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A/N: This is going to sound weird. I began to write this story last Christmas. I wanted to try something different. When I had three full chapters written down and I knew more or less how the plot would go, I decided I would post it. Then, Alan Rickman passed away and I thought it would be very disrespectful to upload a story about Snape surviving death just a few days after he died. So, not only did I stop myself from sharing this, I didn't open the document again until today. I wanted to write something and I'm having a bit of 'writer's block' on 'My Master' so I went back to this one.
I think you might like it. It's something that has been done several times in FanFiction: an alternate Universe where Voldemort wins the battle. I wanted to give my version of this theory, my SS/MM version…
DISCLAIMER
I obviously don't own anything related to the Harry Potter universe. That roll belongs to the great goddess of fantasy that is JK Rowling. I simply – and with all my modesty – use her characters and settings to exercise my own creative side and my writing in English.
APOLOGY
Speaking of writing in English. I am not a native speaker, as you may have notice – and if not, you will. My English spelling, and specially my grammar, is far from perfect and sometimes is affected by my mother language – Catalan and Spanish. I know I could use a betta-reader but I choose not to, but, any corrections or improvements on my use of this beautiful language I adore are welcome, as long as they are made in a polite way.
NEWS FROM ME
Not that you have to be interested, but… I'm moving to England in two months! I'm so excited! I'll be telling my story – in English, so I keep practicing – in a new blog I created called MyLondonTale. You can google it, follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or just go into the blog and read how Harry Potter is the reason I'm turning my life upside down. ;-)
Now, without further ado… ENJOY ^_^
UPSIDE DOWN
by Saeshmea
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Chapter 1
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When I regain consciousness I have the feeling of having been gone for a long time, only I don't remember where or how long. Through my mind run a ramble of blurred memories I can hardly tell apart and the only thing I feel sure of is that I am not dead.
After a while of working out my memories, I am able to collect a few facts I am sure of: my name is Severus Snape; I was born in 1960; I live in Spinner's End. Suddenly, an image of my little house comes to me and with it a lot of other memories of my childhood, my family, my mother… I see a park, and red-haired girl… Lily! Hogwarts! Potter!
Completely aware of my persona now, although still not able to clear out what brought me to this state, I open my eyes and find myself lying on a bed, a stone ceiling above my head; or at least, what is left of it. The battle!
I look around only to find my sight blocked by medical curtains. I remember pain, and Voldemort's face, and Potter… I was dying, or so I thought at the moment… apparently I survived and they brought me to the hospital wing. Damn it, I let the Potter boy take my memories thinking I'd never have to see him again, that's going to be embarrassing.
Anyway, if the battle is over I need to know what happened.
I remove the sheets covering me, glad to see I'm dressed on my own clothes. Some parts of my body ache like hell and when my feet meet the cold floor I realize I have no shoes. I look for my wand, but my clothes have been cleaned, and my pockets obviously emptied… it is neither on the night table beside the bed, which can only mean Voldemort was defeated and they're afraid of letting me be armed. I can't complain, no one was aware of Dumbledore's plan, and since it worked perfectly, even those who once were my friends must see me now as a traitor and a murderer. I'm surprised I'm not handcuffed to the bed or guarded by aurors. At least they didn't let me die, but if I was dead it all would be a lot easier, being alive I will have to give a lot of explanations unless I want to spend the remaining of my futile life in Azkaban. This won't be easy.
Barefoot and limping, I knock at Madame Pomfrey's office at the entrance of the Hospital Wing, hoping she can help me get a pair of shoes and maybe tell me who is in charge now, who I should talk to explain my situation. Probably Minerva, I guess, if she survived the battle. I shake my head. The thought of Hogwarts without McGonagall bossing everyone around is devastating. It was hard enough having to see her put her head down during this past year. After what I made her suffer, I'd hate to have outlived her. Not only that, but who'd believe such a crazy story as mine other than the very right hand of Albus Dumbledore. I need her alive.
As I wait for an answer at the nurse's office door, I realize there might be none, she also could be dead, and someone else might be doing her job now, luckily, I'm wrong.
"Come in," she says, and I do, and I find her nervously looking for some potion in her cabinet, showing me her back and not caring to turn around and check who disturbed her solitude. I guess that with the Dark Lord finally gone and all the Death Eaters probably in Azkaban there's no reason to be afraid of any danger.
"Madame Pomfrey," I say, and she jumps on her tiptoes, startled and almost making a bunch of little crystal vials filled with different liquids fall onto the floor. Luckily, she's known for her excellent reflexes, and quickly takes out her wand and stops what could have been a big disaster.
"Severus," she mutters my name as she makes the vials return to their places before turning around and looking at me. Now it's my turn to be startled when I see half her face has been burned, probably a result of some spell, and not properly healed, "you shouldn't be out of bed," she points out.
"I just needed to talk to someone, I'm sure you'll all want some explanations…" I say.
"You can keep them to yourself," she replies, "but if you need someone to talk to, there's plenty of your old friends on those beds outside," she adds, and I wonder who exactly and how many, who was injured, who was killed, who is still in one piece of my old school colleagues.
"You're right, I shouldn't be bothering you," I mutter, making my way out as she keeps moving vials and pots, until she finally finds the potion she'd been looking for in the cabinet, "I'm sure you must have plenty of patients to take care of," I add, "but that could get infected," I point to her cheek, trying to be nice, since apologies have never been my thing, but she looks at me as if I'd just insulted her.
"That would actually be a treat," she replies with an ironic tone I'd never heard on her and, as she keeps the vial in her pocket, she tries to make it to the door, but I stop her.
"I need to find Minerva," I say, "or whoever is in charge."
