Above the Clouds
"He doesn't love me."
"Really? And how do you know that? Have you asked him?"
"Not in so many words?"
"I'll take that as a no."
"Cath, just leave it, please."
"If you board that plane Sara, you'll never see him again."
"I know that. I do, but it was his choice and he said nothing."
"He's scared."
"Yeah, well. so am I."
"It's not like he shows emotion everyday Sara. This is new for him."
"No. That's just it Cath. It's not new for him. He's been through relationships that ended badly and he's avoiding the same thing he's always avoiding."
"And that is?"
"Commitment."
"That's crap. Grissom's probably the most committed guy I know."
"To his job, not a relationship. I've never been in a long term relationship because they've all ended badly."
"Doesn't mean the same thing will happen now."
"Yes it does. It's already happened."
"You're not thinking this through."
"Probably not, but I've had enough of his pushing away. I'm not a yo-yo Catherine."
"I know sweetheart and he's a fool for treating you the way he has."
"This is the only way to solve both our problems."
"It's not a problem. It's love Sara. Can't you see that? Your afraid because you've fallen in love with him and you feel that he doesn't feel the same way."
"I know he doesn't, he has flirted with me, but he has never once showed to me that he's even interested. That's not love that's desperation on my side. He hasn't a clue how I feel because he's never looked at me long enough to see."
"You just going to leave without a word to him?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Why? Why is his best friend questioning me? Cath, you know he will never admit it, you know he won't change, you know he won't do a thing to stop me. He never has and he never will. Just accept that I am trying to move on with my life and he should as well. Maybe he will find some happiness without me. He seems to be trying already."
"You're talking about his dates he's been going on?"
"No Catherine, I not talking about his dates. what the hell do you think I've been talking about? He's got woman throwing themselves at him, willing to do anything as long as he sleeps with them, but then he's got me. no one worth giving the time of day."
"He really hurt you, didn't he?"
"I'm tired of talking about it."
"Why don't you ring him and ask him to meet you somewhere? Talk to him Sara, before you make the biggest mistake of your life."
"Its too late Cath. He's turned me down one too many times. I gave him a chance after he said no and he never even battered an eye."
"Said no? What's that mean?"
"You mean, he never told you I asked him out?"
"No, jeez. you asked him out and he said no, why?"
"I don't know. It was a test, I think."
"A test?"
"Yeah. After the explosion, I wasn't sure what was happening to me for a while. I think I was in shock. Anyway, I had this feeling about life being too short and I had tried before the explosion, but he was never alone for five minutes."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't worry Cath."
"Have you spoken to him since?"
"He just would not speak to me when we worked the robbery at the bank. He practically avoided me."
"You know about his hearing?"
"Yeah. He told everyone when he came back from vacation."
"That's when he had the surgery, straight after that case. He was. scared to put it into emotional words."
"I bet, but that doesn't explain why he's avoiding me or why he never told me. He told you."
"And you are angry with me because of that?"
"No. yes. oh shit, I don't know, perhaps. I know you're his best friend Cath, but I thought we had something."
"I was only told because I needed to take over as supervisor while he was away."
"I better go. That's my flight."
"Don't go yet."
"Why? There's nothing left."
"Yeah, but. just wait a few more minutes."
"Why?"
"No reason, just want to keep begging I suppose."
"It's not working."
"I guessed as much."
"You've been a great friend Cath. I'll see you around some time."
"Maybe we can go for a coffee, like now."
"Cath, are you trying to make me miss my flight or. what are you doing?"
"Nothing."
"I better go."
"Sara, wait.please."
"I'm not liking the way you're looking at me Cath. What have you done?"
"I just mentioned the gate and departure time. That's it."
"What are you talking about?"
"Sara stop, just keep talking to me."
"I'm not dying Catherine. Why are you trying to get me to say here?"
"You're my friend, why can't I plead for you to stay?"
"You called him?"
"I."
"You called him and you're trying to get me to wait for him. Jesus Christ Catherine!"
"Sara please!"
"No!"
"Shit, shit, shit!"
"Catherine!"
"Where the hell have you been?"
"Traffic. Where is she?"
"She's on the plane."
"Dammit!"
"Go!"
"What?"
"Get on the fucking plane Gil. She is not going to stay if you don't make her."
"I haven't a ticket."
"Here."
"I'm guessing you want me to go?"
"Stop stalling."
"You're right."
"I know I'm right. Good Luck!"
