AN: This is my first Gossip Girl fiction ever. I have no idea if I did this right or not because it's been a while since I've last seen anything gossip girl related. But I was bored and needed to have some fun with new characters. I'm a huge Serena/Chuck fan so I decided to give it a try. I'm not really sure of how many chapters this will have but you can expect at least 3, if I get some good feedback. Enjoy ;-)
She's broken.
Well, she's Serena van der Woodsen.
Broken is her middle name.
She can't really remember a time in which she felt anything but that for more than just a few hours. Or at least she doesn't want to think about it because it would only lead to unnecessary pain.
She wasn't entirely happy when she was dating Dan.
It's not that he wasn't a good guy. He was and he treated her right. He was sweet, caring and as sensitive as one can be. The problem was that Serena is not the kind of girl who simply dates nice guys.
She's a troublemaker and a nice guy can't handle the ridiculous number of extraordinary stories that come with dating her. Partying hard comes with the package and Dan is more the stay-home kind of guy.
Therefore, after a while, Serena realized that Dan wasn't enough.
He couldn't handle her.
She tried dating Nate for a while.
He seemed to be the perfect combination. He knew her so well that nothing would be able to really surprise him. He had the 'nice guy' exterior but she knew he had a wild person inside of him. She tried to bring that Nate out.
But, in the end, they both realized she wasn't what he needed and he was far from being what she needed. Sure, he was one step closer to that than Dan but it was still some steps away. Someone like Blair was the one for him, no matter how much they both tried to deny it.
She had many boyfriends besides Nate and Dan but those were so far away from what she craved that Serena doesn't give them a lot of thought.
She's sitting on Chuck's couch, all those thoughts running through her mind.
It's a lazy Saturday afternoon in the middle of the winter. It's too cold outside for her to venture out and she doesn't feel like discussing boys or clothes with Blair.
She doesn't want Nate questioning her about what's wrong.
She is feeling lazy and this couch never seemed quite so comfortable. The cup of hot chocolate in her hands is all she needs at the moment, combined with the warmth provided by the blanket draped across her legs.
She's so wrapped up in her thoughts that she doesn't hear someone opening the door and only realizes she's not alone anymore when Chuck sits next to her on the couch with a glass of scotch in his hands.
"I'm not even going to ask how you managed to simply walk into my house and make yourself at home."
Serena gives him an adorable smile and rests her head on his shoulder. "You said I could always come by and visit you whenever I felt broken."
Yes, Chuck knows just how broken she is.
He has been there to witness most of her downfalls, most of her breakdowns and to help her with all her problems. He understands it all because he is just the same.
So, Chuck simply takes a sip out of his drink and rests one of his hands on her blanket-covered legs. "What happened this time?"
It's a simple question.
She knows she can tell him anything. He never judges, never says a bad word about her behavior and never lectures her about the rashness of some of her decisions.
That's why she answers him without thinking twice about it.
"Blair is getting married."
Chuck lets out a dry laugh and pats her leg. "Don't tell me you're getting jealous now…I never pegged you for someone who would want to marry a prince."
Serena laughs and wraps her arms around his body, just to be close to him.
It's comfortable…easy.
"I never wanted to marry a prince. But I've always wanted my happily-ever-after. She's getting hers in just a few days."
Chuck drops a kiss on the top of her head, a very rare gesture of affection that he never dares to perform if they're not alone. "There's no such thing as happily-ever-after, Serena."
That makes her frown.
Serena lifts her head from his shoulder and unwraps her arms from around him to look into his eyes. "Do you really believe in that?"
Chuck shrugs and takes another sip out of his drink, not seeming to care about her reaction. "Why wouldn't I?"
Serena has never been one to believe in fairytales either but, for some reason, this is a discussion she wants to have with Chuck. For some reason, it bothers her that he really thinks like that.
"Do you really think that two people who love each other can't be happy together for the rest of their life?"
He shrugs once again and it starts to get on her nerves.
"Look around, Serena. My father was a liar and never told me who my mother was. Blair's father divorced her mother to run away with another man. Nate's father is in jail and his mother is a wreck. Your mother collects husbands like medals. I've never had a relationship that lasted more than three months. Nate never dated anyone other than Blair for more than four months. Blair is searching for that fairytale life and ends up smashing other people on her way up. And don't even get me started on your past relationships. How can you believe in a happily-ever-after when you're surrounded by this kind of things? Just stop living on that dream-world and look around for once in your life, Serena."
His words would probably hurt any other person.
But she's different.
She doesn't let that stop her because she knows that, in the end, he wants to believe that as much as she does but is afraid of hoping. No one can ever say that Serena is not stubborn, though.
She insists, when any other person would have given up.
"It doesn't have to be in a romantic way. What about a friendship that lasts forever?"
He laughs and finishes his drink. "Are you talking about whom, exactly? No friendship here can last more than just a few months without a huge fight breaking. You and Blair are no exception. You fight every two months, spend two weeks without even talking to each other and then everything goes back to normal. The same thing happens with you and Nate. That's not happily-ever-after. It's happily-until-our-next-fight."
Serena gives up. This conversation is starting to depress her and the last thing she needs right now is that.
She's starting to realize that maybe she's what's wrong in all those friendships. Maybe she was what was wrong in all her past relationships.
If he doesn't want to understand what she wants to say, then it's fine by her. She's not sure if she believes that anymore, either.
She gets up from the couch without saying a word, puts her shoes on and grabs her purse. Chuck doesn't make a move to stop her but she wasn't really expecting him to.
So, she leaves without saying a word.
Sure, she needed to feel a bit less lonely today but if Chuck wants to be a cold-hearted guy then let him be.
She can wallow in her own misery alone. Or in the company of a bartender willing to pour her a few drinks…
X
X
Should I go on or just leave it like this?
Love,
Sarah