Disclaimer: Since I'm supposed to be honest, I guess I say that Fruits basket is in no way my own creation. So, sadly, I don't on any of the characters. But if you steal -any- of my plot ideas, I will be thuroughly vexed. You don't want to see me when I'm vexed.
Pairings: Momiji/Hatori. Yes, Hatori -is- almost twice Momiji's age. Thank you for pointing out the obvious. If you don't approve, than don't read. It's that simple.
Warnings: There's swearing, audult situations and... whatever else I feel like putting in here. The rating is around nc-17 to R.
Other Warnings: Well... The characters might act a little different then they do in the anime. One, I completely changed momiji and... Well... I don't know about Hatori...
Summary: When Momiji has his mind set on leaving, what happens to his plans when an unexpected visitor knocks on his door?
I got my final college acceptence letter three months ago. They're offering a full-expense scholarship. Guess where the school is? 'Bet you can't. It's in England. I haven't told anyone yet. I don't know if I want to tell anyone. I applied in secret, so why shouldn't I keep it a secret. This could be my chance to get out, to finally free myself from the zodiac curse that constantly looms overhead, if but only a little.
Something happened over these past few years. I've grown up. I've matured. I see the world around me in a brand new light. I've changed. Ever since then, that fateful night in May almost a year ago, I haven't been the same. I'll never be the same.
The air had been warm, mocking. I remember hearing the shoji slide open and seeing Hatori standing in the doorway, the red-orange hue of the setting sun outlining his body with the wind chime sounding in the background. Then he had stepped inside, walked towards me, towards us. I remember jumping up and yelling, screaming for him to get out. I remember running at him, not able to think clearly. But what I remember most is his face, his eyes, when I hit him They're haunting, even now in the recesses of my memory, completely void of any emotion. No pain, no anger, no nothing. But I know what I felt. What I feel. Hate. Loath. Disgust. Betrayal. And something so outrageous I'm beginning to hate myself.
How could he do this to me, to her, to us? After he knows how it feels to wake up every day feeling alone and dead? How could he obey Akito and erase her memory, destroy everything we shared? We were so close, we shared something special. She was something special. I wasn't in love with Mio, but I was in hope with her. And he took all of that away. I can't, I won't forgive him. Ever.
I'm going to go. I'm going to leave. There's no one, nothing, that I'll miss. Well, maybe just a little. But I can bare it. I will bare it. I'm going to have to if I'm going to go through with this. And I am. I can't live here any longer. I already left the House of Sohma and took up residence in one of my father's hotel rooms. Now it's time I left Japan, too.
No one can know until I'm already there, situated, and happy. That way, I can't be stopped. They will be too late. And if my father doesn't accept it and won't help pay, Kami knows he has money to spare, then I can always get a job to pay for food and whatever else I need myself. Part of the scholarship letter states that the first year dorm fee is covered. I'm glad I'm a good student. Actually, I guess this mean's I'm more than 'good'. I'm great. I've never really thought, or cared, much about it. Academics just sort of come easily to me. Plus, I could always get help from Hator-… Get help if I needed it.
I'm packed. My hotel room is almost completely empty. Everything's crammed in a suitcase or a box; some of it has already been shipped there. I'm scheduled to leave the day after Valentine's day. Tomorrow. My stomach is a satchel of nerves. I feel like my innards are twisted in knots. My head won't stop pounding, even after I downed a glass of water and some aspirin.
I slowly unbutton my shirt and let it slide off my shoulders to join my pants in a heap on the floor. Just as I burrow under the bedcovers and lie my head on the pillow, there's a knock on the door. Whoever's there doesn't hesitate, doesn't stop at all. They just keep banging and banging like it's the end of the world.
"All right. All right!" I grumble, throwing the comforter angrily away from me, letting all the collected heat escape. "I'm coming!"
The person stops knocking, making me pause and think about seeing who it is visiting me at eleven at night. Sighing, I flip the deadbolt and throw open the door to see– I slam it shut and walk back to bed. I flop down, smothering myself with a pillow. Kami, if you are really a god, kill me now!
The door opens and closes, the lock sliding into place. I hear footsteps coming towards me, but I ignore them. It's not until my pillow is so rudely pulled away from my face that I retaliate, glaring.
"Go away!" My command comes out half-hearted and ineffective.
"We need to talk."
"There's nothing to talk about Hatori."
"Like hell there's not," He nearly growls, surprising me. " Why don't you clue me in on why you applied to college in England?"
