Splat You're It

by perriannath

while put on stand down SG1 makes plans, only to be ruined when they find that Daniel and a group have other ideas of how to spend their time off.

Splat…You're It

AUTHOR: Perriannath

EMAIL: G

CATEGORY: humor, action, alternate universe, drama

SUMMARY: while put on stand down SG-1 makes plans, only to be ruined when they find that Daniel and a group have other ideas of how to spend their time off.

SPOILERS: mentions of Proving Ground

AUTHOR'S COMMENTS: um thank you to Proving Ground the episode jump started this idea

DISCLAIMER: The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and back-story are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

"" SG-1 you have leave for nine days take advantage of that time." Hammond told his flagship team as they sat around the Briefing Room table. Four startled looks were directed his way. "What why is something wrong?" Sam asked. "Nothing is wrong what's happening is that the Joint Chiefs have decided to look through all protocols see how all diagnostics work nothing is wrong I promise." The general soothed. "So we have nine days off?" Jack sounded excited now that he knew that nothing was wrong. "Yes colonel what do you have in mind?" George asked. "Yes sir what do you guys say to fishing at a cabin in Minnesota?" Jack asked. "Sounds good to me sir... Teal'c?" Sam asked. "I would enjoy a trip to Minnesota with you all O'Neill." The jaffa replied. Daniel raised a hand, "Um I hate to rain on your parade but I can't go." Jack's face took on a look of utmost stubbornness; he was prepared to pick the younger man up and carry him to Minnesota if he had to. "What why is that?" he asked trying to remain calm. "Because I already have plans Jack from a long time ago." The archaeologist replied. "Oh no you don't Danny you aren't getting out of… what do you mean you already have plans?" the colonel demanded. When the linguist threw a look to Hammond the general spoke up, "Dr. Jackson and eleven other men had requested for accumulated down time next time there was the chance. I gave it to them I can verify Dr. Jackson's story. So I'm afraid it'll be just the three of you." "Why don't we just come with you?" Sam asked. "Sorry Sam it's only the guys and I. we're going to be doing a video diary so you'll see what it is when we get back. It's a special vacation." "You are kidding me; you won't even tell me where you'll be going or what you'll be doing!" Jack exclaimed. "Jack its perfectly safe and they aren't even leaving the state not to mention the fact that the place their staying has a phone and the majority of the people have their cell phone with them. They'll be fi…" Hammond was interrupted at a knock on the door. "Come." He ordered he knew who it was and the general guessed Dr. Jackson did as well. Sure enough Lou Ferretti came in looking slightly hesitant. "Major Ferretti what can I do for you?" the general asked smiling to let the man know he wasn't in trouble. "Um sir I just came to see if the doc was ready to head out." "You're kidding me you're going on this trip?" Jack exclaimed. "Yeah Jack the group going found a common hobby even with the ol' doc here." Lou joked. "Doctor, Major I'm finished you can go. Have a good trip. Tell the others I expect a full report on this so called vacation. I'd like to know what this is all about. It is causing quite a stir around the grapevine." Hammond said. "If I may ask why do you want to know?" Daniel asked. "This sounds like the film opportunity I don't want to miss." Hammond told the archaeologist, making both men laugh. "It will be general, believe me. C'mon doc lets get packed." Lou said nudging Daniel. With a sloppy salute from the major and a slight wave from the linguist the two left, their voices heard as they went down the corridor, "Do you think that they'll figure it out?" "Nah hopefully the general, even though he doesn't know anything, can keep them off the trail for the nine days until we get back." Daniel returned.

"Sir may we at least say goodbye to them, and see whose going?" Jack asked almost pleading. "Sure Jack. SG-1 enjoy your time off see you in nine days." With a dismissal that could only be described as out of form for the military much less the general the team left.

The three members went into the parking garage after a search almost everywhere else resulted only in frustration. There they found a large group of guys loading up three vehicles: Ferrettis' Jeep, Daniel's Land Rover, and Davis' Land Cruiser. There were boxes everywhere and several of them were unmarked. Mixed in with those were boxes of food, bottled water, books, and toiletries. "Wow you guys are going prepared." Sam commented drawing the attention of the men around her, and stopping all packing. "Yeah well we are going to up in a cabin roughing it and needing soap." Daniel didn't say anymore as he got several glares but just shrugged. "Why would you need too many items with which to clean yourselves and your clothes DanielJackson?" the jaffa asked raising an eyebrow. "Well we'll be doing a lot of stuff working and the like." Lou said casually. "Foodstuffs and other supplies loaded, group C loaded!" Davis called out. "Check!" Elliot called back, "We're on channel 13." "Right!" Davis called back. "Group B packed amm and supplies also!" Lou reported out to the others. "Check!" everyone called earning a few laughs from the newer guys of the group. Daniel tossed one last bag onto the roof rack then loading a box into the trailer behind the jeep before calling in, "Group A loaded our main commodity loaded plus the rarer artifacts." The coding made everyone laugh including SG-1 even though they weren't in on the joke. "Alright we're all ready." "See you in nine days Jack." Daniel said before they loaded and took off.

