There was very little noise as Tenten forced herself out of bed. The sun wasn't up yet and you couldn't only faintly hear a morning chorus of birds outside.
She hated getting up early on her days off but she knew on a day like this she would have to see him before and after everyone else did.
She gathered a small breakfast she made last night for the two of them his present and the basics every ninja carries along with a few extra kunai.
If she didn't leave soon someone might bump into her on the way to see him.
"Good morning Neji!"
She greeted him with a heartfelt smile.
"I brought a small breakfast for us. It's only some tomato, egg and rice with tea but I couldn't do much else. I'll bring herring soba for dinner to make up for it though."
Sitting in silence she wondered if her efforts for his birthday were futile. The two of them had a meal together on both of their birthdays every year since they became team mates. Why should this year be different?
"These kinds of days were always so difficult Neji" She started eating small mouthfuls of her food, not really feeling like eating.
"My tastes have always been sweeter than yours"
Tears started down her face.
"I miss you so much Neji"
There was a difficult silence until Tenten began to cry.
She continued to cry for a while longer. She thought of the memories they shared.
How he was so distant at first but lager was so caring. The first day they spoke properly and how he had changed since then.
She thought of how he confided in her after his loss to Naruto.
The words that went between them for just them to know.
She thought of the hours they spent encouraging and training eachother.
She was always most vulnerable with him.
They often sat together in silence, looking at the endless shower of leaves. Being content and at peace with each other's presence and often finding the others tiring. Although today she was doing the same thing they always did, Tenten had never felt so alone in her whole life.
Tears finally settling down and able to breathe again Tenten looked down at his headstone and planted a soft kiss on it.
"Happy Birthday Neji. You deserved to reach 20 more than any of us"
The sun began to rise. She knew she had to leave soon.
"I always wanted to grow old with you. All of our friends are having kids and now passing their knowledge onto their kids or the kids they're teaching in Shino's case. Even Lee has a kid."
She looked down feeling the tears well in her eyes.
"I wanted that with you Neji. I wanted to share my house. I wanted to say I do. I wanted to have baby kicks in my stomach. I wanted 5 am cuddles. I wanted to see you grow into the old man you've been since you were thirteen."
She let out a soft chuckle that made tears stream down her face.
"I wanted you."
She broke into a painful sob that hurt her lungs and stomach. It hurt so much to cry so hard but that's all she could do. She sobbed uncontrollably for five minutes, trying to catch her breath but unable to do so. She felt as though she was going to throw up from crying so hard.
Finally beginning to catch her breath Tenten realised that leaving a present would show she had been to see him. Wanting to avoid the topic of Neji as much as possible today, she packed her things up along with her present.
She would return with it later and disguise it in the things he would receive from family and friends.
"I'll return to you tonight"
She bowed her head to his tombstone then stood up wiping the last of her tears and trying to correct her breath.
"Happy Birthday Neji. I love you".