A/N: I had too much fun writing this today!

I realized I was going to work on the 28th for most part of the day, and since my timezone doesn't help one bit, I'm posting it now, a few hours earlier - for me at least :P

Happy Reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything related.

When his dead last of friend barged in his apartment three hours ago, he never thought things would end like this. She's going to destroy his apartment — his new apartment. Then she's going to murder them in the most painfully way that only her tiny powerful fists can. Although he was pretty sure he could get away with it and be spared — or he hoped to.

Today was Sakura's 19th birthday. The first one that Team Seven could celebrate together — all of them — after the war and the chaotic events followed by the reconstruction of peace.

The pink-haired nin had the day off but celebrating on a Thursday wasn't the ideal and they wouldn't be able to get all her important people together. So, when she said, "It's ok, I'll just have lunch with my parents and then go to the club with the girls on Saturday", the Dobe said it was their mission as teammates and friends to give their Sakura-chan a special celebration.

The Idiot almost knocked his door off interrupting his precious afternoon nap — yeah times of peace people — and demanded they throw her a birthday dinner at his place "Cause it's cool and you have more space."

Seeing it as a battle that he didn't have the energy to win, he only sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. For Naruto, who was mostly fluent in 'sasukeish', that meant "just do whatever you want".

And that's how, he ended up cake shopping — of all things! — at four in the afternoon, and less than 3 hours to the said birthday dinner.

Kakashi couldn't make it — it was understandable due to his busy Hokage schedule. But he had tea earlier with the cherry blossom and sent the best sake in town to their team gathering, delivered by some questionable genin team.

Naruto was still out, food shopping, and Sasuke silently prayed he wouldn't bring them bowls of ramen — again.

Surprisingly, the raven-haired nin accomplished his task pretty quickly. When he entered the small bakery — her favorite — and asked which birthday cakes they had available, he was ready to receive a simple "none". Who goes cake shopping hours before a 'party'? These things needed to be planned and ordered beforehand, as far as he could remember, that was how his mother used to do.

However, when the baker glanced at him after closing the cash register, and blinked twice frozen in place, he knew he had scored — and for once his looks had got him something useful.

She baked Sakura's favorite cake from scratch — for free —with a weak excuse of "Please, Uchiha-san, you are a war hero. This is one of the things I can do for you." With a short "thanks-bye" nod, he left before she tried to do anything else for him.

And Sai, who was apparently a permanent fixture of Team Seven since before Sasuke's return, was in charge of a group gift. Another one of the Dobe's brilliant ideas, probably because he didn't buy her anything — what nobody knew was that the raven-haired boy did.

At seven o'clock sharp, Sakura knocked at her teammate's door. She hasn't been to his new place yet, but if she could trust any of Naruto's words, it was definitely something out of a movie — in the fancy side of the village — and probably big enough to stuff many little Uchihas — Oh god, stop thinking about these things.. but he's the one that wanted to restore his clan since he was twelve. Ugh.

The door was opened by the host, and probably for some time already because he was looking at her expectantly. She gave him a weak smile, hoping she didn't say anything out loud, and muttered a "Hi Sasuke-kun" which was replied with a usual "Hn."

Because of her special day — and because she had the time — she had actually dressed up and had her hair in a twisted up-do with strands framing her face. She might have overdone it, but she was feeling special and she didn't care what her boys would think — it was her day after all.

Maybe that's why he was staring.

Thank-Kami Sai was already there, because since the last Uchiha had returned, there was this weird tension going on between them. She wasn't sure if they were friends or just teammates — or friends that maybe, possibly, could be something else? — but it was awkward and she wouldn't be able to hold a decent, normal conversation with him alone — in his apartment, alone.

When she noticed that the other team member was missing, she sat on the fancy leather couch — Uchiha and their expensive luxurious things, tsk — and asked, "Where's Naruto?"

"Dickless is bringing the food, he should be here soon."

Being a good host, Sasuke brought them a tray with glasses, sake, and other drinks which were all welcomed. "Kakashi sent these earlier," he gestured between the bottles. "It's the good stuff."

"Hun," Sakura scoffed, "..the good stuff he can handle you mean."

Being the Godaime's apprentice, Sakura had an inhuman hold of alcohol — which still amused Sasuke and everybody else. How a tiny little thing could drink more than a sailor and still not get drunk easily?

They were interrupted by the doorbell. Sakura looked at her host and arched a brow questionably. Naruto wouldn't ring, he would either use his knock-nonsense-combination or simply barge in. "Are we expecting someone?"