I shake my head, still refusing to look at him. How the hell does he know about it? Then it hit me. The maids. They're stupid, fucking spies for Daddy Dearest. I should have known.
"Damn it, Momiji!" He's angry. He never gets angry. "Look. At. Me."
I sit up and get out of bed to stand before him. I still have to look up, but I've grown. I'm not the short little effeminate boy that I used to be. Okay, so I'm still effeminate, but I'm not that short and I don't wear dresses or skirts any more.
"Are you happy now?" I scream at him, having no consideration for my neighbors.
"No," He says quietly, misery flashing across his eyes. "I'm not."
I don't know what comes over me. Something in my chest clenches painfully. I snap, loose control. I lunge forward, desperately molding our lips together, a strong sense of starvation about me. What the fuck am I doing? I'm not breathing. I can't think. So I don't. My eyes flutter shut, my body collapsing against him with a hearty groan, finally giving myself over.
It seems only mere seconds pass before I push him forcefully away, coming back to my senses. My proper senses. I glare hatefully at him, as if what happened was all his fault (and it was!), flushed face and all. I bite back the urge to press my fingers against my lips that just wont stop tingling. I've been betrayed by my own body.
"M- Momiji, what-" Hatori begins unsteadily, before I cut him off.
"Go to Hell." My chest heaves in heavy convulsions, tears beginning to streak down my face.
Why am I acting like this? Why am I feeling like this? I shouldn't be feeling what I am. I can't be. I won't! I refuse! But my eyes continue to leak. As hard as I might, they still pour like water faucets. It's annoying. It's frustrating. It's embarrassing. Arms ghost over my shoulders and down my sides, strong hands applying pressure to my lower back as Hatori pulls me to him. At first I'm paralyzed, not able to do anything but move to him. Then realization slaps me in the face. What a wake up call.
"Stop-it!" I scream, blindly pulling away and putting a much needed distance between us.
"Momiji, I don't understand you!" Why is his voice cracking? " Tell me why you're like this. What's wrong?" His voice fades into a whisper.
"What's wrong? What's wrong!" Oh, I'll tell you what's wrong… " You. You are what's wrong, Hatori. You, who was so kind to me; You, who cared of me; You, who comforted me when no one else noticed. Then you had to... Then you had to do that to her. And I- I'm stuck feeling this when I should be feeling something completely different.
"Do you know how it feels to– Never mind." I bite my tongue. I've already said too much.
Somehow he managed to move close to me again while I was talking. "Tell me."
"I can't." I speak softly, looking away from him. There's something -really- interesting about my walls that I've never noticed before.
"Miji," He coos softly, his mouth millimeters from my ear, sending shivers up and down my already shaking body.
A hand gently pulls my chin so that I'll face him, his thumb rubbing up and down my jaw line. I feel so weak. My eyes flutter shut as he whispers for me to tell him, his lips brushing against my earlobe. I can't help but give in.
"It pains me every time you don't look at me," I take in a long, shaky breath, preparing to continue. "I die when you walk away. I can't bare to have you not with me, can't bare to have you stay... And I…"
My lips quiver, my knees wobbly like jell-o. "And I…"
I keep my eyes closed, unable to face the look that's sure to be on his face. Disgust. "… Don't know why…"
The sound of his breathing fills the silence. It's slightly erratic. He must be furious...
"… I feel… this…"
My stomach hurts. I think I'm going to throw up…
"…way…"
"Momiji?" Someone gently calls from far away. "Miji, wake up."
A hand brushes stray locks of hair out of my face. My eyes slowly open and re-focus, staring straight ahead at the textured ceiling.
"What... What happened?" My voice sounds foreign, even to my ears.
Hatori breathes in unsubtle relief. "You're okay."
My surroundings sluggishly begin to dawn on me. I'm still in the hotel room, lying on the bed and propped up against something warm. There's a slight pressure around my waist, but not unwelcome. And I'm still only in my boxers.
My eyes widen noticeably, chest rising and falling quickly. He's… Hatori's… holding me? Why? I struggle to pull out of his arms, but his grip on me only tightens.
"Don't," He orders and I stop struggling, relaxing back against his chest. "You scared me when you passed out."
I passed out? I'm that weak that I –
"You were running a fever," Hatori cuts off my thoughts by continuing to talk to me. " I let you sleep it off. It's two in the morning now."
I was asleep for three hours? Three hours? Has he been holding me the whole time? Waves of pleasure course through my veins. I want to hate him. I should hate him. But I can't. So I'll make myself leave, send the hate inward.
