"Kinky Bella & The Shrubbery"

Authors' Note: This could be considered an outtake for my (voldemortperfumes) story, "The Adventures of Alice In Smutland." Me and Pancake (TheOnlyPancake) were having a convo the other night, and this drabble just... developed as we talked back and forth. I blame the caffeine xD.


One bright morning here in the land of wonder, a young little Dormouse frolicked about the forest near the tea table, for she had grown more tired than usual of waiting for the March Hare to finish his bottomless cup of tea with the Hatter.

She had intended to return soon, but then something caught her eye. The Dormouse halted in her skip and gasped in delight.

She pranced over to it, and stroked the shrubbery, "Oh Mr. Shrubbery, you're so leafy... and green!"

Her hand slowly trailed up the base of the shrubbery, and her eyes glinted with repressed memories. She growls to herself and for the birds that are curiously watching her, "You're so thick!"

Images of more innocent days, when she was just a wee little Dormouse came to mind. A sweet, untainted flower being poked by a leafy stem. A more adventurous encounter with a batch of seaweed slowly, sinuously twisting up her leg, tickling her inner thigh... oh yes, Bella thought, shivering... her and plants went way back.

Why, she could even recall the very first time her pup-aged garden was seeded. Oh, what a day it was! Forever the roots of that shrub would remain firmly and deeply planted in her head.

What, you want the story? Ah, fine.

The sun was shining brightly as the gentle mouse made her way from the burrow to the stream. As she neared the waters, the wind blew and rattled a shrubbery near the bank. Such a large and pretty shrubbery it was.

It was just so... majestic. Tempting. God, how she wanted that shrubbery. It just oozed sex appeal, it made her get wet just thinking about its verdant tendrils mingling with the chocolate-brown curls of her own garden, their bodies dancing a perfect horizontal ruesa de casino, spinning and out repeatedly, their frantic motions set off by sweaty exertion, all for a little base pleasure.

Oh yes, that shrubbery was what she wanted. And it was practically staring at her. It wanted this just as much as she did.

She stumbled a few timid steps forward, not bold enough to approach the beautiful creature. However, it wiggled its beautiful green leaves at her like a finger beckoning her forward. She held her breath and darted over to the shrubbery. She was intoxicated by its thick, earthy scent. She leaned forward and planted a sweet kiss atop its head.

So sweet. So tasty!

As she moved to stand upright once again, Mr. Shrubbery firmly grabbed her sleeve in his long, nimble fingers. A blush stained her pale little cheeks, but it was all a mask to cover the raging flame that had ignited within her loins.

The familiar, almost electric feeling jolted her core, and Mr. Shrubbery's leaves swayed gently in the light breeze as if to say, don't go.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed. "I must go; they're expecting me at tea." She then went on to explain about her dear friends the March Hare and the Mad Hatter. Both were quite mad on account of the tea, but Bella loved the tea as well. She only hoped it didn't have the same effect on her….

The shrubbery swayed sadly, as if in goodbye. She felt the beginnings of tears pricking at her eyes, but she managed to hold it in. Sighing deeply, she forced herself to get skipping again, as she made her way back to the glen where the tea party was being held.

Along the way, she heard a shrill whistling, and was momentarily distracted, stopping where she was. From out of the trees stepped a tawny-haired boy with a tail and ears, and she recognized him immediately. Bella smiled in spite of losing time with Mr. Shrubbery, and her unresolved sexual tension. Nothing else would work, but Cheshire Cats were acceptable in the event that the shrubberies were not present….


Review? Whether you love it, hate it, are a little disgusted, or even laughed your butt off at it, we would love some reviews.

Signing off,

voldemortperfumes & TheOnlyPancake