"No. Did you invite someone else?"

"Nope."

"That must be your gift, Ugly"

"Gift?"

"Yeah, we have a group gift for you." With a fake tiny smile, Sai got up to open the door.

When he left the room, Sakura turned to the other nin and mouthed a "What?" gesturing to the door and trying to understand why her gift would have to ring.

"Tch. I don't know, maybe it's a delivery?" He shrugged.

When Sai returned to the room, he was not alone — and he was not with Naruto either.

Standing at the living room threshold, a man cloaked — unmistakably resembling the last Uchiha — waved at them with a boyish smile that the original would never pull. Not in public at least.

"You must be the birthday girl!" the stranger winked.

Sakura was shocked, mouth agape.

Sasuke stilled beside her.

"I gave this gentleman the Team Seven picture — that one that was taken right after the war — so he could use for the henge" Sai said while bringing a chair from the kitchen and placing it in the middle of the living room.

Hun?

Robotically, Sai held her shoulders and pushed her to sit at said chair, and then patted her hair. "I hope you enjoy. It checked all the requests on your list."

List? Requests?

Before she could ask what the fuck was he talking about, the Doppelgänger was in front of Sasuke's high tech media center, blasting some corny music out of nowhere and taking off his cloak.

And she gasped.

There in front of her was Sasuke, — younger and a carbon copy of her battlefield teammate: grey shirt half-way open, dark nin pants, and that stupid purple bow — all while Sasuke her teammate and the true Uchiha, was still frozen, one eye twitching and hands clenching into fists.

"W-What.." She trailed off.

And when the — clearly, now — professional dancer started moving sensually to the beat, and Sai placed a single finger on his lips, signing her to stop talking and just enjoy her private-not-so-private show already, she remembered.

She remembered a conversation she had with Ino a week ago. That Pig!

They were tipsy. They had a girls' night, just the two of them, because they finally got a day off together, and Kami they needed to gossip and do girly things.

And at the dead of the night — in Ino's room — they were talking boys and other unspeakable things, when they thought nobody would listen. Was Sai there? He is Ino's boyfriend, but she wasn't sure how comfortable they were regarding her house as Ino still lived with her mother.

Rewinding the night, she remembered when Ino asked her that damn question. She asked if Sakura could have one thing for one night — a naughty night that is, no regrets and no overthinking — what would that be?

And Sakura replied eagerly "I'd have him," she sighed dreamily "..and he'd dance for me." At that both girls giggled for a good while.

Breathless, she added "Better yet, he would be wearing that old outfit — with that stupid purple bow," she snarled "..yeah definitely that — and his duck-butt hair!"

Ino poked her on the side. "And then what, Forehead?"

"Then I'd ravish him!"

Sakura paled at the memory. The blood was drained from her face, however, her cheeks were still brightly red.

Sasuke held Sai by the collar of his shirt, shouting things at him that she couldn't process right now, because —

The twin dancer had just dropped his shirt on her lap, and he was taking off his trousers, when Naruto barged in.

She coughed loudly, and it quickly escalated to a cough fit — of embarrassment and all the other things.

Naruto had stopped on his tracks, dropping bowls of ramen on the pristine wood floor. Sasuke was going to kill him for that. He took in the scene and stared at his friends unblinkingly.

There was a dancer in the middle of the living room — now, almost on Sakura-chan's lap — he had only a purple thong on and a hideous purple bow. Wait, Teme?

No! Teme was punching a very confused Sai, and shouting words that even Ero-sennin

wouldn't dare to repeat.

Sakura-chan was coughing frantically, holding a hand over her mouth and nose — is that blood? — and her eyes were clearly glued to Teme's perv impostor.

What the fuck is going on here?

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?"

She wanted to die. Sakura Haruno wanted to dig a whole and shove her head inside.

"It was Naruto's idea.." Sai blurted out.

And Sakura snapped from her trance. Wait, what? "NARUTOOOOOO!"

"Hey! I asked you to get a thoughtful group gift for Sakura-chan, not to get her a stripper and a lap dance!" He shouted back, pointing his finger towards the inky boy.

And everything would be fixable if he had stopped there. "Even though she seems to be enjoying it quite a lot, we didn't need to see that.." He gestures up down the imposter that was still dancing.

There was a second of silence, where the music was completely gone, before a new beat started. During this second, Sasuke felt a prickling sensation on his nape so annoying that could only be connected to one person — he stilled then, fist mid-air.

