Title: How Everyone See's Kurt and Brittany's Friendship
Author: SergeantGullible12
Rating: T
Characters/Pairings: Kurt Hummel, Brittany S. Pierce, background Brittana and Klaine.
Word count: 1289
Summary: Kurt and Brittany's friendship is rather 'special'. They both do and say things that surprise and confuse everyone around them. Here is proof. Airhead!Kurt. Part of the Ditzy 'verse.
Warnings/Spoilers: Sexual references/jokes.
Disclaimer- I am by no means associated with Glee, Fox, Ryan Murphy or anything from the Glee world. I make no profit from writing this; it's just for my creepy leisure.
A/N- Hello! I'm sorry that I didn't upload/write this when I said I would but I got a cold (I still do) and homework. Yeah. So, I'll probably upload for this 'verse on weekends. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense but yeah I'm sick and out of it okay continue!
The prompt is at the bottom.
XxXxX
Burt
Burt knew that Kurt was, well, different. It wasn't because he was gay; no it was because he wasn't the sharpest crayon in the packet. Or whatever that metaphor is.
He and Elizabeth weren't lax or unhelpful when Kurt was young; Elizabeth spent hours trying to teach Kurt everything. Eventually they gave up when he was eight, deciding that he had a wild imagination. That was why he spelt his name as "Kuertt" sometimes and only uses colourful felt tips to write.
Burt was happy that when Kurt went into Middle School he met a girl named Brittany. Brittany's mind worked like Kurt's. They understood each other. Also, by gaining Brittany as a friend Brittany's best friend Santana protected Kurt too. That was a good bonus.
He had been working late and opened the front door to smell lots of sugar and burning. Running into the kitchen he saw Kurt covered head to toe in flour and Brittany had egg shells in her hair. Something pink and glittery was plonked on a plate.
"Hi Dad! Me and Britt were making a cake but the recipe said that we needed canary oil and Pavarotti is up in bird paradise so we used this," Kurt rambled excitedly, lifting up the house's fire extinguisher, "And a bit of toothpaste."
"It didn't taste good so we got everything in the kitchen that was sweet and mixed it with whipped cream so now it tastes like rainbows," Brittany explained, picking up a large knife, "Do you want some?"
Burt quickly ran over and grabbed the knife, putting it in the drawer and fastening the child safety door things tight.
"Um, maybe later. Kurt, why don't you go shower and I'll help Brittany get the egg out her hair," Burt says.
XxXxX
Rachel
Rachel knew that Kurt and Brittany were a bit slow. She'd sometimes forget how slow they actually were. She had caught Kurt repeatedly pushing at a door marked pull. She had caught Brittany hiding Easter eggs in her bra and taking them out in class to eat. Well, put those two together and you are bound to be confused.
She was dating Finn again and had been invited over for a family plus one guest dinner. Rachel had a feeling that Kurt was going to bring Brittany and that feeling was correct.
The had knocked briskly on the door when two seconds later it was swung open by Kurt.
"HAY BR- you're not Brittany," Kurt said, pulling a confused face and then slammed the door shut. Rachel heard Finn ask who was it and Kurt answer with "A fifth grader with a beak." Then the door was opened again but by Finn.
"Hey Rachel!"
Once Brittany had arrived everyone sat to have dinner. It was nice and calm until Kurt held up his chicken leg.
"I think I could deepthroat this," Kurt exclaimed softly, causing Burt to nearly choke on his cauliflower.
"Definitely," Brittany agreed, nodding her head, "You could probably take whole celery."
Kurt went to shove it in his mouth when Finn snatched it and threw it across the room.
"If you're not going to eat it then nobody is going to eat it," Finn said.
Rachel didn't bother questioning his logic and just went with it, the room in an uncomfortable silence.
Until Brittany and Kurt spoke at the same time;
"You're just jealous because Rachel can't put meat in her mouth."
XxXxX
Puck
Puck was sitting in Glee Club, half asleep. He had been up all last night doing important things. Like video games. And seeing how many Cheetos he can fit in his mouth. Twenty.
Suddenly his eyes were covered and he heard high pitch giggling.
"Guess who!" he heard Brittany sing-song, another person giggling with her.
