Rhino Discovers Fanfiction

Rhino the hamster was bored. He wouldn't admit it if you asked him, but it was true. Being a hamster, the amount of things he could do around the house he shared with Bolt, Mittens, Penny and her mom were rather small, and he had exhausted all of them. He'd rolled down the stairs in his ball enough times to make himself dizzy, explored every corner of the house (well, the ones he could get to) several times over, and had once again failed to find a secret, evil laboratory anywhere in the house. Even the Magic Box seemed to have failed him. Within its screen resided nothing but old people talking about their lives, people screaming about subjects Rhino didn't even try to understand, and that annoying, bearded man who rambled on about "Happy Trees". Not a single car chase, shootout, or building exploding to be seen. Not even the new, now-lame season of Bolt was running.

Rhino sighed, and continued to chew on the piece of bark he had in his cheeks. He attempted to lean back in the way the tough guy's on the Box did, but only succeeded in making himself flip over as his weight caused his ball to roll. Rhino found himself upside down, looking at the stairway that led up to the second floor of the house, the same one he'd rolled down several times earlier that morning. They seemed to vibrate, and for a moment Rhino wondered if his fall had been more severe than he'd thought. But it simply turned out to be the vibrations from the Nike-clad feet of Penny coming down the stairs shaking his hamster ball. Seconds later, the girl appeared, Bolt right at her heels. The girl jumped the last five steps to the floor, making Rhino's world shake even more. Bolt followed, leaping after his person with liquid grace, the same move he'd done over and over during his time on the Magic Box, and Rhino found himself wondering how it was possible that a dog like Bolt was normal. He just seemed too unreal. Truth be told, he still wasn't convinced. No matter what Mittens said.

Bolt landed next to Penny, shaking the floor again. The two dashed out the door, and Rhino sighed again. So much for anything exciting. Rhino went back to chewing on his bark. As he did so, a new sound reached his ears. A humming, like a bee. Rhino recognized it instantly. That same sound had surrounded Penny and Bolt that time they'd infiltrated Calico's mountain missile silo! Well, it had been a lot louder then, but still…

Boredom forgotten, Rhino set out to investigate. The noise emanated from one of the rooms upstairs. The hamster rolled his ball up to the step, and attempted to get up it several times before he realized that it wasn't going to work. Quickly looking around to check that the coast was clear, Rhino unscrewed the small opening in the plastic and stepped out onto the rug.

"Unseal the hushed casket…" He whispered to himself. He didn't really know what it meant, but it had been on that weird Box show that Penny had been watching a couple days ago with that boy she seemed to be hanging out with a lot recently. That had been a cool show. So, by affiliation, it was cool to. That, and it had the word "unseal" in it, and he was doing just that to his ball. Pausing for a moment to laugh excitedly, Rhino began his trek up the stairs. Though the distance seemed slightly daunting, the climb was actually relatively easy. The stairs were carpeted, perfect material for Rhino to claw up. Still laughing quietly, the hamster continued onward and upward.

Fifteen minutes (and three breaks later) Rhino managed to haul himself onto the final step. Flopping down for a moment, the hamster took the time to survey his surroundings. The sound he had heard earlier was still there, and was coming from the room to his right. He guessed it was Penny's room, a hypothesis supported by the large painted sign nailed to it reading Penny's Room, Authorized Personnel and Dogs Only, with the words No Fans added below in magic marker. The door itself was slightly open, so Rhino ignored the latter part of the sign and quickly scurried through the crack. The room's furnishings were the ones that could be expected of a relatively normal teenager; a small bed against the wall, a music system, a TV hooked up to several unidentifiable devices, a music system, a bookshelf with a mixture of books, movies and personal memorabilia (acting awards, medals, Penny's middle school graduation certificate, and other bits and pieces that only held meaning for Penny), and, in the middle of the far wall, was the source of the strange noise.

Rhino gazed at it, transfixed. It took him a moment to realize it was a computer of some form. It didn't look anything like the ones on the Magic Box, but it was obviously a computer. Intrigued, Rhino edged closer. In his experience, computers were usually important. In the space under the desk the computer was on sat a chair, and Rhino used this to scamper up to the computer. He took a moment to catch his breath, and then looked over the machine before him. It wasn't very was only one keyboard, which seemed to have solid keys instead of the cool holographic ones he'd seen, the screen was surprisingly small, and their was a strange plastic thing sitting on a pad to the right of the keyboard. Curious, Rhino walked over to investigate. He examined the strange object closely. As he did, he bumped into it, and the screen (which up until this point had been dark) suddenly blared to light. Rhino jumped back, taking a fighting stance and letting out a kung-fu "Huwahhhh…"

Nothing happened for a couple seconds. Rhino blinked, and relaxed. He realized the computer had simply turned on. Another realization followed this one. The plastic thing to the right must be that "mouse" thing that Penny had been looking for a while ago. The hamster remembered the frantic search the girl had initiated, helped by Mittens, who had been disappointed when the thing they were searching for turned out to be an electronic device, not a rodent. Though how the de-clawed cat would have caught an actual mouse was beyond Rhino.