Road

"So Davis you got anything for us to do for the seven hours we're on the road or do we get to die of boredom before we get there?" Welch asked. "Get on the radio see if one of the two goofballs has any ideas after all it's been their side of the radio which has been blaring with laughter." Davis replied grinning. So Welch got on the talkie and asked, "Lou you got any plans to keep us awake on the trip or you planning to be so dull we can't think straight for when the real fun begins?" "Nah I'll just let you be bored." "Ferretti!" Jones yelled into the mike, earning a chuckle over the radio, "Alright we've been doing 20 questions naming off planets and missions with them or races as the case may be. It's Coburn's turn now." Coburn thought a moment before the questions began. After two hours a pattern was noticed. The guys preferred to tell stories and choose missions that SG-1 had been on, but no one minded; they in fact seemed to be the hardest missions to guess not to mention the most interesting.

It eventually changed into telling stories and comparing the worst mission they had ever been on. It went without saying that SG-1 and 2 representatives took the awards on that for they had the oddest missions and usually the worst time of things.

"Alright so who's been filming for your car?" Lou asked over the radio as they pulled out of the lot from the drive thru.

"Turner has our camera what bout you doc?"

"At the moment Wells has ours but it's been switching hands all day." Daniel reported.

No one talked for awhile mouths full of food from the drive thru. But as soon as that was finished the stories began anew. Of course Daniel and Feretti had the best ones though a few of the other officers and recruits had some good ones as well, especially Elliot and Wells. It was fun and the time was passed quickly. No one realized how close they were until Lou spoke up calling over the radio, "We're almost there guys we just have another 25 minutes to go then we'll be there!" "Where are we?" Hindman asked scooting up so he could try and get his bearings. "Just on the border or Colorado, and this is only the driveway." Lou seemed ecstatic that they were finally there. Everyone was up and awake, some more easily than others, the others having to be woken by car-mates, and were staring at the vast amount of land, even and heavily wooded. "This is the best place for this. Should we start tonight or wait until we've slept some?" Jones asked. The others looked at him and even over the radio were heard saying, "Tomorrow." Jones grinned, no arguments.

The cars pulled up to the two story house and everyone piled out. It was a ranch style all logs and rustic looking. "Okay here's some rules, keep it clean, let's try not to leave too many paint tracks kay? Also we have bunk mates all planned out also any letters can be sent but no pictures yet. Finally someone will be constantly having a video camera, if not one then hopefully several will. Alright here's Doc" Davis turned the podium over to Daniel who didn't bother motioning for quiet as soon as he began speaking everyone quieted. "Okay its Lou, Wells, Turner, and myself in the blue room. Davis, Griff, Coburn, and Welch the yellow room. Marsh, Jones, Hindman, and Elliot the green room. Let's grab our bags only for now." So the group went in and found their respective rooms before unloading their bags and then re-meeting in the huge living room. The cabin was beautiful: a huge living room, large bedrooms with bunks, huge kitchen and patio along with a loft that doubled as a library and a roof top patio that could serve as their base of observations. "This place is great Lou." Wells told Ferretti. "I love it here, shall we bring in the equipment?" with grins and laughs they all pitched in to unload. The unmarked boxes were unloaded and the crates, along with the food and bottled water. Using the vast storage in the cabin they used it to stack all the stuff away. The crates and boxes were stored out on the patio in a container in case of rain or other bad weather. "Alright it's someone's turn to cook dinner, or a room of bunkmates can do it if they prefer." Davis remarked. "We volunteer." Elliot suggested. Daniel gave him a deadly look but the brave young man didn't back down and just smiled knowingly. Daniel sighed knowing exactly why Elliot had volunteered. "Okay so who of team B wants to participate?" Hindman asked. "Daniel and I are in definitely." "I'll help so will the rest of us it'll go faster." Wells said. "Alright so you get to show your stuff huh?" Daniel shot Lou a look to kill but the man just dodged and lead the others out into the living room while the group cooked.

