Most people will think this oneshot is on crack, most likely. But I wanted to post it because of reasons. So.

I'm part of an independent RP on Tumblr. There are four of us:

-Professor Longbottom, who answers all the weird and disturbing questions people throw at him

-Hannah Longbottom, his wife who runs the Leaky Cauldron

-Rose, a sixth-year Slytherin who loves Muggle music and is always getting into trouble

-Lizzie Bradley (me), an eighteen-year-old Muggle who is (for some reason) living with the Hufflepuffs, as part of the Muggle Studies class

(Lizzie and Rose love to go to Professor Longbottom's office and hang out and keep him on his toes.)

One of the little subplots we made up was that Lizzie had a secret admirer. He enchanted her mockingjay pin so the bird would bring her flowers and stuff like that. After a somewhat long and arduous period, she learns he's a seventh-year Gryffindor studying for his N.E.W.T.s in Muggle Studies. They start dating, and eventually I decided they should have an awkward first kiss. And this is what I came up with.

Signals. Look for signals.

Wait. What sort of signals? What kind of things should he be looking for? Was there a certain way she'd be acting?

Bother. This whole thing was giving him an unwanted headache.

Professor Longbottom had been of some help, but there was a very big difference between talking about something and actually doing something. Especially if that something was kissing your girlfriend for the first time.

Edmund Davis shook his head. This was silly. He was a Gryffindor, wasn't he? Where was that famous courage when he needed it? He should be able to just do it, and yet here he was, speculating and worrying himself sick. He could send her flowers and write her love notes, but he couldn't kiss her?

Granted, those flowers and notes had been anonymous, and didn't involve any sort of physical contact. He was still a bit surprised he'd been brave enough to do all that; he had wholeheartedly planned to admire her in silence until she went back home.

But she was just so sweet and kind, and talking to her about Muggle Studies had been easy enough - she was, after all, a Muggle - and he'd felt himself liking her the more time he spent with her. He'd finally decided to send her a few small things, just to let her know someone cared.

He hadn't planned that she'd search for him. She and Rose made a few attempts to find him, and he knew it was a good thing that he'd charmed Jay well enough that the little guy wouldn't reveal his identity. Being found out when he wasn't prepared for it would have resulted in him stuttering uncontrollably as he tried to explain himself, followed by him avoiding the two friends for the rest of the year. Maybe even longer.

He still felt terrible for standing her up. He'd been the one who had proposed meeting by the lake, and he'd been the one to cower behind a bush and sadly watch as she and Rose waited for him. They left after a while, and he cursed himself for being so scared when he saw her shoulders shaking, presumably from crying.

He hadn't been expecting her to turn around as easily as she had. He'd sent her more flowers and a note explaining himself, and this time he'd stood by the greenhouses, like he said he would. She'd appeared a while later with Professor Longbottom; she was crushing the poor man's hand so hard he must have been close to losing circulation.

Professor Longbottom had been giving her advice on the whole thing, he now knew. She and Rose were frequent visitors of his, so it wasn't a surprise he'd shown up that day for moral support. She had to tell him to go back to his office after half an hour; she and Edmund had been talking so much, there'd been no sign of them stopping, and it wasn't fair to the professor to stand a few yards away and watch awkwardly.

They'd talked for three hours after that. Half the things they discussed weren't even that important, and yet Edmund felt himself smiling at the memory. They'd both been a bit nervous, but that was expected, and after what seemed like a lifetime of him apologizing for not showing up the first time, they'd eased into conversation.

He felt his face heat up at just the memory of her telling him Professor Longbottom had known it was him - or had a suspicion, at least. He had mentally panicked for a good five minutes. How obvious had he been? Had she been tipped off? Was she going to tell him she wasn't interested and leave?

He should have guessed that Professor Longbottom would recognize a schoolboy crush, especially since he had gone to school here before. According to him, Edmund had been looking at her the same way Professor Longbottom looked at his wife when they were that age. Edmund hadn't even been aware that he'd been looking at her a specific way.

But it made sense now. Sometimes he found himself watching her play with a strand of hair, or getting lost in her eyes, or just smiling at her. It was a bit embarrassing to think a teacher had picked up on his feelings before he himself had.

His thoughts were interrupted by a tapping on his window, followed by a familiar four-note tune. The little golden mockingjay that had been his means of sending his secret admirer gifts was outside. He opened the window, and Jay flew in, landing on his pillow and singing again before sticking out his leg. A scrap of parchment was attached.

Edmund had been nervously sitting in his dorm for the past twenty minutes, anxiously awaiting a reply. He had decided he wanted to try to follow Professor Longbottom's advice, and so he'd asked if she'd like to go for a walk. Jay had been conveniently on a nearby tree branch just outside, which made the asking part easier than expected. But now that he had his answer, he felt his nervousness double.

Edmund untied the paper and was met with the familiar scrawl of one Lizzie Bradley.

Edmund,

A walk sounds lovely! I'll meet you by the front doors in ten minutes.

~Lizzie

She was already there when he descended the last few steps on the staircase. Jay flitted from his shoulder and tweeted to get her attention. She turned and smiled, holding out her hand so the bird could sit on her fingers.

"Hi, Jay," she said, stroking his little golden head. "You didn't give Edmund too much trouble, did you?"

"No," he said, wincing when his voice cracked. He cleared his throat. "He did nip me on the ear to speed up my walking."

