Say That You Love Me Because It's Your Turn
A Lucas & Riley Story
By Brown Eyes Parker
Rated: T
Disclaimer: I own literally nothing.
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"I love thee," Lucas said, looking directly at Riley as he read, "as I love the swell, and hush, of some low strain, which bringeth by its gentle spell the past to life again. Such is the feeling which from thee Nought earthly can allure: 'tis ever link'd to all I see of gifted-high-and pure!"
It was like a spell had been cast over the classroom as he read. His words were clearly a not so subtle message for Riley. He was staking his claim on her through words. He just hoped she would get the hint.
But she was playing with a strand of her hair and avoiding eye contact. From where he was standing, he could see the way her chest was raising rapidly like she was breathing too heavily.
"That was very good Lucas," their English teacher, Miss Bliss, said. "Could you share what compelled you to choose it with the class?"
Lucas opened and closed his mouth. He couldn't very well say he had scoured poetry websites thinking solely of Riley and how he could tell her that he loved her without telling her even though it was in front of the class.
It had been Josh's idea. He'd been sending Maya anonymous poems for months.
He swallowed. He wasn't about to out Riley's uncle to a room full of juniors.
"Lucas?" Miss Bliss prompted.
"It made me think of the person I love," Lucas answered. "That's the only reason I chose it. It made me think about the person I love."
"Well, that's as good a reason as any," Miss Bliss said. "Okay, Farkle, why don't you read us the poem you chose?"
Lucas felt Riley's eyes on him as he took his seat, he knew she would say something to him later because she wasn't stupid and she would be able to tell exactly who he was talking to.
He didn't care.
He wanted her to know.
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"I love you!" Lucas giggled.
"How much laughing gas did the dentist give you when he pulled your wisdom teeth?" Riley asked as she tried to give him a spoonful of ice cream.
"I'm serious. I love you!" Lucas answered, pushing her hand away. "I don't want strawberry ice cream, I want chocolate."
"Well, they were all out of chocolate. I'll bring some tomorrow, okay?"
"Are you coming back tomorrow because you love me?" Lucas asked, winking at her with both his eyes.
"You seriously need to get some rest, Cowboy," Riley said as she shoved the spoon into his mouth, careful not to hurt his incisions.
"I'm fine!" Lucas insisted. "I could play basketball or football. I could out swing David Ortiz!"
"I highly doubt that," Riley answered, frowning. "And since when are you a Red Sox fan?"
"I'm not. But that still doesn't mean I can't out swing Big Papi. You name the time and place and I'll prove it to you."
"How about 1990-never," Riley said. "It's for your own good, really. There's no way you could out swing David Ortiz or any other baseball player for that matter. Not right now anyways. Didn't the oral surgeon tell you not to make any big decisions under the influence of anesthesia?"
"Like driving to Boston and challenging Ortiz to a swing off would be a big decision!" Lucas scoffed.
"Lucas, you'd probably get arrested!" Riley told him.
Lucas grinned at her. "Okay."
"It's settled then. We're not going to Boston," Riley said, as she put his half-melted bowl of ice cream down and tucked him in.
Suddenly, he remembered there was something else they had been talking about. "I still love you," he told her grabbing onto her hand and gripping it tightly.
Riley lowered her gaze. "Lucas. . . please. . . please don't."
"Well, I do!" Lucas insisted.
Riley took her hand back from him. "Maybe you do but you'll be embarrassed about this tomorrow. Don't worry. We'll still be friends though."
He didn't hear her though. He had fallen asleep, worn out from his morning adventures. Riley sighed and disappeared from the Friar's apartment before he woke up and continued to say things to her that scared her.
They'd been here before and all she had gotten was hurt. She wouldn't let it happen again.
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Dear Riley,
It's November but the weather tells a different story. It's still warm out, high 80s. I forgot that the seasons in Texas don't always keep up with the calendar. I confess I am missing the colder New York temperatures right now.
School is going well, it's hard but the professors are fair and I am doing well in all my courses. But I miss your father and going to classes with you, Zay, Farkle and Maya.
I think about our last night together often. How could you not believe me when I was standing there in front of you with my heart in my hands? I know I hurt you before but it wasn't on purpose. I was so young, if I could do it all over again, I would. I really would.
My heart belongs to you and only you. Everywhere I turn, even here, I see your face. Everyone says this separation will be good for us, that absent will make the heart grow fonder.
With all this distance between us are you growing fonder of me, my darling? Or are e you meeting other boys and stealing their hearts if even by accident?
Christmas is coming soon. I am counting down the days until I can see you again, I wish it were sooner. Maybe on Thanksgiving but I know you have plans to go to Philadelphia with your family and it's just sort of stupid to go to New York for less than a few days.
I love you. Please believe me.
Yours always,
Lucas
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"I love you, I love you, I love you. . ." Lucas murmured as he kissed Riley, tipsy on wine coolers and the New Year, An Affair To Remember was playing on TCM and Josh was sleeping on the floor, Maya resting on his chest.
"You're drunk," Riley answered, closing her eyes and lifting her hair away from her neck so he would have better access to it.
"Hardly," Lucas said. "And even if I were. . . a drunken man's words are only a sober man's thoughts. Why don't you believe me? I've been saying it for years now. What's a better time to say it then the New Year? Everything is fresh and new and it's the beginning of something, 365 days where nothing has happened yet except whatever we want to happen."
Riley pulled away and shook her head. "I-I can't!"
