Summary: Utau is set to leave in the morning. She and Kukai spend their last night together writing of their love and goodbyes. On each other.
A/N: I swear I was working on other stuff when this plot bunny attacked me. I couldn't stop writing, oh my gosh. Anyway, I use a few English lyrics in this, and I know that bugs some people. However, the purpose of the snippet of song is more about the familiarity and such for the readers. Thus, I invoke Creative License. Also, I find Kutau by far the easiest couple to write about, and I experimented with style in this. I hope it's okay, this is the first time I used present tense...
Rating: T for vague, undescribed, non-sexual nudity. The content is probably K+ but I think I should warn for this...
Disclaimer: Here there be disclaimers.
A Farewell in Ink
Kukai wakes to a soft body curled snugly over his underneath a blanket. Moonlight streams in through the window, caressing the shoulder of the woman whose head lies on his chest as she listens to his heart beat in her sleep. He threads his fingers through her locks, glowing almost silver in the light. He listens to her breathe.
This will be the last night that they are together – probably for forever. They had known that this was coming ever since she'd received the acceptance letter from the Tokyo University of the Arts. She will be heading off into a different life while he stays behind to finish his high school education. They aren't stupid. They know that maintaining a relationship under the circumstances is almost impossible.
In the morning, after the sun rises in the sky and Utau leaves, they will sever their ties.
Something twists in his gut but it goes ignored. There would be time enough to mope later. In the cold light of the moon, Utau is still his.
He tears his eyes away from her sleeping form to glance at the clock. The numbers 02:14 mock him and his wish for just one more moment to spend with the girl who'd captured his heart. He glances away when the numbers flicker to 02:15; inexorably counting down to the moment that he would lose her. Something else catches his gaze.
A black marker.
And he thinks about it. He thinks about Utau's skin; soft and smooth and clear, and the fluttery feeling he still gets whenever he manages to make her smile (like a butterfly against his heart), and the fact that this is their last night. This is his last chance to do anything with her, and he suddenly has a thousand things to tell her that he never usually thinks to.
He reaches over and grabs the marker, popping the lid using his teeth because his other arm is occupied with being wrapped around Utau's waist. He pauses for a second and then presses the tip of the marker into the smooth skin of her shoulder. His handwriting is rather messy and angular, but he means every word he writes. The sharp scent of the marker stings his nose but he doesn't mind.
Utau stirs. She breathes deeply and blinks up at him before she notices the slight pressure against her shoulder. The marker is cold and she moves to see what Kukai is doing. The movement makes Kukai smudge the words a little, but he just smiles and watches her twist to read the sentence now imprinted on her skin. It is difficult to read in the dark so she turns the lamp on, impatient.
'I miss you already'.
He's already started his next line, this time on Utau's newly exposed forearm. He writes 'Strength' before moving down to the palm of her hand. He strokes her wrist with his other hand almost unconsciously as he writes 'Kukai's Heart' there. The marker tickles slightly, but she's far too busy trying to control the waves of fondness and a stupid urge to cry to care.
She takes the marker from him as he finishes etching the word 'Beautiful' onto her collarbone. She knows that if she lets him continue, she would not be able to keep her composure. She sits up and surveys his torso: her new canvas. Her hair is down for once, and it makes her look softer, more vulnerable.
She begins with his arm, tracing the word 'Safety' there. Her handwriting is all loops and curves, and she writes of things that she'd never admit to in the light of day. She writes 'Understanding' down his side and 'Energy, Energy, Energy' over a hipbone. She pauses, the marker hovering above the spot his heart should be, before drawing the outline of a shaky cartoon heart. It was lopsided and wobbly, because despite everything her skill at drawing was close to zero.
Kukai chuckles quietly and she gives him a look that borders on a glare. He quiets, but in revenge Utau writes beneath the shaky heart 'Property of Utau Hoshina'. When she looks back up at him, his gaze is serious. Slowly, he takes the hand that he'd written on and places it over the drawing until she can feel the thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump. Her breath hitches and they stay there for what could have been a few seconds or an eternity before Utau moves her hand away and continues on.
Quickly, she scrawls the word 'Delicious' over his abs, sending a small grin his way. Her heart had ached from the intensity of the moment and she wants to bring it back to something gentler. It helps when Kukai waggles his eyebrows when he sees the word and she snorts in laughter. In her moment of weakness, he sits up as well and snatches the marker out of her hands.
