The story so far…

I trained under Sensei Selkirk Rex for most of my life, until I was fourteen. He had a plan; once I defeated him, I'd become the new Selkirk Rex, and I'd in turn train a new apprentice who'd one day surpass me. Then a man named Odion, posing as a man named Marik, invited me to join the Ghouls. I knew it meant an opportunity to acquire some new, strong cards. Before I left, Sensei gave me a pendant with his favorite card, Fusilier Dragon. He claimed it was a reminder to return someday, but it was actually a way for him to project his spirit to wherever I was to act as my conscience.

After two years, I met Yugi and his friends. Their kindness and friendship reminded me that there was more to being a duelist than the acquisition of cards, so I turned against the Ghouls. When the real Marik turned into a monster, I realized I'd actually have to work with Yugi to defeat him.

Yugi beat me in the finals and took the Obelisk the Tormentor I won from Kaiba. I would've been sad to lose after going so far, but I knew Marik had to be stopped, as well as the importance of the pharaoh learning about his past. As I left the Duel Tower, Sensei appeared before me in person, telling me his real name was Darius Lynch, and that I already defeated him. He dubbed me the new Selkirk Rex, and I returned his card.

Then Yugi defeated Marik's darkness, and won the final God Card, as well as the key to unlocking the secrets of his past. Marik, Ishizu, and Odion returned to Egypt, Duke Devlin returned to America, and I went with Shizuka to teach her how to be a strong and honorable duelist like Joey.

This story continues before and during a period of history that I call the Yin-Yang saga…

000000000
Loki's Eyes

Late. How dare she be late for her first lesson? It took a long time for me to think up a lesson plan; since she agreed to let me teach her, the least she could do was show up on time. If I were in her shoes, I'd be thinking up a damn good excuse, lest she be struck down by my wrath.

Master Lynch wouldn't have excused me, so there's no reason I should've excused her.

Then again, Master Lynch was like a dad to me as well as a teacher. And I kind of have an infatuation with Shizuka. It's hard for me to think straight when I'm around her. Luckily, such isn't the case during a duel. In a duel, I'm a merciless warrior. And I'm usually the same way in real life but, as I said, Shizuka can make me lose focus.

She makes me crazy, and in more ways than one.

About twenty minutes after she was supposed to meet me she arrived, still dressed in her school uniform. "I'm sorry, Sensei. I was mopping my homeroom. I hope I didn't make you wait too long."

"Kawaii! She's so cute in that uniform!" I smacked my head, partly to scold myself for thinking that, and also because I forgot something. "Duh! I forgot it's customary for the kids to take turns at clean-up duty. Anyway, it's time to begin your lesson."

"But I forgot my Duel Disk."

"You won't need it." I led her to the park. Once we arrived I said, "Now, I want you to try to push me over."

She frowned. "You're kidding, right?"

"No." I dug in my heels. "I want you to try your best to push me down. And while you do, I want you to listen to my lecture. This exercise is to sharpen your listening and learning skills, even in the heat of combat."

"…Ok." She ran up to me took my hands, and tried to push me off balance.

As she strained, I began to speak. "You've heard talk about the 'Heart of the Cards', both from Yugi and myself. You've probably come to the conclusion that it means if you have enough faith, you'll be able to draw whatever you need, whenever you need it. But it runs deeper than that. When you have a true connection to your cards, you can duel without thought; you can duel with mere instinct, because you know exactly what your cards are.

"In a sense, part of your heart becomes the cards. You become the monsters that defend you, as well as the ones that attack. You become the spells that strengthen your forces and the traps that disrupt your opponent. You become the effect of each card, and every last lifepoint you lose and gain. And each time you carelessly lose a monster, you lose a part of your heart that you can't get back. If you carelessly get rid of your cards, your heart fades until it disappears completely. And a heartless duelist is a losing duelist."

I could tell that even though she was putting all of her strength into pushing me down, she was listening to every last word. That pleased me greatly. "But it extends beyond your side of the field. You also become your opponent's monsters, the spells that cripple you, the traps waiting to disrupt you, and your opponent's lifepoints. You become your opponent; you're his hopes and dreams, you're his hand and deck, and you're even the strategy he plans to take you down with. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she said without masking the strain in her voice. "You're saying everything in the duel is connected, one way or the other!"

"That's right. And in that state of Zen, your emotions disappear, and you're run purely by instinct."

To my surprise, she knocked me off balance by kicking my right leg. Without that support, she easily knocked me down. Unfortunately, my head collided with a tree. She gasped and knelt beside me, holding up three fingers. "I'm so sorry! How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Ooh, look at the pretty fishes!" I chuckled and said, "Don't worry; I'm fine. However, that was a dirty trick. You haven't become a dirty girl, have you?"