Daniel and Elliot were excellent chefs, and had found out accidentally during an O'Neill barbecue. Of course Ferretti knew this as did a few of the others but the major in particular liked to flaunt his trump card. So they went to work. "Doc you notice the camera they put in here?" Turner asked nodding to the camera in the corner on the counter. "I noticed I'm choosing to ignore it." Daniel and Elliot both stated. They kept it up to find that the other two members were also good cooks.

"Alright dinner's ready!" Wells called, ringing the triangle that ironically hung in the kitchen. They set out plates, cups, and silverware before setting out the bowls and platters of food. The line was started and within minutes they were eating. They all agreed to take advantage of the huge porch and ate outside. Soon the conversation turned to strategic planning and boundaries.

"Okay the east border will be that fence line there." Coburn suggested pointing to the right. "Yeah and the West line can be that far tree line. That way we don't have to worry about running over it. We'll mark it with some glow lights along those trees." Griff agreed. "So the next boundary will be the field up to the refueling station, which is a safe zone. There will be two, one at the center of the yard the other somewhere in the woods." Welch suggested next. Everyone agreed. The final boundary will be that far off fence again it will be marked off by glow sticks, all of them will be." Jones reminded, again everyone nodded. "We'll start tomorrow late morning, around eleven. Let's hit the sack." Everyone had to admit that they were tired and the entire group retired to their rooms without complaint.

DAY 2 6:30 A.M.

Griff woke to the sounds of loud music playing from the downstairs. Turning over with a groan he tried to go back to sleep only to find the music kept getting progressively louder. He mumbled some threat about the person holding onto the radio losing a body part as he slowly rolled out of bed and stumbled into his clothes. Another voice distracted him as it muttered mutinously, "What the heck is that racket?" it was Jones, now also awake and not happy to be in the current state. "Let's find out and permanently incapacitate the radio shall we?" the two men, along with Welch who was disturbed by the loud racket of the other two men getting ready headed downstairs. The sight that greeted them was not the one they expected.

Daniel, Elliot, and Hindman were in the kitchen getting breakfast ready for the men who were still lazy and refused to crawl from their rooms. The radio was on loudly but Elliot turned it down saying, "that has to have waken at least a few of them wouldn't you agree?" Daniel grinned, "I'd say that this radio isn't going to be alive much longer once the group figures out where it's coming from." Hyndman turned and flipped a large number of pancakes onto a plate that Daniel held steady while Elliot was busy switching all the bacon and ham around in the pan. Welch nudged Griff who followed the man's gaze until it rested on the camera sitting on the counter out of the way red light indicating that it was indeed running. They had kept their word and were recording everything. Daniel made a comment that if the group didn't come down soon the food would be cold and have to be eaten by people who were awake and there. Elliot commented that the colonel will be asking Doc to cook everything from now on. With a groan the linguist replied that he wished Jack didn't have to see any of this but continued, "He'd kill me worse if he found out that I didn't let him watch this." The meal was almost finished done with smooth practice and ease as all three turned to set the table for the buffet. They stopped in surprise at the three men standing in the doorway watching with rapt attention. "Hey I told you the radio wouldn't last long" Daniel quipped. Hindman and Elliot took mock expressions of fear and exclaimed, "It was the radio it turned on by itself I had no part please spare us!" that was all it took for all six of them to break into laughter.

The others began to trickle in and soon breakfast was eaten. "Alright since you guys did food we'll do clean up." Lou volunteered indicating himself, Coburn, Marsh, and Wells who groaned good naturedly. The rest of them went to clean up; take showers, and get dressed for the first mission.

At exactly 1100 hours they all sat ready on the porch. Decked out in camouflage with face paint and gloves at the ready. "Okay everyone ready? Red team go ahead and get your weapons." Team A stood and went to the crates that had been sealed until now. Inside the crate, paintball guns, the other crates, ammo for them. Each man had brought their own if they owned it. Team B went next and then Team C. they loaded everything up and then packed up with extra ammo. "Alright everyone have their weapons? Doc you grabbed the baretta right?" "Got it." Daniel called. "Alright everyone move out this timer will ring once the game starts. Move it!" Lou ordered and set the timer on for 30 seconds. The teams spread out along the property not caring to see where the others were at the moment.

They crouched around in the woods loading all their weapons, double checking to see it wouldn't jam. Then all fell silent at the last few free seconds before the game began. Then the timer went off with a loud ring tone. "Ding!" and the game were set.