I watched as he leaned forward slowly until I could see only his beautifully dark eyes. Until I felt his lips upon my own.
The kiss was soft, gentle, passionate. Our eyes stayed locked through it, never closing. The kiss was slow, not progressing to anything more as we stood there in my hotel room, bodies molding together. I felt confused. I thought he had rejected me. Shunned me. So why was he now kissing me? Many thoughts floated dangerously around my mind.
Hatori. Why are you doing this? Why are your lips against mine? I feel your body molding to me, your arms snaking around my neck. There's little space between us. Your lips are becoming more demanding. Parting and shaping and pressing against my own.
Then I'm gone, baking away much like before. My eyes are wide and frightened. What is going on? I studied his face as I quickly stepped farther and farther from him. I missed his warmth. His body. His swollen lips. How I wished to feel them upon me again.
" I didn't…I'm sorry…I…" The words float from my mouth. " I never meant…I'm sorry…"
I kept walking away from him. Backing towards the door. All he could do was stand there, watching me leave. Hatori, I do not understand. How do you feel, how do I feel, about you and me? Do you think you have done wrong? Do you regret kissing me? Do you feel as I feel? Confused. Are you wondering as I wonder? What I wouldn't give to understand. My dear, sweet Hatori…I want to understand… I want you to understand.
I turn quickly to get to the door faster. He still stood there, planted. I no longer feel like my mind is trying to walk through quicksand. I've given up. Now I'm just drowning. In the pain, the hurt, the rejection. But can I say this? Really? He kissed me. I was the one who always pulls away.
I frantically tried to unlock the door, to turn the bolt. But it wouldn't move. My hands are quivering and I just can't grasp it. I begin to cry again, not even able to see the damn thing any more. Hatori pushed one leg forward and then the other. Just as I managed to throw the door open, he slammed it back shut, arm reaching over my shoulder.
"Planning to fleeing from your own room?" He mocked in a caring voice.
My shoulders slumped forward; face downcast, but I turned towards him, sniffling.
"I'm sorry. I-."
"Stop," He just had to interrupt. "What are you sorry for?"
I tried to be calm. Not only for me, but for him. He was really worked up. I'd never seen him like this.
"I was about to tell you if you'd just listen!" Breathe, Momiji, breathe. "I kissed you…I touched you…I'm sorry…" My voice was shaky, cracking half way through and barely audible. But he had heard. All of it.
"Can I ask you something?" He asked softly.
He didn't want me to try and leave again. He took things slow. I nodded and could tell that it pleased him.
"Are you gay?" My eyes shot up to his face, stunned. That was blunt.
I stared up at him. My mouth opened and for a moment I feared that I wouldn't be able to speak. But then the words came, quietly, hesitantly.
"If… if you must know," I swallowed hard. "Bisexual would be the proper word."
"Are you mad at me?" I gave me a questioning look.
"No. I wanted to hate you, but I can't. Akito, yes, but never you."
"Then why didn't you talk to me?" He asked quickly, maybe accusingly.
"I…I was hurt…I had…a lot on my mind…" My words trailed off for a moment of silence. "I'm sorry…"
"Shut up."
"W-what?" I asked, incredulous.
" I said, shut up." He smirked at me, which was a rare and devious thing for Hatori.
"You–" He cut me off.
I have no idea what I was about to call him and I know I'll never remember. You see, he did something that made me completely forget that insignificant train of thought. It's not important, anyway.
He pressed his lips to mine. It feel so good; unexplainable. His arms snaked around my waist, pulling my lithe torso against his. A soft whimper parted my lips as I melted in his embrace. There was heat this time, more passion. I guess that's because he knew what he was doing, positive that this was right. I sure as hell had no idea what I was doing. And then, to my hidden disappointment, the need for air pulled him from me.
I was breathing quickly, panting for air. I could see that he was happy to do that to me by the slight upturn of his mouth. An over familiar bubbly sensation returned to me, the sensation I got when I was around him. I felt like smiling, but held it back by sniffling.
" You… You kissed me?" I asked, unsure of whether or not it was real. It made him laugh. Something he hadn't done in a long time.
"Yes I kissed you, idiot!" He managed to say calmly after his gasps of laughter.
I just stood there. Being naïve. Confused. He was laughing? Hatori never laughed…
"But… Why?" I asked him crisply, preparing myself for the worst.
"Why? Why did I kiss you?" Hatori asked, incredulous. " Momiji, why does anyone kiss?"
