It's too late.
The words kept running in his head.
Stupid. I am so stupid.
A part of him wanted to scream. A part of him wanted to yell. Why was I so stupid? Why was I being such a bastard?
The voices in his mind wouldn't stop, they made him feel dizzy. Though, he still ran. And ran. And ran. And ran. Without even knowing where to go.
He was out of breath. His legs couldn't keep moving anymore. So he stopped, and he fell on his knees.
Just like the scene in a cliché romance movies you'd see on theaters, rain started falling. Making him all wet and cold. Making his head spinning.
And the memories started playing back in his head, it's like watching a movie where you're the main role, where the movie is about you and your life.
i.
"Fredderly! Let me go! AAAAH! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"
"I'll never let you go, Princess," he said, grinning.
"Put me down! PUT ME DOWN!" she shouted as he began to spin their bodies around.
"Nope, never!" although he said he'd never put her down, he did what she commanded him. He put her down and…
And then he tickled her until they both fell onto the grass. She fell first, her back lied on the ground. And then, he fell right on top of her body.
They closed her eyes. He tried so hard to roll his body so he could get off of hers.
For a second, they could only hear their own sound of breathing. But then, she chuckled and they both laughed.
She suddenly stopped laughing and turned her head to face him, "What's so funny, nub?" she stared at him with a serious look on her face.
"You're funny," he smirked. He stared at her blue eyes. Two beautiful eyes that never failed to make him lose his mind.
"What?"
He shook his head and smiled. And then he got up. She also got up and leaned closer to him. She rested her head on his shoulder. Her curly blonde hair fell on his chest.
"Nub?"
"Demon."
"Do you love me?" she whispered.
"Of course I do."
"You're not lying, aren't you?"
He frowned, "I love you, Sam. We both know that."
Silence.
"Promise me you'll never leave?" she said quietly.
"I promise."
"You swear you'll never let me go? That you'll always run for me?" she asked. Her voice sounded so fragile. She sounded scared and terrified.
"I swear."
"I don't wanna lose you," she whispered and buried her face on his chest.
He ran his hand on her golden hair, "I don't, either," and then kissed the top of her head.
"You know what? You are the best thing that's ever been mine."
"And you were too."
She trusted him, she trusted him with all her heart.
She could only hope that he actually meant it.
ii.
"Freddie!" she called him. Lately she had been calling him with his real name. At first, he felt strange that she was being less abusive. But then he realized that she just wanted to change, to be a better person.
"Hey, what's up?" he walked towards her.
She slammed her locker shut, "Uh, we're going to have dinner together, tonight at Cheesecake Warehouse, right? Don't say you forgot that."
He froze, and then smacked his own forehead, "Sam! I'm so sorry, I have to do a school work tonight with—"
"—Brad, Pete, Tom and Ken, again?" she cut him and sighed.
"I'm so sorry…"
"Okay, whatever." She rolled her eyes.
"Hey, Freddie!" someone called him and he turned around to see four boys standing right in front of him, his new 'best friends'.
"Hey," Freddie grinned. And then he turned around to her, "Sam, I need to go. See you later," he kissed her left cheek and then left before even letting her speak.
"Sure. I'll see you later," she whispered to the empty hallway.
He'd got new friends, that's a good thing. But now she felt like she was being trashed.
Because his new friends seemed more important than her to him.
And sometimes, it kinda hurt her, knowing that she'd never be the number one for him.
iii.
It's weird to know that from the very beginning, she was always the first one who made a move.
She was the first one who started a conversation the day they met in 3rd grade. That day, he was eating alone in the cafeteria and she'd sat beside him, asking him what his name was. And then she'd said "What a stupid name, Fredward. Why don't you call yourself Freddie? Or, maybe, Freddork?"
She was the first one who was thinking about kissing him in the fire escape, just to 'get it over with'. But then he apparently was thinking the same thing, and they ended up sharing their very first kiss together.
A few years later, she was the one who made a move at the lock-in. It was all because of the stupid Mood-App. She'd kissed him, and then confessed her feeling. "I never hated you. I've always liked you, nub. I was just scared to tell you, because you've always been in love with Carly. And I don't want you to think that I'm in love with Brad, because I never was." And then he'd smiled and leaned down to kiss her gently. "I like you too," he'd said. "And I'm over Carly, Sam."
Sometimes she wanted him to made a move first. Sometimes she really wanted to know if he really cared about her.
