Damnation
"Bobby!"
He opened his eyes, the daylight that filtered through his boarded up window enough to make out the silhouette of the empty bottles from last night. And the ones before that. Slowly, he stood up from the bed waiting for the dizziness and headache of a hangover to come. They never did. He cursed under his breath. He deserved a hangover, he deserved that pain. He deserved the numbness it provided. But he just couldn't anymore, no matter how much he drank the day before.
Knock knock knock
It came fast and strong. Another curse. He practically dragged himself downstairs.
"Comin'!" He called once he felt he was near enough to be heard. "And this better be damn good!" He intended it to be angry, menacing. Instead, it came out hoarse and almost inaudible. He tried to remember when was the last time he had spoken to somebody. Nothing came to mind, the memory too far gone to grasp.
He cursed once again before finally opening his front door, the sunlight blinding him for an instant.
"Are you drunk?" He knew that voice. "When was the last time you got any further than your front door?"
"John" he greeted, consciously ignoring his friend's questions. And then noticed the two small shadows to his left. Once he had fully recovered from the blinding light, the two shadows became two boys he knew fully well. Sammy's little arm snaked around Dean's, his hand locked in his brother's. Little Sammy seemed scared, but gave Bobby a small smile anyway. The kind of smile only an eight year old can muster, so innocent and pure.
Slowly, without his notice or permission, a small smile spread across his face and he didn't notice until his cheeks hurt from the effort.
"We are going on a hunt"
And that got Bobbys's attention. He wasnt in a sleep stupor or stuck in his childhood nightmare or watching Karen die at his hand over and over again anymore. He was in his home, with John Winchester and his two kids.
"We?"
"Yes, Dean is going on his first hunt." He announced proudly, like it was a holy mission instead of damnation.
"He is twelve." Answered bobby, still unable to process what the man at his doorway was saying. "He is too young"
"You don't get to decide that, Bobby. He is not your son" John's voice was slow, clear. And Bobby knew his friend good enough to hope to change his mind.
'Yeah. But it seems like I care more about the boy than you do' He thought. But he said nothing. Those were not his boys. And he cared too much about them to let that happen anyway; He would just ruin them, like he did everything else.
And that's when he finally posed his eyes on Dean, taking the whole boy in. He stood erect, his head as high as he could possibly muster, trying his best to look as big as possible. But it wasn't his pose what surprised Bobby the most; it was his eyes. A twelve-year-old adult. And one more look at the entwined hands told him what had made him like that. He had turned into a single father at the age of six. And he had never heard him complain.
"Why are you here then?" He asked finally, his eyes slowly making their way back to John.
"I want you to watch over Sammy"
He nodded. At least little Sammy was going to be safe. For now.
"What are you hunting?"
"A vampire." He gulped. He was taking a 12 year-old boy to take down a vampire.
He nodded again, and finally moved to let them into the house. John entered, but none of the boys moved. That's when Bobby first realized what those boys were. What they would become. Dean's menacing eyes, Sammy's determination. John had left then alone way too long, they knew no more world than each other and monsters. Sammy knew nothing else than his brother's guidance and protection. They were damned. Damned to a life of knowing things normal boys are shielded from. He cursed under his breath. He knew what they would become: easy targets. Dean was old enough to be by himself. Sam was old enough to want some independence. But they never let go of each other. They were damned. Bobby said nothing; they were just boys.
"Come in, boys" He said kindly, taking Sam's hand in his and guiding them inside. The brothers didn't let go of each others hand.
"Sam" Called john from Bobby's study, a book in his hand. Sam looked at his father, then at his brother. "Come." ordered John this time, no room for objection. Dean nodded slightly and Sam went to his father.
"Bobby?" Called Dean after a while. John and Sam were talking about some old book Bobby had, but Bobby wasn't really listening, lost in old memories again.
Bobby looked at him. Dean's eyes didn't meet his. Odd, he thought, he never took Dean for a shy boy. But following his gaze he realized he was watching Sammy's every move.
"Mmm" gasped Bobby, as way to tell Dean he was listening. Dean looked at him this time, eye to eye. Of course, thought bobby. That was the boy he knew.
"Don't let Sammy watch Circus Town" He sounded serious.
Bobby gave him an odd look.
"It has clowns." Dean offered, as a way of explanation. "Sammy loves watching that show. Plays tough while watching it, too. But he won't be able to sleep at night. He hates clowns." Dean's eyes were almost pleading now. Bobby nodded, unsure of what to do. Damn, he was nodding a lot today. He was getting used to silence, to loneliness.
"And his favorite food is Lucky Charms, but he can't eat a lot because he gets sick."
In that moment Sam ran back to his brother, entwining their hands again. "Bobby has a book dragons!" He exclaimed excited, pulling Dean behind him into the study. Deans pleading eyes and worried face disappeared as fast as they had come, a smile and fake enthusiasm replacing them.
And then Bobby understood. Dean was more afraid of leaving Sammy alone than facing a vampire. He was more afraid of losing Sam than dying. They are damned, thought bobby. But they wont be easy target. Dean wouldn't allow that.