THE INCREDIBLY HORRIFYING FF7 STORY OF RANDOMNESS
Gir: YAY WE'RE DOOMED!
Cheshire Cato.Oo.O: Dude you said it.
Gir: Lets make waffles.
TCC: Okay.
Gir: Ummm The Cheshire Cat want everybody to know that umm she doesn't own anything except self inserts and the Random stuff.
TCC: or you
Gir: But you own plushies of me.
TCC: that's not the same.
THERE IS SOME OOC, YAOI, CUSSING/PROFANITY and SEVERE CLOUD BASHING IN THIS STORY. DO NOT FLAME ME.FLAMES WILL BE USED TO MAKE WAFFLES :P
--------------------Chapter 1 Cloud's Problem---------------------
"Cloud. Get your lazy ass down here at once." Tifa yelled.
"Yeah yeah yeah, I got it." Cloud mumbles.
Now usually when Cloud wakes up, He wakes up alone. But not today. He sits up, yawns, and finally realizes that there is something in the bed next to him. With silver hair. And this thing apparently doesn't like being woken up at 7a.m.
"GET YOUR HANDS OF MOTHERS PANCAKES!!!!!!!!!!!" The silver haired thing yelled jumping out of the bed, completely naked, with a sword poised two inches from Clouds face.
"DUDE What the FUCK?" Cloud yells jumping up himself. Then he realizes that he also sleeps in the nude and wraps the blanket around himself.
"Oh. Hi Cloud."
"Sephiroth what in the hell are you doing here?"
"What you don't remember?" Sephiroth says suggestively.
"No, not really." Cloud says.
Now about the time Cloud says this, Tifa bursts into clouds room carrying a frying pan, and swings it around wildly looking for someone to smack with it. Unfortunately, it's Cloud who gets hit (He really has no reflexes this early in the morning!) and he falls to the floor. Sephiroth bursts out laughing and points at the now unconscious Cloud. Tifa, finally realizing who she just knocked out, runs to the kitchen for some cold water. Meanwhile Sephiroth is still laughing at the unconscious form on the floor, and Tifa is scrambling to get back up the stairs with a full pot of cold water in her hands. She splashes Cloud with the contents of said pot and he says something about "I don't want pancakes mommy." Then she realizes there is a naked Sephiroth standing in Clouds room.
"Oh My God, MANBITS!"
Blink Blink "Uh no. Sephiroth. Sephiroth, got it memorized?"
Axel then bursts through the wall and goes "COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!!! I SUE YOU NOW!!!" Then realizes that Sephiroth is naked. "Um,uh. Well this is awkward." And walks back out the giant hole that was left when he burst through the wall.
At this time Cloud is cussing up a storm while he tries to piece his wall back together and Sephiroth is looking around frantically for something to wear.
"Cloud would you like to explain this?" Tifa asks
"No. Actually I would not like to explain this." He snaps back.
"I can explain." Sephiroth said, Looking seductively over at Cloud.
"NEVER MIND. Sorry I asked." Tifa said nervously. "Need some clothes Sephiroth?"
"Yes. I would actually love to know what happened to my clothes." Sephiroth said, scratching his head.
----------Meanwhile Downstairs----------------
Vincent walks into the Seventh Heaven bar with Reno tailing behind him.
"I swear. I saw Cloud and Sephiroth all over each other last night. Then they both disappeared." Reno says.
"Was Cloud drunk?" Vincent asks.
"I don't know. I think so."
"Interesting."
They look up as they hear loud noises coming from upstairs. Thumps, followed by loud cussing and then a very pissed off Cloud shouting "Sephiroth STOP TOUCHING MY ASS YOU DAMN PERVERT." Then Tifa screaming "DAMMIT SEPHIROTH. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND MY EYESIGHT PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON."
They both look at each other before Vincent draws Cerberus.
"I'm going in."
"I don't think you should do that yo." Reno says.
"Well, what should we do?" Vincent asks,"Should we just stay down here? What if they kill each other up there?"
"What if they kill us for going up there? Sephiroth is damn scary in the morning yo."
"I don't want to know how you know that." Vincent says, leaning on the bar.
-------------Back upstairs--------------
"I will never be able to get this damn image out of my mind.Ahh does anybody have any soap?" Tifa says.
See, right now she is staring at Sephiroth trying desperately to steal Clouds blanket. Suddenly the One Winged Angel (Sephiroth's Theme song in case you didn't know) starts playing in the background and Cloud grabs a pillow. "I will defend my blanket to the death." Cloud shouts as he swings his pillow around effectively hitting Sephiroth in the face. Sephiroth grabs a pillow and starts to beat Cloud over the head with it.
