I

Everything was spinning. It was making me dizzy. My head throbbed with a hazy, lazy pain that was only barely outside my consciousness. I felt nausea that was much more perceivable through the potent cocktail of drugs in my system. I threw myself forward as I felt my stomach eject its contents. My vision was blurred and I could barely see the mess I had made on the floor.

"NiNa. ArE yOu OkAy?" I heard the monotonously robotic voice of the FX-7 medical droid outside the door. I felt my head loll in the direction of the door. Rolling the joints in my neck like a hinge that was tired of fighting gravity. I heard the droid playing with the door locks in an attempt to get into the washroom I had barricaded myself in. I even vaguely remember disabling the unlock feature on the door. I couldn't for the life of me remember why I had done that. I pushed myself back against the wall lifelessly. Everything whirled and twisted sickly around me.

I moved my arm off my lap and knocked over glass bottles. Bottles of the strongest alcohol I could find. One bottle tapped my cigarette pack. It was empty save for the lighter. Virtually of no more use to me. The door made a loud rumbling sound, signalling that FX had managed to disable the lock. Probably having to do so in a very roundabout way to reverse the disengage I had put on the lock.

"WhAt HaVe YoU dOnE nOw?" The droid chastised. Though I was so far away I couldn't really care less. The droid rolled up to me with several of its many arms extending. "NiNa, ThEsE aRe HiGhLy IlLeGaL aNd DeAdLy. YoU sAiD yOu DiSpOsEd Of ThEm." I didn't care much for the accusing tone the hunk of metal was using with me.

"I lied." I snapped. Following that statement quickly was a fit of coughing that turned to dry heaving. My stomach still unhappy and very nauseous. This was the crash that came after the high. The pain in my head was becoming more intense as my vision was beginning to clear. I felt a few of the robotic limbs touching me and I batted them away. I didn't want to be helped. I wanted to feel the pain and misery as twisted as it sounded.

"Do NoT mAkE mE rEsTrAiN yOu." FX said sternly. I scoffed. "I wIlL sEdAtE yOu."

"Didn't you plan on doing that anyway?" I snapped again. "You do usually."

"YoU aLwAyS iNsIsT oN fIgHtInG mE." The droid snapped back.

"Then why do you always insist on helping me?" I growled.

"BeCaUsE i CaNnOt AlLoW yOu To DiE tHiS wAy."

"As opposed to?"

FX had enough of my sarcastic disobedience as it rammed a needle into my side. I hissed at the pain but it, and everything else, quickly melted away and I was left unconscious.

I sat up from a dead sleep with a sudden inhale. I looked around the small sleeping area of my ship. It was quiet, dark and empty. I laid back with a small groan. I heaved myself out of the bed noticing I had been stripped of my pants, boots and jacket. Leaving me in my underwear and undershirt. No doubt FX's doing though why was beyond me. I'd passed out in my clothes before.

I didn't bother putting my clothes back on as I left the tiny room allotted for sleeping and recreation. As I stretched I saw FX idle in the corner opposite of the pilot's seat.

"You're a piece of shit you know that?" I said. Addressing the droid as I noticed the new bandages that were on my arm as well as where FX had hit me with the sedative. The droid woke with a mechanical whirring and it's LED sight screen lit up like a human opening their eyes.

"AnD yOu ArE a CuNt." The FX replied. I was taken aback by this new advance in it's vocabulary.

"When'd you pick that bit of english up?" I asked.

"I dOwNlOaDeD iT aNd SeVeRaL oThErS wHeN i ImPoRtEd A dIcTiOnAry."

"Huh." I acknowledged. I yawned and leaned back as far as I could. Hearing my spine crack. I fell into my seat as the pilot and hoisted my feet onto the console.

"WhErE iS yOuR sTaSh, NiNa?" FX asked as he rolled up beside me.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked. I pulled a fresh pack of cigarettes of of the underside pocket of my console. I usually kept at least three packs there. Taking the current one out I noticed it was the last one in there.

"So I mAy DiSpOsE oF iTs CoNtEnTs." FX said honestly. I didn't think droids could lie. Luckily enough for me this one's AI wasn't so advanced it could learn how.

"That's why I'm not telling you." I answered. Putting the filter between my teeth and lighting the other end.

"ThAt Is A fIrE hAzArD aNd DeTrImEnTaL tO yOuR hEaLtH."

"Yup. You are incredibly observant." I agreed. "This makes. What? The one thousandth time you've noticed this?" I took a drag while staring out at the vastness of space through the windshield. I was on the outskirts of any known civilized galaxy. On the very edge of the unknown where few explored and many dangers hid. Not for lack of trying, there were many explorers who tried to chart the blackout sections and uncharted star systems, There were few who returned to tell the tales however.

"I aM tUrNiNg oN tHe VeNtIlAtIoN sYsTeM bEfOrE yOu SuCcUmB tO CO2 pOiSOnInG." FX said. Extending a metallic arm to tap keys on the console around my still extended legs.

"Blow me." I retorted. Blowing smoke with the next exhale. "If my behavior bothers you so much, why don't you just leave?"

"We ArE iN dEaD sPaCe WiTh No EsCaPe PoDs. AnOtHeR hAzArD." FX responded. I rolled my eyes.

"We dock on industrialized planets. I'm sure whatever company made you would be happy to take your shiny metal ass back." I pointed out. When I found FX-7 I had been on a dump planet. A giant hunk of rock made mostly of garbage. I had been doing my best to distract myself from the burning hatred inside me and my feelings of complete and utter betrayal but that's neither here nor there.