She looks up at me, anger behind the tears blurring her eyes.
"Is that a joke?"
"What do you mean?" I ask, feeling dizzy and confused, probably because of the potions she's been giving me.
"Look, Severus," she dries her tears and stares directly into my eyes with a fierce look, "for the sake of old days, I'll say I'm glad you're on your feet, but now that the war is over, there's no more need to pretend we ever were friends."
"If I've ever pretended it was during this past year," I say, finally glad to be able to tell the truth after so long, freed from all my lies, and she frowns as she struggles against my grasp, "that's why I need to find Minerva, I must tell her it was all pretend, I was only following Dumbledore's stupid plan to gain You-Know-Who's trust so I could help the boy, and…" suddenly, her expression changes to something I can only describe as shock. With her wand still on her hand, she raises it and for a moment I think she's going to attack me, but instead she just locks the door.
"This better not be any kind of trick," she speaks in a low voice, as if afraid someone could hear us.
"It's not, I swear. I don't care if I have to go on trial and end up in Azkaban. I just want for this farce to be over, I'm tired of hiding, and lying, and pretending…" I confess, "Yes, I did kill Dumbledore, but only because he asked me to, he was cursed, he was already dying…"
"I know," she admits, "he never showed me but I noticed the symptoms. Curses act in strange ways, sucking your life slowly from the inside and giving you an agony that can last for years unless…"
"Unless you put an end to it," I finish her sentence and then continue, "The Dark Lord had asked Malfoy's boy to take care of Dumbledore, if you know what I mean; secretly, his mother came to me to make sure his son would never have to do such a thing and that I would do it myself; when I went to tell the Headmaster, he said it was all meant to be, that I would have to kill him so that I wouldn't be seen as a traitor by the Death Eaters anymore."
"You mean it was all a set-up," she says.
"Yes."
"You were on our side all along."
"Yes."
"This past year with the Carrow siblings in the school, you were only playing a part," she concludes.
"Yes."
"And now…" her voice trembles, I let go of her arm and she brings her hands to her mouth to stop a cry.
"Now the Dark Lord's defeated," I say, and she bursts into tears, and I begin to understand, "is he not?" I ask, and she shakes her head, "What do you mean, woman? What happened?"
"Potter died."
"What? NO! No! That can't be true! He had to accomplish the prophecy," I say in denial, "Dumbledore said he was meant to die, but that he would relieve and…"
"That never happened. He just died, and although we tried to put a last fight, they won the battle. Now You-Know-Who is running the war from Hogwarts, but there isn't much hope given that he already has the Ministry under his power."
"No. This can't be true," I still can't believe it.
"They outnumbered us and most of the people had lost hope. People began to disapparate away. Some of us stay just to hold them back so the students could escape through the secret passages. We were prepared to die, but they made us prisoners instead. They took us to the dungeons and tortured us for information or just fun," she stops for a moment as if the memories were haunting her, "I was lucky. They needed me to treat the injured, that's why I'm still alive," she explains, and now I understand her previous reaction, and that 'my old friends' on the hospital beds she referred to are not my fellow professors, but the Death Eaters injured during the battle.
"When was this?" I ask, "How long have I been unconscious?" I must know.
"Two weeks," she says, "when they brought your body to the Castle you were almost dead. That snake's venom had expanded through all your body, but somehow, not affected any vital organ yet so, I knew that there was a chance," she explains, "although, to be honest, I wasn't really sure you were going to make it."
"I…"
"No, Severus, don't thank me. They thought you were dead and if it had been my choice I would have let them put you in one of the piles of bodies outside the yard and you would have burned with them," she says, and somehow her tone tells me not all the bodies in those piles were really dead, which makes me see the Matron of the school with different eyes, "but Minerva's last words to us were that we had to find you, so when they brought you in…"
"Minerva's last words?" I interrupt, a pain suddenly growing inside of me when the thought of Minerva being dead comes back to my mind. I know most of my old colleagues might not have made it, but giving names and faces to all these hypothetical bodies, hurts; specially if one of them is her. Minerva was the only person in the staff that always treated me as an equal, even after Dumbledore's death, she never seemed to believe it had been me who'd done it. "Is she…?"
"I don't know," Pomfrey says, and I'm relieved, "The last time I saw her she was giving instructions to everybody to ensure the safety of the students," she explains, "then she turned to a few of us and said we had to find you, she didn't say why and we didn't ask. Honestly, I thought she wanted you curse your ass herself, but if what you just told me is true… Maybe she thought you could help."
"I don't think so…" I admit.
The last time we were together she didn't demonstrate such care towards me, on the contrary, Minerva seemed more than determined to eliminate me… although she didn't, she missed that stunner, and Minerva never misses, not unless it was in purpose. Was she maybe pretending? Could it be that she knew? No… right? I mean, this past year we've been side by side and she's never given me a single sign that she knew anything other than what I let people believe, so… I don't know. Maybe Dumbledore told her.
Anyway, if she's alive I have to find her. She's the only person I know that can help me figure out what to do.
"Do you know where she could be?" I ask.
"I don't even know if she's alive, Severus."
"Well, if she was, where would they take her? Where are all the others?"
"They took everybody to the old dungeons, but I haven't seen anyone since they brought me up here."
As I try to cope with fact that I have two blank weeks in my mind during which I was peacefully sleeping on a hospital bed while my old colleagues were being savagely tortured, I try to focus on my plan ahead. I need a wand and shoes.
"Take care of that burn," I tell Pomfrey before I leave, barefoot and wandless, and aware that I will be walking down the halls of a different Castle than the one I knew.
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TO BE CONTINUED…