Title: Enough
Rating: K+
Fandom: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles, Infinity Arc.
Summary: Sakura is mourning the loss of Syaoran and struggling to come to terms with who she really is and her role in Fei Wang Reed's plans when Kurogane offers some words of wisdom.
Warnings: Brief use of swear words from Kurogane. SPOILERS for Infinity, Celes and Nihon arc.
Disclaimer: Characters, names and places belong to CLAMP.
Enjoy!
He's gone.
Syaoran. My Syaoran-kun was gone.
My hands gripped the porch banister as I blankly gazed at the dull glow of Infinity's city lights. I couldn't believe it. The one I cared about the most had been torn from me, and I was powerless to prevent it. What was I to do? I sank to the steps, my head in my hands. I felt tears well up and I couldn't help but cry. My voice reached ridiculous tones and I wailed loudly, feeling all my frustration and anger and grief pour out of me. It was too much; I didn't want to believe, didn't want to face the reality of who he was… and what I was.
I was just like him.
After a while I calmed, reduced to sniffles as I wiped my face. Syaoran wouldn't have wanted me to cry. I looked up, staring at the vast expanse of Infinity, trying to imagine if the other Sakura would have done the same.
I heard movement behind me, and I turned slightly to the invader of my peace. Heavy boots scraped across tile, and I saw a long dark shadow streak across the porch. I looked back at the wide sprawling city as Kurogane-san sat on the steps beside me. He held a glass of sake loosely in his hand, and he stared into the liquid. I swallowed deeply, trying hard to keep myself from bursting into tears again.
A heartbeat later he spoke. "He is the same person." Kurogane-san said, swirling the clear liquor in the glass. "You shouldn't try to push him away." My heart jumped and then dropped into my throat, and I knew what he said was right. But still…
"How can you tell me that when I know it isn't the Syaoran-kun I've known all this time?" I whispered, my vision clouding, "When I've trusted him and believed in him and cared for him…" I stopped as my breath hitched, and tears ran down my face. I turned away, and made to get up when I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders.
The ninja pulled me back to my spot on the steps, keeping his arm firmly on my back. I sat for a brief moment sniffling, wanting so bad to let myself go, but I didn't think Kurogane-san would have appreciated me bawling beside him. It was then I felt his hand tentatively squeeze my shoulder, and Kurogane-san offered his glass to me.
"Don't go all funny on me," he said, and I looked up, blinking at him. I saw the briefest shadow of a smile on his face before it vanished to a somber stare. I could feel him analyzing me- he wanted to make sure I would be alright. I took the sake from him and lifted it to my mouth. I wondered if he could see through me like he had done to Syaoran-kun back in Tokyo.
"Everything, eventually, will turn out the way we want it." Kurogane-san said, bringing me out of my reverie. "Sur, crap like this will happen- but we still go on. We still get up every morning because we're hoping for a damn good time, because something drives us to keep going. Hell, I'm still here because I have something that keeps me going." Kurogane-san glanced at me again, and I nodded as I rubbed my nose on my sleeve. I didn't need to ask what he meant.
Kurogane-san looked up to the skies, his eyes following a star streaking across the black expanse. I imagined if Syaoran-kun was on one of those worlds, so far away. Instead of letting tears fall, I focused on the sake, taking another small sip.
He sighed. "Don't give up just because things are not going the way you want." He shifted in his spot, and a moment passed before he spoke again. "Heh- whatever. That's just my opinion. Some ninja-wisdom for you," Kurogane-san said gruffly, leaning his forearms on the step behind him, his voice and attitude back to the usual brusque Kurogane-san.
I handed his sake back. His words had helped me more than he could ever imagine. "No," I said quietly, smiling a little. "It is enough."