Mike Annoys the Cast
An 'Invader Zim Fanfiction' by KidKourage and Mike-the-Brother
What Will We Do?!
This author note will likely be the only coherent part of this so-called 'story.' That is because it is being officially co-written with Mike-the-Brother. That is, instead of just staying in the background and offering momentary inspiration every once in a while, Mike is right here by my side telling me what to type. Heh…he is playing the role my subconscious plays in creating my other works. However, I'm not sure it's going to have the same effect. Basically, the backstory for this little piece of nonsense is this: Mike wants to do things within my storyline that he simply cannot, and so I am letting him do them here. That, my friends, is why I must precede this with a warning--do not expect a great literary masterpiece, do not even expect anything of the caliber that I normally write, but, by all means, expect insanity. By the way, this isn't in script form! Be afraid! Be very afraid! The different format fortells…eeeeeeeeeevil! Nooooooooooooooo! The beavers! The…beavers! Did I say this was going to be coherent? Well, as always, I lied! Muhahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa! I hope you like nightmare worlds!
One day, Mike was sitting downstairs playing 'Advance Wars' on his lovely purple Game Boy Advance. He was having some real trouble defeating his opponent, and screamed things like, 'Mortals! You think you can destroy my medium tank that I have?! I will slaughter youuuuu!' He was watching an Anime Music Video involving 'Tenchi Muyô!' and Weird Al Yankovic…which was probably distracting him, in retrospect. Oh, no, police! There was much screaming and death and…screaming.
'Michael knows what to do! Bwahahahahaaaaaaa!' Mike shrieked with glee. Then Computris said, '………………..' I will begin a new paragraph now!
Sammi the dog slept on the floor. She snored like a dog. That is because she is a dog. She is looking at me as I listen to the Backstreet Boys. They are full of evil…but the AMV is good, so I will listen.
'No, not again!' Mike fumed, 'That was a huge waste of my time!' He was sad and pouty because the fiendish opponent he had been fighting kept miraculously regenerating itself and grinning at him, which made him furious, but could not make him able to win. 'Now I must think of something else to do,' he thought to himself. He thought and thought and thought. He thought very hard, until his head exploded. The end.
Wait, Mike says that is not the end. He says, 'I haven't done anything yet.' I am typing what he is thinking in his head. He has not said it, but I know that he is thinking that. I am smart.
Then Mike thought, 'I know! I will go to skool!' He said 'skool,' and not 'school.' There is a subtle difference in pronunciation. 'Skool is fun, for it is fun to learn!' Mike giggled to himself, as his subconscious added, 'And it will be mucho caliente if I go and see my pals at skool too, for they are fun and cool!'
After that, Mike used his super teleportation powers to go to the Skool. He can do that. I have seen him do it. The dog has seen it too. She hears things. One time she saw a ghost. That is a different story…hopefully one that will make sense.
'I am here at the Skool,' Mike narrated his own life, 'and now the adventure will begin! I am talking to myself, because I am the only one around who will listen to me!'
Mike threw open the doors of the Skool and went inside. There were many classrooms and many hallways, many of which looked alike. He did not know where to go, because, in reality, this was not his real actual skool, but the skool of some of his imaginary friends that live in his sister's mind…I mean on TV. So, rather than wander around and get lost, Mike decided to use his X-ray vision power to see inside the classrooms and know whose classroom was whose. Why he did not simply look through the little glass windows on the doors of the classrooms, I do not know.
Finally, after much looking--and a light snack of crackers--Mike found Miz Bitters's classroom. This was the classroom he was looking for. He burst through the door, wailing, 'I found youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!'
'Oh my God!' some children screamed. 'My head is big and round!' Melvin said, and indeed it was. Then Sara ate her eraser until she was sad. It was wonderful. Wait. I must think of something. Okay, that's enough thinking for now.
'Hiiiiiiiiiiiii, everybody!' Mike said, waving wildly and grinning like a crazy maniac. 'Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Doctor Nick!' the children replied, with a glazed, hypnotized look in their eyes. Well, almost everybody replied. There were a couple kids who didn't. I'll bet you can't even guess who they were, can you. You are pretty smart, but not as smart as me, so I wouldn't be surprised if you cannot. I do not blame you. You are all my friends.
'Be silent, tall earth boy!' a green kid named Zim said, and he pointed a finger at Mike. 'I am not amused by your antics!'
'For once we agree, Zim!' another kid named Dib shouted as he jumped up from his desk and ran around in circles, 'This is not funny at all!'