"No! I promise!"

"Too bad." I wasn't the one who said that. To my left, about twenty feet away, was a guy in a school uniform. "Don't tell me this is the teacher you were telling me about earlier, Shizuka. You're stronger than he is!"

"You know of me, then?" I asked as I climbed to my feet. "I guess I'm at a disadvantage, because I know nothing of you."

"No, I guess you wouldn't. The name's Aiko. And now, I must respectfully insist that you stop hanging with Shizuka."

"Why should I? Are you afraid she'll become stronger than you are?"

His eye twitched slightly. "Of course I'm not. She could never be that strong of a duelist. She just has better things to do with her time than spend it with you."

Ok, I really didn't like what he said about Shizuka's abilities. But I had the feeling he meant it differently than it sounded. That's why I decided to let it slide, but only once. Still, it didn't mean I wasn't going to talk about it. "I haven't even begun to teach Shizuka how to duel. But once I do, she'll even catch Seto Kaiba's attention."

"Heh. The only way that could happen is if she wore nothing but a Duel Disk." A second later, his head had a short, unpleasant encounter with my fist. He hit the ground hard. "What the hell was that?"

"When you insult my friends, I consider it a challenge to me. That punch was simply a way of saying, 'I accept.'"

He climbed to his feet. "You wanna duel? Then let's go!"

"Sensei, no!" Shizuka cried out. "Don't duel him!"

"He pushed me too far," I replied. "In the United Kingdom, the knights used to have a code of chivalry. Men who are rude to kind girls deserve everything they get. And that, I'm afraid, is a code I always abide by."

000000000
Loki's Eyes

We made our way to a dueling arena, where the tensions ran high, as there were a lot of people there who knew him. Apparently, my opponent was the big man on campus, being the school's top-ranked Kendo star. I wasn't remotely worried; I practiced swordplay myself, so this guy wouldn't be a challenge off the battlefield. On the battlefield, however…

"I hope you're ready to get beat," said Aiko.

"I think you'll find that I'm ready for almost anything," I shot back. "It's time to duel!"

4000/4000

"I'll go first," he said. "I summon Masaki, the Legendary Swordsman (1100/1000)! Then, I activate The Allied Forces! As long as this card remains on the field, all of my warrior monsters gain 200 attack points for every warrior and spellcaster on my side of the field. That's all for me."

I drew and examined my hand. "Hmm…oh, darn. All I can do is summon Chthonian Soldier (1200/1400) and set two cards."

"If there's any proof that Shizuka can't duel, just look at the fact that you're teaching her." I heard some laughter in the audience, mostly at my expense. "Alright, I summon Command Knight (1200/1900)! And this monster gives all of my warrior monsters 400 attack points!"

I frowned. "And since you now have two warriors on your field, your monsters receive 400 more from The Allied Forces. Altogether, your monsters have…800 extra attack points!"

"Well, at least you can add. Masaki, take out his monster!" He succeeded in destroying my monster, but received a nasty surprise.

3300/3300

"What the?" he exclaimed. "Why did my lifepoints drop too?"

"I guess you didn't know about my monster's special ability. Whenever it's destroyed in battle, you take lifepoint damage equal to the damage I took. And now, I activate my facedown card, Call of the Haunted! It brings my monster back in attack mode! Care to try again?"

Aiko growled. "I'll wipe that stupid grin off your face. Command Knight, wipe out his monster again!" Once again, my poor monster took a trip to the graveyard.

2500/2500

I chuckled. "So, will you end your turn, or would you like to beat yourself up some more?"

"I end my turn."

"Glad to hear it," I said as I drew. "I enjoyed watching you hit yourself, but it's only fair I get a chance to humiliate you some."

"So what if you took a few lifepoints from me? You're still up against a pair of incredibly dangerous warriors."

"Not for long. It's time you met a warrior of mine; Mataza the Zapper (1300/800)! My monster has the ability to attack twice per turn."

"What's it matter? My monsters are stronger!"

"Not after I activate Reverse Trap! For this turn, it turns all increases to attack and defense points into decreases, and visa versa. In other words, your monsters are made weaker by their effects!"

"What? You can't just-"

"I just did," I replied with a shrug. "Mataza, chop his Masaki to pieces!"

2500/1500

"And now, I take out your Command Knight!"

2500/800

"I think you've endured enough this turn, so I'll set a card and end my turn."

Aiko clenched his fists. "Ok, that's it! I've been going easy on you up to this point. You pulled off a few good moves, but you're still just a nobody compared to me."