"Brittany?" Puck guessed.
"No, silly!" Brittany answered.
Well it could only be one other person.
"Kurt?"
"YAY YOU GOT IT RIGHT!" Kurt yelled right in his ear, causing his head to ring and removed his hands.
If it had been Finn shouting in his ear Puck would've already smashed a chair over his head. But Kurt was too happy and too much like Brittany. And Puck would never hit Brittany. That's like hitting a kitten.
"We baked you something last night!" Brittany told Puck happily and extracted from her bag a box.
She opened the lid and Puck's eyes started to water from the smell.
"Is that vinegar?" Puck asked and Kurt nodded with a grin.
"We also used a fire extinguisher!" the boy said happily.
"Uh I'll pass," Puck said slowly, "But I'm sure Finn would love some! Try sneaking it in his food."
They nodded and skipped over to the boy in question.
XxXxX
Artie
He was rolling towards the school's exit, sweat drops on his forehead. His hands ached from how quick he was spinning the wheels. But he couldn't stop.
He couldn't stop because Kurt and Brittany liked pushing him around. Dangerously.
"ARTIE THERE YOU ARE!"
Artie screamed but then stopped, spinning around to see Kurt and Brittany linking arms and smiling at him.
"Mike said that it's possible to ride bikes down stairs so we wanted to see if you could go down stairs on your bike!" Brittany explained.
"And you're a robot and robots can't die. I know because Finn made me watch the Exterminator," Kurt said softly.
Before Artie could correct him he was being pushed towards the stairs by Brittany.
"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!" Artie yelled, his pleas sounding like shrieks of joy to Kurt and Brittany.
Luckily Mr Schue managed to stop them and explain that Artie isn't a source of entertainment.
He could now roam the halls without fear for his life.
XxXxX
Santana
Don't get her wrong, Santana loved her girl Britts. She'd dress like Rachel freaking Berry if it meant that Brittany would smile. But sometimes she can be a bit slow. And when you add Kurt Hummel to the equation it's going to be confusing.
Santana had arrived at Brittany's house, ready for some lady loving, when she saw her girlfriend and Kurt in the front yard throwing acorns at a wooden squirrel.
"Britt, Princess, what are you doing there?" she asked, discreetly taking the acorn out of Brittany's hand when she kissed her cheek.
"Oh, we're trying to feed the nature but Mr Squirrel is being un-unco-uncoo- annoying," Brittany explained, pointing at the garden ornament with a pout.
"Britts, why not I go get a bottle of water and you can give Mr Squirrel a bath?" Santana asked, taking Kurt's acorn too, "Then Kurt can leave and we can-"
"Have sweet lady kisses?" Brittany asked hopefully.
"Yeah Britt," Santana mumbled, blushing.
She looked over to Kurt to see if he was going to comment but the boy was staring at a caterpillar with a look of awe on his face.
"I wonder if it's edible." Kurt said aloud. Santana quickly grabbed his hand, Brittany's hand in the other, and dragged the two inside.
XxXxX
Kurt and Brittany
Ever since middle school Kurt and Brittany had been best friends. If they were in the same class they would partner up for activities. They had sleepovers and talked about boys and clothes. They both agreed that Rachel Berry was part bird part grandma and that Noah Puckerman was a hottie.
Before meeting they both lived in their own worlds. But now they had their own aspect of life that they shared.
They even had an imaginary world. They were King and Queen of Marshmallow Glitter Land. They spoke in code words and their own language they had made up when they were in seventh grade.
They were, as Kurt stated when they were thirteen, "Best Friends for Life."
Prompt- 'I'd like to see some Kurt and Brittany friendship if you decide to make another one! I'm curious to how their interactions with one another would appear not only in their point of view, but other's as well.' ~ EnchantingNightmares (via review of 'How Kurt Hummel Took Advantage of Detention)
A/N- I'd just like to thank everyone how has reviewed/followed/favourite any fics from this 'verse. Also, all the ideas I've gotten are great, thanks for sending me them! Feel free to send me your ideas for Ditzy!Kurt through review, PM or an ask on Tumblr (ps you don't need an account to send me an ask on tumblr)
Um yeah have a nice day! *waves*