Oh My Goodness. Shes gone, shes really gone! I cant believe it. It was so sad and I ..just cant believe it! I'll admit I shed a tear..ok i shed a bucket load!! Im really upset shes gone, just the thought of CSI without Jorja seems..pointless.. No Jorja No Sara No GSR No CSI! I know alot of people are saying they wont watch again but personally I dont know yet.. It just doesnt seem to appeal to me right now. I think I just had my heart broken for the first time. For the people who wanted it : The letter is included in this story.
Summary: I have to admit I'm a little proud of this drabble. Its Grissoms POV. Its about him knowing all along how he would end up hurt. How his life started to turn into something it should have never been. I hope to write a few more drabbles like this while im feeling so down. So let me know what you think.
Gil,
You know I love you. I feel I've loved you forvever.
Lately I haven't been feeling very well, truth be told I'm tired. Out in the desert under that car that night, I realised something and I havent been able to shake it. Since my father died I spent almost my entire life with ghosts, we've been like close friends and out there in the desert it occured to me that its time for me to bury them. I can't do that here. I'm so sorry. No matter how hard I try to fight it off, I'm left with the feeling that I have to go. I have no idea where I'm going but I know I have to do this. If I dont I'm afraid I'll self destruct and worse you'll be there to see it happen. Be safe. Know that I tried very hard to stay. Know that you are my one and only. I'll miss you with every beat of my heart. Our life together was the only home I ever really had. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love you. I always will. Goodbye.
Alone. In his dark office. Grissom sat amongst the shadows. She was gone. Just like that. Why didn't she take him with her? He wasn't sure he knew what was going on, he read the letter but it was just words. What did they mean? Had she left him? He sat numb in his chair, the chair he sat in everyday. The chair he had sat in whilst Sara was sat on the identical one, the opposite side of his desk, everyday whilst they discussed work, their cases, where to go for dinner. He picked up the letter and read it again. He read the words "I feel I've loved you forever." over and over, he grit his teeth, angry at himself for wasting so much time. For taking so long to decide to take a chance on her. It turned out the right thing to do. Although he knew she would hurt him one day. You cant love someone so much and not get hurt. He always thought that true. And now she had proved it to him, he was thankful for that. He was right all along. He had loved her for nine years of his life and her leaving him proved a man like him couldn't afford to take a chance like the one he had taken. He wasn't meant to feel like this. He was meant to be Gil Grissom, Doctor. Emotionally detatched. Lives for his job. But that chance he had been so wary about taking had bit him in the ass. Finally. They were happy. He should have known it was coming, he should have known he was being lulled into a false sense of security. He was being teased with what life could be like for him, what his life shouldn't have ever turned out to be. Then it was taken away. And he was back to himself. But changed forever. They say 'You don't know what you've got until its gone.' But he knew all along.