"Move out to the left we're going to come in right behind the nearest team if I'm not mistaken. Let's be quiet." Team B began the slow trek to the west at the same time A did. Daniel led B down to the west and kept it up until Wells motioned that he had seen something. Moments later so had the rest of the team. There was flickering of something in the shadows of the dappled sunlight. The movement was enough to warrant Daniel to signal the aim motion. Everyone moved to circle the unsuspecting group before their commander made the last motion then shouting, "Open fire!" the volley that struck Ferretti's team was perfect no one on the team had time to duck, they were coated within seconds. Finally A opened fire on them and both sides became coated, though B had some time to duck and prepare so they didn't have a full coat of paint. "Their over there hurry!" C came running and entered the clearing only to find themselves part of the ambush and coated with a new coat of lovely multi-colored paint. The conflict went on, the teams ducking for cover. B spread themselves out for a long horizontal range of targets. C and A were both struggling under the onslaught of the other teams but they finally made it to cover. The teams were spread out all over the forest clearing and the sharp reports kept going. Daniel emptied his rifle's clip and took out his Beretta. With a grin and a motion to his team he caught his teams eyes and motioned that he was going to move. 'A sniping I will go..' Daniel chuckled to himself as he snuck to the edge of the clearing and climbed a tree. He found his first target Ferretti and fired. Splat a perfect shot. Daniel got off many more rounds before he was finally found and shot at, which was when he retreated back to his team. Faintly a bell could be heard signaling the end of the first round. "All Clear!" Davis called. Everyone came out of hiding and made their way back to the porch, not going on because of how badly coated they were. Welch had grabbed the camera and was busily taping while the count was added up.

Each man had a different colored paint and the colors were different enough to be told apart. Davis and Jones were counting Marsh at the moment while the others were laughing and finding how much of their paint they could find. Welch was still filming as Daniel got a paintball broken over his head from Ferretti, Lou laughing that Daniel should have taken up sniping, he seemed to be a natural at it after all. They were content to sit on the grass and tell stories though Ferretti and Daniel seemed to be the talk of the first battle and when it was all tallied, the leaders of the competition. No one could begrudge that. "Alright who to get clean?" Hindman asked. At once everyone cheered. But no one expected the hose that Coburn and Wells brought out. Turning it on the wash became a water fight. After that everyone was exhausted and immediately shuffled into the house and collapsed into bed. Within moments not one man was awake.

Day 3 3:30 pm

"Alright there are three flags out there: a red one with an A on it, a blue one for B, and yellow for C. Now of course this can't be made easy for you so we added a bit of a twist." Welch grinned at the faces around him. He motioned to Wells who stood by him grinning. "Now to make life interesting we have three snipers out there. Of course each kill they make will score a point for their team and subtract one from the team they shot. The snipers are already out there waiting. And our snipers are: Daniel, Lou, and Davis." At the mention of those three names everyone either groaned or exchanged surprised looks: they knew what Davis and Ferretti could do, but Dr. Jackson? They had to be kidding. "now first of all every man hit is two points for your team, however any man shot by a sniper, they will be using blue paint, is one point off of your total score. Any hits made on the snipers are one half point back onto your score. Understand?" Welch asked. Everyone called out agreement. The now all too familiar timer bell went off, and the game began. They moved off in three different directions and slowly entered the woods, waiting. "So somewhere around here are three guys two of whom have military training going around trying to shoot at us." Turner

griped. Wells turned to him with a look of surprise, "what about Dr. J doesn't his experience outrank the other two?" "What do you mean?" Elliot asked. "Daniel was on a paintball team in early college was on the team for five years. They did very well, made it to the championships." Wells explained. "How do you know this as a fact?" Turner asked now also curious. At that Wells looked slightly sheepish. "Come on you have to tell us now." Elliot prodded. "Well I too was on a paintball team and we both would make it to the finals. We'd end up fighting against each other and while we won a few they became the holding league champions. They were really good. Daniel and I practiced once I got to the base and we reconnected since we had lost contact in the years between the suicide lecture and joining the program." "So he was on a team and we weren't told this!" Elliot exclaimed, "This is great we go up against two military guys and one who has been on a team for five years not to mention the fact that he could aim well to begin with!" Elliot's tirade was cut off as a warning shot came in their direction. They ducked just in time to miss getting plastered with a volley of two colored paintballs. "Both teams are out there! Return fire at will!" Turner ordered. The three teams were engaged in the battle until a new sound introduced itself. One quiet shot, a quick clip that warned no one, before moving onto a new subject, clicking again. Someone heard it then others did for the noise stopped as the firing died down when people realized that they had stepped into a trap of their own volitions. "Sniper!" someone shouted and the groups startled looking for their new enemy.