"I never wanted you to get hurt," Lucas told her, following her into the kitchen and lowering his voice. "I never cared about Maya. Not in the way I cared about you. I put up with her for your sake. I am sorry that I didn't spend every single day telling you. . . but I was afraid of hurting Maya. I never took it into consideration that I could be hurting you at the same time."
"I forgive you. . . I forgave you a very long time ago Lucas, but I still can't. . . can't do this. Not yet!"
Lucas sighed. "Tell me how Maya could go so easily into a relationship with somebody who rejected her every time she opened her mouth but you can't forgive me for a little thing like not being clear with you from the beginning."
"Josh never rejected Maya," Riley answered, wrapping her arms around her bare hands. "All he ever said was he was too old for her. They were both victims of bad timing."
"I see. . ." Lucas trailed off. "Maybe I should go home. My parents are probably wondering where I am."
"I really wish you'd stay," Riley said. "It's almost 5am. The partiers won't be going home for another hour at least. It'll be safer if you just wait it out."
"Well, at least I know you still care about me," Lucas said dryly. "I'll be okay, Riley. Thank you for inviting me to your lovely party, I hope you have the happiest of New Year's. I'll see you around."
Riley sighed in frustration but mostly with herself. All she wanted was to stop Lucas and say the words that had been on the tip of her tongue for ages, but she choked on them again and had to watch him as he walked way.
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Riley's heart was pounding in her chest as she stood in front of Lucas's dorm room. It had been months since she had seen him. He hadn't even been by to see her one last time before he had left to go back to school.
The ball was in her court now. It was her turn to make a move, she wasn't sure how she was going to do it but she was going to do it. She knocked on the door and waited with anxiously bated breath.
The door opened and a leggy blonde who strongly resembled a Victoria's Secret model opened the door wearing nothing but a Maverick's t-shirt. Her mouth dropped open in surprise. "Oh my gosh!"
"Oh my gosh!" Riley repeated. "I'm so. . . so sorry! I didn't know Lucas had company! I would have never! Oh my gosh!"
The blonde laughed. "I'm not with Lucas! I'm with Brian. Lucas's roommate! You're Riley, he's told us a lot about you. I'd know you anywhere. I've seen your picture! Come in, come in! Lucas should be back soon, he had the late shift at the emergency vet clinic."
"You know my name, but I am at a slight disadvantage. I do not know your name," Riley said.
"I'm Rosie Dawes," she answered, her voice as sweet as honey. "Darlin', I'm just goin' to put some pants on and run to have my breakfast. You just sit tight. Lucas'll be here any minute. He'll be so happy to see you! He's been pinin' like a puppy dog since he got home from Christmas break. I don't blame you though for whatever happened."
"Thank you Rosie. . ." Riley said, relieved that Lucas hadn't moved on from her and that this beautiful blonde girl was a friend.
Rosie smiled and reached out to give her hand a squeeze. "Of course darlin'. I hope everything goes well with Lucas."
She pulled on a pair of skinny jeans, put on a pair of pink Jack Rogers and slung her messenger back over her shoulder. She winked at Riley and then disappeared.
What seemed like an eternity later, the door opened and a sleepy Lucas came in. He threw his bag and white lab coat on his chair and was just about to undress when Riley cleared her throat.
He turned around in shock. "Riley! What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you," Riley answered. "I realized I have something to tell you. Don't say anything or I might lose my nerve."
Lucas nodded. "Okay."
Riley took a deep breath. "I love you."
Lucas smirked. "I know."
"I love you," Riley repeated, ignoring how cocky he was being as she got up and went over to him. "I have ever since we first met."
Lucas smiled at her, his smugness fell away. "Thank God. I was afraid I would have to spend the rest of my life without you."
"No." Riley shook her head. "No. I love you too. And I am sorry for not saying it in return when you said it first."
"It's okay Riley, really it is."
Riley sighed and put her arms around him, burying her head in his shoulder which was almost impossible because they were the same height. Lucas put his arms around her and hugged her as tightly as he could.
And that's the way they stayed for a long time.
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Riley didn't want to leave Lucas after she had finally said I love you out loud. It had been a good weekend. It was the best weekend they had ever spent together, actually. But she had a class in the morning and she couldn't stay in their perfect little bubble anymore.
But summer was right around the corner, so they wouldn't be apart for too long. He'd even promised to try and transfer to a college in New York for their junior year.
It was something to look forward to and made parting a little easier.
So, Riley said I love you because it was her turn and grabbed a kiss for the road. Lucas had a hard time letting her go but she finally untangled himself from his arms and pecked him on the cheek.
"We won't be apart for too long," Riley promised, smiling up at him.
"Summer can't come soon enough," Lucas said.
"It'll be here before you know it," Riley answered. "I love you."
"I love you too," Lucas replied, hugging her again.
This time it was easy to let go, they'd be coming back together soon enough.
The End
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Author's Note:
I will not write a sequel or "this was going on with Josh & Maya" to this story. I have nothing to say about them at the moment, which is new for me. But I'd like it if you told me what you thought about this. I really hope you liked it!
I am a shameless Red Sox fan, so I needed to drop that in. Kudos if you figure out who Miss Bliss is referencing. The title comes from a song called "It's That Simple" by Act As If. The poem is by Eliza Acton, I am not sure of the title. I googled it and couldn't find it. . . but I think it fit the situation.
I'll be back soon!
Lots of Love,
Holly, 4/15/2016