Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

A/N: Hopefully the format of this story isn't too strange. It's supposed to take place about six months to a year before the movie. The lack of exact dates symbolizes how much the castle's weirdness messes with Columbia's mind.

If I get enough reviewers and/or readers, it might even go all the way to when the movie takes place.

Sunday, ?/?/1974

Dear diary,

I'm not sure of the exact date. And I only know it's Sunday because Magenta and Frank both said so when questioned at different times. Since I keep loosing track of this stuff, thanks to the castle's weirdness, I've decided to keep a diary.

Next thing you know, I'll forget my own name...

Wow, that's ridiculously dramatic.

Anyway, I'm going to write about my daily life in this diary. Hopefully I'll actually remember to write in it. Something about this place makes you forget sanity.

So... time to write about today.

Earlier, I painted my nails this glittery red color. To my annoyance, they've already begun chipping.

Am I seriously writing something that shallow?!

Whatever. Around here, meaning in the castle, everything is shallow. It seems like my only purpose here is to look pretty and 'have fun'. The definition of 'have fun' varies between 'screw Frankie when he feels like it', 'screw Magenta when you're both bored', and 'tap dance at parties'. What sort of life is that? Earlier, I asked Magenta that exact question.

Her reply?

"It's a life you should be grateful for. You're lucky to have a roof over your head, if those stories you tell are true."

Of course, she's right. It's better than being a 'proper' groupie. I know everyone who lives here, for one thing. And I've a stable source got food to eat, a bed to sleep in. Not to mention a few other luxuries (like running water) that I never had. Plus, they own the castle. That means nobody has to worry about rent or anything.

Maybe it's not so bad.

Oh dear. I've got to stop writing now. Magenta apparently can't sleep with the sound of my pencil scratching at the paper. Yeah, she just threw a pillow at me...

- Columbia (a groupie)

Monday, ?/?/1974

Dear diary,

I might as well describe today. It was perfectly normal by castle standards. Therefore it will be the right way to explain life here.

At about 6 AM, Magenta's alarm clock went off. Twenty minutes later, I fell back asleep. Since she's an actual servant she gets up hours before everyone else. Usually, I 'naturally' wake up around 9:30. Today I did, at least.

Then I got dressed in one of my everyday outfits. That meant a fitted, grey, lacy camisole; a glittery silver vest; a pink jacket with pink-and-white striped lining; a short, black skirt trimmed with sequins; glittery fishnet stockings held up by garters; and my usual tap shoes.

Once I'd applied my usual makeup, I went downstairs for breakfast. Breakfast happened to be chocolate chip pancakes. Magenta is a great cook, you know. And she's managed to learn how to prepare 'earthing foodstuff' after only a few months of knowing me.

"The Master wants to see you this evening," she told me.

"Okay..."

"After dinner, of course. The only reason I'm mentioning it now is because I need to tell you before it slipped my mind," she explained.

She'd probably be punished terribly if she forfeits to say something and he found out. That was something I really wanted to avoid. Despite her strange ways, I liked Magenta. And, even before we really got along, I still wouldn't want her to get hurt.

Once I'd finished eating breakfast, she kissed me passionately. The feeling of her wonderfully soft lips on mine and the sensation of her warm body pinning me against the the wall made my mind go blank for a moment. Sadly, that moment ended far to soon.

She walked away as if nothing had happened. People from the planet of Transsexual, Transylvania apparently thought of intimate contact as something shared between friends. Such a kiss was hardly more intense than a hug might be to an earthling.

Since I'm technically an ordinary earthling it meant far too much to me. Oh well.

After that, I went back to my room to find an outfit for tomorrow. I always had to pick out clothes the day before since it took so long.

Then it was time to 'rehearse'.

When I say that, I don't mean practice tap dancing. No, it's quite different. I like to see how many times I can improvise an 'intentional wardrobe malfunction' at parties- without anyone realizing it's intentional. By now I'm practically an expert at it. Yeah, I know that's weird. It's a game of sorts, you see. A very fun game...

I usually practice in front of my mirror until lunchtime.

When lunchtime came around, I went to the kitchen. After eating smoked salmon on toast I went to the ballroom. Now I would practice tap dancing.

So, for the rest of the afternoon, I practiced various routines. It's more fun than it sounds, you know.

Then it was time for dinner. Frank invited over a 'business partner' from his home planet and we are in the dining room. This 'business parter' apparently knew quite a bit about some sort of science thing Frank was suspiciously interested in.

To avoid falling out of favor with Frank, I didn't speak during the entire meal. I sure was glad when the 'business partner' left (though not before giving Frank a folder full of papers).

After dinner I went straight to Frankie's room, just as Magenta had told me to earlier today.

I spent quite a while in his bed. For some of that time I practically felt like he actually cared for me, nearly loved me. But then, once I'm sent back to my own room, I realize I'm just a groupie with only a decade or so of 'prettiness' left. God, I half wish I could have a picture age in my place. Just like Dorian Gray, the main character of a book I read when I was still that innocent kid years and years ago.

But it's best not to think about the old days. Now I've got to focus on my current life.

Of course, things don't always go exactly like today. But daily life doesn't vary that much from that.

- Columbia (a groupie)

Tuesday, ?/?/1974

Dear diary,

Today was interesting, to say the least. But not at first.

I spent most of the morning chatting with Magenta. Pretty normal.

"You know, I think they're up to something," she told me.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I think the Master and my brother are up to something," she replied, giving me a Look.

To my annoyance, I still didn't get it. "Like what?"

"Earlier I heard them talking. Something about packing. I have a feeling that they are going somewhere."

"Such as..."

"I'm not sure."

The conversation ended there, as Riff entered the room in search of his sister. Silently, he walked over to where she stood and put his arm around her waist.

"Should I leave you guys, er, alone?" I asked.

Magenta nodded gratefully. "Please do."

So, I left the room. I headed for the kitchen. It was about lunch time anyway. And when we haven't got guests over we eat meals there. That's why the dining room is always so messy, I suppose.

To my surprise I didn't see Frank anywhere. Usually he's in the kitchen for lunch at precisely 12:40. Today he somehow wasn't.

Later, I asked Mag.

"He's going away for a while," she told me.

I didn't really have the energy to ask how long 'a while' actually was.

- Columbia (a groupie)

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