mind, and she knew something like this was going to happen to her sometime. She just wished that it wasn't true.

"Oh," she murmured. Then she thought of how many times she practically threw herself at him. She didn't want to cry about it, and yet she started to cry.

"I'm sorry for throwing myself at you," and with that she started to get up to walk back to her quarters.

"Ashley, wait," Andros called, running after her. He caught her by the arms.

"You don't have to apologize. I just...only one other person knows and he knows how important it is to me not to tell anyone," he told her. He could be scared of what other people would say. It was human. He only thanks the stars that he not loved since his sister had been taken.

"I should be the one apologizing. I led you on. Please forgive me," he breathed.

Ashley gently pulled one arm away from his grasp to wipe the tears coming out of her eyes. She finally calmed herself down enough so Andros wouldn't think she was being a bitch about it.

"You can't help who you do or don't have feelings for. I understand Andros." Ashley whispered. She wiped at more tears, wishing they would just stop pouring out of her eyes.

"It is ok," she said, finally forcing the tears to stop themselves from coming back. Ashley should have been able to see the signs before, and just not continue to try and win him over.

Just when Andros was about to say something footsteps echoed in the hallway behind them. He turned to see Zhane approaching them. The blond surveyed the couple before him. He could see the tear streaks on Ashley's cheeks and the anxious look in his best friend's eyes.

"I'm not interrupting something am I?" he asked softly.

"Sort of," Andros answered.

"Did you...tell her?" Zhane whispered in Andros' ear.

Zhane didn't even need to hear his answer after he saw the look on Andros' face, and the fact that Ashley's eyes were bloodshot from crying. Zhane felt so bad for Ashley. He knew that she had a crush on Andros. Ashley sniffled, and tried to fix herself up, but she knew that Zhane had either heard or seen her crying about something.

"No, we were just getting done," she was too tired to notice that Zhane had whispered in Andros' ear, and had not connected that Zhane knew Andros' dark secret.

Zhane looked at his friend and figured he'd try to do a little damage control. Andros seemed to know what Zhane had in mind and turned and walked a few paces down the corridor. The blond pulled Ashley too him.

"I know it hurts, right now. You have no idea how hard it is for him to deal with this. On top of everything he's been through," he murmured to her.

"He doesn't like feeling vulnerable," he added with a small laugh. He caught her eye and he seemed to read her mind.

"I'm the other person who knows," he concluded.

Ashley didn't say anything. She felt like a fool. She developed too much of a crush on him, and she got hurt in the end. She was glad she was with someone that knew about Andros, but she really wasn't in the mood to talk. Zhane knew that she probably wasn't in the mood to talk still, so he just pulled her into a tight hug.

Andros watched the exchange. He knew Zhane would keep his secret. He only hoped that Ashley would understand. He was a very private person. He couldn't help that. He was feeling very uncomfortable. Zhane glanced over his shoulder and cleared his throat again.

"I am heading back to bed," he muttered and left his friends alone once more.

"Night," Ashley said to Zhane's retreating form.

She looked towards Andros, who still looked really uncomfortable. Ashley was starting to feel ok now; she just wished that Andros was able to tell her before she got too attached.

Ashley walked over towards Andros, and sighed. "If you are worried about me saying anything I won't. I promise,"

"Thank you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before," he mumbled. He wanted to give her a hug but he wasn't sure if it was appropriate. He bit his lower lip and finally gave in. He wrapped his arms around her loosely.

"You should get back to sleep," he told her after he had broken the embrace. Ashley was glad that this was all settled now. She could finally stop pining over him, and let him have his space.

"Don't you worry I will, but you need to get some too." Ashley patted his shoulder, and started to head for her quarters again.

"Night," she called over her shoulder.

Andros watched her turn the corner and breathed a sigh of relief. He headed in the opposite direction until he reached a closed door. He entered the key code and the door slid open. In the room, Zhane was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. At the sound of the door opening, his gaze turned to lock on his friend. He immediately sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed.

"Thank you," Andros said softly, sitting down next to his friend.

"Just glad you finally did it. Because if you hadn't. I would have had to do it. You were driving me crazy," Zhane answered with a laugh. Andros shyly tucked a strand of hair behind his ear as he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on the other man's cheek.

"Flirt," Zhane accused as Andros stood up and walked out.