"'Nobody'?" I demanded. "Don't you know I placed third in the Battle City tournament?"

"Yeah, sure you did. If that were true, you'd have to be…" Suddenly, his face flushed. "Loki Admin?"

"You didn't even know who I was before we started?" I asked. "That's very disrespectful of you. Now, make your move!"

"I surrender!" he quickly said. "If I knew it was you, I wouldn't have pushed you. Forgive me."

2500/0

000000000
Loki's Eyes

After Aiko apologized to Shizuka, she stormed out. It took me about thirty minutes to find her. She was on a bench outside her home. "What's wrong?" I asked as I slowly approached.

"I didn't ask you to stand up for me," she answered, with bitterness in her voice.

"I told you, chivalry isn't dead in me. I can't just stand back while some random guy insults you."

"He wasn't some random guy! He was my boyfriend."

That simple statement hurt me more than anything I can possibly think of. "He's your…boyfriend?"

She looked away. "Well, sort of." I sat beside her. "I was never really popular. I was too shy to assert myself, even before my eyes really started to go. I started hanging around with the kendoka groupies, hoping he'd notice me."

"I guess he did," I muttered. "After all, he knew your name."

"Of course, I was never his girlfriend. I was pretty much his servant; I did his homework, tended to his shinai, picked up after him, and…other stuff."

"What a slime ball," I snarled.

"He never touched me or anything." She sighed. "That was the problem. It shot the heck out of my self-esteem that no matter what I did for him, the only thing he did in return is learn my name."

That was when I realized why she was upset with me. "And because of me, he'll take steps to make sure I don't see you with him again. I'm sorry, but you can still do a lot better than him."

"I know. I shouldn't have snapped at you; especially since you did the right thing." She turned to me and blushed. "And…thanks for saying that."

"I said it because it's true. You're so sweet and innocent; you deserve someone who'll do anything for you; who'll love every little thing about you…" I quickly stopped trying to complete my thought and moved on to a different one. "…I should get going. You probably have some homework to do, and I need to work on tomorrow's lesson plan."

"Ok, Loki-Sensei," she answered. We stood up, exchanged a respectful bow, and went our separate ways.

000000000
Loki's Eyes

However, the next day's lesson plan was the last thing on my mind. I spent that night putting my thoughts into a journal I picked up since I became Shizuka's teacher.

"When I first met Shizuka, I developed an innocent crush on her. I tried to ignore the feeling, because I believed her affections must've lay elsewhere. But the more I saw her, the stronger the feelings became. Soon, I felt the need to protect her any way I could, including being prepared to sacrifice myself. By the end of the Battle City tournament, my infatuation was so strong, I took her on as my apprentice the instant I became the Selkirk Rex. But today, I came into a shocking revelation. I discovered I was in love with her.

"I broke the first rule of being a teacher, and fell in love with my student. I try to convince myself that it's not so bad, since there's only a one-year gap between us, but I'm not entirely sure that it validates my feelings. If I start caring for her in that fashion, it'll undoubtedly carry over into my teachings, and I fear that'll only hinder her progress. So for now, I'm going to only express my feelings in the pages of this journal. I hope with all my heart that I can find the solution to the puzzle of my life. If I don't, this journal will be the only proof of my feelings.

"Loki Admin, the Selkirk Rex"

After I wrote down all of my conflicting emotions, I read over everything I wrote in a desperate attempt to see if somewhere in my ramblings was the answer I was searching for. The only thing I found was the pathetic whining of a love-struck fool. Of course, I couldn't simply ask Darius Lynch for help; I no longer held that special link to him, and he had no other means of contact with the outside world.

I closed my journal and looked up at the ceiling of my apartment. "What the hell is wrong with me?" I asked myself. "Looking back on everything I've done, I thought I grew. Instead, I'm acting like that dumb kid who joined the Ghouls two years ago. Is that what this thing called 'love' is supposed to do?"

I walked out to the balcony, looking down on the city. "This must be what Darius was talking about." I think I was thirteen when he explained love to me. He said it was a wonderful, indescribable feeling. He also said my first love would make me stupid, though I'd eventually recover. And if the love ended somehow, it'd be the worst pain ever. He said that I'd recover from that too.

"But what happens if my first love doesn't end, and I don't recover from my stupidity?" I asked, even though he couldn't hear me. "What then?"

And what shocked me the most that day happened the very moment I posed the question. In my mind, I formed another answer, but one that I may never find the answer to.

"If I find the means to recover, do I even want to?"

End Chapter

Forgive the mushiness of the first chapter. There will be some action coming up soon, I promise. R&R.