A/N: So it's been a long time, but a plot bunny bit me. It's a Wolfstar one-shot; a drabbley...thing. I obviously don't own, or the Marauders would have pranked happily together all their days. ;)
It wasn't just Prongs and Lily and Wormtail. As if that wasn't enough.
You murdered Moony, too.
Remus is the only one left.
And Merlin, how he wants.
He wants to laugh again.
He wants to sleep without nightmares or the scent of a traitor on his pillow.
He wants his family back.
He wants Padfoot back.
They were laughter and pranks and marauding. They were full moons spent exploring. They were the keepers of his secret. They were long nights at the library and bribes of chocolate and detentions. They were pack.
But Remus has always wanted, and he knows how it ends.
He wanted to be human.
He wanted friends.
He wanted love.
And the only thing worse than an unrealized wish is a granted one that leaves you emptier and colder than you have ever been; a dream realized that only makes you wish something else... I wish I had never met any of you.
And then, of course, because it's Remus he feels guilty for wishing. Someone needs to remember all that happened, no matter how much it rips him apart. James was so full of life, Lily so full of love, and Peter so full of devotion; They deserved a million shrines and all they got was Remus. He obviously failed them in life; He would not fail them in death.
Even if it hurt.
And Sirius. He was everything; and everywhere. The stale smell of smoke that will never leave the flat, the Buzzcocks blaring from a pub, the brightest star in the sky. He was twinkling grey eyes, he was arms wrapped around him at night and he was tender hands healing wounds. He was love.
Until he wasn't.
Now he's an empty bed, a silent flat, and memories. He's a guilty conscience and a thousand unanswered questions. He's a slayer and a betrayer.
The only thing Remus wants more than Sirius tortured and dead and hated is Sirius alive and well and loyal beside him.
And for that, he hates himself.
He wants a time-turner.
He wants to forget.
He wants to be gone, because why him?
But Remus knows that wishes are landmines. And he is so full of shrapnel it's amazing he can still breathe.
But he can't help wishing that he'd never wished at all.