I'd found FX-7 broken, in pieces and with no AI to speak of. Essentially stripped for scrap. With some hard work and long sleepless nights, I restored the droid to full working capacity and even enhanced the AI. The damned bucket of scrap had followed me ever since.

"I cAnNoT aBaNdOn YoU. I aM pRoGrAmMeD tO pRoViDe MeDiCaL sErVicE tO aLl In NeEd." FX responded. Turning to face me. The air was hazy with the smoke and with a crash the vents kicked on and the air began to clear. I tapped the ash off on the ashtray that was embedded in my chair.

"I programmed you, remember?" I said giving the metal a gentle knock. Not so much to avoid hurting the droid as much as to avoid bruising my knuckles. "Are you saying you think I need you?"

"WhAt YoU nEeD i CaNnOt PrOvIdE." FX said forebodingly. "I cAn OnLy KeEp YoU aLiVe UnTiL wHaT yOu NeEd FiNdS yOu. ThUs In A wAy. YoU dO nEeD mE."

"Could you have found a longer explanation for your AI learning to feel affection?" I asked bluntly.

"YeS."

I chuckled. I wasn't sure how FX's AI learned such mortal flaws such as affection and sarcasm but the nagging feeling in my gut said it was from me.

"Well despite the grief you give me and the nagging you always do. I think I can say it's mutual." I said good naturedly. I doubted I would ever say aloud I actually liked the medical droid that would question every decision I made. Or confess the amount I did care for the bot that routinely saved my ass from an overdose. I could recognize for a fact that I was a bitch to get along with and perhaps the droids lack of morality was what allowed him to take the abuse I routinely delivered.

I wasn't stupid. I knew I was… damaged. I knew I wouldn't be accepted back into society as I was. I was too broken. At least among the fringes of society were others who understood. There is a point of breaking that you can't reverse. Once you've been damaged as badly as I have there is nothing more that can be offered. You fall off the edge of the world, and into obscurity. I fell. Rejected. Cast out. Unwanted. Abandoned.

And I resented every single one of them for it.

We floated further among the dead space. With no direction or hurry to get wherever it was we were going. After a few hours of staring into nothingness and slipping slowly into madness I hauled myself into the washroom. I had to pause my plans and clean up the giant mess I had left. Not faulting FX for it as his mechanical arms were ill-equipped for cleaning and hopped into the shower. It was short, the hot water heater on my ship was not large nor well equipped enough to handle long showers. There would be bad days where I would linger in ice cold water staring at nothing until FX warned me about hypothermia from outside the shower.

Being made of electrical equipment FX would never enter the shower. It was safe from FX while on. Though I didn't doubt FX would retrieve me if I needed retrieving. I dried off in the washroom, throwing the towel and my used underwear into the laundry chute. It was more or less a vacuum tube that led to a small machine that would wash and dry my clothes when full. It would spit out a finished load into a basket that I would fetch, fold and put away.

I knew some ships had machines and droids that would fetch, fold, iron, mend and organize laundry but I didn't have such a luxury. Not in my beat up little starship. It barely had any room for living space. I had repurposed an old scouting vessel into more or less a traveling flat.

I walked out of the washroom naked, knowing no one on board was going to care. I grabbed the basket of laundry and dumped it on my bed and placed the basket back where it belonged. I rummaged through the clean clothes, debating whether or not it was worth putting them on or even away. I wasn't planning on company and the thought of being found by anyone this far out was laughable.

I ended up folding the clothes and putting them away before choosing a pair of boyshorts to pull on. I couldn't be bothered to make the bed and instead moved back to the pilot's chair and sat in it.

"FX. What's our supply count at?" I asked idly. Still peeved about having gone through two of my stashed packs of cigarettes. I knew that meant I was getting low on cigarettes.

"We ArE aT 20% fUeL aNd 40% CoNsUmAbLe GoOdS." FX reported dutifully.

"Uh-huh… What about non-consumable goods?" I asked.

"15%"

"Uh-huh." I nodded. Looking out into space. I turned on the console and began looking through my map for a nearby inhabited planet to dock and resupply on. "FX print me out a shopping list." I lit a new cigarette and plotted out a course to a close industrialized planet for resupply. I turned on my autopilot and walked into my bedroom as the engines turned on and the ship began moving. I jumped forward a small step as the thrusters propelled forward. I opened the drawer and pulled out my clothes and slowly slid them on. In no real hurry as we still had a few hours before I would even see the planet.

I walked back to the pilot's seat and fell into it hard. Kicking my feet back upon the console. I picked up the half finished cigarette and relit it and finished it as I watched the stars in the distance. Watching for anything unexpected to arise. It was quiet. Not even FX was making noise. Just his hard drive buzzing lowly in the background. Signalling he was still mindful.

I wanted to get into my stash, I wanted to go under. However FX would find it firstly since he encoded himself to prevent my tampering with him ever since he discovered me redirecting his power supply and forcing him to shut down. Plus, with coordinates in and me on my way to a planet the last thing I needed was to be pulled over by authorities while out of it and receive a citation for being under the influence.

I leaned back in my chair with a sneer. In a pretty terrible mood and what's worse. I'd burned through my last pack of cigarettes. I slunk in my seat tossing the useless pack into the incinerator. Watching as the planet I was heading for was becoming slightly visible in the far off distance.