In the trees the three snipers watched closely as the three teams became involved in a battle. Daniel whistled quickly and sharply to the others and they nodded their agreement. With that they began to fire right into the midst of the battle. They slowly picked off one person than another until they combatants finally clued in and someone shouted, "Sniper!" then the three moved hitting targets as they did so and continued without almost no fear of retaliation. They were good at what they did. And after hitting almost every man at least once they slipped away into the shadows leaving the 'colorful' battle behind.

"Hold fire!" Hyndman shouted and all three teams stopped, calling a momentary truce while they tried to figure out what was going on. As soon as they did the chase began…

"Well that was an eventful day." Ferretti said grinning as he watched the men take off their 'ruined' outer jackets. "Aren't you a sorry mess." Lou jeered. One of them chucked his sodden hat at the major replying, "you're not exactly beauty queen yourself Lou." Marsh grinned. Daniel began to laugh as he pulled off his paint soaked bandanna and jacket. "Did someone get all that on camera?" the linguist asked. "I put up a couple of cameras in that area earlier, so we'll just have to splice the tapes together to get the whole battle." Coburn told him. "Well let's tally up the points." Griff advised, "before we all go in for a shower considering how absolutely coated we are." Lou, Welch, and Jones took over the counting and the tallies and then everyone was sprayed down again. "Is it me or is the water getting warmer?" Marsh asked. Everyone threw their soggy towels at him, each hitting their mark. Of course that had been caught on camera, and it made everyone laugh. Now soaking wet they trudged into the house where they collapsed onto the sofas and chairs. "So who's cooking dinner?" Davis asked. No one answered, making him look around only to find that most of them were asleep where they had collapsed. "Great I can't exactly do this on my own." Davis mumbled. The major startled when a door shut and then Daniel and Wells both emerged from their bedroom. Tousled and still drying they took in the scene with a grin. "So I guess it's up to us to cook dinner this time as well huh?" Daniel grinned.

Lou was the first to wake at the smell of good food. He followed his nose towards the kitchen from which the delicious smell was coming from. What met his eyes forced him to keep quiet. Wells, Davis, and Daniel had dinner all laid out on hot plates to keep it warm, but they hadn't set off the alarm. They lay on the floor of the rec room right outside the kitchen, a mat spread between them. Dice, little figures, and some playing chips spread out on the mat as they were involved in a strategy game Lou guessed they had created out of sheer boredom. Quietly he dished himself up some grub before entering the room and standing behind Daniel to watch. 'A bit like risk' the major decided looking at the setup and played the same way. "You know I'm all for cooking but being a default when everyone else falls asleep is another matter." Daniel scolded without looking up, startling the other man. "Sorry I'll go wake the rest up." Lou apologized, but Wells shrugged, "Let them smell the food if it doesn't wake them then they don't get to eat tonight." Lou managed an evil grin, "I know that's why I'm going to go eat my food out in the living room enjoying every bite until they wake up and get their lazy bums in action." That made the others laugh too as the major went about executing the plan he had just laid out.

Sure enough as the smells wafted around the room and permeated the air even more so than when it was cooking, the men who were formally dead to the world, awoke. Some more quickly than others, while some never stirred. Griff led the first group in comprised of himself, Hindman, and Elliot. Coburn and Turner came next and were the last to come in for the meal the rest never woke.

Day 5 1425 SMT

That day it was a free for all. There were no teams and everyone had their own color of paintballs. They had been given 15 seconds to hide themselves before the timer bell went off and the game began. No time outs, no safeties, and no snipers it was man against man and this was a critical point in the game to decide who would win the competition.

Creeping quietly through the underbrush Daniel heard a sound and silently, quickly climbed the nearest tree taking shelter in its thick leaves. Sure enough his instincts had been right on as Davis crept underneath him looking for any sign of a target. However he would never know that a bigger problem was on his hands. Daniel grinned and drew his slingshot. Taking careful aim he fired, fast enough that the ball burst on contact leaving no mark. Davis, while startled, was smart enough to know he was officially under attack and quickly moved for cover, unfortunately he didn't move fast enough to avoid a few more hits. Davis waited, but no shot came after he was under cover, that meant the shooter was no where near hasty, they had time and would use it well. Throwing a rock away from him received none of the wounds that he himself had received, meaning the opponent was also in a place to see everything. The realization struck, in the trees, he realized and then watching carefully, he fired.

The first mark went wide but Daniel knew it was about to turn into a good old fashioned firefight. He dropped to the ground and was struck across his left cheek. Wincing, the linguist ducked again and then positioning himself initiated the inevitable.

