A/N: Wow! I had to do quite a bit of research about stock for this fic! I know the events of Iron Man and the Keurig-Dr. Pepper merger happened ten years apart from one another, but bear with me!
This is a Tumblr Thursday post, everybody. For those unfamiliar, these particular stories are those based closely on Tumblr posts. Today's story is based on a post by yourdailyhiddles, with contributions from mybelovedcheshire, accioironman, and valerieparker, discussing the concept of Pepper receiving a PhD. Consequently, this would technically make her Dr. Pepper, and this would compel Tony to buy out Dr. Pepper...You intelligent folks get the jist. (;
If anyone personally knows the original posters, please help me make them aware of this story! It's dedicated to them, after all. Please, enjoy.
XOXO, Helix.
Disclaimer: I don't own Iron Man, Dr. Pepper, or Party City.
"You still won't have as many degrees as I do."
Tony's abrupt comment caused Pepper to startle, and her hand slipped. She huffed, annoyed. She had dropped her pearl earring on the carpet.
They were at her apartment in Santa Monica, and she was trying to prepare for her award ceremony. Stanford was awarding her an honorary doctorate in Business Management—and Tony insisted he join her to "help" her get ready while Happy waited outside with the limousine.
She had argued that it wasn't appropriate—she wasn't quite sure where their relationship stood after his Iron Man announcement—but there had been no stopping him. He had already made himself quite comfortable in her living space: the man had the adaptability of a chameleon.
Tony bent and pinched it between his thumb and forefinger, proffering it to her.
"Thank you." She accepted it before glancing at him curiously. "Does it really bother you that much?"
"What?" He asked—then realized. "No. No, of course not."
"Well, good," Pepper murmured primly. "It isn't up to you to approve whether or not I receive an honorary doctorate in business, from my Alma Mater, anyway. You don't have to be jealous."
"I can't tell if you're being facetious, or sincere."
Pepper clasped a strand of cream pearls around her neck. "Why can't it be both?"
"I promise that I'm not jealous." He leaned a hip against her vanity, and gave her an appraising look. Her powder blue dress and matching heels really were lovely with her skin.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Besides..." Tony paused, as if he was reluctant to tell her something at least mildly important. "It actually works out great. That you're receiving it, I mean."
That was a strange thing to say.
Pepper twisted around. "What do you mean, Tony?"
But he only beamed at her—the picture of innocence.
"Don't worry about it. Take your time, gorgeous—I'll meet you in the limo."
Tony pressed a kiss to her hair and he was gone.
She rolled her eyes to herself, but couldn't shake the feeling that something was...off.
"What do you mean that I'm a significant shareholder in Keurig-Dr. Pepper?!" Pepper screeched.
It was Tuesday—four days after the ceremony—and she had been spending a casual workday in Tony's mansion. She wore a classy combination of jeans, a black long-sleeve shirt, and heels. She had gotten a fair chunk of work done, she had felt pretty, and very nearly relaxed. It had been a nice day.
Key words: had been.
Until two minutes ago.
"Yes, I understand what shareholder means," she said tightly. "I just...I wasn't aware that...well, I think that I would remember buying such a large chunk of stock in a—a beverage company!"
"We've checked it out with Keurig-Dr. Pepper, Ms. Potts. It's all legitimate. Hell, I'd go so far as to think of it as a gift, you know? It'll probably turn out to be a mighty big profit once it gains some traction."
A sharp migraine burned behind Pepper's eyes. She didn't notice when the music from the garage suddenly stopped. "But twelve percent? That would be an obscene amount of money we're talking about, Bob. Are you absolutely sure?"
Bob from Marketing, a man whom she trusted with her life, had called only to wish her his congratulations on the newest addition to her stock portfolio. According to him, she had invested nearly two whole weeks ago. He had been as equally surprised to find that she had had zero knowledge of it. In hindsight, he had probably saved her from dying of a heart attack when she went to check her almost certainly fatter bank statement that upcoming Thursday. As it was, she was already having chest pains.
"'An argument could be made for fifteen percent'?" Pepper repeated incredulously. Where was this coming from?
Oh, oh, she had been having such a nice day...!
"Yeah. I'm afraid that's all they're willing to part with on such short notice, however. For now, at least."
Pepper nearly choked.
"Please, Bob! I was in no way implying that I wanted any more. Oh, God," she prayed desperately under her breath, horrified. She was drawing a complete blank. She was blindsided. "I'd, um, like to speak to your supervisor, if you don't mind."
"Mr. Stark is my supervisor, ma'am. You'll have to take this up with him."
Her heart sank. That was right. Of course he was.
Pepper swallowed tightly. "Trust me, I will, thank you."
For nothing! Lord, have mercy!
She was just about to hang up, when a strange thought—so absurd that it had to be untrue—flashed across her mind. The timing was just...
Pepper hesitated. It was ridiculous.
But...
She would rather know for certain.
"Wait!" She cried. "Are you still there?"
"Yes, Ms. Potts. What else can I do for ya?"
She bit her lip.
Calm, calm, calm. Keep it together, Potts.
"You compared it to a gift, Bob. Could you look into this? See who...who sanctioned...this gift, in my name? Since it wasn't me," she added unnecessarily.
"Sure. Gimme a sec, girlie."
Where Bob sometimes lacked in workplace professionalism, he more than made up for in sheer dedication. Pepper knew for a fact that he—and the entire PR department for that matter—would wrap themselves around a grenade for her, and today, she appreciated it more than ever. He only left her waiting for four minutes.
"Now, Ms. Potts..." Bob hesitated.
"What?" She fretted, fearing his answer and simultaneously anticipating it. "What is it?"
"You're not going to like this..."
Thirty seconds later, Pepper thanked Bob and hung up the phone.
Doctor Virginia Potts.
Dr. Pepper.
This was his idea of a congratulatory gift.
She was going to kill him.
Now that she didn't have to worry about Bob bearing auditory witness to her conniption, she placed the house-phone back in the cradle on the coffee table, very gently, sucked in a sharp, deliberate breath...
"TONY STARK!"
Her only answer was the unrepentant roar of an Audi R8 peeling out of the garage.
Tony flew down the PCH (far, far, far away from the mansion) but even with his considerable distance coupled with the smooth grumble of his car, he could still hear the Doppler Effect amplifying her furious scream.
Well, in his mind, at least.
It had been beautiful.
The fresh memory split his face into a blinding smile again, and he sipped from his bottle of soda. It was icy cold and the carbonation was strong, and he admitted that it was pretty tasty—though, he had always been a Sprite sort of guy.
He had considered buying out the entire company, but decided against it. After all, he hadn't wanted her to die of shock. That would seriously suck.
Bubbles fizzled on his lips, and he wondered, idly, what Pepper would taste like after downing a can.
Once he earned her forgiveness, that was.
And wooed her.
The two probably wouldn't come in that specific order.
Eh. That was semantics. Afterward, though, he would wait awhile...and, when she wasn't looking, he would strike again.
He already knew his next order of business, too: contacting his geneticists under IntilliCrops and asking them to breed a new hybrid of pepper. It would probably be less complicated than leading an expedition to South America to discover a new species. Trust, he had looked into it, just...y'know. Bugs.
Eugh.
Either way, he would get a pepper (and hopefully, eventually, the Pepper) in the end. He would name it for her and everything.
Oh, man.
He could already picture her face.
And once she got over it, she would be, ultimately, charmed. She would love him forever, just like he knew he would love her forever.
Tony's heart thrilled with excitement at the prospect, and he opened the throttle, and laughed.
A/N: If I've inspired you to do so, please review! REMINDER: I will never haggle you for reviews.
-HS