Author´s note: First, my native language is not English, but I'm trying to make it look as good as possible, haha. Please review, so I can see if you like it because then I'll write more. Also, if you have any ideas or plot lines you'd like to see, PM me! I'll look if I can make it fit into my story! :) Thanks.
''Let's just do the mature thing here, okay? This is not an official break-up. Let's just be honest, long-distance relationships are just impossible to maintain because both people aren't really getting what they need, especially at our age...''
I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes started filling with tears. I tried to swallow the lump away but my throat was completely dry.
''This sounds a lot like a break-up to me'', I said with a trembling voice.
''You know this isn't working.'' She leaned forward and took my hand. She gave me a little squeeze. ''You know I will always love you the most'' she said while looking intensely in my eyes.
I felt the tears dripping down my face and I tried to wipe them away with my hand but they just kept coming.
She leaned forward and pressed her lips on mine. This kiss was different than all the other times we kissed. It wasn't just a good-bye kiss, it was a doubting kiss, like she was questioning her decision. She pulled away and pulled me towards her for a hug, avoiding eye contact. I pulled her a little closer, knowing this might be the last time to hold her like this. I wanted to stay this way forever, hold her like this forever. I smelled her familiar scent that smell like home. My home. It was a mixture of summer with coconut. I don't know what summer smells like but I'd picture it would smell like this.''I love you too'', I mumbled in her hair, feeling more tears coming up.
And that was the last time I saw Santana, something more than a year ago. She moved in with Rachel and Kurt in New York and I stayed at Lima to finish Senior Year. I didn't really understand why she moved in with them since they weren't really close. I mean, sure, the bond between Rachel and Santana got better in Senior Year but they weren't like best friends. Rachel always kept mad at Santana for the whole losing-the-big-V-in-a-motel-with-Finn-occurrence and Santana was always pissed at Rachel for stealing al the solo's in Glee Club, holding back her insane talent and chance to spice up this lousy joint, like Santana always hissed at mister Schue. Santana wasn't really friends with Kurt either, she always told me how she thought he was over-the-top gay and annoying because he always starts useless discussions about Broadway musicals and hair products. Putting Rachel and Kurt together was like a big gay explosion, as Santana called it, and I quietly agreed with that, although I would never say it out loud because I kind of liked Rachel and Kurt.
The second thing I didn't understand was the break-up all of the sudden.
In the beginning, when the new school year started after she graduated and I didn't we were fine. I saw her a few times a week and we still had interesting lady sex, but after a few weeks Santana started to change. She appeared absent, like her mind was in a complete different place. Her temper started getting grimly again and it looked like she tried to avoid conversations with me about what we would do when I graduated. During our sleepovers we used to talk until midnight or later about our future plans together. We used to talk about living in a cute little house at the coast and just cuddle at the beach all day. I would start a dance school and she would become a lawyer or a famous singer with her killer voice. We would have a few cute children and be perfectly happy together. That whole plan was scattered when she all of the sudden moved to New York and left me alone in Lima, I mean friggin' Lima.
I knew something wasn't right, Santana would never treat me like this if there wasn't something going on. I was her girlfriend, but also her best friend. I had known her for years and I knew when something was up. When she was around me she was this whole different Santana. She was sweet and protective. When I wasn't around she would be commanding or insulting people. She would never leave me, she would wait for me to graduate and then we would move to L.A. or something like that to live together.
But she did left me, and it felt like a hole was punched in my chest. A hole I knew only Santana could fill. Only there was nothing I could do about it. At least not for a year, because I had to graduate first. In the meantime I had to settle with a few awkward conversations on the phone in which we always had the same usual conversation. We asked each other how we were doing and the conversation always ended up with me saying I had some undone homework or Santana snapping at Rachel who –in the background- tried to steal her nailpolish or straightener.
After those conversations I usually lay on my bed while eating lots of Cheeto's and watching 'Say yes to the dress' or telling stories about how awesome Santana was to Lord Tubbington, who seemed to be the only person to understand what I was going through. After that I most of the time found myself curling up in a ball, trying to picture Santana next to me in bed. I would fall into a deep sleep, convincing myself that Santana would come back to Lima to be with me and to explain why she all of the sudden left. But she didn't come back. She didn't come back for more than a year, and I didn't know if she was ever going to, and that scared the hell out of me. Santana was the first person I loved, and I was sure there was never going to be anybody I would love so much as I did love Santana.