A/N: I got the idea for this story after viewing Sharon and Rusty's conversation about the sonogram clouding his judgement, and it occured to me that maybe Sharon knew that feeling better than she was letting on.

This story deals with the theme of abortion. Personally, I am pro-choice, but I followed the show's timeline as I understand it.

If you choose to leave a review, please keep it civil. Thank you.


Sharon had an odd feeling. She didn't know exactly what was wrong, but she knew that she wasn't her regular self. First of all, she was tired, and not the regular exhaustion that came with her job, but an urgent and incessant need to sleep anywhere and anytime. She realized it was getting out of hand when Officer Jansen, her partner woke her up after she fell asleep on his shoulder in their patrol car. She apologized repeatedly and blushed a bright shade of red. He simply grinned and said he didn't mind. It was the same day, when she was taking a shower down at the station when she started becoming dizzy. Afraid of slipping, she closed the water and grabbed her towel, wrapping it around herself.

"Sharon," she heard another woman's voice. It was Sergeant Alice Marks, with whom Sharon sometimes ate lunch. "You look completely out of it. Are you not feeling well?"

"My head is spinning," she responded and barely made it to the bench before she felt her feet collapsing under her.

"Have you been in the sun today?" Alice asked, and Sharon shook her head. "Maybe you're coming up with something. You look kinda green," she suggested. "It happens to me sometimes a couple of days before I get my period, you know. Stupid hormones." Sharon's ears involuntarily perked up at the word 'period'. Her period was due more than 8 weeks ago, but she was often late, so she didn't think she had any reason to worry about it.

"Yeah, that must be it," she said. She did feel kinda bloated and Jack did mention that she has become rather moody in the last few of weeks.

"Just take it easy, it's gonna be fine," Alice promised her and squeezed her shoulder. "Is it the end of your shift?" Sharon nodded. "I just finished mine as well, I can drive you home if you want. It's better for you not to drive if you're dizzy."

"Sure. Thank you, Alice. I appreciate it," she said.

"It's perfectly fine. We all have these days," Alice shrugged.


Sharon hated waiting rooms. The smell of disinfectant and the dull colors always managed to bring her mood down. She leaned forward in her chair and buried her face in her palms. She was tired and slightly queasy and she has spent more time in this waiting room for the past week and a half than she spent with Jack, who was busy studying for the bar exam. She couldn't wait until he would finally pass it and get a job, so she could take her turn and go to law school as well.

"Sharon Raydor?" the clerk announced her name, and she nodded and went into the doctor's office.

"Mrs. Raydor, how are you feeling today?" Dr. Jenkins asked, after she took a seat in front of him.

"Not much better than the last time I was here," She replied.

"Yes, I heard that the lab misplaced your blood sample and that you had to come in and retake it," Dr. Jenkins said. "But at last, we have the results." He opened a file and examined one of the pages. "So, last time you were here, you complained about headaches, nausea, dizziness and you mentioned that your period is late."

"Yes, it always does," Sharon offered a faint smile. "It's been almost 3 months now," she sighed.

"Well, the blood work and your urine sample have come back, and both tests indicate that you are pregnant," Dr. Jenkins announced.

"I'm what?" Sharon cringed.

"You are pregnant, Mrs. Raydor," the doctor said.

"No, but that's impossible," Sharon said.

"When you filled in the forms a couple weeks ago, you mentioned that you are sexually active," Dr. Jenkins pointed at her medical file. "Is that not true?"

"I am, but my husband and I always use protection, so I can't be pregnant," Sharon argued.

"Yes, I see you mentioned in the form that you have been using condoms, and that is great, except it's not always a 100 percent effective contraception," Dr. Jenkins explained.

"No, there must be a mistake. Maybe the lab switched my blood test with someone else's. Can you do the tests again, please?"

"Mrs. Raydor, the tests are accurate. We are not going to repeat them," the doctor said.

"You don't understand! I cannot be pregnant. I am supposed to go to law school next year. I can't have a baby right now," Sharon rarely found herself as stressed and upset as she was now. How did this happen to her? It was just so unfair.

"Mrs. Raydor, let's talk about your options," the doctor suggested.

"You mean abortion, right?" Sharon said.

"Yes, termination of the pregnancy may be one of your options. You mentioned that it's been almost 3 months since you last got your period, and therefore if you wish to terminate your pregnancy, you may have a very narrow window of opportunity to do so. For this reason, I will refer you to an OBGYN who will do a sonogram and will be able to tell you if the option is still valid for you," Dr. Jenkins said. He handed her a note with the name of a doctor. "I don't normally do it, but please wait here while I give her a call and ask her to fit you into her schedule." Sharon nodded and sulked into her chair as she listen to Dr. Jenkins talking to the OBGYN. "Alright, she can fit you in tomorrow at 9 AM," Dr. Jenkins said when he hung up the call.