He kisses her lightly on the lips before pulling back and bringing the marker up to the place where her heart would be. He writes an 'L' and hesitates for a fraction of a second before writing an 'I' and an 'F' and an 'E'. His arm moves to the valley between her breasts and writes a vertical 'KISS' that points down to her navel, where he writes 'Feisty' and smirks at her before scribbling 'Priceless' from her stomach to her waist.
She takes the marker again, twirling it in her fingers before deciding to write 'Dumb but Attractive' diagonally across his chest. She ignores his quiet protest in favour of marking 'Less Than Three for More Than Three' on one of his outer thighs. He laughs out loud. They had been together on and off for over three years, and now neither of them knows how they will cope without the other in their life. 'Why do you always smell like pine?' she writes on his abs.
The minutes tick by as they take turns pouring their thoughts out onto the skin of their lover. At one point Utau writes 'Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows/Everything so wonderful is what I feel when we're together' on a spare spot o his chest, and Kukai starts humming it, slightly off-key but surprisingly well.
When their fronts are exhausted of all space, they start writing on each other's backs. Kukai writes 'ANGEL' in big letters, complete with wings and a halo. Unlike Utau, Kukai is an alright artist and he sits back proudly to admire his work before shifting down and writing 'devil' on her inner thigh. He proudly marks in devil horns and a tail and then writes messily on her lower back 'You are the U to my Q' and reads it aloud. She is startled into laughter, and he smiles in accomplishment.
He begins another sentence, reading it out loud as he goes. 'When I Run I always imagine I'm Flying'. He barely finishes that line before moving on, wanting to tell her anything and everything. 'I used to wonder what Christmas Trees did in their spare time', 'I picked up a stray cat once and named it Sporty, but my brothers scared it away within a day', 'I doodled your name in my notebook once but I stopped when I realised I was acting like a thirteen year old girl. There were Hearts'. He expects it when Utau gets up and pushes him down to start her own nonsensical confessions.
'My mother used to tell me that stars were trapped Wish Fairies, and that when they broke free they became shooting stars' she writes, reading it in a hushed voice. 'I've always wanted to jump into a pile of Autumn Leaves' and 'I miss Iru and Eru and being able to fly' follow quickly.
Sometime during this, lulled by Utau's soft and melodic voice, Kukai falls asleep. Utau notices his even breathing, checks the time, and marks out a few more lines in silence. She refuses to cry, even as she desperately drinks in the image of Kukai sleeping on his front. He looks peaceful and his skin glows softly in the light of the lamp. The sky is lightening outside the window as Utau presses a final kiss to the back of his neck.
When Kukai wakes again, the sun is streaming through the window and his room is empty. His heart constricts and he hurriedly wipes at his eyes. It doesn't help that he sees the words 'You can make me Laugh, Smile and Cry' on the back of his hand in Utau's penmanship. It gets worse when he catches sight of a 'Be Strong, Always' from his wrist down to his elbow.
He staggers to the bathroom and tries to inspect his entire body. Every word burns, but he commits them all to memory anyway because this is the last thing that he will share with Utau. When he turns around and uses the mirror to check his back, he sees the new little messages that Utau left him after he fell asleep. He stares at them, his vision going blurry for some reason. He blinks it away as he tries to read the reflection.
'I was always so afraid of people leaving me, but now I'm leaving you. Ironic, isn't it?'
'You were always the Better Person'
'You make this little snorting sound in your sleep – it's funny'
'I Love You'
'Goodbye.'
He turns on the shower and steps in. He pretends it doesn't hurt so much, and that it is the spray of water running down his face and stinging his eyes. He can even pretend that he isn't sobbing, since the sound of the shower almost covers it.
The words fade. The ink runs with the water and goes down the drain. Kukai scrubs at the words until there are none left, almost as if it never happened in the first place. In a few hours, Utau will go through the same process, washing the words off her skin until there is nothing left to prove that the night was anything more than a dream.
Nothing, except the words emblazoned on their souls and a fresh ache in their hearts that will only get better with time, even if it may never heal. They had to move on.
The sun has risen, and Utau has left, and they have severed their ties.
Neither of them have ever hated daylight more.