"Now this is getting interesting."
"(oO;) Who the hell are you?" Tifa asks the new person, sitting on the dresser next to the door, sipping a coke.
"I am CheshireCat o.Oo.O. The authoress of this story and Sephiroth fan girl." I yell waving my coke around in the air.
"You know he's gay right?"
"He's trisexual. He'll get over it."
The epic pillow fight is still going on, when suddenly Vincent crashes through the door with his gun drawn.
"Alright, I am coming to save you...Cloud?"
At this time Sephiroth effectively snatches Clouds blanket off and they are both standing there NAKED.
"HES NEKKID!!" I yell, spilling my coke everywhere.
Cloud tries to cover himself the best he can. Sephiroth just stands there as naked as the day he was created. Tifa's eyes bug out of her head before she collapses onto the floor. Gir (from Invader Zim) just so happens to show up and sits down next to me. Vincent stares at Sephiroth and Cloud like he is about to faint himself, and I am still sitting in the same spot, sipping my coke.
"Who the hell...What the hell...Why the hell...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE??" Vincent yells, waving his gun around.
"Well, if you really want to know.."Sephiroth starts.
"Don't even try Sephiroth!" Vincent snaps. He turns to me, "Okay.Who are you?"
"Me? I am the CheshireCat o.Oo.O. Authoress of this story and Sephiroth (and Vincent) Fan girl!!" I say waving my coke for effect.
"And I'm Gir from Invader Zim, companion of the Cheshire Cat and Nobody's Fan boy!!" He yells.
"Okay." He turns to Cloud and Sephiroth," Why are you two naked. Actually, nevermind I don't want to know."
All of the sudden Reno bursts through what's left of Clouds wall. "All right NOBODY MOVE!" he yells waving his nightstick around.
Axel (why he was still here we don't know. He just sort of appears out of nowhere.), walks across the room.
"Hey I said NOBODY MOVE."
"But I am a Nobody."
"Yep. He's a Nobody alright." I said raising my hand.
"Who is she?" Reno asks.
"She's the Authoress of the story and a Sephiroth (and Vincent) Fangirl. The Cheshire Cat o.Oo.O. And that little green dog (who was poking at the still unconscious Tifa.) Is Gir from Invader Zim. Constant companion of the Cheshire Cato.Oo.O." Vincent explains.
"Yo."I said
"Hello." Gir says as he jumps up and down on Tifa's stomach.
"So why is Tifa unconscious?" Reno asks.
"To much Manbits for her."Vincent says.
"Uhhh okay. And what are Manbits?"
"You really don't want to know."
"And why are they..."
Sephiroth and Cloud both yell "DON'T ASK!!" at the same time. I jump off of the dresser and magically pull Sephiroth's clothes out from behind me.
"What! You had those the whole time?" Sephiroth asks, taking the clothing from me.
"Yep."
"Can I ask why you didn't give them to me sooner."
"You looked like you were having so much fun."
"I'm not now."
Reno whispers to Vincent how Sephiroth REALLY needs to tan.Tifa wakes up after Gir randomly licks Tifa in the face. Cloud, finally realizing that there were seven people (five people, one nobody, one Gir dog) standing in his room. And I ask Gir and Axel if they would like some pancakes.
"Pancakes sound great right now." Axel says trying to wipe the naked Cloud and Sephiroth pillow fighting from his mind.
"YAY PANCAKES!!" Gir yells.
"Somebody say something about pancakes?" a (now fully clothed) Sephiroth asks.
"They aren't your mother's though." I said turning around.
"I'll deal."
We all turn towards the door and just as we are leaving, Cloud whispers,
"Sephiroth, do you know where my clothes are??"
----------End of CHAPTER ONE---------------
Gir:YAY WE'RE DOOMED.
Vincent: You already said that.
TCC: Dude by the time I am at the end of this story I will just have to say I am a FF7 guys fangirl.
Vincent: Why's that?
TCC: Well first I had to add Sephiroth, then you. But I also am a fangirl of Kadaj and Yazoo. And they show up in the next chapter.
Cloud: WHAT????
Sephiroth: What does TCC stand for?
TCC: It's a shorter version of The CheshireCat o.Oo.O. In other words TCC.
Sephiroth: Oh. Will I be as OOC in the Next Chapter.
TCC: God I hope not!! Everybody REVIEW PLEASE!!!