Evenings in a drunk tank
I never was a big fan of school. Especially french class, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love learning, but only useful things. Like say, how to cure belladonna poisoning. Or, how to make sure something is edible. Or even how to build a proper shelter for survival purposes. Anyway, I can't really tell you why we thought of this or how we got here but… Koala and I somehow ended up in jail. Again. I'm pretty sure that it is not my fault this time, though I'd have to take a look at the official report to read the charges we were being pressed with.
-Maybe we'll see em before we go to court and stuff.
Shit did say that out loud?
Yeah you did. And that too.
Shoot.
Oh, I haven't introduced you, the red head with snake bites and the green eyes in the corner, well that's my compadre Koala. And I, your dutiful narrator, would be the handsome blonde man on the other side of the cell. No, not the hell's angel biker, the one in the top hat and navy blue trench coat.
-Sabo…
-'sup?
-There's an officer. As I turn to the door, I spot said officer, gray haired and smoking a cigar, he looks almost familiar…
-Oh not you again brat. He spits, now I remember.
-Smokey?!
- I should've known you were behind the 'LiaP' miss hap.
-liaP?
- . .
-Wait what? We stuck a lama in a poncho? What the ever flying fuck. I share a look with Koala and she shrugs. Wow, yesterday night must've been one heck of a time! Too bad i remember none of it..
-So, since you've done this before, I won't bother explaining the procedures. Smoker hands Koala a few sheets of paper. After doing that, he leaves.
-Hey Smokey! Did i get my phone call yet? I call out to the police officer.
-Yes you did, you should recieve a pizza in twenty or so minutes.
-Kay, thanks.
Thanks drunk me, i was just getting hungry.
I thought, turning toward Koala all the while.
-So, what have our hamered selves gotten up to this time? I asked. Koala sighed handing me the hefty stack of charges.
-see for your self.
- Breaking and entering,
-property damage,
-stolen goods,
-stolen livestock,
- public inebriation,
-assaulting an officer,
- dining and dashing
- disturbing the peace
- starting and ending a bar fight
- petty theft
- carrying illegal drugs
- carrying a hidden weapon
- drunk driving
- loitering private property
- climbing the side of a building
- pulling a fire alarm for no reason
- slandering a public figure
- defecating on a public monument
- public indecency (refer to previous charge)
- driving livestock down the street
- Jay walking
- stolen mannequin
- changing said mannequin in the middle of the road
- ect.
I wistle slowy. Well damn, that's a lot of charges…
-How much of that do you remember? Koala asks.
-Uh… nothing after the poncho honestly.
- that's better than me. I have nothing after the street light.