Harry Potter and the Internetian Troll
The Warning
Harry Potter, now aged 25 and the head of the MoM's Auror Office, sat in his spacious office in the MoM building. Across from him stood, or rather, floated a ghost of an old man, not unlike Professor Binns, except appearing more alert.
"Newt Scamander." said Harry.
The ghost nodded, its eyes gazing into Harry's.
"Or should I say…Joa—." Harry was cut off by a loud screech. It came from a young pheonix outside the window, which was struggling to satay aloft. "Shut up, Forkes. Fawkes didn't intrude on private meetings, you know." Harry said as he closed the curtains.
The "ghost" smiled, and materialized into a blond woman in her late thirties to her early forties by her look, still smiling.
"Neat charm. Now what business do you have with me?" Harry snapped. "After you wrote that outrageous biography about me?" He added.
"Now, now, calm yourself. It was over a decade since the last book about you was published." The woman said, smiling. "Besides, I was entirely faithful to history, wasn't I?"
"Yes, but I daresay that there would be nothing lost if my affair with Cho Chang wasn't included…" said Harry.
"Anyways, I have came to warn you." the woman said, as her expression tensed. "Recently, s/I herd u liek Mudkipzs/ I have heard that you have enabled internet connection to Muggle websites. That's nothing dangerous in itself. The problem is, there is a high population of Internetian Trolls lurking in the 'net."
"Trolls? Is that all? I thought that you would well remember that I took out a troll with Ron in our first year at Hogwarts." Harry said with a touch of incredulity.
"Internetian Trolls. They are nothing to be afraid of if you can find them, but the trouble is, you can't. They hide behind their own computers, some of which are, somehow, Unplottable and Spell-proof. But their real powers lay in their ability to creep within one's mind, choking it, corroding it… eventually resulting in insanity."
"If it's something like the Imperius Curse, then it could be counteracted. I'm actually thinking of a program to promote will-power in children. Remember what Mad-eye, I mean, Barty Crouch Jr. did to me in our Fourth year?" said Harry.
"I see that you're not convinced of their highly dangerous nature. Then heed my final piece of advice, Harry Potter: Whatever you do, do not go on .net. Do not." As the woman said this, she turned back into the ghost of Newt Scamander, and disappeared without a trace.
"" Harry muttered to himself. "Couldn't be more dangerous than Voldemort, could it?"
Following "Joa"'s visit, Harry immediately went to the Muggle Relations Office and acquired a laptop computer. Harry nonchalantly entered the URL, not expecting anything more than a joke or a photograph (of the Muggle variety) of Lord Voldemort. However, fear began to grow in him, as the 470,924 entries under the series sharing his name met his eyes. Harry clicked on the title with the most reviews.
What he saw made lose his sanity.
It was like a Lovecraftian horror, but worse…
Harry screamed. "No!"
Hear the scream, his bodyguards Aurors rushed in, and found the head of the Auror Office with his hands over his head, muttering gibberish.
"No… no… it can't be… It can't be!"
"Sir, are you alright?" one of the Aurors asked.
Upon hearing this, Harry looked up. The Aurors were alarmed to see a mad smirk that was spookily reminscent of Lord Voldemort on his face.
"Uh oh." One of the Aurors said.
Harry blased them aside with a curse, and without a word, flung himself out the open window of his office.
The Aurors recovered, thanks to their Shield Hats, and rushed to the window to see what had become of their superior. Harry was lying facedown on the ground, having sustained a eight-story fall, but seemed otherwise unharmed as there was an unusual abscense of blood.
"You know, if he wanted to kill himself, he could've just used the Avada Kedavra." said one Auror to the other.