Mike looked hard at these two young men. He gave them the Glare of Ouch My Face. They looked back at him. It was a staring contest. Whoever blinked first would lose. They stared and stared for several minutes, and then there was a big explosion. The end.
Wait, that is not the end. This is only the beginning! While all this was going on, Miz Bitters stood and looked on silently, a strange grin on her face. Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore and screamed at Mike, 'Dance with me, sweet cheeks!'
Mike looked up from his staring contest, which made Zim and Dib squeal with glee, because they had won the day. But little did they know, Mike was about to unleash horror upon them like their poor mortal minds could never understand.
'I will dance with you, crazy teacher lady who is spooky!' Mike yelled, holding out his hand to Miz Bitters, 'Let us go, everyone! To the cafeteria!'
'Whee! I feel like a pixie princess!' Miz Bitters said as she and Mike flew through the air to the cafeteria. 'Come on, children! We are going on a field trip to the cafeteria now!'
The children ran out of the room after the two happy, frightening people (Mike and Miz Bitters, you know). Zim and Dib remained behind, stunned and speechless. They could talk, though.
'What will we do?' Dib asked. 'Why should I tell you?' Zim replied. 'I was not asking you,' Dib sneered, 'you filthy alien.' 'Then who were you asking?' Zim asked, bemused. 'My secret friend Skeezmo!' Dib said, triumphantly, 'And we are going to make an amazing plan to stop that weird kid who is very annoying.' 'I doubt it very much, Dib-monkey,' Zim said, and rubbed his hands together in a very devious manner.
Meanwhile, in the cafeteria, the fun was about to begin. Mike and Miz Bitters jumped on a table and started dancing like Freddy and Daphne do in those old Scooby Doo cartoons. They danced and danced and danced. Then Lance said, 'Hello. Who am I?'
After coming to the cafeteria and watching the dance, some of the children were sad. 'We want to dance tooooooooooo,' Smolga shrieked, 'Dancing ROCKS!' Then The Letter M said, 'I too would like to express myself through dance.' Mike seemed puzzled by this. Usually no one likes to dance with him. Now he had his bestest friend, Miz Bitters, by his side, and many other people who would dance. He was so happy that he exploded. The end.
Mike decided that it was time to morph into Mike-the-Awesome, since he could dance better as a magical dude, and could use all kinds of magical powers that would be cool. He looked at the ceiling and took his magic wand out of his pocket (he is wearing Old Navy cargo shortz, for all those who are interested, because they have very big pockets that can hold a magic wand in them). Then he said, 'Magical Transformation Time!' He became Mike-the-Awesome, and everyone cheered.
'Now you can dance real good,' Miz Bitters giggled, 'And we will sure have some fun then, boy oh boy.' The children were also happy, because they very much wanted to dance. Oh no, wait, nobody wanted to dance. Mike had to hypnotize them first. I forgot about that part. With the hypnotizing. I forgot. I will put it in now.
Mike looked at the assembled mass of children and smiled, 'You will all dance with me. I will hypnotize you now.' 'Go for it, dude!' Miz Bitters cheered him on, 'Make them paaaaaaaaaay!'
'Hypnotize Beam!' he said, and everyone was hypnotized in an instant. Mike was happy and did a jig on the table. 'Now! My minions! Line up!' The children did as they were told, and made a long line that stretched the length of the cafeteria.
'Now…' Mike said, with a manic gleam in his eye, 'We will do…THE ELECTRIC SLIDE!!!!!!!!!!!'
And the children did the Electric Slide, as music played from out of nowhere. 'It's Electric! Boogie-woogie-woogie!' the children said gleefully. They became not hypnotized no more, but they kept dancing, because it made them smile. Many smiles happened and all were happy. Miz Bitters was happy.
Just then, the dog ran off after the towel, and she fell over. Then she jumped on the couch. I tell her, 'No, get off the couch! That is a bad dog that gets on the couch like a bad dog!' You can tell that Michael is off doing something else, because my mind is wandering. He is back and says this to me: 'WHAT?!?!?!?!' I will only write good things now. Hee! Hee!
After a long time of doing the Electric Slide, Mike-the-Awesome decided to liven things up a bit. 'Now we will do a flamenco dance!' he said, and everyone was glad to oblige. There was much tango-ing going on, and Miz Bitters had a rose in her teeth. That is not such a smart thing to do, since roses have thorns and might hurt. Mike is taking over with the typing now, because I am doing other things that are good. I hope that he can type good, because eye certynlee caint. After a while of flamenco-ing, Mike got tired of dancing for a while. He was tired, and could use some apple juice, or even orange-strawberry. He decided to stop for another snack. Maybe chips, or a healthy bran muffin. Mike likes to be healthy.