"Thank you, I really appreciate that," Sharon said.


Jack was reading when Sharon unlocked the door to their studio apartment. She hated that place. It was too small and gloomy for her liking, but that was all they could afford on an officer's salary. He looked up from his law book and smiled at her.

"Hi there," he said cheerfully.

"Hi," she responded faintly.

"Were you at the doctor's?" he asked, putting his book aside and walking towards her.

"I was," Sharon replied.

"And what did he say? What's up with you?" Jack asked, placing his hands on the sides of her waist. "It's just a bad case of the flu, right?"

"No," Sharon's voice cracked.

"Sharon, what's going on? What did the doctor say?" Jack asked and a concerned expressioned appeared on his face.

"I'm… pregnant," Sharon said.

"What? That's great news, Sharon!" Jack called out and leaned in to kiss her. She moved away from him.

"No, it's not," she responded.

"Of course it is. Why would you say anything like that?" Jack insisted.

"Because it's not the right time for us to have a child, Jack. You're still studying, and I want to go to law school too, and it's never gonna happen if I have a baby now," Sharon explained.

"I can't believe you're saying that, Sharon. You care more about yourself than about our child?"

"I don't want it, Jack. At least not right now," Sharon said.

"But you are having it right now, and there's nothing you can do about it, so suck it up and act like a grown up," Jack exclaimed.

"There is something I can do about it," Sharon said.

"Do not tell me you're considering having an abortion, Sharon. It's our baby!" Jack's face became flush with anger.

"I have an appointment with a gynecologist tomorrow, and if she confirms it's an option, I'm going to end the pregnancy, Jack," Sharon said.

"You have no right to do this. It's our baby, Sharon!" Jack raged.

"It's my body, and my choice," Sharon insisted.

"Stop peddling this feministic crap, Sharon. It's not like you're a 16 years old who got pregnant by mistake," Jack started. "You're a married woman, and every decision you make affects me too."

"A baby is not a fleeting thing, Jack. It's a responsibility that I am not ready to take right now," Sharon explained. "I'm sorry, but it's just not the right time for this."

"If you're going through with this, then we are over, Sharon," Jack stated

"If you can't support my decision, then you are not the person I thought you were!" Sharon responded.

"Well, I don't care what you think. You are wrong." Jack said and began collecting his belongings.

"Where are you going?" Sharon asked.

"Away from you," Jack said before storming out of the apartment. Sharon sighed. That was absolutely not how she imagined the conversation going. She hoped he would support her, and understand her reasoning, even if he didn't like what she was about to do. It was disappointing to discover that he was willing to sacrifice the rest of their lives together over a life that wasn't fully formed yet.

She tiredly dragged herself to the bedroom and dropped into bed, not even bothering changing into her pajamas. She was too exhausted to handle the way things were right now.


Sharon's stomach was cramping and turning as she walked into Dr. Lisbon's office. She covered her mouth with her palm and took a deep breath before sitting down in front of the middle-aged female doctor. Dr. Lisbon gave her an understanding smile.

"Taking deep breaths from your nose usually eases the nausea," she said. Sharon gave her a quick nod and inhaled deeply several times before she felt a slight relief. "So Dr. Jenkins mentioned that you're considering termination," Dr. Lisbon cut down to the chase. It made Sharon like her already. She nodded. "And he also mentioned that you may be about 3 months along."

"I'm not sure when I conceived," Sharon admitted.

"Well, that's what sonograms are for," Dr. Lisbon said and directed Sharon to the examination bed. "Please unbutton your jeans and push it slightly down," Dr. Lisbon instructed her after Sharon laid on the bed. "It's gonna be a little cold," she said before applying a greenish gel to Sharon's lower stomach and placed the ultrasound probe over it, slowly gliding it across Sharon's abdomen until she was able to receive a clear image on the screen. "Okay, so first I'll take a few measurements so we can tell how far along you are," Dr. Lisbon said and examined the screen, marking digital lines around the white blobs that appeared on the screen. Sharon watched the screen, her eyes fixated on it, even though she wasn't sure what she was seeing. "Alright, Sharon. Your pregnancy is 11 weeks and 1 day old," she said. "A termination can be performed up until week 12, which gives you 6 more days to follow through with it." Sharon bit her bottom lip and stared at the screen with a blank expression. "Would you like me to explain to you what you're seeing?"

