[Enter HEMEIONE in MUGGLE CITY]

HERMEIONE: I will go into a muggle town and give myself a totally unnecessary makeover so that I can look like the author! Yuppie!

She DOES. She straightens her hair and adds highlights. She also visits the SLUTTIEST store in the city and buys the most outrageous clothes.

HERMEIONE: Ooh! I have some DOLLARS left so I will pierce my belly! Ooh, what fun!

She pierces her belly and gets a few tattoos with her leftover DOLLARS. The author seems to FORGET that she is BRITISH and people in Britain use POUNDS not DOLLARS.

By now, most of the readers have left due to the horrible mutilation of Hermione's character.

~

[Enter DRACO and LUCIUS in MALFOY MANOR]

LUCIUS: Draco, you will come with me to the Dark Lord so that you can be initiated.

DRACO: I don't wanna go.

LUCIUS: WHY?

DRACO: *shrugs* I dunno.

DRACO runs away. Oh, and did I mention he has cut his hair short and doesn't wear gel anymore because the author likes it that way better?

~

[Enter HERMEIONE in HOGWARTS EXPRESS]

HERMEIONE: Ooh, look at mee! I'm a Prefect!

HERMEIONE enters the Prefects compartment looking SLUTTY with her developed-over-one-summer self.

The author describes DRACO's reaction to HERMEIONE with the words "HOT" "SEXY" and "BEAUTIFUL"

[Enter Prefects after FEAST in GREAT HALL]

McGONAGALL: All the Prefects are sharing a DORM because the author likes it that way, even if it IS a fact that prefects sleep in their OWN dorms.

DRACO and HERMEIONE are UPSET.

[Enter Prefects in DORM]

HERMEIONE stares at DRACO and the author describes her thoughts with the words, "CUTE" "HOT" "SEXY"

They STARE at each other. The other PREFECTS are conveniently ABSENT.

They SNOG passionately. (In versions with higher rating replace SNOG PASSIONATELY with SHAG LIKE RABBITS)

HERMEONE: Oh, Draco, I love you. I don't care if you are my mortal enemy, and tried to expel my best friends countless times, and call me a MUDBLOOD.

DRACO: I love you too, Hermione. I don't care if you are a MUDBLOOD and best friends with POTTY and WEASEL.

More Snogging/Shagging follows.

The readers that actually read the story are mentally scarred for life.

~

Well, hope you like it :) I'll edit it and add more but I don't have a lot of time now.

The review button isn't going to press itself you know ^_^