Sara leaned her head against the window and was inwardly cursing to herself. She was grateful that the plane was in the air, but the feeling of what she just left behind was haunting her. She unbuckled her belt when the 'fasten seatbelts' light went out.
At least she was getting somewhere. Four years of waiting and not moving and when she does, it feels like she should have waited that bit longer. Closing her eyes against the sun's glare, she brushed her hair from her face and dropped her hand to her thigh.
A few minutes later, she felt someone sit beside her and a feeling of warmth fill her. She then felt someone cover her hand. "You were just going to leave without a word?"
Her head whipped round and stopped when the voice's body came into view. She gasped in shock and stared in stunned silence. She looked down at her hand and squeezed the hand holding hers. This couldn't be real. "I'm hallucinating." She said, confused and looked at him.
He shook his head slowly. No smile, but his soft blue eyes gazing into hers. "Is this real?" He asked, tracing her hand with his index finger. Sara watched his fingers closely. "Is this real?" He asked again, leaning forward and brushing his nose over her ear and cheek, inhaling deeply. He could see her eyes close as he lightly breathed against her jaw. "Is this real?" He asked for a final time. His hand squeezed hers as his other hand turned her head towards him. Watching her face, he brushed his lips across hers.
Sara's eyes fluttered open to lock with his. "Was that real?" She whispered.
Waiting, he cupped her cheek and smiled. "Yes." He kissed her lightly this time. A taste for what's to come. The kiss was slow and hesitant.
"Griss?" She murmured against his lips.
"Hmm?"
Pulling back slightly, she opened her eyes as he did. She wasn't smiling and his smile faltered. She reached up and brushed her thumb over her lips. "What's next?"
He turned her hand on her thigh and threaded his fingers with hers. Lifting the partition between them, he pulled her against him and hugged her. "Where are we going?"
Laughing into his shoulder, Sara wrapped her arms around him. "At this moment, we're above the clouds and I don't want to leave."
"San Francisco huh?" Giggling, she swatted his arm, only to be pulled tighter and kissed. "Above the Clouds." He grins, resting his head against hers and closed his eyes. "How long?" He suddenly asked.
Sara hummed as she thought. "That would depend on you."
He rubbed her back gently. "Catherine's got everything under control. She doesn't need me at the lab for at least a week." Sara looks up at him and smiles. He smiles in return and looks out the window.
"He doesn't love me."
"Really? And how do you know that? Have you asked him?"
"Not in so many words?"
"I'll take that as a no."
"Cath, just leave it, please."
"If you board that plane Sara, you'll never see him again."
"I know that. I do, but it was his choice and he said nothing."
"He's scared."
"Yeah, well. so am I."
"It's not like he shows emotion everyday Sara. This is new for him."
"No. That's just it Cath. It's not new for him. He's been through relationships that ended badly and he's avoiding the same thing he's always avoiding."
"And that is?"
"Commitment."
"That's crap. Grissom's probably the most committed guy I know."
"To his job, not a relationship. I've never been in a long term relationship because they've all ended badly."
"Doesn't mean the same thing will happen now."
"Yes it does. It's already happened."
"You're not thinking this through."
"Probably not, but I've had enough of his pushing away. I'm not a yo-yo Catherine."
"I know sweetheart and he's a fool for treating you the way he has."
"This is the only way to solve both our problems."
"It's not a problem. It's love Sara. Can't you see that? Your afraid because you've fallen in love with him and you feel that he doesn't feel the same way."
"I know he doesn't, he has flirted with me, but he has never once showed to me that he's even interested. That's not love that's desperation on my side. He hasn't a clue how I feel because he's never looked at me long enough to see."
"You just going to leave without a word to him?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Why? Why is his best friend questioning me? Cath, you know he will never admit it, you know he won't change, you know he won't do a thing to stop me. He never has and he never will. Just accept that I am trying to move on with my life and he should as well. Maybe he will find some happiness without me. He seems to be trying already."
"You're talking about his dates he's been going on?"
"No Catherine, I not talking about his dates. what the hell do you think I've been talking about? He's got woman throwing themselves at him, willing to do anything as long as he sleeps with them, but then he's got me. no one worth giving the time of day."
"He really hurt you, didn't he?"
"I'm tired of talking about it."
"Why don't you ring him and ask him to meet you somewhere? Talk to him Sara, before you make the biggest mistake of your life."
"Its too late Cath. He's turned me down one too many times. I gave him a chance after he said no and he never even battered an eye."
"Said no? What's that mean?"
"You mean, he never told you I asked him out?"
"No, jeez. you asked him out and he said no, why?"
