There. She said it. The silence that followed wasn't uncomfortable at all. She was just waiting for the obvious reply. That the feelings were mutual, because she was sure that they were. She could see it in her eyes, in her smile when she looked at her.
Quinn felt how her wide smile shrunk and how her hands found each other, starting to fumble. The silence was getting longer and longer. She started to count the seconds that passed without any movement.
"Rach?" Quinn asked.
"Mhm?"
"Rach, you heard what I said right? Please, say something. Do something."
Rachel looked up at her and tried to keep her face blank. Quinn got nervous when she saw Rachels lips tremble.
"Quinn…" she sighed.
Oh no. This was not going according to plan.
"Quinn, I can't do this…"
Quinn stepped up to Rachel and grabbed her hands, not realizing how hard she was squeezing them.
"What do you mean? I know you love me back, you can't lie about that. Not to me… I know you… I can read you, Rach, I can see that you… You love me back, I can… I can see it right now… You want me… Please, want me back…"
"Quinn, it's not like that." Rachel tried to pull her hands back but Quinns grip was just too tight.
"Yes, it is. You love me." Quinn said curt.
Rachel looked down at their hands, her lips trembling. She sniffled and looked back up.
"Quinn, we can talk about this but can you please let go of my hands? You're kind of hurting me."
Quinn stared at her face, refused to let go but loosened her grip a bit.
"Talk about it, Rach. I'm listening."
"Quinn, you are my best friend. You've always been there for me just like how I've been there for you. And I love you for all that and I have to admit that I do have feelings for you for a long time now but…-."
"No, Rach… There's no but… We can be together, Rach. We're out of high school, we can just be together now." Quinn felt tears filling her eyes.
"But" Rachel continued, "I can't be with you… It's not that easy… I've thought about it a lot before and… God, Quinn.. Have you realized what we could lose if this wouldn't work? We could lose everything… I can't do this." Rachel pulled free her hands and turned her back at Quinn.
She couldn't help but think that she lost Rachel already by just being honest with her. She had never seen Rachel turn her back at something, but seeing her do it to her broke her heart. Quinn clenched her fists as she tried to keep her from doing what she was about to do. She had no choice, she had to prove Rachel how much she wanted her. She spun Rachel around, grabbed her face and pressed her lips to Rachels. It was over as soon as it started. Rachel pulled back and growled.
"I told you I can't do this, Quinn. I would like it if you left me alone now." Her voice sounded cold.
Quinn had to give up. This was all she could do. Tears ran down her cheeks as she nodded. She turned around and walked through the door. She looked back and leaned against the frame. Rachel watching her closely.
"It takes courage to love. If you don't have the strength to walk through fear, then love is not for you." Quinn told her.
Rachel pressed her lips in a thin line but didn't take back her last words. She wanted Quinn gone, now. So Quinn turned and walked out the house, into her car and left.