It's kind of scary how no one understands what being different means. How much it hurts not to be accepted by anyone. To sense the hate and fear from people around them. But usually when the world hates you. There always someone to go to. Someone that sympathizes with your problems. A parent, a friend, a lover. I have no one, just myself and other people in my head telling me that I'm a horrible person. It hurts that no one cares for me because I'm different. Freak among freaks is what they call me. Everyone whisper about me as I walk down the halls of mutant high. A place where I'm suppose to belong, it sickens me that when it comes down to it, they chose the same path that humans have. To hate and fear what they do not understand.
They have abandoned me in my time of need and grief. The only person that understand my handicap dead, and man that saved my life dead. I have no shoulder to cry on. I should have gotten the Cure and save myself some grief, but I did not. Everyday thus far I regret it. I regret that I let people that do not care about me take my happiness away from me. It's kind of funny how emotional I am and no real outlet.
Only way I can deal with my grief is through drinking. The only way to numb myself is to get drunk off my ass and go home to pass out. It's kind of funny that I've been going out and getting drunk for three months, no one noticed. Not even myself appointed hero.
As I get drunk, I watch people dance, drink, and socialize, and remember when I was that free. When nothing mattered but me and my friends. I hate it, I hate that I will never get to dance again. I hate that I will never get my virginity taken. I hate that I will never have kiss that make my toes curl. I hate that I will never get married. I hate that I will never have a baby to hold and to love. I just hate life all together.
I know I should end my life and my misery, but I can't. Those years of living in catholic orphanage has left its mark on me. I already living in hell on earth, I do not think I could deal with it in the afterlife.
So I sit and watch life past me by. This is how I spend all my nights; this is how I will spend tomorrow night.
What's going to happen tomorrow night? Review please, and more will come.. Bad or Good? Any problems with grammar or spelling write about it and I will fix it. Thank you for reading.