Disclaimer: I do not own the Shark Tale characters; DreamWorks does. I do own the made up characters though.

Author's Note: Hey. I decided to take a whack at a second story and a Shark Tale fic, though I might be making another one… R&R please! By the way, this is narrated by Don Lino.

Lesson One: Do Not Act Stupid

Hey. Don Lino here. I'm giving lessons on how to be a don, though I don't know why you're here, you can't become a don. Anyway, before we get started, there are a couple of things I have to say. I'm the one in charge here, so yous gots to listen to me, and no interruptin', capice? Alright. Let's get this lesson on the road, shall we?

Today's Lesson: Don't Act Smart

Where do I begin? I've seen so many people die from lack of common sense. Clearly they never heard this lesson. Don Cicinaega's nephew nearly died from this, Don Gale died from this, and my great, great, great grandfather was alive when Don Viccini died from this. There's a moral to all their stories, and I cannot stress this enough: If you're in a war, you're losing, and the other captain invites you to his tent, don't act smart! You wanna know why Don Viccini died? He decided to go to the other captain's tent and act like he was a macho man and he was going to beat him! It even says how their conversation went in books:

Frances (The other captain): Would you like to say anything first?

Viccini: Yeah, just that I'm gonna beat you and your troops!

Frances: What?

Viccini: (Takes sip of wine) Yeah, oh c'mon, we all know why you invited me here. You wanted to beg me for mercy. I don't blame ya' though. Me and my troops are pretty tough.

Frances: (Mouth foaming with fury)

Viccini: Well you know what, go ahead and beg for mercy. But I'm not eating this cheap food! This is nasty! And besides, that's probably why your mouth is foaming.

Frances: (Mouth foaming and eyes watering in fury)

Viccini: Oh, now you're cryin'? Well I always did think you were a wimp. But don't worry, I'll go soft on ya'… if I feel like it. You couldn't hurt me, especially not with these. (Shows Frances his muscles)

Frances: What the… Guards!

You know what happened after that? Guess. If you said that Viccini got a jumbo can of whup ass unleashed on him, then you're right. I always thought that Viccini was smart as a pup, he was quite famous in his time, but then I heard this.

Now Don Gale… he's another story. It's a good thing he's dead, or else I would've killed him. Whether he was known as a crackpot or not, he should've at least had a lick of common sense. Would you believe this? He actually went up to the West side reef boss, who he was feuding with at the time, talked bad about him in his face, and when Don Haradouli (The West side reef boss) didn't shoot him and just politely asked him to leave, he mooned him. Guess what? He was found dead the next morning. It was a good thing my great grandfather was smarter than his pop, because if he wasn't, then my family business would've been over. Yes, he was my great, great grandfather, and I'm sorry he was. He should've known better than to mess with a Killer Whale anyway. They may be tame in 'Sea World,' but out in the ocean… they're killers. Why else do you think they have the word 'killer' in their name? Here's something you need to know, and I hope you listen to this: Forget 'Free Willy.' A mafia Killer Whale will hurt you. They do not play around; trust me, I know this. I was in a fight with one of them when I was 14; nobody won, and I was okay, but I won't forget that uppercut I got.

Now, this brings us to our last tale. Don Cicinaega's nephew. Don Cicinaega is currently the West side reef boss, and I was sad to hear that his nephew nearly died; he was very comforting at Frankie's funeral. He was smart too… he showed promising signs of strategy and problem solving at six, but the only problem he had was the one that landed him in the hospital; his temper.

The story goes like this, Sal, Don Cicinaega's nephew, was messing with a Sand Tiger shark. Before I continue, I would like to say this: I do not care if a Sand Tiger shark calls your mama a name, I do not care if a Sand Tiger shark calls you a name, heck, I don't care if a Sand Tiger shark makes fun of the shape of your head! DO NOT MESS WITH THEM! You should be able to ignore name calling! It's worse in Sal's case, because he was the one who started the fight! He was calling the Sand Tiger shark a name, when suddenly, the Sand Tiger dude turned around and ripped him up. Sal didn't die because the Sand Tiger guy was only 13 years old; only a teenager. But had he been a full grown adult… bye bye Sal.

Sal was found by doctors and a very upset uncle an hour later. He doesn't look ugly, luckily due to the miracle of surgery, they were able to patch him up. But they couldn't erase one sign that he had been in a fight, a red scar above where his gills are. Now, Sand Tigers are different from Tiger sharks; they're more vicious. They start killing before they leave their mother's womb, and then eat the victims they killed. So you see why you shouldn't mess with them. But, if you feel like getting yourself ripped to shreds, be my guest.

Well, that ends today's lesson. But don't think that's all; you need to know more than this to become a (smart) don.

Well that's it. Sorry if it wasn't very funny, the humor will pick up soon. Well, what do you think? Is it good so far? R&R please. And now it's time for…

Reviewer's choice!

What do you think the next topic should be?

A: Do not call every killer whale you see 'Free Willy'

OR

B: Do not start stupid wars.

The most popular choice will be in the next chapter!