credits to: irl-slyblue from tumblr for the fanart

I love her.

These words were a plague in his mind; a deathly thought that was eating him, an unwelcomed conqueror that would soon possess him and transform him into something unrecognizable, unwrapping the hideous creature he'd been concealing from his feeble mask of a big brother. It frightened him.

I love her.

Louder and louder, they were bouncing back and forth in his mind, protesting for their thought was poison to his mind, drugs to his heart, yet a remedy to his soul. It was insane. He is insane. But these thoughts were his anchor to his imperiled sanity. Because it felt so damn right that he was convinced it was the only rational thought left in him.

Stop. Just f*cking stop.

It sounded pathetic. The frail voice was on its last legs, it was the remaining defense he had, crouched in the corner; all battered and bruised, with his sheer willpower as its sustenance. He dreaded every second that had passed, because even his resolve were edging to destruction.

Because every added second of Gou's presence, of Gou's intimate proximity―there, in front of him; lying in his bed, in her most defenseless state and just within the reach of the hands she trusted― he'd lose every reason to stop.

Because she is your little sister and you are her big brother.

He'd imprint these thoughts in his mind whenever they were straying from the righteous path; hoping, believing, that these words were strong enough to overwrite, to cleanse the demonic thoughts invading him.

It's impossible.

Just give up.

But the harsh words were not enough to cease the instincts of his body. They didn't stop his treacherous hand from reaching out to her cheek, shaping the curve of her waist, combing the strands of her hair; his filthy eyes from wandering on her body; the dip of her collarbone, the soft lines of her neck, her parted lips ―God, those lips. He wanted to feel them, to taste them, to claim them; and consume every drop of the sensation with inexorable greed.

He wanted to hear his name uttered by her lips; breathless, screaming, begging for him and whispering her pleas; and he'd succumb to those saccharine words with his frenzied mouth on hers.

STOP. It's goddamn disgusting, for f*ck's sake.

But he couldn't. His body would not allow him, persisting to disregard his commands as it navigated on its own. And he was irrevocably lured by her, with the tangy scent of her strawberry shampoo, the calming warmth she exuded and the light snores she breathed. Manipulating his fingers as they caressed her cheek, her chin, her forehead; worshipping each and every curve of her face; her red locks sliding through every gap of his digits, settling them behind her ear.

Then it was his thumb, going down and down to her lips, tracing them, pressing its softness; and he was in complete horror, when her mouth was nearing his face, and her breath was mingling with his.

Stop―

Don't stop.

Don't do it―

Do it.

She's beautiful―

You're disgusting.

The contrasting thoughts emerging on his mind were turning into a chaos, and he was beginning to get lost in this internal madness.

The darkness was looming into him, patiently waiting for the pitiful resistance to dissipate into dusts. It wouldn't be long before this monstrosity would successfully possess him.

Just give in.

No.

He stopped. He closed his eyes; willing his thoughts to be suspended in the air and his hands to cease their movements.

You are in love with her.

Yes.

And if she loves you back?

Never.

Even with his vision obscured, his forehead had met hers, gathering her face with his palm. He squeezed her with repressed affection.

"Gou," he uttered with a shuddering breath, "Why is it so wrong to love you?"

It was a desperate call, the chirp of a dying bird pleading to live more, hopeless yet stubborn with his desperation for a second chance, a second life to make things right.

He didn't want to be heard. He didn't want her to know he was crumbling to pieces, and despise him for what revolting creature he was becoming. He didn't want to witness the change of her stare for him, a stranger in her eyes.

An acquainted warmth circled his wrist, and the moment he opened his eyes, the same ruby ones were staring back at him. He withdrew his forehead and his hand from her. He was horrified, because she knew, and now the end for him had come.

His mind had procured images of her subtle disgust, of her, running away from this room, escaping from him for as long as time would allow her. Because she would feel betrayed by the person she trusted the most, and the same person she knew who would protect her from the harms of the world. Rin could almost laugh with the hideous irony that he was the greatest harm for her.

But the reality before him was the complete contrast of his imagination. Has the truth ever been this kinder than one's fantasies? Because in that dreamlike scene, she was smiling; that kind of smile that would erase all the darkness in him. It was that smile that would always tell him, 'Everything's alright, onii-chan.'

Gou appeared so out of this world that she might've fallen from the sky. The rays of the sun were attracted to her, reflecting its radiance on her with such perfection.

And for a moment, Rin had thought, Gou must be an angel.

An angel who would be willing to forgive his sins and save him from this evilness.

She reached for his hand, filling its gaps with her slim fingers, clasping them together. She squeezed him, and laid their attached hands on her face. Her eyes softened, flooding him with her sincerity and reassurance.

"Nothing so wrong would ever feel this right, Rin."

"But Gou―"

Her finger pressed on his lips subdued his protests, "Shhhhhhh," she shushed, crawling her fingers behind his neck, "Rin, I've always wanted this."

With a firmer grasp on his neck, he was led closer to her face. And finally, he yielded to his defeat, emptying his exhausted mind. He closed his eyes. The moment their lips had touched, Rin knew it was not a mistake. It would never be a regret that would haunt him in the future. He claimed her mouth like how he wanted it to be; gentle but hungry, blissful but desperate, a sweet but violent torture. He had her caged within his arms, their body heats were colliding in a feverish manner. Her fingers were clawing into him, demanding more of his heat; from his scalp, to his neck, to his shoulders, settling them on his chest.

Rin pulled away, admiring the beautiful mess they had become. He held her wrist, engraving his lips on the softness of her palm, and biting her smooth flesh with his shark-like teeth. She winced, and he was pleased with the small sound of contained desire she produced. He rolled, and jailed her beneath his muscular built. He gathered her face, allowing his forehead to meet her. He gazed at her beyond her ruby eyes.

And he realized, he didn't need any salvation.

Tilting his head, as he inched closer to taste her lips once more. He whispered to her lips, "And I've always wanted you, Gou."

Because she was the sin he was desperate to commit, over and over again.

Surprise! Surprise! I had this sudden return of my muse for RinGou and I've been trying to heal my writer's block, so this fanfic happened. But it was not enough to update Her Wedding *hysterical laugh*

Hey, so, uhhh, you guys love RinGou right? I highly, highlyyyyyyy recommend this book entitled Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma, and yes it's incest. If you're prepared to be fvkd up, read this. And be sure to talk to me so we could weep together. Haha.

Reviews are very much appreciated!