I'm in a Liz/Jack mood this week so here's another quick oneshot I pulled out of nowhere. Nowhere though isn't probably very precise. This story is based on the episode Reunion (Season 3, episode 5) and it would help watching it again for those of you who don't recall it, because there are a couple of references from said episode. Like Larry Braverman (the man Jack is impersonating). What a hilarious name. Anyways, I hope you like it:)
The flight back was inordinately quiet for someone like her. She usually talked her way out of everything involving long periods of time. But this was all looks. She wasn't really good at looks, never had been. She always stared too hard or in the wrong direction.
They sat opposite each other, gazing thoughtfully at their shoes or into each other's laps but never quite reaching their eyes. It was as if they were strangers again.
She had meant to thank him for the wonderful words he'd said earlier that evening but maybe that was as far as Jack Donaghy would go for their problematic friendship.
Problematic because she couldn't exactly define it in terms of friendships she had had in the past.
She had had male friends in college, but none of them had even compared to Jack, because Jack was not someone she would have ever been friends with in any context, not even casual acquaintances.
He was the man (not guy) who ordered exotic food and spoke five languages, who knew how to conduct a diplomatic meeting between North Korea and Pakistan, who could sell water to fish successfully, who never wore jeans, who never sported colourful ties, who walked into a room and rendered people silent, who could drink scotch without coughing up, who dated models with PhDs, who was as intimidating as hell when he wanted to be.
When had this man turned into her comfortable, easy-going, dependable best friend?
She had never expected this turn in her life. Now after three years it was slowly sinking in and becoming more and more real. Jack had stood up for her tonight even though she had deserved all those despicable insults. It was all so confusing and pleasant at the same time.
What more could she ask for?
The poor man had had a tough year. Geiss was not stepping down as CEO and he hadn't even managed to get to Miami in time to blow off some steam. It wasn't looking up for him. Last thing he needed was her apologetic 'thank you's.
'There's bad weather ahead, Mr. Donaghy, I'm afraid we're going to have to find a different landing spot,' the captain's voice suddenly burst in the cabin.
'Alright, Andrew, do as you think best. Just get us home already,' Jack spoke into his plane phone.
She almost flinched in surprise. He sounded so fed-up and tired. It was only natural. Was he frustrated because he had wasted another night with her? She couldn't really blame him.
She had acted miserably and even though she had apologized to everyone, she still felt she needed to make it up to him.
She felt there was something else bothering him besides his usual problems. She couldn't place it, but she guessed it had something to do with her.
'Bad weather, eh?' she asked, breaking the silence.
'That's what the chief pilot said,' Jack answered soberly, flipping through a newspaper.
'Must be neat flying through a rain cloud,' she mumbled.
'I don't think he's flying through a rain cloud, Lemon.'
'But it's raining outside,' she protested, pointing at the windows.
Jack put his paper down and hunched over to see what she was pointing at. His mouth parted slightly.
It was raining. He hadn't noticed. It looked very strange, like a wall of water trickling down their back. The look from above was too deliberate. It broke the intimacy and surprise of rain.
'Well, what do you know? It is raining,' he concluded dryly.
'These windows are so large, you feel like at the end of The Empire Strikes Back, when Luke and Leia are staring into the galaxy knowing there will be sad times ahead.'
'And in this context, I would be Skywalker?' he asked, staring out the window.
'I know, not exactly a match, but Han Solo is already frozen by this point,' she said, shrugging her shoulders.
'Of course,' he commented rolling his eyes.
The plane suddenly hurdled and sent Liz collapsing into Jack's chest for a brief moment.
He steadied her shoulders with his hands.
Liz pressed her hands into his chest.
'Man, wouldn't that have been awkward,' she said, laughing uneasily.
He smiled condescendingly, but once again, refused to look her in the eye.
Instead of pulling his head towards her, she craned her neck until she met his gaze.
'I'm sorry.'
'Don't worry, Lemon, you didn't assault me,' he spoke lightly.
'I'm sorry I make it hard for you to be my friend,' she said.
This time he actually looked up.
'You deserve better than a depressing high-school reunion filled with jaded people. You deserve better than sticking up for a bully and you deserve better than Larry Braverman, because you are better than him.'
Jack's eyes grew larger. He had not expected that.
'You deserve a classy friend, who doesn't always get into unnecessarily awkward and damaging social situations, who can eat lobsters properly and wipe their mouths discreetly. You deserve someone to be your wingman, your real wingman, the kind who's got all the right advice and all the right connections, who's always got your back even when you're spineless. You deserve someone like that. I'm sorry I'm not exactly...well, I'm nothing like that, actually. But I'd like to be. For you. Even if I'm not.'
Jack tilted his head to the side pensively. His face was unreadable. He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't frowning either. He seemed neutral about it. But he was considering it.