"Yes, please," she responded faintly.

"Okay, here is your baby's head," Dr. Lisbon pointed at a big white circle on the screen. "And this is the spine," she traced an elongated curvy line with her finger. "Feet," she pointed at two faint white spots. "And arms," she showed Sharon two smaller spots. "And this blinking here, is the baby's heart," she pointed at a white spot that flashed on and off the screen. Tears began welling in Sharon's eyes and she covered her face with her palms, before she let them burst.

"I don't know what to do," she cried.

"It's never an easy decision whether to terminate or keep a pregnancy," Dr. Lisbon said. "And it's not my place to judge or give advice. I can only provide medical information." She handed Sharon a box of Kleenex.

"When I came in here, I was sure I was going to have an abortion, but now… It's moving and it has a heart that's beating, and I don't know if I can do this," Sharon grabbed a tissue paper and blew her nose. "I have so much to lose if I keep it, and so much to lose if I have an abortion."

"You don't have to decide right this minute. I have an opening to perform a termination of pregnancy the day after tomorrow. Why don't you take a day to think about it, and you can let me know tomorrow," Dr. Lisbon said.

"Yeah," Sharon replied. It was better than nothing.

"Do you have any questions?" Dr. Lisbon asked. Sharon nodded slowly, as she wiped her tears with the tissue paper.

"Is the baby healthy?" Sharon asked.

"Judging by the ultrasound, it seems so," Dr. Lisbon replied.

"Can you already tell if it's a boy or a girl?"

"Well, it's not a 100 percent clear yet, but it seems to be a girl," the doctor said. "Would you like a print of the sonogram to take with you?"

"Yes, please," Sharon said and Dr. Lisbon smiled at her warmly.


Jack was sleeping on the couch in their living room when Sharon returned from work late in the evening. A law book was laying open on his chest, and he rested his palm on it protectively. Sharon knew he was a good student. His marks were high and he truly enjoyed attending law school. Gently, she lifted the book from his chest and shoved a bookmark before closing it and placing it on the coffee table.

"Jack, wake up," she whispered and shook his shoulder gently. He stirred and mumbled something before opening his eyes. "Hi," she said. He sat up. The anger from last night was no longer in his eyes and Sharon was happy about that. "You fell asleep with your books again," she said softly. He hummed, and stared at her blankly. "Can we talk about last night?" she asked.

"What is there to talk about? I want the baby and you don't, and you're going to do whatever you want with it, disregarding my feelings about it." Jack responded in defeat.

"I went to the doctor this morning," Sharon started.

"Is it done, then? Did you have the abortion?" Jack asked.

"No, I didn't. I… I saw the baby, and it made me doubt my decision, but I'm still conflicted. On one hand, if I have the baby, I won't be able to go to law school, and if I choose to terminate the pregnancy and go to law school, I may never really know this baby that's inside me right now. I want two things so badly and I can't decide which one of them I should give up, Jack." Tears streamed down Sharon's face.

"I thought you said you're not ready to become a mother yet," Jack reminded her.

"I did, and I'm still not ready. A mother needs to put her child's needs first, and doing that is so hard for me, Jack. Would you give law school up for your future child?"

"I don't know, Sharon. I'm almost done with it, and you haven't even gotten into law school yet. My dream has already been realized and yours is still just a dream. But the baby inside you is real. You said you've seen it today?" Jack asked.

"Yes," Sharon pulled the photo of the ultrasound out of her pocket and handed it to him, pointing the baby's different body parts. "The doctor said she believes it's a girl, but it's too early to know for sure."

"Sharon, sweetheart, this baby is not a dream. It's growing inside you. It's something you already have. Law school is something you're just hoping to achieve one day. And maybe you will, after the baby is born and is old enough to attend a day care. And by the time it happens, I'll probably have a steady job at a law firm and you will be able to leave your job at the LAPD and go to law school. We'll be a happy family," Jack said. "Your dream can come true. It's just gonna take a bit longer than you'd hoped for. And I'll help you make it happen, Sharon."

"You promise?" She asked, her eyes tearful.

"I promise, sweetheart," Jack captured her lips. Sharon wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes and imagined herself with a baby in her arms, lulling it to sleep. The mental image made her happy, and it was just the beginning. She smiled to herself. One day, she'll become a lawyer, she promised herself. But first, she would become a mother.

THE END


As always, I would love to know what you think about this story, so feel free to leave reviews or send me PM's.