Because lately, he didn't seem to actually care about her.
And it scared her.
iv.
"This isn't gonna work," she mumbled.
He stopped walking, "What?"
"This isn't gonna work!" she shouted in front of his face.
"What isn't gonna work?"
"Us! Our relationship is never gonna work."
He frowned. "What? Why? I love you, Sam. I really do."
"Yeah, you love them more than me."
"Them?"
She rolled her eyes, trying to hide the tears that began to form, "Yeah, your new best friends."
He scoffed, "You jealous, Puckett? You jealous that I spend more time with time with them than you?"
"I'm your girlfriend! And you didn't even seem to care!"
"Well I care about you!"
"Really?" she raised her eyebrows. "Were you there for me when my uncle came to visit and told me that my dad was dead? Were you there when my mom was depressed and drunk and she almost killed me by hitting me with those bottles of alcohol? Were you there when my mom left me without saying anything? Oh—do you even know that I'm compeletely alone now, with Carly and Spencer moved to Yakima and my dad died and my mom left and my sister didn't even try to contact me or came back to Seattle eventhough she knew I was alone? And then you left me, busy doing things with your new friends!" she practically shouted, she didn't even care that people around them began to stare at her.
He just stood there, his jaw dropped.
"This isn't gonna work, Freddie. You said you loved me but you don't even know anything about me. You're too busy with your new life. You said you cared, but you lied to me. You never cared about me, right? I meant nothing to you! I will never be the number one!"
He stood still, didn't even try to speak.
"Do you ever really loved me, Freddie?"
He just stood there. He didn't say yes, he didn't say no. He couldn't speak. The voice wouldn't come. It hurt him too much seeing her like this, crying in front of him. It broke him inside out. He didn't answer because he couldn't. Because it also pained him when she looked so fragile like this.
But for her, it was too obvious. She knew the answer. At least, she thought she knew the answer.
"I knew it. I was such a fool," she began to sob, "stupid girl. Stupid boy. Stupid love. Stupid reality!"
She turned around and ran.
After a while, she stopped. She turned around, and he was nowhere to be seen.
He didn't run for her. She really didn't mean a thing for him.
Tears began streaming on her face. She shook her head, she couldn't believe that this really happened.
She turned around and ran.
She closed her eyes, but she still ran. She didn't care where her steps lead her, she just ran.
She ran away, from the best—or probably the worst—thing that had ever happened to her.
She still ran as fast as she could, and then she heard a loud sound of a horn.
In a few last seconds she had, she realized that she was running accros the busy street.
The next thing she felt was pain. The last thing she saw was a blinding light from the truck that hit her. The last thing she heard was a yell. A voice that she knew too well, a voice that she'd never hear again.
"SAM!"
He felt numb.
He had lost her, the best thing that had ever been his.
And it's all his fault.
She was right, I never seemed to care.
She was right, I never really show her that I needed her.
But to be honest, he did need her. He just didn't know what to do. He was just too afraid to show his affection, because he wasn't the kind of romantic person.
So he spent most of his times with his guy friends. Asking for help, asking for advices, how to show her that she was the best thing in his life.
But what he'd done was wrong.
He should've been there for her.
But he never was.
She was right, he was such a jerk.
And now, and now it's too late to show her that he actually cared.
Because she was already gone.
Because she wasn't here anymore.
Because there was nothing he could do.
He hated himself. More than anything.
If only he had done things right. If only he hadn't wasted the time he had with her. If only he could turn back the time…
But the clock wouldn't turn back.
And he had lost his chance,
to tell her that he needed her,
to show her that he loved her,
to kiss her and apologize for everything.
He couldn't, because it's too late.
It's too late, he had wasted his chance.
Too late to even regret the stupid things that he had done.
A/N: What do you think? I'm really sorry that I always make Freddie look like a jerk… I couldn't help it… hahaha. This is the first time I write a story with "darker" theme that mentions about a character's death, hehe. Do you like it? do you have some advice for this girl so she could be a better writer? Well, review! ;P
GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. iLOST MY MIND IS COMING IN LESS THAN 12 HOURS. I'M FREAKING OUT, LIKE SERIOUSLY!
I can't wait to see what happens next between Sam and Freddie, THE BEST COUPLE I EVER KNOW.
Seddie forever. Seddie forever. Seddie forever! ;;)
R&R! xxx