Davis grinned, his opponent was Daniel. Perfect. The two exchanged casual fire until one of them moved then it turned to an all out firefight. Both had many hits and were almost coated. Finally, once it seemed they would go on forever both stopped and called out a truce, at least long enough for one of them to get away to a new position. Then, all bets were off. The two separated and moved on their multi-colored ways.

Daniel met up with Wells, Elliot, and Ferretti a bit later when he stumbled upon their own three way firefight. Of course after being plastered himself he had no choice but to engage in the fight. Soon after many other also joined in the fight until the known bell tolled and the fire halted. Then they returned to the house and, as usual, hosed off so that they were at least semi clean before entering the cabin. Daniel and the others who had been cooking collapsed heavily onto the couch and were soon asleep. The others grinned at seeing them and said nothing, nor did anything to disturb them. Those left awake delegated between themselves who would be cooking and cleaning for that night letting the sleepers in peace and reprimanding whoever spoke loudly enough to even warrant a stirring.

"They're tired they have been cooking all week." Lou pointed out. No one argued there was that not to mention the three were the top players so far.

The three slept on until the familiar smells of food roused them and they entered the kitchen just before the dinner bell was rung. The food was good and with everyone so tired they ate in relative silence, a few conversations sparking up here and there but not many. They retired early that night hoping to get to sleep in.

Day 6 8:47 A.M.

Daniel woke the same time as Lou and they trekked down the hall into the living room to find almost half the people awake.

"Why didn't you wake me?" both men demanded.

"You fell asleep in the living room last night figured you needed the sleep besides we wanted a later start everyone was tired, that way we can have a bit shorter game, and retire early foe a good big dinner. We'll all help tonight kind of like a potluck." Turner told them. The two grinned their approval and soon enough everyone was awake for the game and ready to start.

"Alright the snipers today will be Griff, Jones, and Welch. The rest of you spread out now!" Turner called and everyone scattered. A few moments later a bell chimed and the snipers spread out through the woods as well. Everyone was silent as they positioned themselves hoping to make it through without getting too badly plastered. Then all thoughts and doubts were banished as the last chime went off signaling the start of the game.

Daniel was found by Welch, Wells, Elliot, and Turner and then others joined them in a full scale attack that lasted a long time and became very colorful as more and more people joined until it involved everyone. No one was safe and the colors joined to form a brownish multicolor hue that covered those head to toe. Finally the buzzer echoed through the woods and everything stopped. The group trekked back to the yard just outside the porch and marsh grabbed the hose spraying everyone down.

They had ended early, the game only lasting three hours and then everyone was concentrating on their food. Since there wasn't enough room for everyone to cook they decided to break into groups and help each other prepare the different meals.

They ate when the bell was rung and everyone had to admit that the food looked and smelled delicious. They dug in, buffet style and soon they had settled on the porch and in the grass below.

"Alright who has a story of SG-1?" Coburn asked.

Daniel protested and yet was overruled. So the stories began and they flew from all directions, some on missions others about the pranks pulled by Daniel and the Colonel against each other. The archaeologist had to admit that those pranks were funny and he had gotten the Colonel quite well. They told well into the night and were up until two in the morning when finally everyone collapsed where they sat in the living room.

Day 7

The day was started early by the group and they began to clean a little so that they would be able to pack the rest and be done quickly the next day. They had to leave the evening of the eighth day so that they could get back to the SGC early the ninth day, they did have to report and it would be a long one so they wanted to be sure to get it done early, after all they would be extremely tired. The cleaning went quickly they really hadn't made that much of a mess, and then they began the game again.