She settled back into her chair and waited for him to say something. But he remained stubbornly quiet, watching her intently without uttering a single word.
It was always mortifying how all her grand speeches seemed to fall flat.
After a while, she grabbed a magazine from the pocket of her seat, flipping through it quickly to diffuse the incredibly awkward moment between them.
Eventually, he settled into his own seat and turned on his laptop.
When they finally landed, Jack's limousine was waiting for them. They climbed in silently.
There was always traffic in New York. Their ride was prolonged more than either would have probably wanted.
Liz looked pretty depressed by now. She didn't like it when Jack was troubled like that. They usually shared everything. She didn't like it when he hid from her. And she was beginning to regret her little speech. She knew she had spoken from the heart, but what if Jack realized what a terrible investment he had made in their friendship?
Halfway through the drive, Jack pressed the button to pull the screen between them and the driver. He had noticed her mood.
'You know what it's like, Lemon, to have the perfect life and wish for something...imperfect?' he began.
'Oh yeah...every time I watch Desperate Housewives.'
'I have the freedom to go everywhere and do everything with everyone in any possible position known to man. I could just as well bathe in a pool of champagne and eat truffles off a Venezuelan girl's left breast.'
'Mmm, I don't know about that, sounds like a recipe for indigestion,' Liz said thoughtfully.
Jack smiled.
'I could do that and so much more and start all over in the morning, regretting nothing.'
'I know, that's what makes me think you've got some Kryptonite in you,' Liz joked.
'And yet,' he said, faltering slightly, 'sometimes, most of the times, Larry Braverman is all I really want to be. Just another random guy with his own boat, his own pair of khaki pants and an outrageous sexual history of seventeen year olds and their moms.'
'That last part is actually...' Liz started.
'And it's all because of you, Lemon. You make me want to go to high-school reunions. And get completely wasted with you in my office afterwards. And ride around town while you tell me in detail how you turned all your high school boyfriends gay for each other or how you walked in on your grandparents making love and you didn't leave right away (1), then stop for doughnuts on the way back and eat them in the filming studio while you do that terrible impression of Melanie Griffith.'
Liz's bottom lip began to quiver slightly. She knew she would start crying like a five year old soon. She always got emotional after high-school reunions.
'You really...mean that?' she asked. 'All of it? Even Melanie?'
'Unfortunately, yes. You had your speech, I had to have mine. What I'm trying to say is that...I'm really glad you're not my classy friend who eats lobsters properly and has all the right connections. I'm glad you're not my wingman. It's your greatest asset.'
'Still, it wouldn't hurt if I were...'
'It would. Trust me, it would.'
She fell silent for a moment. Then she remembered.
'But then, during the flight...was it just Geiss, or was it something else?'
Jack made a face, as if it was quite obvious.
'Like I said, Lemon, it can be very frustrating to crave for something...imperfect. Whatever I do tomorrow, or the next day, it's not going to be the same. It's not going to be enough.'
The car started moving slowly out of traffic. The rain had stopped, but the roads were still very wet and the colourful lights fell over the clear puddles like night rainbows.
Liz thought she finally understood what he meant. She felt a pang in her heart. Jack was rarely really happy or content. His mind was always in some other place, a place more miserable, more demanding, more frustrating, more perfect. When he was alone in his world, there was always something keeping him back, some stone in his shoe that prevented him from having real satisfaction. When he was around her, there was always the reminder he was not really living life at its full potential, that he was missing out on something, that he was supposed to do more. He could never be truly happy in either situations. He needed both.
'I know. I know it's not going to be enough. But you don't have to settle for that. You can be Larry and Jack with me. I like both of you equally.'
Jack had rarely been shaken by words like that. It had come like a shock, but a shock he had been expecting from her, if that made any sense. He didn't know what to think, what to say, he couldn't wrap his mind around a concept which seemed impossible, so she wrapped her hand around his and squeezed it lightly.
'I know it's kind of late, but I was going to order some pizza and Chinese...and some Indian and watch some Top Chef, or maybe some Sopranos reruns. Care to join me?'
'In that shabby excuse for an apartment you live in?' he asked.
'I like to call it homey.'
'Last time I was there, your couch left some jam smears on my 2000$ suit pants.'
'Don't worry, I ate all the jam a long time ago. There's no danger of that anymore.'
He smiled.
'I am in the mood for cheap takeout,' he said pensively.
'Say no more,' she silenced him, squeezing his hand one last time before letting go.
Jack waited for the car to stop in front of her apartment building. She hopped off without waiting for him and waved at him to come inside.
He stared at her jumping figure standing on the top stairs.
'Come on, Larry, the Indian place is closing in half an hour,' she called out.
He sighed. She had missed the essential thing tonight.
Jack and Larry would never be happy without her.
(1) - this is an actual line from the episode, it happens during their flight to the reunion; it's a confession Liz makes afraid they might crash.