Satisfied that he understood the basic principles of the computer, Rhino turned his attention to the screen itself. The page was mostly white, the only color coming from a large add for something Rhino didn't understand that sat at the top of the page, and the small blue words that were just below it. Lower down was a long list of dates, each with a small blurb of information next to it. Rhino finished looking over the screen, finally turning his attention to the title in the upper-left corner.

"Ffff…Ahhn…ffiic..tchin." He sounded out. He blinked. Fanfiction? What the heck was fanfiction? The hamster shrugged, and read on.

After absorbing all the information on the page (and finding that pulling on the strange wheel-like thing on the mouse moved the screen down to let him see more,) Rhino finally understood what he had stumbled upon. And with this understanding came excitement. Apparently, a "fanfiction" was a story written by a fan of a series (as the name suggested), that took place in that series, using the characters and places within. An idea entered his mind. Grasping the mouse, Rhino quickly navigated to the TV Shows section, and, after a minute of searching, found what he was looking for;

The Bolt section of the site.

Rubbing his paws together in excitement, Rhino quickly browsed the available stories. He quickly found that he wasn't impressed. Most of the authors were obviously not true fans (unlike himself), and their stories lacked good plot, correct characterization, and in many cases grammar and spelling. Rhino shook his head, and sat down on the mouse pad to think.

"I could write something better," He decided finally. He laughed in a hamsterish way, then stopped as another thought entered his mind.

He could write something better… and this computer had something that could be used to write things with. Rhino had seen Penny use it for school assignments. Working quickly, the hamster opened the program and brought up a new document. He clasped his paws and bounced up and down in anticipation.

"Let it begin, let it begin, let it begin!" He chanted, voice going higher with ever utterance. Then, with a burst of mad laughter, he started typing.


Almost and hour later, Penny stumbled through the door of her house, pleasantly tired from her time outside. At her heels came Bolt, tail dragging dirt onto the carpet in exhaustion, and her newly made friend and neighbor Randal. She was in conversation with the latter as she collapsed onto the couch, not even bothering to kick her shoes off.

"So, wait, Randal, let me get this straight; you've never watched a single episode of my show?" Penny felt shocked by the boy's recent revelation. Not that she had believed that everyone watched it, but from what her agent had said, she really hadn't pictured it.

"Not a one, Tinsel Girl," Randal replied, falling onto the couch beside her.

Penny laughed at the name Randal had given her, good and hard. She couldn't help it. Ever since she'd gotten out of the hospital, it was like she was seeing the world fully for the first time. Even the smallest things were funny now, and things she would have never even thought about during her time on TV had immeasurable meaning.

Randal sighed and put his tanned and calloused hands behind his head, sun setting his half-inch long blond hair on fire and making his blue eyes sparkle behind half-closed lids. Penny felt warmth spread through her chest and arms. She liked Randal's eyes.

"Wow." She said, groaning as she stretched her legs out. She, Randal and Bolt had spent the last hour tossing a stick around and using the rope swing that hung over the stream that ran behind their houses. All three were sore from their separate thrills and spills. "I'm kinda glad for that. Every time I try to make friends with someone who has, they're all like, 'OMG! You're Penny! Can I get your autograph?' And then they ask me all these questions about the series. And not just normal stuff. Jeez. I'm so sick of it." Penny waved her hands sarcastically in the air as she imitated her fans.

"Well, you'll be glad to know I have no questions about your series at all." Randal cracked his knuckles behind his head with a grunt. "You and your family, yes. Series and time in Hollywood? No. And please, no one calls me Randal. Name's Rex."

"Good." Penny reclined even further into the couch, enjoying the sun-warmed leather. "Because if I'm asked wither or not Bolt and I "mated" again, I might just kill someone."

"For real?" Rex recoiled at the thought Penny had just put in his head. "That was a question?"

"Yeah. Some people seriously asked me that. The ones that look like they've spent to much time in their basement, mainly. So I guess that's to be expected. Rule 34, right?"