Afternoon 7th Day

Daniel couldn't help but grin. He had found the perfect hiding spot. Neither a sniper nor a bonus target but he was in the top three ratings, last he heard anyway. Hindman was keeping the leader board a tightly wrapped secret, the ratings to be announced the next afternoon after the final game. He wouldn't tell anyone but he could see at least three other people hiding in the same vicinity as the place where he sat. Of course he had gotten there first and moved silently so no one had seen nor heard hide or hair of him when they arrived. He could count them; Elliot was down the tree on the ground just southwest of him, behind a bush dressed in camouflage. Marsh was north of his spot hiding behind a log, looking up through a knothole that had been knocked out, quite a good place unless you were in a tree looking down. And of course Coburn who was just east of him, hiding down in a rock outcropping almost completely from view except for the birds' eye vantage point Daniel had. The snipers were out and about somewhere he just had to stay clear of them, though he was sure they would spot him, and most likely be the only ones who would be able to. The all too familiar buzzer echoed through the forest and Daniel decided to be the catalyst firing at the three nearest to him and completely plastering them without recoil except to each other for they couldn't find him. Daniel grinned and finally made his move revealing himself to his enemies only long enough to bolt to a new location. He was followed by shouts of, "there its Daniel get him!" that was Coburn, but Daniel had already vanished unfortunately only to walk into the middle of a huge battle involving everyone except the four that had been elsewhere. Daniel having walked right into it was plastered by everyone and just managed to dive for cover. That move was met with laughter from all sides including Daniel himself. They couldn't wait until they showed this to the General. There was no point in him want to be debriefed; in fact the men guessed he just wanted to see what they did since they hadn't given even the General all the details. Of course some of them guessed that the CO was hoping to catch up on the morale of some of the more important people in the SGC. Not to mention that he liked to see what his people were interested in doing.

The men Daniel had plastered came in right behind him and within seconds had also been changed from camouflage to a rainbow of colors before diving for cover themselves. Another round of laughter and the fighting went on.

Daniel peeked out from his newest perch, behind a thick log, and fired a few rounds in a random direction and smiled as a round of muttered curses were let loose when his pellets found their marks. The archaeologist ducked just in time, earning a few more marks as well from his targets. They were tired but no one would surrender, it was an extra long game, the last one of the trip. Daniel fired a few shots again laughing as a voice rang out with a cry of, "Daniel for crying out loud!" the linguist grinned, and that was Lou. Finally the buzzer went off and everyone cheered hurrying off to get hosed off before it got dark. As they made their way out of the forest it began to rain, making them hurry faster. Ferretti took command of the garden hose and quickly but efficiently got everyone clean. Within fifteen minutes they were bundled up in blankets and perched in different positions in the living room nursing mugs of hot cocoa and coffee.

"It's certainly been a fun week. This has to be a tradition." Hindman spoke up.

"I definitely agree with him, this has been great." Welch agreed.

"I can't wait until Jack hears about your little hobby; he'll never believe you were on a team in college." Lou grinned.

"That alone will be worth the trip. Doc you are a man of many talents." Elliot laughed.

"He thought you didn't have a life, sheesh!" Marsh chuckled. Daniel remarked, "He doesn't know half the stuff I used to do in college."

That comment brought on a whole new round of stories, Daniel being the teller.

"C'mon Daniel you have to tell us!" Turner pleaded. Finally the linguist gave in and began, "I was a freshman in college. My friend and I were doing a paper on fighting styles and to make it have concrete evidence we joined a sword fighting/ martial arts class. Eventually we became totally enthralled with it and…" his stories lasted well into the night.

Day Eight late morning

No one woke at the usual early time, everyone was too exhausted to wake before nine A.M. and that is precisely the time at which they woke. The first wave stumbled into the kitchen and took their plates from the piles. The usual cooks had been allowed to sleep again and it was left to Griff, Jones, and Hindman to cook breakfast. Daniel smiled his thanks it was too early to be articulate and so he just grabbed his food and coffee and snatched a spot in the living room. He was joined by the others and they ate in silence still too tired to say anything, content to shovel food into their mouths. Only when they were finished were they awake enough to begin chatting and then the group became loud and boisterous as they talked and packed up their things. It took longer they found as they had to go through each and every gun cleaning it so it wouldn't go off unexpectedly and they had to pack, very carefully, the left over ammunition which was less than half a box. They didn't want the paintballs exploding in the cars. A few started a massive wash exodus and they rinsed the clothes, dried, then folded and separated the men's clothing. They separated into groups, some working with the weapons and others with the clothes, one group was fixing lunches while another was working on cleaning the house.

They were finished in the last dredges of evening, and were quick to pack up. They had fewer supplies by half and the jobs were done soon. That taken care of the checklists were run down and then they took off.

Day Nine Morning

The drivers had been switched and they were already four hours underway. They had left at almost one thirty and traffic was slow. The drive was silent and most of the passengers were asleep including Daniel and Lou. The film crew did a few quick shots but out of a vote they did nothing to those asleep, for risk of bodily harm and life and limb. Every two hours they switched to let the men get as much sleep as they could, obviously they didn't want to fall asleep in the middle of debriefing with Hammond.

"Daniel, Doc you hear me?" the linguist woke to the sound of someone holding a radio right next to his ear. Opening his eyes he looked into the apologetic face of Wells.

"Sorry were getting close figured you'd like the last hour and a half to wake up and get everyone else up."

