I don't mean to offend Jake fans! Enjoy and review!

Jake's POV

I was at the Cullen home sitting next to Ness, watching TV with Edward, Bella and Ness, when it happened. I started scratching my head. At first it was nothing, but then I could feel the itch all over my body. So I started scratching myself everywhere. "Jake?" Nessie asked. "What's wrong?" "Nothing." I muttered, trying to stop. They all stared at me for a few moments, then turned their attention back to the TV screen. Oh my God, why am I so itchy?! Must resist! Cannot scratch…I managed to resist touching myself for a good minute or two, then I started twitching. "Jake? Something's wrong. Tell me." Nessie said. I looked over at her, and she seemed worried. "Sorry, it's just that I'm so itchy all of a sudden and I'm trying not to scratch myself but its not working." "Dad!" Nessie whined. "Get some itching cream!" Edward snickered as I started scratching myself all over.

Carlisle was down here in a second, holding a small tube in his hands. "I heard someone needed itching cream." I sighed with relief. "Thanks." I took the tube from his hands and got up. "Where are you going?" Bella asked. "To apply it everywhere it itches." Edward gagged and Nessie giggled. "I hope it works!" She said.

A few minutes later I was relieved from my itch and was sitting back with Ness, watching TV again. After a while though, it came back. Worse this time. "Grandpa!" I heard Ness yell at the top of her lungs. "God Ness, don't be so dramatic; it's nothing." But Carlisle was down here anyways. "What's wrong Nessie?" She pointed at me. "The itching cream isn't working, and it's bothering him." By now, everybody was downstairs. Rosalie was snickering at my discomfort, Bella and Ness looked worried, Edward and Jasper both looked bored, Emmett looked excited, and Alice looked like she was about to burst out laughing. Which was what Edward did not a moment later. Weird. I wonder what she saw. But my thoughts quickly reverted back to what was happening when Carlisle started sifting through my hair. "Hey!" I yelled out in frustration, moving to the side. Carlisle just sighed. "Hold still while I check for something." He started sifting through my hair again. Not a second later he said, "Jacob, you have lice."

Everyone burst out laughing. Even Ness and Bella. "No I don't!" I yelled out, while reaching behind my back to scratch. "Yes, you do. Give me a few moments and I'll have what you need." Then he left, and it was just me and the stupid leaches. Edward growled. Oh right, he can read my mind. Rosalie, who I hated more in this moment than any other, yelled out, "The dog has fleas! Get him away from Nessie before she gets them too!" Which made Edward-the over worrier-jump up, grab both Bella and Nessie, and disappear into the woods, where their little cottage is.

"Stupid blond bimboe!" She just smirked at me and then walked away. Emmett followed her, and Alice and Jasper left at vampire-speed, which left me all alone. Until Carlisle appeared again, that is. He had a comb in one had and a small bottle in another. "Use this," he said, shaking the bottle, "Every time you shower to kill the lice. The use the comb to get them out." He handed them over to me, and I took them. "You might want to do that now Jake, if you want relief." "I looked at the bottle, then up at him. "I just have one question." "Fire away." Scratching my arm, I asked, "Why does it itch everywhere?! I mean, lice isn't suppose to be all over your body, is it?!"

"No, it shouldn't. Have someone apply the shampoo to you as a wolf and have them comb you as a wolf to get rid of the itching everywhere. The bottles big enough for that, and it should take about three or four days to work completely. But keep applying it for a week to get rid of the lice completely." I got up, and said, "Thank you, Carlisle." He smiled. "Your welcome." And with that, I was off, to find someone, anyone, who would wash me as a dog.