"I don't know. It was a test, I think."
"A test?"
"Yeah. After the explosion, I wasn't sure what was happening to me for a while. I think I was in shock. Anyway, I had this feeling about life being too short and I had tried before the explosion, but he was never alone for five minutes."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't worry Cath."
"Have you spoken to him since?"
"He just would not speak to me when we worked the robbery at the bank. He practically avoided me."
"You know about his hearing?"
"Yeah. He told everyone when he came back from vacation."
"That's when he had the surgery, straight after that case. He was. scared to put it into emotional words."
"I bet, but that doesn't explain why he's avoiding me or why he never told me. He told you."
"And you are angry with me because of that?"
"No. yes. oh shit, I don't know, perhaps. I know you're his best friend Cath, but I thought we had something."
"I was only told because I needed to take over as supervisor while he was away."
"I better go. That's my flight."
"Don't go yet."
"Why? There's nothing left."
"Yeah, but. just wait a few more minutes."
"Why?"
"No reason, just want to keep begging I suppose."
"It's not working."
"I guessed as much."
"You've been a great friend Cath. I'll see you around some time."
"Maybe we can go for a coffee, like now."
"Cath, are you trying to make me miss my flight or. what are you doing?"
"Nothing."
"I better go."
"Sara, wait.please."
"I'm not liking the way you're looking at me Cath. What have you done?"
"I just mentioned the gate and departure time. That's it."
"What are you talking about?"
"Sara stop, just keep talking to me."
"I'm not dying Catherine. Why are you trying to get me to say here?"
"You're my friend, why can't I plead for you to stay?"
"You called him?"
"I."
"You called him and you're trying to get me to wait for him. Jesus Christ Catherine!"
"Sara please!"
"No!"
"Shit, shit, shit!"
"Catherine!"
"Where the hell have you been?"
"Traffic. Where is she?"
"She's on the plane."
"Dammit!"
"Go!"
"What?"
"Get on the fucking plane Gil. She is not going to stay if you don't make her."
"I haven't a ticket."
"Here."
"I'm guessing you want me to go?"
"Stop stalling."
"You're right."
"I know I'm right. Good Luck!"
Sara leaned her head against the window and was inwardly cursing to herself. She was grateful that the plane was in the air, but the feeling of what she just left behind was haunting her. She unbuckled her belt when the 'fasten seatbelts' light went out.
At least she was getting somewhere. Four years of waiting and not moving and when she does, it feels like she should have waited that bit longer. Closing her eyes against the sun's glare, she brushed her hair from her face and dropped her hand to her thigh.
A few minutes later, she felt someone sit beside her and a feeling of warmth fill her. She then felt someone cover her hand. "You were just going to leave without a word?"
Her head whipped round and stopped when the voice's body came into view. She gasped in shock and stared in stunned silence. She looked down at her hand and squeezed the hand holding hers. This couldn't be real. "I'm hallucinating." She said, confused and looked at him.
He shook his head slowly. No smile, but his soft blue eyes gazing into hers. "Is this real?" He asked, tracing her hand with his index finger. Sara watched his fingers closely. "Is this real?" He asked again, leaning forward and brushing his nose over her ear and cheek, inhaling deeply. He could see her eyes close as he lightly breathed against her jaw. "Is this real?" He asked for a final time. His hand squeezed hers as his other hand turned her head towards him. Watching her face, he brushed his lips across hers.
Sara's eyes fluttered open to lock with his. "Was that real?" She whispered.
Waiting, he cupped her cheek and smiled. "Yes." He kissed her lightly this time. A taste for what's to come. The kiss was slow and hesitant.
"Griss?" She murmured against his lips.
"Hmm?"
Pulling back slightly, she opened her eyes as he did. She wasn't smiling and his smile faltered. She reached up and brushed her thumb over her lips. "What's next?"
He turned her hand on her thigh and threaded his fingers with hers. Lifting the partition between them, he pulled her against him and hugged her. "Where are we going?"
Laughing into his shoulder, Sara wrapped her arms around him. "At this moment, we're above the clouds and I don't want to leave."
"San Francisco huh?" Giggling, she swatted his arm, only to be pulled tighter and kissed. "Above the Clouds." He grins, resting his head against hers and closed his eyes. "How long?" He suddenly asked.
Sara hummed as she thought. "That would depend on you."
He rubbed her back gently. "Catherine's got everything under control. She doesn't need me at the lab for at least a week." Sara looks up at him and smiles. He smiles in return and looks out the window.