Title: Innocent
Fandom: AOT
Author: ice shredder
Spoilers: Nothing major
Main character POV: Petra Ral
Disclaimer: not mine, just having some fun
Summary: She had been so adamant for Eren to stick to the plan. To not go titan and trust in their abilities. She'd gotten it all wrong. She should've let Eren act. But fear and pride got in the way. And it was for this reason that she wished she could come back to life and do everything over again.
Petra glided through the Titan Forest, silent as a shadow. Not even the animals acknowledge her transparent form as she revisited the place where she met her gruesome end.
She saw the giant stain of blood splashed like red paint all over its rough bark. Remembered her shock and terror as the Female ran her down and smashed her into the tree with authority. As if she was nothing more than a pesky insect that needed to be stomped on by a god.
She recalled the impact being so fast she didn't have time to feel pain. She wished with her whole being that she could tell Levi and Eren her end was quick. That she didn't suffer. That she was in a better place with no more pain, or death or tears. That she blamed herself for not allowing Eren to help them fight.
But most important of all, that they shouldn't blame themselves for this horrible tragedy.
Her mortal body was long gone. She'd been shadowing the cart carrying the dead when she heard Levi give the order to dump the bodies. She wanted so badly to be alive then so she could take away the empty lifelessness in his grey eyes.
Thaw the dangerous layer of ice re-forming around his soul.
Hold him tight and whisper sweet nothings in his ear.
Reassure Levi of her fierce, passionate love for him. That he shouldn't let her death drive him deeper into darkness, warp the man she had worked so hard to draw out of that lightless hole into something even he wouldn't recognize. She didn't want him to abandon his humanity. But she was dead. She had no more say in his affairs.
She sighed, forgetting she no longer needed that basic human function. Eren would beat himself up over this the poor kid. But it wasn't his fault the Levi Squad had gotten killed.
It was hers.
She had been the one who insisted the boy trust in their skills as a team. How foolish. How arrogant. Thinking back, she realized the bitter irony.
Eren's titan ability would've been a difference maker in that fatal confrontation. Her stupid, idiotic emphasis on trust had ended in complete disaster. But she'd always been that way, ever since she was a child. Her dear father had instilled those values in her growing up and she never deviated from that path.
She believed in following directions to the letter. Joining the Scouts and later receiving the distinct honor of getting hand-picked by Levi himself-the only woman out of the entire bunch-allowed pride to sneak into her system. And as the old saying went, pride goeth before a fall and out of all of them, she fell the hardest.
It was embarrassing.
One moment she was trash-talking the Female like some hot-shot and the next she was fleeing through the woods barely skimming the ground. Panicking like a cadet.
Her fear led her to repeatedly insist Eren give them his trust instead of theirs. The men only reinforced it. She wished she could take it back.
She wanted to turn back time and confess her feelings to Levi. Wanted so badly to feel his strong arms holding her protectively, that she'd momentarily forget they lived in a world where the strong survived and the weak perished. For it was only during those stolen moments in his office or her bedroom or any private place they could find in the old castle that she truly felt safe from the cruelty and death outside.
But those things were nothing more than vapors on the wind she traveled on. For the umpteenth time since she'd been mercilessly crushed, she wondered why she'd been so adamant for Eren to stick to the plan and not deviate. To not go titan and trust in their abilities as an elite team.
She'd gotten it all wrong.
She should've let Eren act.
But fear and pride got in the way. And it was for this reason, that she wished to come back to life and do everything over again. Forbidding the boy to use his powers was nothing more than her-and the others-giving in to their collective fear.
She said those things because she had been terrified he might turn on the group instead of focusing on killing the Female Titan.
She realized she'd been too innocent. Not in the ways of the world or in killing titans, but in the childish belief to hope things would get better. She changed yes, but it wasn't fast or extreme enough. Not enough to survive the brutality of the titan-ravaged world.
Oh yes. She'd been far too trusting.
Too soft.
Too attached to people.
Especially Levi. She sensed her death would affect his future decisions big time. She wouldn't be there to keep him sane and grounded. Keep him human. That was her biggest regret. She wouldn't be around to see her dream of becoming wholly, completely devoted to him in every way possible.
That she would never bear him children. Or make him coffee. Or serve him his beloved black tea in his office while he was bent over paperwork.
She didn't want to see him so shattered he couldn't put himself back together again.
Petra wanted Levi to be happy. To gain a measure of well-deserved peace. To give love a second chance. To find another special woman that would complete his life.
But most of all.
She wanted both those precious men to eventually forgive themselves.
After all, the ginger thought as she soared above the treetops into the blue sky where the rest of the boys waited, no one can really predict what the future holds.
-end
A/N: Hope y'all enjoyed guys. Levi's kinda the Daryl Dixon of 'Attack on Titan'. Strong. Emotionally detached. Skilled fighter. Petra reminds me a lot of Beth Greene. Sunny. Optimistic. Hopeful. And yes, very much innocent even though the world she lives in is infested with the undead she still represents the hope that things could be better. And as always, reviews are fuel. Love u guys! :)