Daniel nodded and he pulled over, the other two cars following close behind and the drivers switched out again. He turned on the radio and over it asked quietly, "Lou how far we got to go?"

"Just over an hour and a half Doc we'll get there soon and hopefully the Debrief won't take too terribly long. I want nothing more than to go home and sleep."

Daniel agreed silently with the man and then as they got under way again he turned up the volume and shouted over the radio a warm wake up call.

"UP and At 'Em We are exactly One Hour and Thirty minutes away from the Base and will Soon be Arriving! So WE Need you to WAKE UP!" the linguist heard all the groans and complaints that came from his announcement but they were good natured and some jokes began from it. Elliot had gotten it on tape and everyone laughed at what the General would think about it.

The last bit of time passed quickly for the group and soon they found themselves driving past the Cheyenne Mountain Base gates and stopped at the security gates.

"Doctor Jackson, it's good to see you guys back the rumors have come up with some interesting stories. But of course most are wild enough no one believes them." The guard laughed earning a smile. The cars checked in and went past it entering the parking garage. The men slowly got out still tired from their trip and entered the base, going through still more security checks. They finally made it past all the checks and down past level eleven. They went further down, the cool air waking them enough to initiate jokes and laughter from the large group. They were still laughing when they finally made it to level 28. They entered the Control Room and Hammond came down out of his office and smiled at the group.

"You made it back. Come to the Briefing Room I'd like to hear how some of our top people unwind. Not to mention that I am curious. Do you mind?"

"Sir its fine with us we had a good time and you would be impressed to know that our aim has not been hindered. We wouldn't mind starting our own team after this but it's unlikely, after all this is just a hobby according to the Doc." Lou grinned.

They entered the Briefing Room and settled down. The tape player was already there and it was started as soon as everyone was either sitting or standing out of the way.

They started the video and it didn't take long for the laughter to start. The video was long since it covered all nine days, and everything in those nine days from the incident in the kitchen to the aftermath of the battles. Everyone was enjoying the video, too much so to notice the three people who stepped into the room only a few minutes after it was started. There were jokes that now being said aloud caused all the more laughter. Finally the tape was finished and the lights were turned back on. No had time to comment since a unexpected voice spoke up first, "so this is what happens when I loan my archaeologist out for a nice relaxing vacation come to find out he's with friends shooting each other." Daniel and the group just laughed knowing the colonel was too surprised to say anything else.

"Alright it's good to see you were enjoying yourselves, now I have to ask two things: how was your aim, and who won?" Hammond asked.

"Actually we waited until the meeting to do this proper." Wells told them. He Ferretti, and Griff stood.

"The third place winner on the point's board was… Hindman." The man stood and received his medal, a brass circle with a gun etched onto it. A bright orange paintball was popped over his head staining his hair. Of course Hindman just laughed playing along with it. "Second place was Ferretti!" he got a silver medal and a bright green paintball popped over his head. "Finally the winner our very own Doc J!" Daniel laughed and received the gold, and had a bright pink paintball broken over his head, done by Ferretti, both laughing uproariously. "We also have another award it goes to two of our men who have no sense of self-preservation. We can only pray they learn how to duck before going back out to the field. Would Dr. J and Elliot please come forward?" They each stood and laughing Hyndman explained, "these are the purple target awards may they learn to duck before they become a permanent part of the galaxy they help to explore." The medals were copper circles with purple enamel in a target shape, at the bottom a small plate that said, 'hit me' the entire group laughed.

Hammond finally spoke up, "Thank you gentlemen I am assuming that your aim was exceptional as always, and it is safe to assume that this will be a regular occurrence?"

"Well sir not only is it relaxing but it helps keep us sharp. Of course we were discussing the idea of taking recruits off world and training them this way, adding of course jaffa and a goa'uld but the same principle." Ferretti joked.

"I wouldn't turn you on even our most hardened recruits, but I'll be sure to remember this as an alternative to down time. Now dismissed."

The group left the Briefing Room and parked down in the Commissary. By then the new had begun to spread and everyone knew it so the stories kept coming, SG-1 getting into the act. Yes it was a memorable week and no one would be quick to forget it SG-1 least of all. Daniel could just hear the teasing coming and groaned silently. 'Oh well' he thought, 'at least I won't have to hear anything else about my aim.' With a grin he turned back to the stories.

FIN

Author's Notes: I would love to hear feedback on this story comments are welcome, constructive criticism is always appreciated but please no flames! Well until I see you again read on and don't forget to hit the little purple button on the left before you leave!