Chapter 1: Tobias - Chaos

As I walk through the doors of the Bureau, the first thing that I notice is that Tris isn't here. I spot Cara and ask her,

"Where is Tris?"

All she says is,

"I'm sorry, Four."

That's all it takes; I instantly understand.

Tris went instead of Caleb.

Of course she would, she was too selfless not to.

Beside me, Christina falls to the floor and starts crying, and I feel tears threatening my eyes, but I will myself not to cry.

Not here at least. I know that I will cry; I'd be crazy not to. The love of my life, the only person I ever felt truly alive with, is dead.

Pictures of Tris fill my mind; when I saw her grey form fall into the net, when she ate her first hamburger, her eyes when I picked her first for Capture the Flag, when she climbed the Ferris Wheel. When I threw knives at her head, when I showed her my fear landscape and when I kissed her at the bottom of the Chasm. I pull myself back to the present and try to process everything.

Cara helps Christina up and leads us down a hallway to what I presume to be the Morgue, when suddenly, Caleb comes running up to us.

I clench my fists, thinking that Tris should be here, not Caleb. Then he says,

"It's Tris. She woke up. She's alive."

As soon as the words have left his mouth, my spirits start to lift. As calmly as I can, I ask him,

"Where is she? Can we go see her?"

Caleb doesn't answer; instead he motions for us to follow him.

We follow Caleb, walking at a brisk pace towards the hospital.

Christina and I walk silently side by side, whilst Caleb and Cara talk about something that I don't understand.

When we reach the hospital, Caleb walks away from us up to a woman at the front desk, and soon we are being led to Tris' room by a doctor.

"Here we are. I'll just see how she is doing and give her some medication. You can just sit down over there while you wait."

The doctor says, and walks into Tris' room. I don't think I can wait any longer to see Tris, but I have no other choice, so I go sit by myself in the corner, not wanting to be disturbed whilst I wait for the doctor to tell us how she is.

After what seems like hours, the doctor walks out.

"Can we see her now?"

I ask, trying to sound calm, although I'm not sure if it works.

"I'm afraid not. Tris is currently in surgery, as she received multiple bullet wounds. One in the stomach, and one to the head. To be honest with you, it's a miracle that she didn't die straight away, or bleed out slowly."

The doctor says, and I ask him the question that's itching away at me.

"Who shot her?"

The doctor calmly says,

"David shot her."

I was expecting it to be him, but I am still surprised, but that is overridden by my anger. The doctor must sense that I am angry, because he says,

"Don't worry; he has been locked up in a jail cell while the Bureau determines what to do with him."

With that, he walks away, leaving us alone. I go back to my spot in the corner and silently wait for Tris to come back from surgery.

A while later, Caleb comes over. I'm still angry at him for letting Tris go into the Weapons Lab, but part of me is happy that Tris' one true family member is still alive, even if he is a traitor.

"Hey, Four. I know that you are mad at me for letting Tris go, and I don't blame you. I wanted to go, to make it up to her, and everyone in the city that I have wronged, but Tris wouldn't let me go. I just want you to know that I don't expect you to ever forgive me. To be honest, I don't want you to forgive me, because everything I have ever done has harmed either you or Tris, and I made your lives hell. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I'm happy that Tris has got someone like you to take care of her."

As he finishes, he walks away, leaving by myself again.

After what seems like hours of waiting, a doctor comes out of Tris' room.

"I'm sorry, but you can only go in one at a time. Who's first?"

Everyone looks at me, so I walk into the room, preparing myself for the worst.

As I walk in, I notice that Tris is still asleep. I drag the plastic chair that was by the wall over to her bedside and sit down. There are tubes going into her hand, and a mask is covering her mouth to help her breathe. Her head has a bandage around it, protecting the wound from the bullet. I hold her hand and say,

"I am so sorry, Tris. I should have been here to protect you."

As I say that, a tear drops from my eye onto her face. I wipe it off and continue, saying,

"If you had died, I wouldn't be able to continue to live. My whole world revolves around you, and I don't want to ever have to experience anything like this ever again."

I can't continue without crying, so I just look at her face, still beautiful after all that she's been through. After a couple of minutes I walk out, letting the others see Tris for themselves.

As I walk out of the room, I say to everyone in my instructor voice,

"She's asleep, and I'd like it to stay that way. You wake her up and you have to deal with me. Got it?"

Everyone nods their heads, so I sit down in my corner again. Caleb walks into Tris' room next.

When he comes out, his eyes are red and puffy. He quickly says goodbye to everyone and leaves. Next, Christina walks in to see Tris. When she walks out, her makeup is all ruined from crying. She comes and sits down next to me as Cara walks in and says

"You love her a lot, don't you?"

I reply by saying,

"Yeah, I do."

Unexpectedly, Christina says,

"I always saw you as scary and mean, and I didn't know what Tris saw in you. But now, I get it. You care about her a lot, and you guys have mutual respect for each other. You're like partners; you've always got each other's backs, while also loving each other at the same time. The way that you look at each other, it's like there's no one else worth looking at."

As she finishes I say,

"That's because there isn't."

After that, we wait in silence until Cara comes out.

Minutes later when Cara comes out and they say goodbye, I go back into Tris' room. I sit in the chair and watch Tris as she sleeps, her chest rising and falling as she breathes. When she sleeps, her face is so relaxed, like there isn't a worry in the world. After a while, I fall asleep to the sounds of her even breaths.