'Would you like to have a snack, scary lady?' asked Mike, because he is also very nice to others. 'Sure!' she said, 'Give me a piece of that bran!' Miz Bitters likes bran muffins. She won a bran muffin eating contest once. She is very proud.
After putting away the muffin in less than three seconds, Miz Bitters remembered that she had scheduled a test for her class. 'Class, we will be returning to the classroom to take a test on dancing. There will be a section where you will have to demonstrate a dance. Be prepared! This will count for 75 percent of your grade!' 'Bye, scary lady!' said Mike. Now he had no friends. He was sad…
Then Mike remembered that he had another friend at the skool. 'Gaz!' he thought to himself. 'Surely she will dance with me for a while!' Mike again used his X-ray vision until he could find Mr. Elliot's room. He is Gaz's teacher. He is very nice. He reminds me of that teacher on Hey Arnold! that is nice to everyone. 'He will definitely be nice to me,' thought Mike. 'I am just like that Arnold, for I can help to solve humorous problems in fifteen minute segments!'
Mike threw open the door to the classroom. 'Hi, people! I'm here to take your teacher far, far away so that he can play with me!!' said Mike. 'Hooray!' the children screamed, for they were tired of doing their multiplication tables. 'But, my class is very important to me,' whimpered Mr. Elliot. 'Okay, then, teacher man! They can all come with us to play!!' said Mike, because he liked to have a lot of friends. 'Let's all go to the playground and get dirty with the horrible sand out there!' 'Yay!! Sand ROCKS!!' said the equivalent of Smolga in Mr. Elliot's class. With that, they went to the playground.
'Let's all play tag for a while!' said Mike when the got there. 'Yay! I love tag,' said Mr. Elliot. They played and played and played. It was Mike's turn to be It. He decided to play real good and get someone real quick. To do that, he called upon his elastic-y powers. His arms got really long, and he was able to tag someone all the way across the playground. 'You are IT!!' Mike laughed and laughed. But the France people were not laughing. Wait. We're not in France. We're at the Skool. Okay, the tagged person was not laughing.
Mike was having a very good day. He got to dance, and have a snack, and even play tag with his new friends. The only thing that could make it better would be to blow some people up with his magical powers. 'Hold it right there, earth child!' said a familiar voice (I have no idea how to make Zim talk good, so you have to make pretend for a while, okay?). 'That's right, Mike. Your reign of terror ends here!' said another voice.
'Yay!' said Mike. He would be able to have even more fun after all. 'We have devised a plan that will thwart your powers of happiness and dancing!' screamed Zim. 'HAHAHAHAHA!' he said. He was very happy to have a plan. 'Yeah! We made a plan that is so cool, it's…really cool!' said Dib. Gaz, who hasn't been in the story yet, said, 'Boy, Dib, that was a real smart thing to say.' 'For once, you are right, earth girl!' said Zim, 'That was really not a…not…smart thing to say! Haha!' Mike was sad. They weren't playing with him anymore. He decided to be the one to ask to play.
'Hey, green kid! Can I play with you some more? I like to play!' 'Of course, earth hero! We will…play! Of course we will! But, you will not be happy to play! That's right! You will be very sad at the commencement of our playing!' said Zim. Mike was confused. It was always fun to play. 'Maybe the green kid is sick,' thought Mike. 'After all, he is green.' Mike decided to help the green kid to feel better.
'You must be sick!' said Mike. 'You need to get some sleep, or else you will never get well!' 'What are you talking about, earth monkey?' Zim said, and he was confused, 'I am in the peak of physical and mental health! You must be trying to trick me! That's it! Well, it is my turn to be tricky! Come out, my new invention of evil! Come out, Hyper GIR!'
'At last,' thought Mike. 'A new friend to play with!' Mike was happy, and got ready to play. 'Hehe. Hahaha. HAHAHAHA!!! You will not be so eager to play when Hyper GIR is through with you!!' Zim exclaimed. Just then, the Skool exploded. The end.
Well, it was my turn to make it end stupidly. I had to do it. Now, back to reality.