Naruto was still babbling something along the lines of "oh my eyes, my virgin eyes.. I won't be able to un-see the Teme in that purple thingy", when Sasuke turned to face the pink-haired nin, and then his eyes widened — suppressed expressions completely forgotten.

He could swear there was steam coming off of her — her eyes were fierce and piercing the soul of any living thing on her way, brows furrowed; her nose was scrunched up in a snarl, and her hands were curled into tiny tight fists that trembled with each deep breath.

Sakura was a vision — destruction captivated.

"You!" Sakura pointed to the dancer, who was now watching them attentively and grabbing his clothes without breaking eye contact. "If the Idiot there paid you already, get dressed and go home." Before he could do just that, she added "Leave the bow, I have plans for that stupid thing."

"You," She turned to Sai, who was on the floor by Sasuke's feet, almost nonchalant. "..will never do something that Ino-Pig tells you to do regarding me — ever again — you hear me?"

Sai was about to ask a question, finger up and all. "Don't say anything, don't even smile," and his smile faltered automatically. "Hold on, I'm going to punch you six ways into next week first, then you can leave."

Sakura was still fuming, chest heaving, when she did a one-eighty to face Naruto. "You-You'll never give tasks to that Idiot — without supervision —again. Unless is something mechanic that the Robot can do alone."

Before Naruto could say anything she continued. "You'll clear this mess. It's not Sasuke's fault you messed everything up, Baka." He didn't dare say anything, he wasn't sure if she had finished it.

"You'll also go out, take this pulp with you, because I don't want to see him for a long time."

"Pulp..?"

"Yeah, he'll be a pulp when I'm done with him — and you'll take him to that Pig and she'll fix him herself, and it will take her all night. Relax on your day off my ass, Pig!

Naruto only nodded.

Good. "On your way back, you'll stop by the market. Bring me some dango, anko dumplings and umebosh. And before you ask a stupid question, yes you'll pay with your own money."

Naruto relaxed, at least his only punishment was spending money.

She took a deep breath and turned to the last teammate present. Taking in his half-guilty pout and crossed arms, she softened, and he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Y-You," Ugh, his damn gorgeous eyes. "You'll forget whatever the hell happened here, — which includes the stunt that the Idiot and the Pig tried to pull — and we'll pretend that this thing never happened. This goes for all of you."

She cleared her throat, and with determination she asked sweetly "And as a birthday gift, Sasuke-kun, you're going to Amaterasu that stupid purple thingy for me."

Two minutes passed, and nobody moved or said anything. And it's then that she snarled "Now!" with finality.

And that's why when Kakashi asked them how Sakura's celebration was, everybody replied with a palpable dread in their voices "We don't talk about that."

Bonus scenes:

Ino-Pig spent the total of 9 hours taking care of Sai that night. He still doesn't get it.

Naruto had to do two trips to the market, because he forgot everything Sakura asked, and he was too afraid to try just to bring more ramen bowls.

To avoid any further damage to his apartment floor, Sasuke took Sakura and his former purple bow to the lake. They watched as it burnt down with Amaterasu – it took less than 10 minutes.

Kakashi is considering bribery – or extortion – to find out what happened that night.

Less than a year later, it's heard that Naruto pulled the same stunt – this time on Sasuke – using a bunshin and henge. Sources confirmed the success rate, and that the raven-haired nin didn't need a transfusion, even though he suffered a substantial blood loss. Naruto, however, spent the night at the hospital.

Sasuke didn't have the chance to give Sakura her gift that night.

A month later, when Sai was fully welcomed around Sakura again, they were having team dinner at Ichikaru's when Sai asked: "Ugly, were you going to ravish the Traitor before or after the dance?"

Sai spent a week in the hospital, following that question.

In that same day, when Naruto finally came back with the right food, he found his two best friends half-drunk and laughing. He had to babysit them for the rest of the night, to avoid anymore accidental nakedness.

After the two incidents, Naruto constantly snickers around Sasuke. He knows better than to do the same around the pink-haired nin.

By Sasuke's birthday, he was able to muster the courage to knock at Sakura's door and give her the belated birthday gift he kept. It wasn't anything fancy – or meaningful he thinks – but he told her that when he saw the viridian stone encased by obsidian during his travels, he thought of her. And he didn't tell her that his first option was too presumptuous and because of that, he chose to hang the gem on a chain instead.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it :D

P.S. If you follow "Stripping The Walls" - don't worry, I'm touching up the great finale :)

"Happy Birthday, Sakura!"