"But you can't… You're not gay…"
"You're right, I'm not gay. I'm bi." He smiled at the dumbfounded look on my face. How could he not? My wide golden eyes were so wide and puffy, eyelashes soaked with tears, that I'd probably be carted off to an insane asylum if I saw myself in the mirror. Well, not really, but that's not the point. I just look damn funny.
"You're bi? Bi? I never thought… When did– " He cut me off again.
"I've always been this way." He was just so cool about it, being his normal, cold, self. Completely like how he was only a minute ago.
"But that still doesn't explain why– "
"I kissed you?"
"Yes." I answered breathlessly, frustrated beyond what was normal.
"Momiji…I had to erase her memory. Akito's rapidly withering away. At the rate he's going, I don't think he'll make it through this month. And… I tried to talk to you. But you blocked me out. I can't tell you how much that hurt. How it ripped me apart. I felt like I was dying. You've always been around, right in reach, and then suddenly you're gone from my life completely. Ignoring me. Shunning me. Don't you see how I feel? Why I came here? Miji… I care about you." He had shared his inner most soul with me, showing nothing less than the deepest sincerity. Given his self over. And now… he was in my mercy.
My face is completely blank, guarded. Only my eyes betray me. Calculation. I'm putting the pieces together, figuring something out. And then a smile appears on my face, aimed at Hatori. But not just any smile. The smile that the old me used to wear all the time. The huge, cheesy grin. I step forward, giving him my blessing, posture lax.
I feel his breath on my neck, the moist heat slowly rising. My eyes flicker closed, mouth going dry, but I force them open. His eyes are level with mine, warmth ghosting over my lips. The dark coloration is aflame.
Talented hands press against my chest, moving down to my hips. I'm lost in him, barely able to think. All I know is that Hatori's hands are sliding up my back slowly, stopping at the base of my neck. Then he latches onto me, like I'm his Valentines Day gift. And maybe I am.
His lips mold mine, his hands pressing and pulling out bodies together. Hatori is in control. It's a nice thought, thinking of him overpowering me. And so I allow him. I let all but him wallow away from until there is only him, only Hatori.
His teeth pull at my lower lip, tugging and grinding and massaging. A mewling noise escapes me at his methods. I don't hold back. I want him to hear, to see what he does to me. It works. He becomes more confident. I stand nothing against him. His teeth disappear, replaced by his tongue. My mouth opens and I feel it slip inside. It dances around, sliding over my teeth, rubbing against my tongue, teasing the roof of my mouth. And so I join with my own.
We reluctantly pull apart moments later, hardly moving an inch away from each other as we drink in air. I'm disappointed that Hatori does not return to my waiting mouth, but enthralled with what he does instead. There's a peck to the tip of my nose, one to the edge of my lips. He trails open-mouthed kisses over my jaw and to my neck, breathing over the wet spots. I shiver and wrap my arms tightly around his waist, bringing our groins unconsciously together.
Hatori groans as he searches for something. I'm too far go to even begin to imagine what it could be. And then I know. My adams apple. I am not able to explain the pleasure that coursed through my body when he placed his mouth over it and sucked. A gasp forced my swollen lips to part, requesting for more.
His hands began to move once more. My skin crawled under his well-worked hands, muscles jumping. From my neck to my stomach, moving dangerously slow on my chest. Hatori stopped momentarily when his palms covered my nipples, causing them to perk. Then he moves on, up farther, to firmly hold my shoulders with care.
Hatori pulls back, satisfied, still holding onto me. My arms drop to my sides as I feel his eyes on me. They rake over my body with a fervent hunger, seemingly memorizing everything about it. From my lithe form to the little pouch of baby fat that's my stomach, which has slowly been fading away and turning to muscle as my body matures. I don't look at him. My head is facing to the left, eyes glued on the tiled floor, cheeks flushed. His hands cup my face, turning it back to look at him. I grudgingly obey. Hatori moves his hands away, his fingers brushing against my lips.
Then he begins to pull of his shirt. I can't help but stare. It's so… sexy. Seeing him strip in front of me. I watched, captivated. His broad body looked nothing less than what I had expected, muscles defined under his creamy skin. His hipbones did nothing to help his khaki slacks from riding low. A faint trail of dark hair led down to a place I dare not think of, let alone look at. I swallow, hard, breath hitching.
Hatori takes a step towards me. I wonder… What would happen if step away? So I do. He takes another step towards me. I step back. He moves forward. It's like a dance. A dance of sexual tension. I laugh outright as he growls with frustration. We continue to move until my back hits a tiled wall. He lets out a triumphant noise. I look from him to the room around us. Somehow… I had led him right into the bathroom, the shower stall to be exact.