What really happened was that the playground erupted to reveal an ultra-cool fighting arena, complete with box seating. Sammi the dog was very happy, because she could get quality seating. Anyway, the kids and Mr. Elliot got to their seats (Dib passed out pretty tickets with flower pictures) and Zim got his robot ready for the fight. Mike was even happier than before. 'Yay!!' he thought. 'Now I get to fight in a cool arena, complete with box seating!' A bell sounded from out of nowhere, and the battle began.
"Go, my ultra robot! Get that earth child before he can do anything magical! Then we will be able to take over the world and stuff, and things will be really scary then, boy, oh boy!' Zim said. 'Gosh, he seems really cranky,' thought Mike. 'I have to make him happy!' 'Hey, Zim! Don't blow it yet again, okay?' Dib said. 'How dare you?!' screamed Zim. 'I MADE this robot! I think I can handle it better than an earth monkey!' he said. He was really distracted. Mike saw an opening, and went for it.
'Hey, green kid and big-headed boy! You have to be nicer to each other!! Open up to the powers of love!' Mike said. His baton's jewel glowed blue as it powered up for the attack. Suddenly, a pretty pink beam with a diamond shape shot out from the stick. It went right to the two fighting boys. 'There! Now you will be happy!!' exclaimed Mike happily. Now they were hugging happily. 'It's so nice to be nice to you, Dib-monkey,' said Zim in a happy voice. 'Yes,' said Dib. 'Wouldn't it be nice if everyone was nice?' Mike was happy, because he had made people happy. But the robot was still sad. It was even more sad now that it was the only thing that was still sad. Mike wanted to help it be happy. He came up with an idea.
'Hey, robot! Do you want to dance with me??' asked Mike. The robot looked happier, even though it couldn't say it. It couldn't talk, you see. It couldn't even say 'Happy Birthday!' to its grandmother if it wanted to. But it was pretty happy anyway.
'Okay, Robot! Let's have an ultra techno dance party!' Then Mike's baton glowed again. 'Baton Flash!' said Mike when it was ready. That made the playground into a beautiful dance hall. It even had a disco ball. Then the robot and the children danced and danced and danced. Then Miz Bitters's class appeared, because they were done with their dance test. Nobody got an A, if you care to know. Miz Bitters would only give an A to a good dancer; Mike would get an A.
Anyway, they were happy dancing when the magical-ness on Zim and Dib wore off. Oh, well, they can't be happy forever. 'Boy, Zim! You sure ruined it again!' said Dib. 'You are the one that ruined everything, earth scum! You broke my perfect concentration and it was ruined. So it was YOU that ruined things!' Zim retorted. 'Well I think you both ruined it,' said Gaz, who took the staff entrance to the dance hall. She had left the playground to get her Game Slave when Mike cast the spell, but she managed to get in. Mike was happy, except that he didn't like the two of them arguing. He thought it would be nice to help Zim to win an argument. He thought yet another idea, and set it in motion!
'Zim! You need to be able to talk out your problems! And tell your friends when you are sad!' Mike said. 'Baton Wish!' The baton glowed yet again, and Zim gained magical powers! He was very happy that he would be able to get back at the Dib-monkey. 'Boy, that was pointless, Mike! He could never win an argument! He is too stupid to do that!' said Dib. Zim erupted, and grew really big! 'I am no stoopy-poopy ZIIIIM!' he sang with a beautiful voice, 'I will show you, my rival! And your life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life won't end in survival!! YEAH YEAH!!' 'Wow, Zim…I have nothing to say to that. I guess you won!' said Dib. 'HAHAHAHA! Now who is the superior one!?' cried Zim happily.
Mike was happy that everyone was happy. He decided that he had had enough fun for one day. He wanted to sleep. So he decided to use his powers to fly home. So he did. He went home and took a nap. Well, I guess that's it. Bye!
Well…that is the end of the story that Mike and I wrote together, but that he mostly wrote because he had more better-er ideas than me. Wasn't it spooky? I mean HAPPY?! Now Mike will never again be able to say that I do not let him do things in my stories, for I have let him do many good things of happiness and love…that will possibly jeopardize my good name as a fanfiction author forever. Wait, that is mean. Mike is a very good writer and he is a better writer than me, which is evidenced by this horrible near-run-on sentence. You will praise him now with many reviews, won't you? If you do not…something will happen. SOMETHING!! You are so scared that you will review, aren't you? The dog is watching me. She so purdy…like a happy nice review! Now I am using subliminal messages on you! Fun! Oh no…the story…my brain is…melting…from the happiness…aargh! And then KidKourage exploded.
The End!