"Jay!" Lizzie frowned a bit. "I told you not to nip people. That's incredibly rude."

The little bird chirped and returned to her circular pin. She rolled her eyes and turned to Edmund.

"Sorry about Jay nipping you," she said, wrapping her arms around him. "He's been acting up a lot lately."

"It's fine, Lizzie," Edmund replied faintly, feeling lightheaded from her closeness. He returned the hug, holding her for a few moments, enjoying the warm feeling that rose in his chest she seemed to have brought on.

Lizzie pulled away suddenly and grinned. "You ready?"

He blinked, his eyes widening. "Huh?" Did she know? How could she know?

"We're going for a walk, aren't we?"

"Oh, right!" He relaxed, his shoulders sagging a bit. "Yes, of course. Um…let's…let's go, then."

She gave him a look before following him out onto the grounds. The weather had been decent, considering how hot it had been the previous week. They wandered around the lake for a while before making their way to a bench in one of the greenhouses, Edmund gently taking her hand as they sat down.

"How are your N.E.W.T.s going?" Lizzie asked.

Edmund jerked his head up. "Oh, they're…they're fine." He coughed, the temperature in the room suddenly increasing. "We're, um, learning about television and telephones at the moment."

Lizzie smiled. "Must seem kind of strange to you, huh?"

"A little bit." Edmund shrugged. "Seems a bit much to have both in one home, and all those lights."

"It's expensive," Lizzie agreed. "But it's nice to have. I'm lucky enough that Rose gets good cellphone reception in her dorm and she owns a TV. I don't think my parents could handle not hearing from me for so long - or even worse, if I had to use a Patronus." She laughed. "Could you imagine?"

"Yeah." Edmund fiddled with the hem of his shirt, his hands shaking. Why were his palms so sweaty?

"Edmund…" Lizzie turned to face him. "Something's bothering you. Don't try to tell me there isn't, because I know there is."

His breath caught in his throat. What was he going to say? Professor Longbottom had suggested talking the idea over with Lizzie, but he felt that would make it all the more awkward. He stayed silent, trying not to fidget.

"Edmund, if something's wrong, you can talk to me about it, alright?" She looked him in the eyes. "I've been worried about you. You seem nervous about something."

She was telling the truth, he knew she was. And he couldn't lie to her, not when her eyes were looking at him like that. What was he going to do?

She would understand, wouldn't she? They'd been dating for a few weeks, and he was certainly ready. But what if she wasn't? Could he really risk that? He'd almost lost her once; he didn't want to go through that again.

She was sitting closer to him, that was the first thing he noticed. She lightly squeezed his hand, studying him. "Edmund? Are…are you alright?"

He was suddenly very aware of how many flowers were surrounding them. Why did they all have to smell so strongly? He was going to pass out, he was sure of it.

No, he couldn't. He was going to do this. He would be brave and do this.

He really should answer her. She obviously needed him to say something. But what could he say? His voice wasn't working, and he wasn't about to make some incoherent noise.

Why was he thinking things over? He should just move in and snog her already!

He hadn't even kissed anyone before. How was he supposed to do this? Should he have asked how? Was that too awkward?

He felt something warm hit the back of his hand, bringing him out of his thoughts. It took him less than a second to realize why there were now tiny droplets on his skin.

He had made Lizzie cry.

She was that worried about him that she was crying.

His mind went funny, blocking out all other thoughts and focusing on only her. Focusing on her eyes and how beautiful they looked, even filled with tears.

He reached up with his free hand and brushed her tears away, letting it linger, looking for any sign of reluctance. Finding none - in fact she seemed to be leaning into his touch - he cupped the side of her face, his stomach in knots and his heart racing a million miles a minute.

Edmund took a deep breath before leaning in, closing his eyes, and gently pressing his lips to hers.

His mind went blank, and all he knew was the feeling of her lips. Her soft, warm lips that tasted a bit like cherry. His heart was ready to explode out of his chest as it somehow beat faster. She relaxed into him, and a jolt went through his body, setting the hair at the back of his neck on end.

They pulled away, and he let his hand drop as he tried to regain his normal breathing. Lizzie blinked up at him, her cheeks flushed.

"Is…is that what you were so nervous about?"

He nodded, trying to dislodge his voice from his throat. "Yes," he finally managed to get out.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Edmund shook his head, suddenly unable to look directly at her. "I don't know, Lizzie," he answered honestly. "I…I guess I didn't want to make you feel awkward about it. And…and I was scared that maybe…you wouldn't want to…and you'd hate me…"

He felt her pull him into her arms, suddenly being held in her embrace. "You can tell me these things if they bother you, alright? I can't do much for you if I don't know what's wrong."

He brought his own arms around her, holding her to his chest. "I'm sorry, Lizzie. I must seem terribly cowardly to you right now."

She pulled away slightly, giving him a soft kiss that sent another shock through him. "Of course I don't." She smiled. "I think you're very brave. Not very many students I know would run the risk of kissing someone in a greenhouse."

He laughed, despite himself. "I nearly forgot Professor Longbottom practically lives in here."

She giggled, leaning back into his arms. "That was a lovely first kiss, Edmund," she said softly.

"I…I think so, too, Lizzie," he answered, smiling as he hugged her closer.

(And, when he was sure she wasn't paying attention, glanced around to make sure Professor Longbottom hadn't decided to spend the day in the greenhouse.)