"We had a great time with you, Peridot!" Lapis spoke on behalf of Amethyst and Steven. Amethyst and Steven had arranged to visit Peridot and Lapis on the weekends 3 years ago. Steven was 17, soon to be 18 in a few months. Steven and Amethyst began to pack up their things to go home when Lapis dragged Amethyst aside behind the barn.
"What?" hissed Amethyst. Tensions had passed behind the small purple gem and the water-bending gem for almost 4 years because they were in a race for the Peribooty™.
"You know what!" spat Lapis Lazuli. "I've seen how you've been leaning closer and closer to Peridot since, like, forever ago!" The gems argued back and forth, not knowing that the green gem with dorito-shaped hair had been close by, listening to their conversation. Peridot wasn't a naive idiot. She had known that Amethyst and Lapis had some tension between them, but this? This was truly out of control!
The next visit, Peridot and Steven sat uncomfortably together as they watched Lapis and Amethyst glare daggers at each other that could shatter even the most vigilant quartz soldiers. Peridot cleared her throat so intensely that the bee that had magically appeared on her shoulder nearly died of a heart attack.
"AHEM!" The three gems alongside her all flinched. "I have noticed the.. tension between you, Lazuli and Amethyst." Amethyst cringed so hard that she had to shapeshift to allow her expression to even exist. Lapis merely sat frozen in place.
"So.. I would like you to meet someone. Barry?" Peridot spoke, gathering the attention of the bee on her shoulder. Lapis and Amethyst got out of their cringing state and stared blankly at Peridot.
"W-who's Barry?" Amethyst asked reluctantly. Peridot had befriended many odd humans and she was afraid that she had began to date one of them, since Peridot had expressed interest in the concept of romantic love.
"Why, my bee-loved boyfriend Barry B. Benson, Amethyst! Have you not been paying attention to the last 11 minutes of filler?" Peridot exclaimed.
"What-" Amethyst began, before ear-raping Seinfield music with the phrase "Ya like jazz" repeated over and over began. Steven killed himself but since he was crying due to the bad music he accidentally revived himself. He then managed to shove himself in his own portal hair, but the music was only worse in his pocket dimension and Steven could not escape.
A bad fanfic write- I mean, Rebecca Sugar finished reading the script to the Crewniverse. Nobody moved an inch. Zach Callison tried to joke, quoting his character, "If every porkchop were perfec-" His line was interrupted as Rebecca shot him in the head.
"Anyone else got something to say?!" the crazed Rebecca Sugar said. She had been making Steven Universe for 50 years yet somehow never needed to replace character voices. The whole Crewniverse shook their heads, trying not to ogle at the bleeding body of Zach Callison. "Alrighty then." an evil smirk grew on the woman's face.
"AAAAAAARGHHHH!" screamed the whole Steven Universe fanbase.
There was no going back now.