"Still, that's nasty on so many levels. Bestiality sucks. And if you want to kill someone for asking that, you'll have to get in line. I'll kill them before you do."

"I'm not going to argue..." Penny fell silent, not entirely comfortable with where the conversation was going. She decided to change the subject. "So...Rex? That's your nickname? You mean like a dog?" She reached down between her legs and scratched Bolt's head as she asked.

"No, like the clone." Rex shrugged and looked up at the ceiling.

"Clone?"

"Yeah, you know, from the new Star Wars series."

"Actually, I don't." Penny looked down at her feet, embarrassed. She curled her toes in till they touched. "I haven't really watched much TV since I started filming the series."

"What?" Rex practically exploded from the couch, shock in in face. Bolt followed him, instantly putting himself between the boy and his person. Penny calmed him with a scratch on his neck.

"I couldn't. They said we might accidentally see something that would cause Bolt to loose his sense that everything was real. I didn't really have much time for it either. We filmed in real time, remember?"

"Man, that's just wrong." Rex crossed his arms and sat down again, only to burst straight up again seconds later. "We gotta get you caught up! Come on, I can show you the first season on YouTube!" He vaulted the couch and dashed for the stairs. Penny, after laughing again, followed him, Bolt once again on her six. On the way to the stairs, her sneaker-clad right foot touched something. Looking down, she recognized her recently-acquired hamster's plastic ball. After pondering how it got there, she sprinted up the stairs after her new friend.

When she reached the top of the stairs, she could see Rex was already in her room. The door was still swinging from his entrance. She stopped it on her way in. Inside, Rex was sitting at her computer. But he wasn't opening the browser software. Penny looked over his shoulder at the screen. It was a Word document, several pages long. Rex was scanning it.

"What's with the paper?" She asked. "I though you were going to show me some Star Wars."

"This isn't mine." Rex seemed lost in thought. He scrolled the wheel on the mouse down, flipping to the next page. "I woke your computer up to do that and I found this up."

"What is it?"

"Looks like a story. Hold on..." Rex scrolled down more. "Hey, your in here! And Bolt too! Looks like a battle between you and someone named Dr. Calico..."

"Calico was the main villain in the show." Penny said quietly. "This looks like a fanfiction!"

"Huh?" Rex turned around in the chair, revealing a confused facial expression.

"Remember that site I was telling you about? The one where fans of a series post stories based in that universe? The one you would enjoy?"

"Yeah, I do. And then I remember you flying off the rope swing into the stream bank." Rex smiled. Penny glowered, then continued.

"Well, this is the kind of stuff that would be on there." She skimmed through some of the story. "And actually, this looks a lot better than some of the stuff I've seen on the site..."

"So we have a phantom fanfiction writer in the house." Rex pondered. "Whatever. Just get rid of it. I've got Star Wars to show you."

"Sure." Penny patted Rex on the shoulder, and he moved out of the way. Seconds later, the word document disappeared, minimized. Penny moved back, and Rex rolled back into place. He quickly brought up YouTube, then turned to Penny, who was still standing.

"Get a chair." He told her. "This is going to take a while."

Penny did so. And it did.


Later, after Rex had gone home for dinner, Penny sat at her computer, spinning in the chair. Now that her friend was gone, she was alone in the house. Her mom was out looking for a job, and Bolt was asleep under her bed. She was bored. As she spun by the screen, something caught her eye. The fanfiction, still minimized. She brought it back up to full size and scanned it. What she had said with Rex had been right; it was better than most of the other stuff on the site. And she'd just gotten her own account, but hadn't put anything on...

Quickly, Penny brought up her browser and went to . She logged on, and, after saving the story to her hard drive, she posted it on the site. Since it appeared to end with a cliffhanger, she left it In Progress. When she finished, she leaned back in her chair, stretched, yawned, checked the clock, realized it was late, and went to bed. Before she fell asleep a single thought filtered through her drowsy mind;

Where did this story come from?

Then darkness took her, and she dreamed of clone troopers and faceless black armored guards and she and Rex fighting together against Calico.


The next morning, the house stood empty of humans once again. Penny's room was as silent as the rest. For the moment. Suddenly, the door squeaked open, admitting Rhino, who was squeaking as much as the door was. He scurried to the computer, and quickly brought up his story. He hopped up and down again.

"Let it continue, let it continue, let it continue!" He chanted. Then, without further ado, he continued his masterpiece.

The End...For Now.