I laughed again at the strangeness of the situation. I have no time to do much of anything else. His arms and chest are pinning me to the wall, lips pressing into mine. The pressure is immense, the kiss rough. I could do with this sort of punishment more often. His tongue slips into my mouth, and we begin the dance we had started earlier. Again the need for air pulls us apart. Again he begins to attack my neck. And again he searches for my adams apple.
Hatori licks and sucks, nibbles and nips at my flesh. I feel myself bruise, skin brake open. But I only moan. I only groan. Asking for more. The pleasure mounts. This is so new to me. I enjoy it. Oh, so much. And he is too. I hope. My arms twine around his body, nails digging into his waist. I shift into him, cocking my hips into his. Friction. Sweet, sweet friction. His arms widen, hands sliding against the wall. Hatori grasps onto the only thing he can find as I grind against him again.
I feel something wet, something cold, spray violently onto us. I lurch forward, surprised, into a just as surprised Hatori. We fell on the wet tiles, landing with a thud. I had twisted us around, falling on my back. He landed on me, legs tangling with my own, straddling me. Something hard pressed into my thigh and I willed myself not to think of it. Now warm water sprayed on us. We were soaked in moments.
He leaned forward, his dark hair, thick with water, dripping onto me as I look up at him. He smiles. I smile. And we laugh. Long and hard, water still spilling upon us. He laughs until he is kissing me again. I laugh until I feel his lips trailing down my neck. Until I feel him nipping at my collarbone. Until he begins to kiss down my chest. My back arches into his touch, pressing my hips up. And when he presses down, I let out a moan. Urging him to do it again. And he does.
His lips cover one of my nipples, tugging it inside his mouth with his teeth. Pleasure shot down through my body. Heat pooled in that place I still do not allow myself to think about as he continues his torturous antics. Oh, the friction. I open eyes I did not know I had closed. I look up at him. His face is twisted with adoration, with care. Beautiful. But they're also holding a question… Asking for permission.
"Hatori." I sigh, burying my nose in his neck, fingers trailing down his back to his hips to unbutton his pants.
My fingers were trembling so bad that he stopped me with a swift kiss and unbuttoned them himself, sliding them off and away with his boxer briefs.
"Miji, you don't-" Hatori begins, staring into my eyes.
"I want to." I say firmly and pull him down to me, pressing my lips to his wet chest.
He tugs on the only piece of clothing covering me and I wiggle my hips to help escape from it. Then his hands are massaging over my erection. At first I jump, not expecting the pleasurable contact. But then I ease into his touch, letting the feeling of bliss take over my mind.
"Hatori…" I say breathlessly, but I am unable to continue.
His lips are on mine, his tongue baiting mine into his mouth. A hand is still rubbing my erection while the other moves slightly away. A strange sensation overtakes me. I feel something moving around, two somethings, scissoring and stretching my insides. Then they're gone, causing me to whimper in protest.
"Miji?" Hatori questions with a kiss.
"Please…" I gush in a wonton voice.
I feel him enter me then. Pain shoots up my spine, my cry swallowed by a passionate kiss.
"Wait it out." Hatori promised apologetically, cradling me to his chest. "It'll feel better."
And so it did. My body slowly became accustomed to this new intrusion and soon the pain all but disappeared. Then Hatori began to move. He slid slowly out and pushed, just as slowly, back in. All I saw was white light as pleasure burned through my veins.
"Hatori!" My head tilted back to let loose my plea. I wanted more. I needed more. Kami forbid I didn't get any.
He obliged, this time faster. My fingers pressed and pulled just above his shoulder blades, nails biting into his soft skin. I moaned with each thrust, hiding my face in his neck to muffle to noise. My legs wrapped around his waist, my hips cocking upward to bring him farther in me. To feel more. Warmth began to pool I my stomach. The pressure mounted. I was close. Soon I would be pushed over the edge.
"I- Hah… I- Ah…" My warning was useless as I bit into his neck, coming.
Hatori followed shortly, riding out his orgasm with erratic thrusts, my name on his lips. Then we lay still under the warm torrent of water spilling down on us, panting in each other's arms, not wanting to move.
"Hatori" I murmur after a short while, running a hand through his soaked hair.
"Hmm?" Was all he could manage.
"I love you."
" I know." His head lifted from resting on my chest, his eyes meeting mine. " I've always known."
"I won't leave you." My only reply was for him to place a sweet kiss to my lips.
A/N: What did you think? Review!