A Psychiatric Nurse by the name of Radiant Smile gave me a notebook and told me to write down "my story". At first I told her I didn't need a diary because I wasn't a little bitch, but the asylum is so boring that writing could be a pretty effective hobby to pass the time.
I guess i'll go ahead and get the basics out of the way. My name is Samuel Rup. I grew up in Watertown (Not the best name for a town, I know), South Dakota. I was eighteen and freshly graduated from high school. My family was pretty average, nothing special to really talk about. I also used to have a cat named Mittens who was a real asshole.
That basically sums up my life before coming to Equestria. My life was simple, and that was just the way I liked it. I didn't have to worry about pony nurse's and psychological testing. I also miss my body. I used to be Human but now i'm stuck in a ponies body. The fact that I can say that like its normal shows just how much this land of gumdrops and sunshine has fucked with my head. But hey, Having a fucked up head is actually the reason i'm in this mess (at least according to these fanatic ponies).
This might sound confusing to you so i'll go ahead and tell you the story of how I got locked away in this nuthouse. It all started three years ago while I was making toast.
3 years ago, motherfucker!
"How the hell do you work this thing!" I shouted as I attempted to figure out the advanced mechanism known as a toaster.
"Language, Samuel!" My Mother shouted as she prepared breakfast.
"Seriously, Where did you get this hunk of junk?" I asked as I gave the toaster a light slap on its side.
"From a garage sale, down in Brookings." My Mom said with a huff. "And i'll have you know, that is a fairly new brand of toaster."
I opened my mouth to tell her that it was I new brand of crap, but before I could a low whisper interrupted my train of thought.
"Honey, are you okay?"
"What was that?" I asked as I stared around the kitchen fearfully.
"What was what?" My mother asked as she stared at me with a look of confusion.
"That whisper." I said as I opened the fridge expecting to find a midget crouched in there whispering. There was no midget. "Did you not hear it?"
"I can't say I did." My Mother said with a deadpan look on her face. "Is this another one of your stupid pranks?"
"I told you, I would stop pulling pranks after the whole microwave incident." I said with a roll of my eyes. "Which was totally not my fault by the way. How was I supposed to know that-."
"Honey, how do you like your salad?"
"There's that voice again!" I exclaim as I whip my head around towards the counter. "Its coming from over there!"
"Sammie, this isn't very funny." My Mother says as she scowled. "Cut it out."
"I'm not kidding." I say as I search the drawers under the counter. But there was nothing but canned food.
"Are we on some prank show or something?" I groan in annoyance as I close the drawers. "I don't think we are famous enough to get Punk'd."
"You don't look so good."
"I-its coming from the toaster!" I shout in amazement as I point at the fabled electric chair for bread.
"S-stop it Sammie." My Mom stutterers as she stares at me with a look of fear in her eyes. The bacon that she was cooking had started to burn, but she either didn't notice or just didn't care…..maybe both.
"Is there a microphone inside of it?" I wondered as I stuck my face above the toaster and looked down into the inner mechanisms.
"S-Samuel, quit with t-these games this instance!" My Mother shouted as she stepped toward me, getting ready to grab my hand. "I'm going to call your f-father if you-"
There was a flash of blinding blue light and everything went quiet. That was the last time I saw my mother, and the last time I ever sat foot on earth.
Moral of the story, never trust a toaster.
But sadly, that's not where the story ends. It's where it begins.